If your children reject your beliefs, do you question yourself and your sanity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kids don’t agree with your religious views. As kids living under your roof, you may have been able to force it on them, but as adults they get to make up their own mind. You should be proud of them for not just blindly following and instead thinking about what they want for their own life.

My mom forced me to be Catholic. As a kid I saw issues within Catholicism that I did not like, but my mom somehow thought it would save me. All it did was give me Catholic guilt. I purposely did not raise my children in any type of religion and instead exposed them to life. If they choose to embrace a religion I have no problem with that, just like I will have no problem with them choosing not to embrace religion.

Accept your kids for who they are. If everyone could just accept the right of others to be different the world would be a much better place. I don’t have a problem with the choices others make so long as they aren’t impacted me.

+1

I reached my kids in the Lutheran Church after being raised in the Catholic Church myself. Neither of them is a believer or a churchgoer now.

I am comfortable with that because I gave them the foundation for developing their own religious and spiritual beliefs. I viewed my job as exposing them to beliefs, practices, and a worldview, not indoctrinating them.

They understand what they reject, which is part of the point in my view.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None of our kids attend church as adults, in fact they say our religion is a cult now. They were home schooled and attended church school. Their kids go to public school and don't regularly attend church. They drink alcohol and challenge godly teachings they were raised with. In fact they blame us and the church for a lot of their adult problems. I feel like coming back to church would help these problems, but they reject it. It makes me question what was it all for.



Anyone's adult kids come back around to the church in time?

OP, what was it all for, in your view?

Homeschooling was very difficult, lots of conflicts and fights daily. Also, the loss of one income was hard to recover from. It seems like a huge waste of time, money and energy.

Yes, it was. And almost certainly worse academically than a public school. Why didn't you send your kids to public school?

There was a movement in the 1990’s to homeschool with creationism as a basis. So the homeschooling curriculum didn’t conflict with church doctrine.

What church doctrine?

Many Christian denominations including Catholic, Lutheran, and Episcopalian believe in evolution. Creation is a Bible story, not science.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kids don’t agree with your religious views. As kids living under your roof, you may have been able to force it on them, but as adults they get to make up their own mind. You should be proud of them for not just blindly following and instead thinking about what they want for their own life.

My mom forced me to be Catholic. As a kid I saw issues within Catholicism that I did not like, but my mom somehow thought it would save me. All it did was give me Catholic guilt. I purposely did not raise my children in any type of religion and instead exposed them to life. If they choose to embrace a religion I have no problem with that, just like I will have no problem with them choosing not to embrace religion.

Accept your kids for who they are. If everyone could just accept the right of others to be different the world would be a much better place. I don’t have a problem with the choices others make so long as they aren’t impacted me.

+1

I reached my kids in the Lutheran Church after being raised in the Catholic Church myself. Neither of them is a believer or a churchgoer now.

I am comfortable with that because I gave them the foundation for developing their own religious and spiritual beliefs. I viewed my job as exposing them to beliefs, practices, and a worldview, not indoctrinating them.

They understand what they reject, which is part of the point in my view.

Don’t you find your own perspective a bit weird…and really just influenced by the belief that you have to give your kids religion…I guess because that’s what parents do?

Why did you see it as your job to exposing them to beliefs and practices or giving them any religious foundation?

It’s hard when as a parent you realize religion is just some weird construct to keep people morally centered (I guess?), yet really just a bunch of myths and stories.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kids don’t agree with your religious views. As kids living under your roof, you may have been able to force it on them, but as adults they get to make up their own mind. You should be proud of them for not just blindly following and instead thinking about what they want for their own life.

My mom forced me to be Catholic. As a kid I saw issues within Catholicism that I did not like, but my mom somehow thought it would save me. All it did was give me Catholic guilt. I purposely did not raise my children in any type of religion and instead exposed them to life. If they choose to embrace a religion I have no problem with that, just like I will have no problem with them choosing not to embrace religion.

Accept your kids for who they are. If everyone could just accept the right of others to be different the world would be a much better place. I don’t have a problem with the choices others make so long as they aren’t impacted me.

+1

I reached my kids in the Lutheran Church after being raised in the Catholic Church myself. Neither of them is a believer or a churchgoer now.

I am comfortable with that because I gave them the foundation for developing their own religious and spiritual beliefs. I viewed my job as exposing them to beliefs, practices, and a worldview, not indoctrinating them.

