Best Meal to Bring New Mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meal trains are sexist. It’s assuming the man is unavailable to cook and help take care of his partner. Participating in a meal train is enabling the patriarchy and the unpaid labor performed by women. Instead of one woman cooking for another woman, the partner should step up and help take care of his family.

There are exceptions for women without a partner, disabilities, etc.

If your partner isn’t going to help provide you with food after the birth then you need to stay on birth control

I hate all the picky ass replies to this OP, but I am so totally agree with this.

My husband is the cook in the family. The meal train relieved him. I didn't want him cooking, I wanted him tending to me and the baby. And many of the meals were made by the men, although the train was organized and ran by my friends.

I literally don’t know what this means. Seriously what does “tending to you” mean? Bringing you glasses of water? Putting your feet up on a pillow? There really isn’t enough work for ONE baby that it requires two adults at the same time. Babies sleep A LOT (16 plus hours a day) and this is when you sleep or tend to housework.

I have never seen any sort of meal train or related support provided by men. Ever. Every email I have received has always been by women. Maybe the women are having their husbands do the cooking behind the scenes, but it’s always women organizing it. I have a husband who does 50/50 at home and he would never in my wildest dreams organize a meal train for a new mom.

Ok. So? And?

You are saying that because women organize to care for their friends' families, meal trains should not exist?

They should not be a thing because patriarchy?

They should be eliminated so as to force the new dad to cook?

Is that your point?

Yes, this. Instead of a new mom relying on other women providing unpaid labor, they should demand their spouse/partner steps up. Meal trains date back to a time when men didn’t cook or provide household meals. It’s almost 2020 and time to demand men contribute equally at home.

While I agree with this, I think that demanding that people put a stop to meal trains (LMAO) and force a dad of a newborn to cook to "teach" him to step up is um, not the most effective approach.

Why not? Women need to make it clear from day one that the DH needs to contribute to the household. A husband who can’t make dinner while his wife breastfeeds needs to be whipped into shape ASAP. The longer you let this go one the harder it gets to change roles.

That is a bizarre view. With a newborn in the house, all help is welcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meal trains are sexist. It’s assuming the man is unavailable to cook and help take care of his partner. Participating in a meal train is enabling the patriarchy and the unpaid labor performed by women. Instead of one woman cooking for another woman, the partner should step up and help take care of his family.

There are exceptions for women without a partner, disabilities, etc.

If your partner isn’t going to help provide you with food after the birth then you need to stay on birth control

I hate all the picky ass replies to this OP, but I am so totally agree with this.

My husband is the cook in the family. The meal train relieved him. I didn't want him cooking, I wanted him tending to me and the baby. And many of the meals were made by the men, although the train was organized and ran by my friends.

I literally don’t know what this means. Seriously what does “tending to you” mean? Bringing you glasses of water? Putting your feet up on a pillow? There really isn’t enough work for ONE baby that it requires two adults at the same time. Babies sleep A LOT (16 plus hours a day) and this is when you sleep or tend to housework.

I have never seen any sort of meal train or related support provided by men. Ever. Every email I have received has always been by women. Maybe the women are having their husbands do the cooking behind the scenes, but it’s always women organizing it. I have a husband who does 50/50 at home and he would never in my wildest dreams organize a meal train for a new mom.

Ok. So? And?

You are saying that because women organize to care for their friends' families, meal trains should not exist?

They should not be a thing because patriarchy?

They should be eliminated so as to force the new dad to cook?

Is that your point?

Yes, this. Instead of a new mom relying on other women providing unpaid labor, they should demand their spouse/partner steps up. Meal trains date back to a time when men didn’t cook or provide household meals. It’s almost 2020 and time to demand men contribute equally at home.

While I agree with this, I think that demanding that people put a stop to meal trains (LMAO) and force a dad of a newborn to cook to "teach" him to step up is um, not the most effective approach.

Why not? Women need to make it clear from day one that the DH needs to contribute to the household. A husband who can’t make dinner while his wife breastfeeds needs to be whipped into shape ASAP. The longer you let this go one the harder it gets to change roles.

That is a bizarre view. With a newborn in the house, all help is welcome.

Right?! And all of these posters assuming the men don't cook to begin with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bring a dozen bagels with a jar of peanut butter, a tub of cream cheese, a jar of pizza sauce, a bag of shredded mozzarella, some easy hand fruit, and some freezer bags.

Everything is fairly nonperishable ( I ask if they want me to slice and freeze any bagels before I leave) and can be eaten one handed at different times of day. A bagel with cream cheese or pb, or a pizza bagel, are super easy and gives some variety.

