How to work with Gen Z minority woman employee
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Anonymous
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There is a Gen Z woman that recently was added to my team. First job out of college. I am looking for advice on how to work better with her since we've just started. It's been kind of rocky from the start and we've only had about four interactions so far. The first time I scheduled a meeting to help her with something she was on her phone half the time even when I was talking to her trying to explain something. Every single email seems to be some sort of power play either questioning something I'm saying or telling me she's too busy to do something despite only having half her week booked up while the rest is on training. Basically, she challenges everything I say and goes to other people, specifically younger minorities in the company, to try to override anything she doesn't understand instead of coming to me to discuss. I've been in this business for 30 years and at this company for over 15 years. I'm confident where I am but it's a headache to deal with the underlying hostility and rudeness. Recently I was teaching her how to do something and expecting her to do it so she'd understand a task from start to finish and she got asked to do something else for a day and told me I should do the work instead of her because she was busy. It's not an urgent project and the entire reason she was on it was to learn the process.
She was hired by my boss to be put on my team. Her portfolio of work is all about helping people with trauma, safe spaces, her fundamentalist religion, and helping minorities. She is also a model and wants to own her own company one day per her portfolio. She seems to see the world in a very black and white view where she is some sort of main character person fighting against the evil of the world. She doesn't seem to have any respect for titles and roles in a business or with proper social interactions such as not using your phone when someone is teaching you something or putting the work back on someone else just because you got assigned something else. The proper thing to do would have been to just notify me of the additional work (which she knew I already had been anyway) and just ask to help her out with the workload and timing to complete. Not say that I should just do the work instead of her as if I should take orders from her. She's been at the company for 1 month. I am a traditional woman who enjoys working with people in a trusting, conversational, interactive manner. I also have trouble with outside consultants and clients who act like bullies often getting into rages or lying about something to get their way. I get sensitive to this type of behavior but have learned not to take it personally, and just do what they say and document for the inevitable fallout. Clearly, I have a history of people thinking they can take advantage of me if this person 1 month in is ready to disrespect a team lead like this so often. How can I confidently be kind and disciplined while respecting her age and background? I understand she's very young and want to empower her in a way that doesn't make her a bully and conceited but a true collaborator on the team. I am trying to reduce the power play issues without losing authority for important items. |
Anonymous
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Oh, my condolences. No advice, but I have a coworker who isn't nearly as bad and it really grates on my nerves. I don't know what your company culture is like, but at my place, we all know each other and get along. So when problems started, I went to my boss and teammates and said "I'm sorry, I am really having a hard time getting along with this person. We bump heads constantly. Can you please point me to our SOP for topics A, B and C because I really need this backup to train him."
One thing I'd do in your situation is to have someone else in copy on your emails. Definitely don't go it alone, have folks see what's going on. Because I've been there as the young crusader type and sounds like she's asking for trouble in a hamfisted way. |
Anonymous
She's actually always doing that ccing other employees because she'd rather work with minority A or B. I do cc higher ups on the project but they are like me. Too kind to ever say anything and they aren't directly related to the issue. |
Anonymous
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This does not sound like a gen z / minority issue.
Sounds to me like this is a this-person-has-probably-never-had-a-real-job issue, perhaps along with a chemistry issue (you probably won’t ever like each other). You say you have 30 years of experience—surely you can navigate such issues? |
Anonymous
| What is so hard about saying "I'd really appreciate it if would put your phone away while we discuss x,y and z so that you'll be able to give the issue your full attention." |
Anonymous
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Is she your direct report? If yes, I'd start documenting her pushing back on you, her manger, and her inability to multi task and constantly questioning leadership (you).
-gen x female minority |
Anonymous
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Had something like this recently but maybe not as extreme. Thankfully it was just an intern and I knew I wouldn’t have to deal with him permanently. He would arrive late to meetings and coaching sessions, and twice completely didn’t join until 5 minutes into the meeting time after I emailed him to ask whether he would be able to make the meeting (that he already accepted the Outlook invitation to). He was a sharp kid though and for the most part did high quality work. So not huge deal for me but clearly left an unpleasant impression as well.
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Anonymous
while OP can certainly say this, it's super rude, disrespectful, and unprofessional of the worker. I'd document these cases to get ready to fire her. I have gen Z kids, and I teach them to not be what like OP is describing, especially about the phone. They know better. |
Anonymous
I tend to be very good at my job but not interpersonal skills. I'm good at technical items and collaborating on solutions. I work well with people who have more deferring manners and have trouble with people who are bossy and undermining. I work in an industry that takes a lot of precision and collaboration but also has a lot of risk takers and high earners with money that like to show off their power. I used to be nervous around clients who would do this and then make me responsible for their decisions with the final product, but have learned to be deferential and just document. I am still having a harder time with younger staff and how to navigate those interactions. I want to empower them in a way that also requires respect and have a terrible time doing this. I think because of this deferring kind of English polite behavior I tend to have trouble being in roles of authority. The only thing I've learned is to ignore these types of power plays and just focus on the work. Yes, next time I will definitely ask for the phone to be put away. I just get so shocked that people even do this type of stuff and want to have positive reactions so often am a little light on comments like this till it bothers me and then of course it comes out with some negative emotion. |
Anonymous
I agree but it sounds like the phone thing is the least of her problems. I don’t think there’s a really good answer here because it’s clear OP doesn’t want to become a micromanager. I would say the main thing that she can do is to document and make sure the employee’s performance can be measured in the most objective way possible. |
Anonymous
| I think making this about her demographics might be a mistake here. I've had new employees pushback across demographics, the key is to set clear boundaries and expectations and enforce them. There's also an extent that you respect someone's autonomy when appropriate and avoid micromanaging. If you're struggling on a particular issue or want some guidance on where the line is for your organization you should speak to your boss. For me, finding that boundary line one of the hardest aspects of management when I first took it on. |
Anonymous
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It seems she is receiving tasks from several people and that is an issue you can try to address. I've been in the position where more than one person who wasn't my boss gave me work and no one was aware of my workload. It became impossible to do the work under everyone's deadlines.
One way to solve this is to funnel the work thru her supervisor who can then decide her day-to-day. Or push back the deadlines for your work if she needs more time to complete. This is also something HR can try to solve. |
Anonymous
This is a very good point, especially with someone who is brand new. Maybe at a minimum a shared folder? There are people who will try to foist work off on a newbie because they're leas positioned to say no. |
Anonymous
The only reason I bring up demographics is because it was in all the work she submitted for the job application so clearly she thinks it defines her and is her worldview. There are plenty of minorities at my workplace where this doesn't define them at all. |
Anonymous
Our team has two senior people. It's not a big deal that she got other work. We all share work. I just think it's weird that she keeps going to others for advice that have nothing to do with the project and then putting the work back on me as if my schedule is just free to take any of her work especially when she only has enough work for half the week and the rest is on training. |