They understand what they reject, which is part of the point in my view.

Don’t you find your own perspective a bit weird…and really just influenced by the belief that you have to give your kids religion…I guess because that’s what parents do?

Why did you see it as your job to exposing them to beliefs and practices or giving them any religious foundation?

It’s hard when as a parent you realize religion is just some weird construct to keep people morally centered (I guess?), yet really just a bunch of myths and stories.

I saw it as my job because religion has been meaningful to me and played an important and helpful role in my life. I recognize that this is not the case for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Alcohol is bad for financial, physical , emotional and social health. This has been proven even though liquor lobby tried their best to influence studies with funding. There are no two ways about it any more, no matter if one is Christian or heathen or atheist.

It’s true but I don’t see the point of vilifying it where a glass or two every once in a while becomes demonic.

Agree. The biggest Catholics in Italy will never drop their small daily wine rituals.

[Anonymous]

I could be your kid, except I cut my parents out of my life because they refused to accept our love me because I left the church. You need to leave religion out of your relationship with them. Are they healthy? Are they happy? Do they have what they want in life? Are they good people? That's what matters. That's what shows you what the point was. My parents didn't care that the answer to all those questions was yes.

[Anonymous]

Consider that it’s embarrassing to the parents to have kids who reject their religion. Like a failure in their parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Consider that it’s embarrassing to the parents to have kids who reject their religion. Like a failure in their parenting.

This^. It's taken as a personal failure by parents themselves and by the community they live in plus additional guilt and worry of kid being doomed on judgement day. Some people believe in it and others are only scared of what if. Ones who were born and raised in religious communities and still part of that, this is a religious, social and mental issue. Parents blame each other and even get divorced over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kids don’t agree with your religious views. As kids living under your roof, you may have been able to force it on them, but as adults they get to make up their own mind. You should be proud of them for not just blindly following and instead thinking about what they want for their own life.

My mom forced me to be Catholic. As a kid I saw issues within Catholicism that I did not like, but my mom somehow thought it would save me. All it did was give me Catholic guilt. I purposely did not raise my children in any type of religion and instead exposed them to life. If they choose to embrace a religion I have no problem with that, just like I will have no problem with them choosing not to embrace religion.

Accept your kids for who they are. If everyone could just accept the right of others to be different the world would be a much better place. I don’t have a problem with the choices others make so long as they aren’t impacted me.

+1

I reached my kids in the Lutheran Church after being raised in the Catholic Church myself. Neither of them is a believer or a churchgoer now.

I am comfortable with that because I gave them the foundation for developing their own religious and spiritual beliefs. I viewed my job as exposing them to beliefs, practices, and a worldview, not indoctrinating them.

They understand what they reject, which is part of the point in my view.

Don’t you find your own perspective a bit weird…and really just influenced by the belief that you have to give your kids religion…I guess because that’s what parents do?

Why did you see it as your job to exposing them to beliefs and practices or giving them any religious foundation?

It’s hard when as a parent you realize religion is just some weird construct to keep people morally centered (I guess?), yet really just a bunch of myths and stories.

DP. I agree it's valuable to expose kids to beliefs and practices. That way they get to see all sides, the compassion and humanity, and also the issues. Then they can make informed decisions.

Otherwise they end up like XDH and his siblings, or like any DCUM anti-religion bigot really. Mocking and scoffing but having no idea what religion is really all about, good or bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kids don’t agree with your religious views. As kids living under your roof, you may have been able to force it on them, but as adults they get to make up their own mind. You should be proud of them for not just blindly following and instead thinking about what they want for their own life.

My mom forced me to be Catholic. As a kid I saw issues within Catholicism that I did not like, but my mom somehow thought it would save me. All it did was give me Catholic guilt. I purposely did not raise my children in any type of religion and instead exposed them to life. If they choose to embrace a religion I have no problem with that, just like I will have no problem with them choosing not to embrace religion.

Accept your kids for who they are. If everyone could just accept the right of others to be different the world would be a much better place. I don’t have a problem with the choices others make so long as they aren’t impacted me.

+1

I reached my kids in the Lutheran Church after being raised in the Catholic Church myself. Neither of them is a believer or a churchgoer now.

