Midlife u-curve: when did you bottom out and what changed that helped you to get happier

[Anonymous]

If you've experienced the midlife happiness u-curve can you share when you started shifting upwards and if there were any specific factors that you think helped with that shift?

[Anonymous]

At age 50, I started meditation and practicing gratitude and mindfulness. I started working really hard at accepting that old age and death are normal, healthy parts of life. Just being born is amazing and being alive long enough to make it to old age is a gift.

[Anonymous]

About a year after my second parent died.

For the first part of my 40s I was in this sandwich between having babies/toddlers and ailing parents. It was incredibly stressful and we were stretched very thin. Losing my last parent was gut wrenching. But after a year I learned to accept it and think of the future again.

[Anonymous]

Uggg… I keep thinking I’m at the bottom of the U but then keep sinking lower.

It’s not catastrophic or anything but I feel happiness declining.

Late 40s stink. I think my wife is in it worse.

Too much responsibility, not enough community, not enough fun / joy. It’s lead to some chronic stress.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know. The hits keep coming. However, I mediate, do EFT (tapping with Brad Yates), yoga, and weights. All of that helps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At age 50, I started meditation and practicing gratitude and mindfulness. I started working really hard at accepting that old age and death are normal, healthy parts of life. Just being born is amazing and being alive long enough to make it to old age is a gift.

I am 50 and absolutely loved reading this, and needed it. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

58 and feel very happy. Have had both big struggles and big blessings but I really feel like I’ve had a wonderful life … so far. Had a recent health scare and I was g thinking about how much I loved life

[Anonymous]

Menopause. Total turning point in terms of anxiety. I'm much happier now. I mean, everything's sagging or gray but who cares, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At age 50, I started meditation and practicing gratitude and mindfulness. I started working really hard at accepting that old age and death are normal, healthy parts of life. Just being born is amazing and being alive long enough to make it to old age is a gift.

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Yes indeed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At age 50, I started meditation and practicing gratitude and mindfulness. I started working really hard at accepting that old age and death are normal, healthy parts of life. Just being born is amazing and being alive long enough to make it to old age is a gift.

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Yes indeed

This. Thank you. For me it also coincided with menopause. I've been anemic for a long time and my health is just so much better, I love my hot flashes compared to prior constant freezing. I also drop the rope much more, it's freeing, I cannot fix everybody's problems and I've come to terms with that.

[Anonymous]

I’m turning 55 and just feeling like I may be on the upturn. The last 5 years have been tough - work, kid parent stresses. I really hope that I can find more contentment over the next 5 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you've experienced the midlife happiness u-curve can you share when you started shifting upwards and if there were any specific factors that you think helped with that shift?

Practicing meditation daily helped me to see all the bad habits, assumptions, and judgments I had collected in the first half of my life. Breaking and undoing those habits was the start of my upwards trajectory at age 45.

[Anonymous]

I will second:

Meditation (I listen to Tara Brach)

Gratitude

Letting go of expectations (parental, societal…)

I’ll add:

Gummies because they helped me access a new perspective and think deeply about old assumptions and what life is really about.

Sleep

Water

[Anonymous]

Oh goodness, I was already doing all the things to take care of myself and lift my spirits , but close to a decade of sandwich generation with so many other life stressors was doing me in. This is morbid to say, but as parents passed away and we started to re-evaluate priorities things improved. Both my MIL and mother are far more difficult than FIL and my father (who have both passed). One parent got so abusive, at the urging of therapist I outsourced everything-even the management of her care. I needed to make sure she was safe and cared for, but I didn't need to be her verbal punching bag and I had a strong gut feeling if I didn't step back I would be her physical punching bag.

That made all the difference. I have a long list of stressors as does my husband-plenty worth getting out out the violins or sad trombones, but not having to deal with abuse made it all doable. I was becoming passively suicidal-would never harm myself, but thought a lot about how I would be fine if we all died together in a plane crash or something because then nobody would face abuse. Messed up thinking. Anyway sunshine came back to my life when I no longer would take another tantrum or as mentioned in another post "verbal stabbing."

[Anonymous]

Caring for teens and elderly parents in poor health plus menopause currently so I appreciate the posts from people who’ve come out the other side. Currently with PP who was thinking a lot about the plane crash. Marriage is hanging by a thread along with my sanity.