Why are men surprised a change in responsibility may lead to change in sex?

[Anonymous]

As to why I do it, the same reason why people climb mount Everest.

[Anonymous]

^^^^^^

Haha “easy pickings” we used that term all the time about unmarried 28-32 year olds and neglected women with young children.

So true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every day it is a different man wanting the same level of sex and intamacy and energy out of their wives that they had while dating.
Yet no one realizes that she does not have the same work load, burden, etc that she did while dating.
I haven't had 8 hours of sleep in almost 8 years. First it was babies not sleeping through the night. Then it was DH gaining weight and developing snoring (refusing to do anything until recently), then it was a work promotion and working longer hours etc.
I haven't had a day to myself in over a year due to kids, DH working from home and inlaw visits.
I have to cook or find food for 5 people daily, even if it is cereal or a sandwhich a 2 year old can't do that himself.
I have to do laundry for myself and 3-4 others routinely (DH hates laundry and will ask me to do his too at least 1x a month)
I have to buy more birthday gifts and send cards then I care to (and we have cut back) but with kids in school and friends/family it all adds up.

These are just a few things that deplete my energy and wanting to have sex. We do have sex right now 1-2 times per week but any more than that I just don't have any more to give.
Now, if I had my own place again, only cooked for myself, did laundry for myself, slept in until 9 on the weekends, where a day off of work was all about ME. Then hell ya. I would have a ton more energy to throw at a guy or a husband or whoeever but you know what? That is not what marriage and having a family is. I am sick of the woman always getting blamed for not being willing to light herself on fire to keep others warm without 1 bit of empathy from the men on this thread about all that the woman in their life does to keep it going.

Male here. This post has a lot of wisdom packed in it.

This also shows a way to get to married women. To me easiest pickings are married women with very young children, on a business trip, ideally a professional conference/company event, where they are not making any presentations and do not have a deliverable that is due.

Most of the women that I had success with often just started going on business trips again after their children are born. I especially remember one lady, very shy and pretty conservative in that she seemed to talk mostly to women and hardly ever interacted socially with men in that conference. I had to pursue her like crazy, no success for 3 days until the last night of the conference. She genuinely loved her husband and would not open her eyes until she can no longer hold. Very sweet lady.

Dont flame me. I am not going to read this thread.

But I will pretend to be new posters and continue to post in it, lol.

Someone read a PUA for Dummies book and developed some fantasies...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We try to have sex a couple times per week at least. If I'm not in the mood, I offer a BJ instead. Everyone is happy.

It isn't that much time or effort at all and if it makes my DH happy, I'm happy about that.

I am amazed why a lot of wives don’t have this attitude.
With this Kind of attitude we can even get to world peace.

Same reason you don’t go down without reciprocation.

Most women want sex just not bad sex.

But I do...

[Anonymous]

When you play games in a relationship, you get exactly that in return.

Divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK, but if sex were an enjoyable, positive break that made you feel connected to your partner, seen, loved, beautiful, whatever you're into, it'd be a lot more appealing regardless of your schedule. And in the absence of that, it's always going to be a bit of a chore.

When you are chronically sleep deprived, nothing feels like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Husband here - with two careers and three kids and everything that entails sex 1-2 times a week is very reasonable.

Wife here. Personally I agree and I have always made sure it happened in our marriage at least once a week even when our kids were infants and waking up multiple times every night. What bothers me is when he complains that he “never” gets sex and doesn’t get enough when we’ve always had it at least once or twice a week.

Why do middle aged people with demanding careers and multiple children think their sex lives are you g to resemble that if carefree young adults?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Husband here - with two careers and three kids and everything that entails sex 1-2 times a week is very reasonable.

Wife here. Personally I agree and I have always made sure it happened in our marriage at least once a week even when our kids were infants and waking up multiple times every night. What bothers me is when he complains that he “never” gets sex and doesn’t get enough when we’ve always had it at least once or twice a week.

Why do middle aged people with demanding careers and multiple children think their sex lives are you g to resemble that if carefree young adults?

I am with you that twice per week is solid. From a man's perspective (even an objectively GGG man) sex just does not take a great deal of time or effort, it's free, it feels good, strengthens the marriage, and there is like zero downside. Seriously add up all the pregame+foreplay+private_bit_bumping+afterglow, repeat this twice per week, total investment of time = 1 episode of Love Island. The demographic of that show being ... middle aged wives with demanding careers and multiple children. So then... why not?

[Anonymous]

Love island doesn't whine I don't watch it enough and doesn't put 80 percent of house crap on me

[Anonymous]

I used to binge watch the real world, sex and the city and and law and order SVU on the weekends with friends while single. Things change. Why men can't see that. .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Love island doesn't whine I don't watch it enough and doesn't put 80 percent of house crap on me

You married a man baby whiner who does nothing around the house? No wonder you don't want sex! Divorce that useless loser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to binge watch the real world, sex and the city and and law and order SVU on the weekends with friends while single. Things change. Why men can't see that. .

One defect in the "things change" argument is that commitment to monogamy is also a "thing".

[Anonymous]

When you lose your sex drive, either for your partner or in general, sex is a chore. Another thing on the to do list. Sometimes it's his fault, often times it's not.

It's frustrating for woman too, you know. Like we had any idea our hormones and kids would zap our libido.

If he is kind to me I will psych myself up for sex, but again it's not what I want to be doing. If I was single again and had my own place, a new person and time to regroup mentally I would want sex again.

It's not personal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you lose your sex drive, either for your partner or in general, sex is a chore. Another thing on the to do list. Sometimes it's his fault, often times it's not.

It's frustrating for woman too, you know. Like we had any idea our hormones and kids would zap our libido.

If he is kind to me I will psych myself up for sex, but again it's not what I want to be doing. If I was single again and had my own place, a new person and time to regroup mentally I would want sex again.

It's not personal.

And before the open marriage guy replies "and then he loses interest in monogamy" yes I know. Women aren't blind or idiots, we have to do our part or he will cheat. Many if of prefer to turn a blind eye. Not everyone feels that cheating is the end of the world

[Anonymous]

Men are like "but it only takes 10 minutes"

Women are like remember when you spent 40 minutes just hugging and cuddling and caressing.