I am comfortable with that because I gave them the foundation for developing their own religious and spiritual beliefs. I viewed my job as exposing them to beliefs, practices, and a worldview, not indoctrinating them.

They understand what they reject, which is part of the point in my view.

Don’t you find your own perspective a bit weird…and really just influenced by the belief that you have to give your kids religion…I guess because that’s what parents do?

Why did you see it as your job to exposing them to beliefs and practices or giving them any religious foundation?

It’s hard when as a parent you realize religion is just some weird construct to keep people morally centered (I guess?), yet really just a bunch of myths and stories.

DP. I agree it's valuable to expose kids to beliefs and practices. That way they get to see all sides, the compassion and humanity, and also the issues. Then they can make informed decisions.

Otherwise they end up like XDH and his siblings, or like any DCUM anti-religion bigot really. Mocking and scoffing but having no idea what religion is really all about, good or bad.

Exposing them is different than raising them in a specific faith…after you rejected a different faith for all kinds of reasons.

Funny how anyone that doesn’t agree with your views on religion is now an anti-religion bigot. Sounds like you are a pro-religion bigot.

[Anonymous]

No I don’t take it either way.

Detach.

[Anonymous]

Yes we probably failed in the religion department. One adult kid got her kids through the major sacraments, the other adult kid has not. But both families are very busy, 2-4 kids, lots of communities, focused on school, sports and friends and traveling. It’s good to be involved in things that are bigger than oneself or immediate neighborhood.

Can’t complain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:None of our kids attend church as adults, in fact they say our religion is a cult now. They were home schooled and attended church school. Their kids go to public school and don't regularly attend church. They drink alcohol and challenge godly teachings they were raised with. In fact they blame us and the church for a lot of their adult problems. I feel like coming back to church would help these problems, but they reject it. It makes me question what was it all for.

Anyone's adult kids come back around to the church in time?

They get to live their own lives the way they want. That is all there is to it. You indoctrinated them, they are smarter and rejected the foolishness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes we probably failed in the religion department. One adult kid got her kids through the major sacraments, the other adult kid has not. But both families are very busy, 2-4 kids, lots of communities, focused on school, sports and friends and traveling. It’s good to be involved in things that are bigger than oneself or immediate neighborhood.

Can’t complain. [/quote

You didn't fail. You just don't get to control another adult's life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kids don’t agree with your religious views. As kids living under your roof, you may have been able to force it on them, but as adults they get to make up their own mind. You should be proud of them for not just blindly following and instead thinking about what they want for their own life.

My mom forced me to be Catholic. As a kid I saw issues within Catholicism that I did not like, but my mom somehow thought it would save me. All it did was give me Catholic guilt. I purposely did not raise my children in any type of religion and instead exposed them to life. If they choose to embrace a religion I have no problem with that, just like I will have no problem with them choosing not to embrace religion.

Accept your kids for who they are. If everyone could just accept the right of others to be different the world would be a much better place. I don’t have a problem with the choices others make so long as they aren’t impacted me.

+1

I reached my kids in the Lutheran Church after being raised in the Catholic Church myself. Neither of them is a believer or a churchgoer now.

I am comfortable with that because I gave them the foundation for developing their own religious and spiritual beliefs. I viewed my job as exposing them to beliefs, practices, and a worldview, not indoctrinating them.

They understand what they reject, which is part of the point in my view.

Don’t you find your own perspective a bit weird…and really just influenced by the belief that you have to give your kids religion…I guess because that’s what parents do?

Why did you see it as your job to exposing them to beliefs and practices or giving them any religious foundation?

It’s hard when as a parent you realize religion is just some weird construct to keep people morally centered (I guess?), yet really just a bunch of myths and stories.

DP. I agree it's valuable to expose kids to beliefs and practices. That way they get to see all sides, the compassion and humanity, and also the issues. Then they can make informed decisions.

Otherwise they end up like XDH and his siblings, or like any DCUM anti-religion bigot really. Mocking and scoffing but having no idea what religion is really all about, good or bad.

Exposing them is different than raising them in a specific faith…after you rejected a different faith for all kinds of reasons.

Funny how anyone that doesn’t agree with your views on religion is now an anti-religion bigot. Sounds like you are a pro-religion bigot.

What does raising them in a similar Christian denomination to the one you grew up in have to do with anything?

And how does one go about "exposing" their children to different religions?