Coaches, do you stonewall parents on level discussions?

Anonymous
My kids coach is refusing to move my kid (12) up a level with her friends. This is a pretty high level group. I keep saying that I am not taking no for an answer and they stopped responding. The director of the program has already been brought into the discussion and they agreed with the coach. What are my next steps?
Anonymous
None. You lost.

You could get your kid private coaching so that they can earn their spot in the high level group, actually.
Anonymous
You could ask "what does my child need to work on and demonstrate mastery on in order to move up?"

But by saying "I am not taking no for an answer," you've already labelled yourself as That Parent. The coach said your child is not ready to move up. The program director says your child is not ready to move up. The only thing you've accomplished is being needlessly confrontational and likely removing any benefit of the doubt coaches might give your kid when it comes to moving up next season.

The next steps are very clear. Either accept that your child has things they need to work on if they wish to move up, or leave and find another place to do the sport. But be prepared that another place may put your child at the same level.
Anonymous
The coach isn't stonewalling you. He said no. The director said no. Time for some life lessons for parent and kid alike
Anonymous
You can't insist your child move up a level if they haven't earned that right through skill.
So disappointing that you think they can.
Anonymous
I would love to be your kids coach and tell you that in fact, you are taking no for an answer
Anonymous
OP let it go. You’ve now been labeled as “that parent” and even IF they move her up, she won’t play. You stepped in it, big time.
Anonymous
So parents can't observe the performance and see that she should be with the higher level? I know what I saw, her skills are similar, and she wants to be with her friends. She needs the challenge.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:The coach isn't stonewalling you. He said no. The director said no. Time for some life lessons for parent and kid alike

This OP. It sounds like you have reached the end of the line with this club. Your next steps are:
1. stay on the lower level and get private coaching to try to move up next season or next year
2. reach out to other teams for last min try-outs for this season or next season (there may be repercussions for your current team or for you, if you back out last min)
3. if your kid is worried about losing face time with the friends who moved up a level, you should probably help your kid plan some more get-togethers with the friends outside of the sport.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My kids coach is refusing to move my kid (12) up a level with her friends. This is a pretty high level group. I keep saying that I am not taking no for an answer and they stopped responding. The director of the program has already been brought into the discussion and they agreed with the coach. What are my next steps?


What sport
Anonymous
The other girls that moved up are 13-14, plus 1 super talented favorite 12 year old that was moved up. My daughter is within her age group. She just thinks she should have moved with her friends. She only knows a couple kids on the lower team. We are talking very elite vs. A team skill level.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:So parents can't observe the performance and see that she should be with the higher level? I know what I saw, her skills are similar, and she wants to be with her friends. She needs the challenge.

But teams don't have unlimited spots, and coaches and directors have the right to decide how many spots, and who goes into them. The sooner you learn that many youth sports are not designed around the needs of the kids, the better. One day, maybe we can all get together to create a system that challenges and uplifts the most kids possible. But until then, we are stuck in the real world.
Anonymous
Your kid not good evough. Get over yourself
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:The other girls that moved up are 13-14, plus 1 super talented favorite 12 year old that was moved up. My daughter is within her age group. She just thinks she should have moved with her friends. She only knows a couple kids on the lower team. We are talking very elite vs. A team skill level.


So dance, cheer, or gymnastics?
Sounds like your 12 year old isn't at the level of the super talented one.
Anonymous
Wow.
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