If your children reject your beliefs, do you question yourself and your sanity
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Anonymous
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None of our kids attend church as adults, in fact they say our religion is a cult now. They were home schooled and attended church school. Their kids go to public school and don't regularly attend church. They drink alcohol and challenge godly teachings they were raised with. In fact they blame us and the church for a lot of their adult problems. I feel like coming back to church would help these problems, but they reject it. It makes me question what was it all for.
Anyone's adult kids come back around to the church in time? |
Anonymous
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That must be difficult, op. I hope they don’t instigate negative conversations about your religion with you and just accept that religion is a very person experience.
I’m the adult child you are speaking about as are my siblings. None of us have turned back to our parents church for various reasons. |
Anonymous
| Is your religion a cult? Are you willing to accept your children as fundamentally good people even if their beliefs are different from yours? What are their adult problems and are they addressing them in the way they think best? |
Anonymous
| It could be time to take a good hard look at your religion and examine why you felt you needed to homeschool. If it had all been that successful, your kids would have toed the party line. |
Anonymous
| Tell us your religion so dcum can decide who is right |
Anonymous
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I'm not Christian but same thing happens in Muslim families as well, kids raised in western countries have little to no interest in religion even if they don't denounce it verbally. Most of generation Z is more into humanity and even if they are following their ancestral religion, they follow their own interpretations, not accepting how ancient conservative interpretations.
To be fair, religion is a very personal thing, you can't force another adult (even if you are their parent) to follow it. Don't sweat over it, leave it to them and God. |
Anonymous
| No. My adult kids can make their own decisions. Doesn’t make mine right or wrong. |
Anonymous
| I’m not religious but I’m open to religions as human cultural creations that help us understand and navigate the world, like other forms of art/literature/government/culture. If you want to convince them to do something differently, make an argument for it that doesn’t boil down to “this human says God says to do this.” If you can’t, maybe it’s not such a great practice. |
Anonymous
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I’m sorry you home schooled your kids belonged to a religious cult and you are blaming alcohol (my guess is they have a few beers or enjoy a cocktail or two omg )and want them back in the church 🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂
Indoctrinated kids getting out is glorious OP you should be proud your kids broke away from the stupidity and found brain cells. OP if you can not see how religion is the root cause of all wars and hate and child abuse you are the one who needs redemption not them. |
Anonymous
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I'm sorry you're in pain about this, OP.
I strongly recommend you don't push too hard right now, because it will only alienate them further. It's very possible they will return to their faith when they get older, but it will probably not be your extreme denomination, since that was a source of trauma to them, but a more mainstream and socially-integrated one. If that happens, would you be relieved or still disappointed? What are your goals for your children and grandchildren? Growing up in a majority Catholic European country, I was friends with several Muslim boys at school. Some of their families were very conservative and didn't let their daughters go to school (which was illegal where we lived). The family I was closest to was more liberal and had "given in" to their children's requests... and put up a Christmas tree, with presents! My friend was delighted. He still read the Quran every day. I think it's beautiful that children growing up in a multicultural world follow their faith how they want, and create new traditions. When you think about it, this is how it's always been ever since the dawn of humanity. |
Anonymous
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The reality is that your children are adults and they have free will. As long as they are upstanding citizens, don’t break the law and love and care for their family, I wouldn’t lament about this. You pressuring them will not help or change them.
-signed a Catholic |
Anonymous
| Alcohol is bad for financial, physical , emotional and social health. This has been proven even though liquor lobby tried their best to influence studies with funding. There are no two ways about it any more, no matter if one is Christian or heathen or atheist. |
Anonymous
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My mother was legit mentally ill and though it wasn’t about religion, my sibling and I were raised in a sort of cult I guess - quite differently from the rest, with long periods of truancy from school (we had official permissions but it was effectively my parents making us stay home and learn), not allowed certain foods or clothes etc.
Needless to say my own kid is a regular child doing regular child and later teen things. My nephews also lead mainstream lives afaik. No, my mother never questioned her sanity until she died even though she should have, quite literally. My dad is a bit of a kook as well and he never questions his beliefs either. All I can say is that normal people usually adhere to mainstream societal roles and those who don’t - well there’s something a little wrong with them. I mean very basic things like drinking alcohol on occasion or taking kids to Disneyland, you know. |
Anonymous
It’s true but I don’t see the point of vilifying it where a glass or two every once in a while becomes demonic. |
Anonymous
+1 What kind of lives do they live? Are they good citizens, good spouses and parents? Going to church, homeschooling, and abstaining from alcohol are beside the point. |