Why do demanding women seem to have the most loving, faithful husbands?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:So much self-congratulating going on in this thread!

I will say, most of my friends treat their husbands terribly, in ways I would never tolerate in their DHs' shoes and would never dream of treating my DH -- nagging them like toddlers over imaginary germs and inconsequential details, replying to everything in a snippy way, rolling their eyes at them to others, demanding to be waited on, always "having a headache" -- and none ever seem to pay a price. I assumed these are the type of pansy men who have midlife crisis affairs with anyone who blows sunshine up their ass, because they're so desperate for respect and admiration. But who knows?

Awww sounds like this thread hit a nerve with you and there's a lot of projection going on (or wishful fantasizing)

Of course it's upsetting to watch people be rewarded for being unkind. Are you proud of it? (And if you're not unkind, then this wasn't about you.)

So you admit this is wishful thinking. Being demanding isn't being unkind, and you really need to check your conception of moral behavior required of women.

Ok Karen

Great, well thought out comeback, Joyce!

You’re a strange little wannabe bully. A classic hollering hit dog. It’s pretty sad.

I'm a bully because I clapped back when you called me a Karen? And I called out your sad excuses for responses?

Anyway... get some therapy and stop taking out your anger here. It's boring.

DP, idiot. You fight a lot over nothing, eh? Pathetic, sweetie.

If you're truly a DP and not the same one (cause you have a similar tone) and you're really weighing in with this you need help too. All these angry, emotionally stunted people are REALLY triggered by this thread. Incredible

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've noticed this. Also, women with trust funds have husbands who are so in love. I'm sure those same women just think that they are #blessed. Money makes the world go round.

I wonder if this is true. My cousin makes more than her husband (he still makes good money) and our family is well off and his is middle class. He’s a great husband and father and it seems that he always wants to make her happy (maybe a pushover). Seems to fit this hypothesis.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:“Seem”

Is the opportune word in the subject header

It sure is. I know many that "seem" this way and their husbands were in fact cheating One such woman was on another board I used to frequent and sounded a lot like the women in this thread. and then poof! I wonder how she's doing now, she kind of disappeared after the affair, which I understand. An affair is devastating, but I'm sure it's harder when you've built yourself up to be this perfect person "who would never let an affair happen to her", it's got to sting that much more.

Yeah. That woman sounds an awful lot like you do now

Nice try, but no. Not me. This was years ago on JJB.

[Anonymous]

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Because they don’t settle for less.

It really is that simple.

I think this is gospel right here

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Wow, some posters are getting really triggered over the thought of a demanding or confident woman. I wonder why that is.

It's interesting you use the word triggered. I find this post repugnant because it's yet another version of blame the woman for everything.

It's not "blame the woman for everything". It's "give credit to women". But I guess if you are in the doormat group you may take it as an attack since you are not in the group getting credit.

Except it's not giving credit for something. It's saying if a woman wasn't XYX she wouldn't get cheated on. I am far from a doormat which is how I can see OP's BS and call at your BS.

It is giving credit. The title is "why do demanding women get such great guys". That's giving credit.

You've chosen to interpret that as "why do undemanding women not get great guys" which is your projection based on your own life experience and probable rejection. Get some therapy.

But you and every other woman here who perceives herself as demanding has said very nasty and condescending things about women whose husband's cheat. That's not credit. That's making women responsible for men's actions.

[Anonymous]

I know one who’s an absolute b1tch and her husband is really easy going, nice and funny. She belittling, rude and down right nasty human as well as her kids. No idea how/why he stays.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Wow, some posters are getting really triggered over the thought of a demanding or confident woman. I wonder why that is.

It's interesting you use the word triggered. I find this post repugnant because it's yet another version of blame the woman for everything.

It's not "blame the woman for everything". It's "give credit to women". But I guess if you are in the doormat group you may take it as an attack since you are not in the group getting credit.

Except it's not giving credit for something. It's saying if a woman wasn't XYX she wouldn't get cheated on. I am far from a doormat which is how I can see OP's BS and call at your BS.

It is giving credit. The title is "why do demanding women get such great guys". That's giving credit.

You've chosen to interpret that as "why do undemanding women not get great guys" which is your projection based on your own life experience and probable rejection. Get some therapy.

But you and every other woman here who perceives herself as demanding has said very nasty and condescending things about women whose husband's cheat. That's not credit. That's making women responsible for men's actions.

Last laugh will be had by others. These 'bad b*tches' are in for a real surprise in life. I'm guessing they don't have a day job either so it will be even more brutal...

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Wow, some posters are getting really triggered over the thought of a demanding or confident woman. I wonder why that is.

It's interesting you use the word triggered. I find this post repugnant because it's yet another version of blame the woman for everything.

It's not "blame the woman for everything". It's "give credit to women". But I guess if you are in the doormat group you may take it as an attack since you are not in the group getting credit.

Except it's not giving credit for something. It's saying if a woman wasn't XYX she wouldn't get cheated on. I am far from a doormat which is how I can see OP's BS and call at your BS.

