My High Schooler is Going to Lose Her Mind If It's All Distance Learning

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm so worried about my 16 yr old DD. Do you have ideas for helping teens emotionally handle being stuck at home? She is getting less and less interactive and involved already, despite our best efforts to engage her and lift her mood. What ideas do you have for helping teens in the fall when the reality will truly hit that the positive things about high school are completely gone? She needs things to look forward to. (I'm not looking for general tips about the benefits of chores, volunteering, etc. And she will not want to try to join a pod.) Thanks.

She should not be stuck at home isolated. DC is allowing for social distanced outings with one or two or three people with masks on. You should allow her to see her friends and form a pod. She should exercise with a friend or two etc... no reason for her to be isolated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you typically hire a housekeeper, could you teach dd all of those tasks and pay her a little bit?

That will cheer her up. 😳

DP. I have DDs who have struggled with depression. Chores aren't typically fun, but having opportunities to contribute to your family and being rewarded for doing so can be beneficial for mental health IMO.

[Anonymous]

Op again. Thanks so much! The problem with a puppy is we already have cats. If we got lucky with the right dog I could see that being great for her but I’ve heard so many bad stories about dogs having to be re-homed — that would make her life much worse.

You can get a dog or puppy that's already been fostered in a home with cats. Your cats might be pissed off for a bit, but they would come around. A new puppy would also be a great reason for your daughter to invite a friend for a walk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op again. Thanks so much! The problem with a puppy is we already have cats. If we got lucky with the right dog I could see that being great for her but I’ve heard so many bad stories about dogs having to be re-homed — that would make her life much worse.

Go through a local rescue and get a dog that was fostered with cats.
When I was just out of college, I had two cats. I adopted a dog who was fostered by a woman who fostered cats and dogs. She was fine with my cats. I then adopted a puppy and the puppy just learned that cats were fine from the beginning. Many people have dogs and cats, OP. You just need a dog that is not cat aggressive.

Puppies are a little crazy and hard so shoot for a bit older. The foster will know if they are good with cats, were in a home with cats, etc. The work load with a young puppy - yikes.
I am an experienced dog owner and yet we got a puppy last year and it was so much harder than I remembered. Puppies are so much work! Older dogs, even 6 mo + are less crazy and less in demand. Plus you will already know if they are good with cats.

[Anonymous]

PPs, what jobs do your teens have? My DS is 15 but will definitely want to work next summer.

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Op again. Thanks so much! The problem with a puppy is we already have cats. If we got lucky with the right dog I could see that being great for her but I’ve heard so many bad stories about dogs having to be re-homed — that would make her life much worse.

You can get a dog or puppy that's already been fostered in a home with cats. Your cats might be pissed off for a bit, but they would come around. A new puppy would also be a great reason for your daughter to invite a friend for a walk.

This but an older puppy or dog. Puppies can't really be out and walking off your property until they are fully vaccinated against parvo.

[Anonymous]

I think these boot strap/suck it up posters are probably into having control and don't want to admit that things are bad and now mostly beyond their control. They cope by just pushing through with blinders on and expect their family to do the same.

If they don't see it, then they don't have to admit it exists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so worried about my 16 yr old DD. Do you have ideas for helping teens emotionally handle being stuck at home? She is getting less and less interactive and involved already, despite our best efforts to engage her and lift her mood. What ideas do you have for helping teens in the fall when the reality will truly hit that the positive things about high school are completely gone? She needs things to look forward to. (I'm not looking for general tips about the benefits of chores, volunteering, etc. And she will not want to try to join a pod.) Thanks.

She should not be stuck at home isolated. DC is allowing for social distanced outings with one or two or three people with masks on. You should allow her to see her friends and form a pod. She should exercise with a friend or two etc... no reason for her to be isolated.

I'm a pp who said their older teen is getting by because of a job. This is how we're going to make sure our very social, very upset by the change to all DL, younger teen gets through. I've already been in touch with the mom of one of her good friends, and we're going to try and form a pod along with a third friend. No tutors or anything formal, just regular get-togethers rotating houses so the kids can do some schoolwork together and socialize a bit. We still have to work out what each family is comfortable with in terms of location, distancing, etc. but I'm sure we can make it work. I know you said your DD wouldn't want to try and join a pod, OP, but this might be something you have to insist on. If it doesn't work, you can deal with that when it happens but sometimes all it takes is getting your child outside of their comfort zone and then they realize it isn't as bad as they thought it would be. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

NP. I am amazed so many of you are finding pods easy to form. My kids each have a couple of friends with whom they would want to form pods, but these kids have siblings who probably also want to join their own pods, and some kids have started back up with sports - and the parents (including us) are all making different choices such as some go to grocery stores, one family is going to their swim club, one parent has returned to work in an office setting, etc. The pods break down quickly!

[Anonymous]

My sons school did an awesome job with distance learning.

Situation sucks, but not willing to roll the dice on the safety side. Too many unknown variables.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm so worried about my 16 yr old DD. Do you have ideas for helping teens emotionally handle being stuck at home? She is getting less and less interactive and involved already, despite our best efforts to engage her and lift her mood. What ideas do you have for helping teens in the fall when the reality will truly hit that the positive things about high school are completely gone? She needs things to look forward to. (I'm not looking for general tips about the benefits of chores, volunteering, etc. And she will not want to try to join a pod.) Thanks.

I don't get your post. If you don't want tips, then what do you want? It sounds like you're feeding your daughter's drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so worried about my 16 yr old DD. Do you have ideas for helping teens emotionally handle being stuck at home? She is getting less and less interactive and involved already, despite our best efforts to engage her and lift her mood. What ideas do you have for helping teens in the fall when the reality will truly hit that the positive things about high school are completely gone? She needs things to look forward to. (I'm not looking for general tips about the benefits of chores, volunteering, etc. And she will not want to try to join a pod.) Thanks.

I don't get your post. If you don't want tips, then what do you want? It sounds like you're feeding your daughter's drama.

Hit submit too soon. Reading your responses, OP, you have a reason every time for why things won't work. Like...really...what are you hoping to gain here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sons school did an awesome job with distance learning.

Situation sucks, but not willing to roll the dice on the safety side. Too many unknown variables.

Well, good for you and your son, but how is your port relevant to OP's concerns?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Move somewhere where school will be in session?

We are looking at renting a house in Massachusetts for the year. My son is up there for college. I just can not do online learning with 4 kids and work. I just can't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. I am amazed so many of you are finding pods easy to form. My kids each have a couple of friends with whom they would want to form pods, but these kids have siblings who probably also want to join their own pods, and some kids have started back up with sports - and the parents (including us) are all making different choices such as some go to grocery stores, one family is going to their swim club, one parent has returned to work in an office setting, etc. The pods break down quickly!

It would be impossible for us to do a pod. DH works in-person (and has throughout the pandemic), my adult daughter does who is living with us right now, etc.