I like this idea! Just make sure they’re good bagels

How about just be sure to appreciate and be grateful someone brought you some food,! New mother's have months to prepare and freeze food. No need to bring anything.

If there was a recent power outage, the new mom may have lost months of food preparation. Happened with one of my good friends after a hurricane - the hospital told her to stay, since there was likely no power yet, my friend went home after verifying with her neighbors that power had been on all day. She returned home to find the main line on the street went out soon after their power was back on. She came home to think she had power, only to not have power, and all of the hotels were sold out since it had been a week without power. No water, as the local supply had been contaminated. All of the meals my friend lovingly prepared and stocked in her freezer over past weeks were long spoiled. Her DH had an issue (to put it mildly) with tossing out old/expired/not edible food, so she had to empty the freezer herself, because the house reeked from the spoiled fridge and freezer of food and it was so pungent, she was throwing up. She was recovering from major surgery, so I went over to help her restock. All this with her first newborn.

Not very likely to have all of these (one good, the rest bad) things happen at one time, but my friend was in a bad place with her DH doing everything BUT helping, so I was glad to be there for her, and she would do the same for me.

OP, "feel good" food is always welcome, especially if nursing. Depending on your audience, maybe a lasagna? With fresh bread and salad?

This is obviously a unique situation where the new mom really did need food.

However the new mom did herself a huge disservice doing the work of emptying the freezer and soliciting help from friends to restock their food items. DH learned really fast that he doesn’t have to step up in a time of need because his wife and even her friends will do his work! Can you imagine a man calling another man to help clean up his spoiled food items ?? Men need to step up and women need to demand accountability. The new mom should have gone upstairs and camped or far away from the kitchen. She should have focused on the baby, recovery and ordered food and water delivered until the DH got with the program.

Are you a troll? This is such a bizarre attitude. My DS’s preschool organized a meal train for us that was a lifesaver when my DD came along. DH split up housework 50/50 pre DD and he probably cooked close to 90% of the time after DD came along. This includes having breakfast waiting for me every morning, packing DS’s lunch ( which I used to do), and most dinner prep. The meal train was a huge help to us to help free up DH’s time so he could focus attention on our DS whose world had been turned upside down. Also so he could do laundry. Provide me a break so I could focus on our DS, etc. by the way, some men were the ones who signed up to deliver meal train meals. I do not get why you are so black and white on this and oddly hijacked this thread.

I don’t believe you that there were multiple men who signed up to cook you dinner and brought it to you. I just don’t.

Lol. Okay. Well I'm not going to share the link with you to prove it but it's true. I mean the men were still in the minority but there were at least 3 meals out of 7 that were either made by them or delivered by them or made in partnership (obviously we didn't do a survey when the food appeared so I'm making some assumptions...). Maybe we just run in a really great and supportive circle where the men have stepped it up from "day 1" as you put it. I doubt it's fully equal (I believe there's a study out there showing even when people perceive equality in the relationship, the women still does more of the caregiving and household chores) but the men are stepping up. My DH is even taking LWOP after my maternity leave ends as he did with my first so that we can try and equalize some of the child rearing and don't fall into the trap of me doing most of the child care even when I go back to work. This behavior isn't out of the ordinary in our circle but I do realize it's probably pretty different from how the average two-parent household experiences caregiving and household work.

[Anonymous]

14:18, you are a drama queen.. most women have babies, come home and cook, do laundry, with little or no help. MAYBE, the get their breakfast in bed on Mother's Day! You really are a PITA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:14:18, you are a drama queen.. most women have babies, come home and cook, do laundry, with little or no help. MAYBE, the get their breakfast in bed on Mother's Day! You really are a PITA.

Wait, how does this make me a drama queen and PITA? I could do it all and I'm not saying I can't. I obviously do do it all when DH is on work travel or working late/early. I don't force or nag my DH to do anything. It's a partnership. He's currently doing a lot of household stuff naturally because I am doing a lot of baby care. Once we're both back to work I'm sure it'll shift and we'll find another rhythm. Wow this thread has gone off the rails (and I realize I've been part of that). But between the idea that women should do it all because they've done it all historically and countless women before them have done it and still do it and the whole men need to step it up and meal trains just reinforce the patriarchy...I mean is the moon full or something today?

