So overwhelmed by parenting + working FT from home

[Anonymous]

Hoo Boy! So many families will divorce after this is over. Their families and marriages were built on sand and now it all is going down, down, down....

[Anonymous]

I’m so burnt. I don’t want to play anymore. I don’t want to work. I just want to sleep..

Anyone else hitting this wall. There is zero downtime w little kids and full time work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our CEO explicitly said that this is the time to get long-term projects done, prepare for intensive certification exams, etc... because we all have more hours in the day since we are not commuting! He is so clueless.

Sounds like my CEO

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Sorry, not buyin it. Respect is earned, and a grown man who doesn’t know how to take care of or feed his children does not deserve my respect. And PP states she was already exhausted and burned out, so clearly he was a crap parent and partner even before the pandemic.

So what is the solution? Divorce him? Give up kids for adoption now that she has had them from this loser? Abandon them? Will her life become better if her DH or her kids are no longer in the picture through death, divorce or desertion? Maybe she should rave and rant and make her homelife a hell for her children? Hey, there is therapy if her kids are traumatized for life.

She needs a solution that will happen if she and her DH come up with a plan. She needs to do this stat. Maybe make him read this thread.

What’s with the extremely idiotic suggestions? All she needs to do is have a come to Jesus talk with her husband so he picks up his fair share. And btw his “fair share” has nothing to do with what he earns. My DH outearns me but still does a ton for the kids and house.

If PP’s husband won’t do his fair share, then PP should stop stressing herself out about homeschooling. Let the kids play and watch TV and catch them up once things go back to normal.

[Anonymous]

3 kids 5 and under here. DH still has to go in for shifts. Both of us trying to work from one tiny home office. My work is at 75% of usual intensity wise, so like the 40 hours/week it’s suppose to be... except that everything takes longer because I’m at home without my usual resources and government IT sucks. DH is way busier than usual because of COVID. 60-70 hour weeks plus finishing a degree. Our nanny now has 3 kids all day instead of 1 plus 2 afterschool. We are trying to only have her work ~6-7 hour days whenever possible because we don’t want her to totally burnout (obviously we still pay her her 50 guaranteed). It is rough. I cannot imagine how the people with no help do it.

[Anonymous]

Quit one job or hire a babysitter to care for the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Quit one job or hire a babysitter to care for the kids.

Now is not the time to be quitting one job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I get it. My husband and I are both teleworking, but neither of us can "call out sick" in any realistic way unless we legit get COVID 19. Our employers (and coworkers, and supervisors, and direct reports, etc.) all need things from us and we have so much work to get done. Plus we know we're not the only ones struggling so we're not about to dump the work on other people. And we can't exactly call in sick for 8 weeks!!

But we have two young kids at home and IT IS SO HARD. I'm exhausted, and it's only week 1. I don't have any advice. Just commiseration.

This is such BS. If you had the flu, if you broke your arm, if your kid was ill, you would call out for a day or more and your work would be fine. If you died, your work would figure it out. A lot of people here are addicted to the feeling of busyness. The universe is giving you an unprecedented opportunity to slow down and you won't take it.

I have a job, I manage people, I have deliverables. They can wait a few hours each day, or a day or two. They can call me if I'm offline and they desperately need an answer. It's ok to put myself first.

This x1000. The only thing worse than SAHMartyrs is WOHMartyrs. Yes, the world can survive if you take a day off. You may think the company would go bankrupt without you, but they’re resilient, I promise.

Sorry but you don’t know how demanding someone’s job can be at times.
Last year I got pneumonia and was sick for six weeks (high fever for part of the day), genuinely ill. My boss made such a big deal about me taking a day off when a new person who I was supposed to manage was starting. I kept telling her I’m sick I can’t work right now unless you want me to be in the hospital, and she told me to basically suck it up because I’m a manager. I reported it because it’s against corporate policy to have people work sick, but it doesn’t change the fact that she’s still my direct supervisor and has a lot of influence on my compensation.
So yes there are people with demanding jobs that will not let up and most of us don’t have the legit ability to just quit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m so burnt. I don’t want to play anymore. I don’t want to work. I just want to sleep..

