If you divorced due to YOUR affair, what do you tell people?

[Anonymous]

How do you explain or address questions about why you divorced?

I was married for 15 yrs & most ppl thought we were a good Christian couple, a solid family. We divorced because ex cheated. I have had a hard time responding to people who found out about our divorce because they are typically shocked. No one saw this coming.

That made me wonder…. If *you* are the cheater, and that was the cause of dissolution, what do you say, if anything, when asked why you divorced?

[Anonymous]

I truly can’t imagine asking anyone why they are getting/got divorced- even my closest friends. Anyone rude enough to ask that can properly be ignored.

[Anonymous]

Pp, that’s the way things should be. But, naturally, friend and family wonder. Some keep their mouth shut and others ask “what happened?”

[Anonymous]

*Friends, pardon the typo.

[Anonymous]

My mom says "Our marriage ended" and "we weren't able to get along" and leaves it at that. Those things are literally true, of course.

I don't think you need to give a reason just because people ask for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pp, that’s the way things should be. But, naturally, friend and family wonder. Some keep their mouth shut and others ask “what happened?”

I think people try to keep it private for the sake of the kids. My mom had a pretty public affair in a small town and everyone knew, it was really horrible for me as a teenager. Regardless of who is at fault, people don't have a right to know, so they will just have to live with their questions unanswered.

[Anonymous]

It is not clear if you or your spouse cheated.

People can ask. You don’t have to answer. You can let them finish their question, keep silent. If they continue asking just politely speak about something else or tell them you’d rather not get into the details.

[Anonymous]

My ex says "i wasn't a good husband"

He told his girlfriend he cheated.

He tells some people about his mental health struggles (PTSD), but not a lot. Just really close friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is not clear if you or your spouse cheated.

People can ask. You don’t have to answer. You can let them finish their question, keep silent. If they continue asking just politely speak about something else or tell them you’d rather not get into the details.

"We divorced because ex cheated" is not clear?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex says "i wasn't a good husband"

He told his girlfriend he cheated.

He tells some people about his mental health struggles (PTSD), but not a lot. Just really close friends.

It seems like he wants to get it off his chest. That’s fine. He shouldn’t have to explain himself to unrelated spectators.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not clear if you or your spouse cheated.

People can ask. You don’t have to answer. You can let them finish their question, keep silent. If they continue asking just politely speak about something else or tell them you’d rather not get into the details.

"We divorced because ex cheated" is not clear?

That part is, but the title says what would you say if it was YOUR affair, and then on the last part “ If *you* are the cheater, and that was the cause of dissolution, what do you say”

So is she looking for what to say if the husband was the cheater or if she was the cheater?

Comprende??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you explain or address questions about why you divorced?

I was married for 15 yrs & most ppl thought we were a good Christian couple, a solid family. We divorced because ex cheated. I have had a hard time responding to people who found out about our divorce because they are typically shocked. No one saw this coming.

That made me wonder…. If *you* are the cheater, and that was the cause of dissolution, what do you say, if anything, when asked why you divorced?

Why don’t you just tell the truth, that your ex cheated?

[Anonymous]

Op here. I get the idea that the cheater doesn’t have to explain themselves. I agree it’s not anyone’s business. I was just curious & wanted to hear how the cheater handled these situations.

[Anonymous]

Op here. I wanted to hear from the person who cheated - how do they explain things to inquiring friends, family, coworkers, etc?

In my case, I’m not the one who cheated. I get questions from friends & family and it’s out of love and genuine interest, not due to any desire to gossip or be nosy.

I just wanted to hear from the other vantage point- the vantage point of the person who cheated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not clear if you or your spouse cheated.

People can ask. You don’t have to answer. You can let them finish their question, keep silent. If they continue asking just politely speak about something else or tell them you’d rather not get into the details.

"We divorced because ex cheated" is not clear?

That part is, but the title says what would you say if it was YOUR affair, and then on the last part “ If *you* are the cheater, and that was the cause of dissolution, what do you say”

So is she looking for what to say if the husband was the cheater or if she was the cheater?

Comprende??

I'm the one who did 'comprende', amigo. It was clear who cheated - the OP's ex. And it was also clear that OP was curious about what cheaters told people. Whether they were OP's ex or YOU or someone else.