Am I being taken advantage of?

[Anonymous]

Single mother in my neighborhood asked if her 4th grader could walk home with me and my 1st and 3rd graders this year as she couldn't be there for pickup. There is a busy intersection with no crossing guard she isn't comfortable with him crossing and he is new in the school this year and doesn't know anyone. He is home alone for about 45 mins before she gets home. We are friendly with the neighbor and kid and my 3rd grader plays with him sometimes but we don't know them super well. I felt bad and wasn't prepared for this ask and said sure. All of my friends and husband are shocked I did not ask to get paid for this. Should I have? FTR there is a bus and he could take the bus and walk from the neighborhood bus stop home so its not like they have 0 options. I'm also a SAHM if that makes a difference.

Also the last 2 days since its been nice my kids wanted to go to the playground after school so we took this with us so I ended up watching him for like half an hour both those days.

[Anonymous]

I would have zero problem doing this. I'm walking anyways so walking with 1 more kid is no big deal. And I wouldn't mind keeping an eye on a kid for 30 min at the playground. I do think you need to talk to her about what will happen if your kids are sick, you have an appt after school so are going to pick them up, etc. There will be days you won't be walking, what happens then?

[Anonymous]

Does this actually make your life harder? It sounds like you’re not having to go out of your way at all. I would totally do this (and wouldn’t dream of charging).

This is the “village” everyone is talking about. In exchange for like 1 min of your energy a day (if that) this other family’s life is a million times smoother.

And, if you ever need help, you’ve got a great close neighbor you can call in an instant.

If there’s some logistical problem or challenge to this, that would change my answer, but the difference between watching two elementary kids on a playground and three is, to me, negligible.

[Anonymous]

I think your friends and husband suck for suggesting you get paid to have a kid walk home with you so he can be dropped off at his house.

It would be different if you were babysitting him, but he's just accompanying you on a walk you already take.

If you don't want to take him to the playground and such, tell the other parent you're starting up after-school activities and you won't be reliably available to take him home from school.

[Anonymous]

I agree, I’d have done this when a SAHM no problem. And another kid to play with at the playground is never a bad thing. Unless the kid is a problem himself-misbehaving, mean, what have you.
Most 4th graders are pretty self sufficient and need very little looking after in reality.
Agree you need to discuss what happens when you aren’t able to walk with him.

[Anonymous]

You want to get paid for walking near a nine year old? What?

[Anonymous]

This would be fine with me. You are walking that way anyway. I see this as a normal neighborly thing to do. Your DH and friends are narcissists.

[Anonymous]

That seems like a pretty normal neighborly thing to do. I can’t imagine asking to be paid to do it.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, better to sah no than ask for pay. But she does need a backup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Single mother in my neighborhood asked if her 4th grader could walk home with me and my 1st and 3rd graders this year as she couldn't be there for pickup. There is a busy intersection with no crossing guard she isn't comfortable with him crossing and he is new in the school this year and doesn't know anyone. He is home alone for about 45 mins before she gets home. We are friendly with the neighbor and kid and my 3rd grader plays with him sometimes but we don't know them super well. I felt bad and wasn't prepared for this ask and said sure. All of my friends and husband are shocked I did not ask to get paid for this. Should I have? FTR there is a bus and he could take the bus and walk from the neighborhood bus stop home so its not like they have 0 options. I'm also a SAHM if that makes a difference.

Also the last 2 days since its been nice my kids wanted to go to the playground after school so we took this with us so I ended up watching him for like half an hour both those days.

So just ask her once in a while to watch your kids.

[Anonymous]

Thank goodness a near unanimous reply. This is the village, as the PP was saying. Your community!

[Anonymous]

Ok thank you! I also thought it wasn't a big deal but everyone else thinks I'm nuts and it's too big a commitment. One of my friends is paying a neighbor for something similar. I needed a sanity check.

[Anonymous]

I did something similar to this several times over the years. I considered myself to be very lucky to be able to work part time when my kids were younger so I could be there after school. I was more than happy to help other families. I wouldn’t dream of asking for money.

[Anonymous]

A 4th grader? I’d have no issue doing this and would not expect to be paid. Just a neighborly thing to do. He is just walking with you- he isn’t a preschooler that needs babysitting.

Also it would be nice to have a neighbor to call upon if you get in a jam yourself (I assume she would be willing to reciprocate)- don’t discount that. It takes a village.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok thank you! I also thought it wasn't a big deal but everyone else thinks I'm nuts and it's too big a commitment. One of my friends is paying a neighbor for something similar. I needed a sanity check.

Is she paying a neighbor to walk a 4th grader or is she paying a neighbor to walk a Kinder or 1st grader -- that's a big difference.

I would not be surprised if this doesn't even last the year because of the child's age. They are new to the school and the mom is understandably nervous about traffic and just her kid going to a new school on his own. I bet the backup winds up being "kid walks to school on his own" by January because he is old enough to do that and it won't all be new by then.

And then guess what -- next year he'll be in 5th grade and I bet if you wanted to you could send your older kid to walk to school with the neighbor on their own and then you could just walk with your younger child. And you'll know the neighbor kid really well from having walked with him the previous year and there may be days where you are sick or need help and he can help walk your younger kid as well and you'll feel comfortable with it because this family is now reliably friends at that point. And you'll be grateful for the help and backup.

This is how it's supposed to work!