Anyone else hitting this wall. There is zero downtime w little kids and full time work.

I feel you. Can you think of something you can do, whether it's reading a book or taking a bath or going for a walk by yourself or watching a movie that you can plan to do and carve out time for? That's what we have been trying to do to keep our sanity. Hugs.

[Anonymous]

I am in the same boat as many of the other posters here - my partner and I are working FT from home with our 4 year old. The last couple of weeks have been so unsustainably hard, and I feel for you OP (and everyone else who has posted about similar issues). But honestly my big take-away from this thread is that you all are AWESOME. We are just barely keeping our shit together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:3 kids 5 and under here. DH still has to go in for shifts. Both of us trying to work from one tiny home office. My work is at 75% of usual intensity wise, so like the 40 hours/week it’s suppose to be... except that everything takes longer because I’m at home without my usual resources and government IT sucks. DH is way busier than usual because of COVID. 60-70 hour weeks plus finishing a degree. Our nanny now has 3 kids all day instead of 1 plus 2 afterschool. We are trying to only have her work ~6-7 hour days whenever possible because we don’t want her to totally burnout (obviously we still pay her her 50 guaranteed). It is rough. I cannot imagine how the people with no help do it.

Our three kids are 8, 6, and 4, and we have no help. We're both teleworking FT, DH is slammed and essential, and I'm slammed and have effectively been made essential. It's hard as hell. Oh, and distance learning is supposed to start this week, so now that's added to our plates. I could not care less about my kids' academics, I just want our family's emotional health to remain as intact as possible. I've already cried twice today, and the prospect of months more of this is more than I can bear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:3 kids 5 and under here. DH still has to go in for shifts. Both of us trying to work from one tiny home office. My work is at 75% of usual intensity wise, so like the 40 hours/week it’s suppose to be... except that everything takes longer because I’m at home without my usual resources and government IT sucks. DH is way busier than usual because of COVID. 60-70 hour weeks plus finishing a degree. Our nanny now has 3 kids all day instead of 1 plus 2 afterschool. We are trying to only have her work ~6-7 hour days whenever possible because we don’t want her to totally burnout (obviously we still pay her her 50 guaranteed). It is rough. I cannot imagine how the people with no help do it.

Our three kids are 8, 6, and 4, and we have no help. We're both teleworking FT, DH is slammed and essential, and I'm slammed and have effectively been made essential. It's hard as hell. Oh, and distance learning is supposed to start this week, so now that's added to our plates. I could not care less about my kids' academics, I just want our family's emotional health to remain as intact as possible. I've already cried twice today, and the prospect of months more of this is more than I can bear.

Yeah our distance learning was supposed to start today too and I haven't even read the materials. Maybe next week. My friends with no kids are wondering why I'm letting the 6 year old play and watch tv with no academics besides 'educational' tv shows, but they don't understand that I simply have no time to set it up because my essential work is super busy and can't be squeezed into the half day I'm spending at the office (so that DH can telework from home).

[Anonymous]

All my sympathy here. I am a teacher and my husband is an administrator and we are both working remotely with our two young kids (3 and 6) at home. I am juggling five high school classes and the prep is killing me, it takes forever online, not to mention the usual grading. I feel like I work round the clock right now but I still don’t have it as tough as many of you are describing. My bosses are understanding and flexible and the community is really supportive of one another. I am appalled by what some of you describe...where is the humanity on the part of your bosses, seriously?? Hang in there, nothing but hugs and best wishes here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two choices: quit or hire help

We normally have a full time nanny but she is no longer coming since our school shut down due to a coronavirus case. Is there actually help to be found right now?

I would not risk my life for you or your child for any amount
Of money. Who the hell do you think you are!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two choices: quit or hire help

We normally have a full time nanny but she is no longer coming since our school shut down due to a coronavirus case. Is there actually help to be found right now?

I would not risk my life for you or your child for any amount
Of money. Who the hell do you think you are!

Calm down crazy lady. PP was responding to someone who suggested she hire help and she questioned whether there is even help to be found. No one is putting a gun to your head and forcing you to work right now.