Anyways, OP I was happy to get literally any meal from someone. Especially things that were easy to heat up and eat one handed like pastas. I literally would've been happy with a box of granola bars/energy bars because sometimes I'd grab something like that for lunch if it was a particularly hard day with the baby. But seriously, I appreciated it all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:14:18, you are a drama queen.. most women have babies, come home and cook, do laundry, with little or no help. MAYBE, the get their breakfast in bed on Mother's Day! You really are a PITA.

Regardless of my what most women do, and acknowledging that I can in fact do it all, I certainly welcome help when it is offered. I also provide help to people when they need it. It’s part of being a community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:14:18, you are a drama queen.. most women have babies, come home and cook, do laundry, with little or no help. MAYBE, the get their breakfast in bed on Mother's Day! You really are a PITA.

Wait, how does this make me a drama queen and PITA? I could do it all and I'm not saying I can't. I obviously do do it all when DH is on work travel or working late/early. I don't force or nag my DH to do anything. It's a partnership. He's currently doing a lot of household stuff naturally because I am doing a lot of baby care. Once we're both back to work I'm sure it'll shift and we'll find another rhythm. Wow this thread has gone off the rails (and I realize I've been part of that). But between the idea that women should do it all because they've done it all historically and countless women before them have done it and still do it and the whole men need to step it up and meal trains just reinforce the patriarchy...I mean is the moon full or something today?

Anyways, OP I was happy to get literally any meal from someone. Especially things that were easy to heat up and eat one handed like pastas. I literally would've been happy with a box of granola bars/energy bars because sometimes I'd grab something like that for lunch if it was a particularly hard day with the baby. But seriously, I appreciated it all.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bring a dozen bagels with a jar of peanut butter, a tub of cream cheese, a jar of pizza sauce, a bag of shredded mozzarella, some easy hand fruit, and some freezer bags.

Everything is fairly nonperishable ( I ask if they want me to slice and freeze any bagels before I leave) and can be eaten one handed at different times of day. A bagel with cream cheese or pb, or a pizza bagel, are super easy and gives some variety.

I like this idea! Just make sure they’re good bagels

How about just be sure to appreciate and be grateful someone brought you some food,! New mother's have months to prepare and freeze food. No need to bring anything.

If there was a recent power outage, the new mom may have lost months of food preparation. Happened with one of my good friends after a hurricane - the hospital told her to stay, since there was likely no power yet, my friend went home after verifying with her neighbors that power had been on all day. She returned home to find the main line on the street went out soon after their power was back on. She came home to think she had power, only to not have power, and all of the hotels were sold out since it had been a week without power. No water, as the local supply had been contaminated. All of the meals my friend lovingly prepared and stocked in her freezer over past weeks were long spoiled. Her DH had an issue (to put it mildly) with tossing out old/expired/not edible food, so she had to empty the freezer herself, because the house reeked from the spoiled fridge and freezer of food and it was so pungent, she was throwing up. She was recovering from major surgery, so I went over to help her restock. All this with her first newborn.

Not very likely to have all of these (one good, the rest bad) things happen at one time, but my friend was in a bad place with her DH doing everything BUT helping, so I was glad to be there for her, and she would do the same for me.

OP, "feel good" food is always welcome, especially if nursing. Depending on your audience, maybe a lasagna? With fresh bread and salad?

This is obviously a unique situation where the new mom really did need food.

However the new mom did herself a huge disservice doing the work of emptying the freezer and soliciting help from friends to restock their food items. DH learned really fast that he doesn’t have to step up in a time of need because his wife and even her friends will do his work! Can you imagine a man calling another man to help clean up his spoiled food items ?? Men need to step up and women need to demand accountability. The new mom should have gone upstairs and camped or far away from the kitchen. She should have focused on the baby, recovery and ordered food and water delivered until the DH got with the program.

Well, her stubborn DH with issues was not about to empty the freezer, and my friend was throwing up from the stench (one week without power) - so yeah, I helped her. I blame the DH's Depression era mother for the crazy, but I wasn't about to get into it- with my friend trying to heal ,and trying to eat, and trying to clean up, and acclimate, all at the same time. That is what friends do. Some DH's suck. If you have a helpful DH, be thankful - but that gives you absolutely no right to judge anyone else. Just be grateful and know when to shut it. You are probably the type with all sorts fo family help, and too stupid to know that not everyone has that. Either that, or you are a complete troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meal trains are sexist. It’s assuming the man is unavailable to cook and help take care of his partner. Participating in a meal train is enabling the patriarchy and the unpaid labor performed by women. Instead of one woman cooking for another woman, the partner should step up and help take care of his family.

There are exceptions for women without a partner, disabilities, etc.

