Would you consider having a revenge affair/ fling if your spouse had an affair and you decided to stay together?

[Anonymous]

If your spouse cheated and you stayed together for the kids, would you revenge cheat?

[Anonymous]

Well, that would be stupid and a real to not stay together.

[Anonymous]

A reason not to stay together.

[Anonymous]

No.

When my husband cheated, my high school sweetheart was newly single. He gets in touch every few years with some kind of special memory. I blocked him on SM to remove the temptation to reach out to him.

And to be honest, I wasn't too concerned about my husband's feelings at that time. But I knew that affairs are selfish, short-sighted, and destructive. Why would I do that to myself or to my imaginary AP? The endorphins would be brief, but the consequences would be long.

Ten years later, I know I made the right decision. If I want to be with someone else, I'll open my marriage, end my marriage, or work through those feelings some other way. But cheating is just a short term high with long-lasting harm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No.

When my husband cheated, my high school sweetheart was newly single. He gets in touch every few years with some kind of special memory. I blocked him on SM to remove the temptation to reach out to him.

And to be honest, I wasn't too concerned about my husband's feelings at that time. But I knew that affairs are selfish, short-sighted, and destructive. Why would I do that to myself or to my imaginary AP? The endorphins would be brief, but the consequences would be long.

Ten years later, I know I made the right decision. If I want to be with someone else, I'll open my marriage, end my marriage, or work through those feelings some other way. But cheating is just a short term high with long-lasting harm.

I get what you’re saying but I don’t think anyone would consider a one night fling with a hot ex to be “cheating” in that scenario. And leveling the playing field could have real psychological benefits for some. I’m just talking about a fling, not a full on affair.

[Anonymous]

If you are only staying together for the kids, why not just have an open marriage? You can both have relationships but at least there wouldn’t be any lying. Except to the kids, of course.

[Anonymous]

Not automatically, no, but I would definitely put myself first. Which means on all fronts. I’m very picky when it comes to men, so this might not include an affair. Depends who I meet and whether they too are willing…

[Anonymous]

Nope. BC I would burn his clothes in the front lawn and drop him, fast. For the last 15 years as the breadwinner with many business trips, I have been fully aware of all instances where I could have cheated with another married or unmarried colleague or business associate -easily. I never once thought about cheating. Trust is everything to me and If he were to cheat I’d switch faster than a light switch and he’d be dead to me, no way would I stay. I actually do not understand why women do stay. I personally know 3 and smh….

[Anonymous]

No, because cheating is about who you are not about who your spouse is.

[Anonymous]

No. But I also wouldn’t stay together for the kids.

I would stay with my husband if we were both willing to do the work to repair the marriage. Having an affair is not working to repair the marriage.

[Anonymous]

Yea, why don’t you go ahead and put the nail in the coffin of your marriage

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I get what you’re saying but I don’t think anyone would consider a one night fling with a hot ex to be “cheating” in that scenario. And leveling the playing field could have real psychological benefits for some. I’m just talking about a fling, not a full on affair.

Really? I think a lot of people would consider it to be cheating.

[Anonymous]

Revenge gives the appearance of trying to get back at the cheating spouse. No I wouldn’t do that. But I would consider the marriage officially open.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I get what you’re saying but I don’t think anyone would consider a one night fling with a hot ex to be “cheating” in that scenario. And leveling the playing field could have real psychological benefits for some. I’m just talking about a fling, not a full on affair.

Really? I think a lot of people would consider it to be cheating.

Not in the same way though. Justifiable cheating.