“Full time mom”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest question to those who feel the phrase "Full-time mom" is a dig at WOHMs --- what word do you wish the "full-time moms" would use for themselves?

"I don't work."

This is weird.

People define themselves by what they do, not what they don’t do. When people ask you about your job, do you say “I’m not a doctor” or do you say “I’m an engineer.” It’s really strange to want SAHMS/full time moms to be the only ones to list what they don’t do for a living.

Agreed. What new circle of mom shaming hell is this when now SAHMs are the only who can claim full time mom? Even if you work outside the home you are still a full time mom. Once you have a child, you're a mom period; Not just part of the time, all of the time.

Can you still say you are a "full time mom" if you put her your kid in daycare part time to "get a break" or go to the gym, or if your child goes to preschool half or full day? Or what about when they go to elementary, middle or High school and you are alone for 8 hours a day. What about those "full time moms" that hire nannies or maids? Technically don't you become "just a housewife" because you are "outsourcing your childcare" or hiring someone else to help you in your home responsibilities? Either you own make money through employment outside the home or you don't. It's really that simple.

Amen.

[Anonymous]

Full-time mom is stupid. Let's not use it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest question to those who feel the phrase "Full-time mom" is a dig at WOHMs --- what word do you wish the "full-time moms" would use for themselves?

"I don't work."

This is weird.

People define themselves by what they do, not what they don’t do. When people ask you about your job, do you say “I’m not a doctor” or do you say “I’m an engineer.” It’s really strange to want SAHMS/full time moms to be the only ones to list what they don’t do for a living.

YOU DONT HAVE A JOB.

So being a childcare provider is not a job? Or is it just that if you don't get $$$ for what you do all day that you aren't allowed to say what you do.

I've been a SAHM, a WAH, and a WOHM mom. I don't care what you call me and I have no idea if I described it as "full time mom" vs "stay-at-home mom" or just "I'm home with the kids right now" in answer to the "what do you do" question. I WOHM now and don't feel criticized by someone who calls themselves a "full time mom" because I understand the semantics in our culture...mom is a relationship but it also encompasses the specific job of day-to-day childcare. So, yes, I am outsourcing some of my "mom-ing" when I'm at work all day. And that's OK, great even.

[Anonymous]

I am a SAHM to older children and I'm thrilled with my life. I feel so lucky to be in the position to do this. I couldn't care less what title anyone wants to use to describe it!

Since it was suggested earlier, I think I'll just start saying, "I don't work" and nothing more. I'll trust that the mature adults I meet who are secure with their own choices will already know that that doesn't mean my daily contributions or my life as a totality lacks meaning.

Everyone else can think whatever they like.

[Anonymous]

I’m a SAHM. I don’t use this phrase, but I’d take it to mean that the person doesn’t have any outside gig other than parenting. It’s not a dig, and it’s not an implication that those who work are part-time parents. It’s more a nod towards answering the question we sometimes get “What do you DO all day?” It means that the speaker fills their time with staying at home. Don’t overthink it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell me please —
Is this supposed to imply that moms who work are “part time” moms? Or is it just to tell the world that one is on full time duty? Maybe I’m being dense; just want to know if this is a dig....

Yes. While you are at work, someone else is parenting your child. That's fine. It's probably just their way of demanding that people stop disrespecting parents who aren't working for pay. Unless you are insecure about your own choices, this won't bother you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I truly think and hope it is not the case that "Any implication that SAHM/full time moms provide value to their families is personally offensive" to WOHMs.

But some of the posts here really do seem to come down to the message to SAHMs that they have no value.

I don't think anyone's saying they have no value. I think people are saying the term 'full time mom' is silly.

Anyone who is a mom is a mom full-time. Doesn't matter if she's with her kids physically or not.

Isn’t that true if any profession?

If you are a doctor/ teacher/ engineer, you don’t stop being one at the end of the day. But that doesn’t mean that everyone is full time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest question to those who feel the phrase "Full-time mom" is a dig at WOHMs --- what word do you wish the "full-time moms" would use for themselves?

"I don't work."

This is weird.

People define themselves by what they do, not what they don’t do. When people ask you about your job, do you say “I’m not a doctor” or do you say “I’m an engineer.” It’s really strange to want SAHMS/full time moms to be the only ones to list what they don’t do for a living.

Agreed. What new circle of mom shaming hell is this when now SAHMs are the only who can claim full time mom? Even if you work outside the home you are still a full time mom. Once you have a child, you're a mom period; Not just part of the time, all of the time.

Can you still say you are a "full time mom" if you put her your kid in daycare part time to "get a break" or go to the gym, or if your child goes to preschool half or full day? Or what about when they go to elementary, middle or High school and you are alone for 8 hours a day. What about those "full time moms" that hire nannies or maids? Technically don't you become "just a housewife" because you are "outsourcing your childcare" or hiring someone else to help you in your home responsibilities? Either you own make money through employment outside the home or you don't. It's really that simple.

Wow.

The level of insecurity is insane! Maybe stop obsessing about how other women choose to raise their children?

The fact remains, that while you may choose to define yourself by paid employment, other women do not. If someone asks me what I do, I’m going to answer honestly. Get therapy if that offends you so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell me please —
Is this supposed to imply that moms who work are “part time” moms? Or is it just to tell the world that one is on full time duty? Maybe I’m being dense; just want to know if this is a dig....

Yes. While you are at work, someone else is parenting your child. That's fine. It's probably just their way of demanding that people stop disrespecting parents who aren't working for pay. Unless you are insecure about your own choices, this won't bother you.

Unless you homeschool, then I guess we are all part time moms.

[Anonymous]

What a nasty and pointless post. Everyone has shit to deal with. Cut off annoying people from your life rather than go attacking fellow moms for their life choices.

[Anonymous]

Listen, every choice has a cost. Nothing comes without a price. SAHM/full time moms give up paid employment to spend more time with their children. WOHM give up time with their children for a career. These are facts.

There is no free lunch. Nobody does it all. Anyone trying to claim otherwise is delusional.

[Anonymous]

I WOH and this wouldn't bother me at all. It's a canned answer to a frequent question, and probably phrased that way because like some PP's have noted, they've been asked what they do all day or people have followed up with questions about part time work.

I think we all try to come up with easy and short answers to questions we get asked a lot - I've come up with a quick way to describe the type of law I practice that I find discourages further detailed questions (I don't want to talk about the case I'm working on at a party) and makes it clear I can't help explain why your cousin got partial custody even though her ex is a deadbeat. Another lawyer might think "that's a weird way to say 'antitrust'" but trust me I use my standard answer for a reason!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I truly think and hope it is not the case that "Any implication that SAHM/full time moms provide value to their families is personally offensive" to WOHMs.

But some of the posts here really do seem to come down to the message to SAHMs that they have no value.

I don't think anyone's saying they have no value. I think people are saying the term 'full time mom' is silly.

Anyone who is a mom is a mom full-time. Doesn't matter if she's with her kids physically or not.

It doesn't mean you stop being a mother, it just means that you aren't parenting full time. Just like if you are a lawyer, you aren't acting as a lawyer 24/7 but you are still a lawyer all the time. Full time parent just means that during the time that working parents are at their jobs, the full time parents are at home parenting.

It isn't valuing or devaluing anything. It isn't rocket science. If you are at home parenting, then you aren't at a paid job, and if you are at a paid job then you aren't a home parenting.

[Anonymous]

Eh. People who use the phrase are typically annoying, so just take it as the tell it is and go on with your day. It's not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Full-time mom is stupid. Let's not use it.

Working full time is stupid description too. let’s not use it either.