Should white women who marry "ethnic" men change their last names?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it bad form for a lily-white American woman who marries a man with an obviously Latino/Asian/Middle Eastern-sounding name to change to her husband's name or should she keep her own (anglo-American) surname? Of course some women today prefer keeping their maiden names anyway.

I don't know why, but something just rubs me as cultural appropriation or faking diversity when someone like Larla Jones gets married and becomes Larla Rodriguez, Larla Zhang, or Larla Al-Habib. It's like pretending not to be white.

Bob Dylan was born Robert Allen Zimmerman.
John Wayne was born Marion Robert Morrison.
Jack Palance was born Volodymyr Palahniuk.
Kirk Douglas was born Issur Danielovitch Demsky.

White guys change their names to hide their ethnicity why can’t white women take names by marriage that don’t accurately represent their ethnicity either.

[Anonymous]

Should anybody really be changing their name when they get married? I don't think so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No woman should change her name. What a silly outdated tradition.

So keep her father’s name and let her kids have her husband’s name? How progressive!

Or she could keep HER NAME (the name she’s been using since birth) and then also give her children her name since she grew them and gave birth to them.

Wish I'd done that. I gave them my husband's last name. They seem to like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s tradition, fool. Woke has limits.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is beyond dumb.

It is not dumb, it is actually very smart. You take Hispanic last name, claim yourself as Hispanic next whatever application you submit.

Funny story - my white as a ghost friend married a Hispanic man and took his name. She had a job interview and the interviewer was disappointed upon her arrival bc he thought she’d speak Spanish! She never claimed to be anything other than what she is on her application but they assumed.

I married into an Asian American family and took my husband's name because we wanted to have one family name.

My SIL, whose first name is very Irish (like Maura or Bridget) married an Irish American man and changed her name too. When go out together, people get so confused. We've been given each other's credit cards at restaurants on more than one occasion.

I also disappointed a woman from my husband's culture when I started at my current job. She worked there amd was hoping for someone she could speak her native language with. Her face fell when she saw me - she liked to tease me about that later.

These days, though, intercultural marriages are not exactly rare, and I feel like people are much less surprised to see that someone with my last name is white - certainly less so than when we got married 25 years ago.

Why would it confuse people that your SIL has both a typical Irish name and an Irish surname? That makes no sense. I had to read it twice to try to follow the logic.

So, the SIL looks Asian, but has a name like Colleen O'Malley. The Caucasian PP has a name like Jane Kuo. They get the wrong credit cards back in restaurants. I think this is funny!

[Anonymous]

Everybody is being too uptight! My mom is a very brown Hispanic woman who married an Anglo (two of them actually) and I have a good chuckle about her name sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband told me he wold not respect me very much if i changed my name to his. I love my feminist guy. In grateful return, I gave my children his last name and my last name is their middle name.

You're weird

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband told me he wold not respect me very much if i changed my name to his. I love my feminist guy. In grateful return, I gave my children his last name and my last name is their middle name.

You're weird

Thanks for reviving a zombie thread for this compelling commentary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it bad form for a lily-white American woman who marries a man with an obviously Latino/Asian/Middle Eastern-sounding name to change to her husband's name or should she keep her own (anglo-American) surname? Of course some women today prefer keeping their maiden names anyway.

I don't know why, but something just rubs me as cultural appropriation or faking diversity when someone like Larla Jones gets married and becomes Larla Rodriguez, Larla Zhang, or Larla Al-Habib. It's like pretending not to be white.

It's perfectly fine for a woman or a man to take up last names of his or her spouse, regardless of their's or spouse's race, religion or ethnicity if they want to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Christina el moussa

So what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Christina el moussa

Tarek has a Lebanese Catholic father and a Belgian mother. You are saying his mom should not have taken the name El Moussa either?

Guess what? People can marry whomever they want and they can choose what family name they want, and this is from someone who didn’t change her name.

This is none of your business and this post is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it bad form for a lily-white American woman who marries a man with an obviously Latino/Asian/Middle Eastern-sounding name to change to her husband's name or should she keep her own (anglo-American) surname? Of course some women today prefer keeping their maiden names anyway.

I don't know why, but something just rubs me as cultural appropriation or faking diversity when someone like Larla Jones gets married and becomes Larla Rodriguez, Larla Zhang, or Larla Al-Habib. It's like pretending not to be white.

Stop being a bigot. American women are still free, so should use whatever last name she prefers.

[Anonymous]

This kind of discussion is the privilege that comes with living in the most powerful and richest country in this universe. Those who made it here have so much and so much wealth and they are just bored to death so why not worry about last names lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get the vitriole directed at OP. I know a Jane Very Bland Last Name who took her husband’s last name just to stand out a bit. Had nothing to do with tradition.

I have never seen hyphenated last names or giving ‘ethnic’ first names to the kids. That indicates to me which direction the family wants to go.

Your personal experience does not create universal truths, PP.

You have "never" seen hyphenated or "ethnic" kid names; that means only that YOU have never seen those things--not that they don't exist. Try to get outside your own narrow experience.

[Anonymous]

Omg.

Get. A. Life. OP

Are you bored and looking for ways be offended?