In what nuanced ways did you NOT realize you had white privilege?

[Anonymous]

I walked up to a cop on the street to ask him a question and my black friend with me freaked out. She would never walk at a cop because it would be considered a act of aggression.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It really freaks me out as a POC when I see white people open packages and eat things or give things to their kids to eat or to play with in stores BEFORE they pay for them. Doing that could so easily get me arrested.

Thank you for pointing this out. I do that with all kinds of things and even fruit (then tell the cashier to charge us an extra banana). Will stop:

The point isn’t that you should stop. We are not trying to take privileges away from people we are trying to extend privileges to everyone.

No. This is one people should definitely stop. Don't eat stuff you haven't paid for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine is similar -- I've brought my own shopping bag into stores, strolled around putting a few groceries in it, and then gone to the checkout and emptied it onto the conveyor belt. Just to avoid dragging around a basket.

Pure white privilege. I've stopped doing it.

In the mid-90s I worked at a Macy’s in the Midwest. I was taught to profile shoppers and watch for shoplifting. The key groups that I was asked to single out -
1. Middle aged white ladies
2. Teenage white girls in groups

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It really freaks me out as a POC when I see white people open packages and eat things or give things to their kids to eat or to play with in stores BEFORE they pay for them. Doing that could so easily get me arrested.

Thank you for pointing this out. I do that with all kinds of things and even fruit (then tell the cashier to charge us an extra banana). Will stop:

The point isn’t that you should stop. We are not trying to take privileges away from people we are trying to extend privileges to everyone.

No. This is one people should definitely stop. Don't eat stuff you haven't paid for.

Agreed - that is not privilege, it is jerk behavior that no one should do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We need some sort of privilege tax where money gets transferred from those who really suffer from the overabundance of privileged guilt to the rest.

No one is asking for a tax you troll. It's just helpful for white people to understand how they move through the world differently and that just because you don’t see it, doesnt mean your friend is overreacting when they say something is racist. And that it helps when you try a little harder to see what is going on around you so that you can actively step in where you can. If you know you snack on stuff at the grocery store all the time, don't sit silently when you see a black person getting harassed for doing the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Nuanced no, more like a slap in the face, but I vividly recall staying late to study at law school with some classmates, the last four to leave were myself and three others all but myself were AA. One didn’t live near the rest of us and public transport was closed for the evening. They had a small conversation amongst themselves and the girl turned to me and asked if I felt comfortable/would I be willing to hail a cab for one of the guys because they didn’t think he’d be able to get one to stop. I froze, it was embarrassing how long it took me to process that this would actually be an issue. I recall just feeling my heart sink thinking this poor guy just couldn’t walk out and get a cab.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get preferential treatment. Like I get pulled over for speeding and get let off without a ticket. People give me coffee and things for free. I thought it was because I was pretty but it's because I'm pretty according to white beauty standards.

+1. I’ve been pulled over twice, never given a ticket— and not once was I worried about my safety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wasn’t driving cross country with my kids and, on a long flat stretch in Kansas, I got pulled over doing 90 in a 65 zone. When the cop came to the window, I rummaged around in the pile of coats and garbage on the passenger seat for my wallet and never though once that he could have pulled a gun on me or hauled me out of the car. I got a ticket for going 75 in a 65 and a kind admonishment to pay attention.

Meant to say “was” driving cross country , obviously. Forgot to mention that I was 6 weeks out from a boob job too, so I had some of that big boob privilege going in addition to the white privilege I was born with.

This is a serious reach. Now you’re just looking for ways to flagellate yourself. Big boob privilege? Please.

I disagree. As a black man, I can say that the chances of me being able to aimlessly rummage around a pile of stuff in my car for my wallet without a cop pulling out his weapon would be low.

I’m not “looking for ways to flagellate” myself, I was being somewhat tongue in cheek. However, if you think a woman doesn’t get treated better by a certain sector of men (cops, for example) when she has big boobs, try having a double mastectomy and then get implants and tell me which times you get more attention and courtesy. This instance, though, was 100% white privilege—not only did the cop not feel threatened, but I never considered that he might have been as I rummaged for my wallet.

[Anonymous]

As a person of color, I see white privilege as an overall "benefit of the doubt." We can all be subject to generic a-holes who would cause issues for anyone. However, as a person of color, you know that in any situation where there is the possibility of things going awry, we are not going to get the benefit of the doubt. People assume that we steal. People assume that we are violent. People assume that we are dumb. And as a result, we start behind the 8-ball. White privilege doesn't mean that bad or annoying or unfair situations don't happen to white people. It just means that it will not be because of your race. You don't have to move through this world wondering when your race will be the reason for whatever issue is happening to you. And because some white people have such a visceral reaction to blacks, that "issue" can cost you your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I walked up to a cop on the street to ask him a question and my black friend with me freaked out. She would never walk at a cop because it would be considered a act of aggression.

That's funny because I'm a cop and people often ask me questions, even black people.

People also tell me to F off once in awhile for seemingly no reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I walked up to a cop on the street to ask him a question and my black friend with me freaked out. She would never walk at a cop because it would be considered a act of aggression.

That's funny because I'm a cop and people often ask me questions, even black people.

People also tell me to F off once in awhile for seemingly no reason.

Well I guess that means the PP was lying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I walked up to a cop on the street to ask him a question and my black friend with me freaked out. She would never walk at a cop because it would be considered a act of aggression.

I was at a recent protest and saw an older white man walk up behind an officer and hug him, wow. They were friends and it was fine, but who does that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine is similar -- I've brought my own shopping bag into stores, strolled around putting a few groceries in it, and then gone to the checkout and emptied it onto the conveyor belt. Just to avoid dragging around a basket.

Pure white privilege. I've stopped doing it.

In the mid-90s I worked at a Macy’s in the Midwest. I was taught to profile shoppers and watch for shoplifting. The key groups that I was asked to single out -
1. Middle aged white ladies
2. Teenage white girls in groups

I remember being watched as a teenager in a group. The difference is that as a white teenager it was annoying. It did not stress me out nor did I ever worry about them calling the cops. I felt safe. Because I knew the police would believe me if I was wrongly accused.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wasn’t driving cross country with my kids and, on a long flat stretch in Kansas, I got pulled over doing 90 in a 65 zone. When the cop came to the window, I rummaged around in the pile of coats and garbage on the passenger seat for my wallet and never though once that he could have pulled a gun on me or hauled me out of the car. I got a ticket for going 75 in a 65 and a kind admonishment to pay attention.

Meant to say “was” driving cross country , obviously. Forgot to mention that I was 6 weeks out from a boob job too, so I had some of that big boob privilege going in addition to the white privilege I was born with.

This is a serious reach. Now you’re just looking for ways to flagellate yourself. Big boob privilege? Please.

I disagree. As a black man, I can say that the chances of me being able to aimlessly rummage around a pile of stuff in my car for my wallet without a cop pulling out his weapon would be low.

Ok but how many white women carry guns and shoot cops, and how many black men do? Prejudice comes from generalizations derived from real statistical differences. I don’t think the prejudice will change until the underlying statistical differences begin to change, sadly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine is similar -- I've brought my own shopping bag into stores, strolled around putting a few groceries in it, and then gone to the checkout and emptied it onto the conveyor belt. Just to avoid dragging around a basket.

Pure white privilege. I've stopped doing it.

The point is not that this type of thing is wrong and you should stop doing it, the point is do what you can so EVERYONE can do this. Stopping this behavior helps no one. Voting, supporting nonprofits and charities and advocacy organizations and black content creators and thought leaders, challenging racist words/assumptions/actions, speaking up when you see someone mistreated. That is actual help.