It is giving credit. The title is "why do demanding women get such great guys". That's giving credit.

You've chosen to interpret that as "why do undemanding women not get great guys" which is your projection based on your own life experience and probable rejection. Get some therapy.

But you and every other woman here who perceives herself as demanding has said very nasty and condescending things about women whose husband's cheat. That's not credit. That's making women responsible for men's actions.

No, that's making women responsible for the choices they make and benefits, good and bad. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. If you cant count on a man in some ways, why would you be able to count on him in other ways? Dont blame me for your bad choices. The truth hurts, I guess

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know one who’s an absolute b1tch and her husband is really easy going, nice and funny. She belittling, rude and down right nasty human as well as her kids. No idea how/why he stays.

So he's not responsible for his kids or how they turned out? You seem very quick to attribute very positive attributes to this guy and let him off the hook.

[Anonymous]

^ that’s assuming people don’t change in 20, 30 years time...

Just wait. You sound young and naive.

Good people sometimes turn out to be shit late in life and NOBODY saw it coming.

Good luck.

Seeing things so black and white is going to result in some hard times down the line.

Your posts really are doing the opposite of making you sound strong and secure, btw.

[Anonymous]

^ in a Trump-like manner

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I treat my husband respectfully at all times and apologize when I don't. I try to be available for his physical needs as much as possible. I thank him for working so hard to support us all the time.

We are married 7 years and on our 4th kid and we are both happy. Yes, he does a lot. We both give 100%.

We'll see how it works out for you long term. I wouldnt want that life but if you are extremely beta I guess you can be happy... better you than me!

FWIW, I am SURE I would be considered "demanding" but I also think the above.

What makes it a little concerning is that what I consider "demanding" is expecting my husband to do the same. And he does,

We are at year 18 and 4 kids.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Wow, some posters are getting really triggered over the thought of a demanding or confident woman. I wonder why that is.

It's interesting you use the word triggered. I find this post repugnant because it's yet another version of blame the woman for everything.

It's not "blame the woman for everything". It's "give credit to women". But I guess if you are in the doormat group you may take it as an attack since you are not in the group getting credit.

Except it's not giving credit for something. It's saying if a woman wasn't XYX she wouldn't get cheated on. I am far from a doormat which is how I can see OP's BS and call at your BS.

It is giving credit. The title is "why do demanding women get such great guys". That's giving credit.

You've chosen to interpret that as "why do undemanding women not get great guys" which is your projection based on your own life experience and probable rejection. Get some therapy.

But you and every other woman here who perceives herself as demanding has said very nasty and condescending things about women whose husband's cheat. That's not credit. That's making women responsible for men's actions.

Other person from before - and I just also posted above - I called myself "demanding" (Well, I assume people would call me demanding behind my back )and I don't think that at all. This is me in italics below.

I would say I am demanding of myself and others. I want to be in a good relationship. I work hard at it. My husband does, too. I think we are demanding of ourselves to the relationship, which is key. I happen to be more Type A and he happens to be more Type B.


I am in a relationship that people might describe this way- or they might say I wear the pants. Not sure that's really true, but I am def more assertive and less easy going than my husband. This is really interesting to read, and a agree with a lot of it-
- demanding women know what they want. i didn't settle when i got married. that could also be interpreted as i am "too demanding" but i tend to think marriage is the most important decision and i wasn't going to be one of those women married to a man who didn't know how to change a diaper three kids into the marriage
- clarity about what they want from their partner
- you teach people how to treat you
- type a attracts more easy going

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, some posters are getting really triggered over the thought of a demanding or confident woman. I wonder why that is.

It's interesting you use the word triggered. I find this post repugnant because it's yet another version of blame the woman for everything.

It's not "blame the woman for everything". It's "give credit to women". But I guess if you are in the doormat group you may take it as an attack since you are not in the group getting credit.

Except it's not giving credit for something. It's saying if a woman wasn't XYX she wouldn't get cheated on. I am far from a doormat which is how I can see OP's BS and call at your BS.

It is giving credit. The title is "why do demanding women get such great guys". That's giving credit.

You've chosen to interpret that as "why do undemanding women not get great guys" which is your projection based on your own life experience and probable rejection. Get some therapy.

But you and every other woman here who perceives herself as demanding has said very nasty and condescending things about women whose husband's cheat. That's not credit. That's making women responsible for men's actions.

No, that's making women responsible for the choices they make and benefits, good and bad. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. If you cant count on a man in some ways, why would you be able to count on him in other ways? Dont blame me for your bad choices. The truth hurts, I guess

NO. You and others have flat out said husbands cheat because the women are easy going. That is blaming the women. As another poster said. I hope you don't have to learn the hard way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ that’s assuming people don’t change in 20, 30 years time...

Just wait. You sound young and naive.

Good people sometimes turn out to be shit late in life and NOBODY saw it coming.

Good luck.

Seeing things so black and white is going to result in some hard times down the line.

Your posts really are doing the opposite of making you sound strong and secure, btw.

Yup. I just hope that if it happens, that these ladies have some who shows them more compassion than they show right now.