If your partner isn’t going to help provide you with food after the birth then you need to stay on birth control

I hate all the picky ass replies to this OP, but I am so totally agree with this.

My husband is the cook in the family. The meal train relieved him. I didn't want him cooking, I wanted him tending to me and the baby. And many of the meals were made by the men, although the train was organized and ran by my friends.

I literally don’t know what this means. Seriously what does “tending to you” mean? Bringing you glasses of water? Putting your feet up on a pillow? There really isn’t enough work for ONE baby that it requires two adults at the same time. Babies sleep A LOT (16 plus hours a day) and this is when you sleep or tend to housework.

I have never seen any sort of meal train or related support provided by men. Ever. Every email I have received has always been by women. Maybe the women are having their husbands do the cooking behind the scenes, but it’s always women organizing it. I have a husband who does 50/50 at home and he would never in my wildest dreams organize a meal train for a new mom.

Ok. So? And?

You are saying that because women organize to care for their friends' families, meal trains should not exist?

They should not be a thing because patriarchy?

They should be eliminated so as to force the new dad to cook?

Is that your point?

Yes, this. Instead of a new mom relying on other women providing unpaid labor, they should demand their spouse/partner steps up. Meal trains date back to a time when men didn’t cook or provide household meals. It’s almost 2020 and time to demand men contribute equally at home.

While I agree with this, I think that demanding that people put a stop to meal trains (LMAO) and force a dad of a newborn to cook to "teach" him to step up is um, not the most effective approach.

Why not? Women need to make it clear from day one that the DH needs to contribute to the household. A husband who can’t make dinner while his wife breastfeeds needs to be whipped into shape ASAP. The longer you let this go one the harder it gets to change roles.

That is a bizarre view. With a newborn in the house, all help is welcome.

A new born sleeps, eats, and needs a diaper change. This is job of mother. Spouse should be able to cope with food, laundry, etc.
If you need a cook, hire one. Same with extra help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:14:18, you are a drama queen.. most women have babies, come home and cook, do laundry, with little or no help. MAYBE, the get their breakfast in bed on Mother's Day! You really are a PITA.

Wait, how does this make me a drama queen and PITA? I could do it all and I'm not saying I can't. I obviously do do it all when DH is on work travel or working late/early. I don't force or nag my DH to do anything. It's a partnership. He's currently doing a lot of household stuff naturally because I am doing a lot of baby care. Once we're both back to work I'm sure it'll shift and we'll find another rhythm. Wow this thread has gone off the rails (and I realize I've been part of that). But between the idea that women should do it all because they've done it all historically and countless women before them have done it and still do it and the whole men need to step it up and meal trains just reinforce the patriarchy...I mean is the moon full or something today?

Anyways, OP I was happy to get literally any meal from someone. Especially things that were easy to heat up and eat one handed like pastas. I literally would've been happy with a box of granola bars/energy bars because sometimes I'd grab something like that for lunch if it was a particularly hard day with the baby. But seriously, I appreciated it all.

Then do it all and shut up. You are not a new mom if this is not your first child and you should know by this time around what you need. You are lazy and entitled just like 99% OF all DCUM women who think they've done something special by having a baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:14:18, you are a drama queen.. most women have babies, come home and cook, do laundry, with little or no help. MAYBE, the get their breakfast in bed on Mother's Day! You really are a PITA.

Wait, how does this make me a drama queen and PITA? I could do it all and I'm not saying I can't. I obviously do do it all when DH is on work travel or working late/early. I don't force or nag my DH to do anything. It's a partnership. He's currently doing a lot of household stuff naturally because I am doing a lot of baby care. Once we're both back to work I'm sure it'll shift and we'll find another rhythm. Wow this thread has gone off the rails (and I realize I've been part of that). But between the idea that women should do it all because they've done it all historically and countless women before them have done it and still do it and the whole men need to step it up and meal trains just reinforce the patriarchy...I mean is the moon full or something today?

Anyways, OP I was happy to get literally any meal from someone. Especially things that were easy to heat up and eat one handed like pastas. I literally would've been happy with a box of granola bars/energy bars because sometimes I'd grab something like that for lunch if it was a particularly hard day with the baby. But seriously, I appreciated it all.

Then do it all and shut up. You are not a new mom if this is not your first child and you should know by this time around what you need. You are lazy and entitled just like 99% OF all DCUM women who think they've done something special by having a baby.

I am happy to make my friends a meal when they have a baby. Most recently I did it for my friend who had her fourth. Of course she knows what to expect. She still appreciated the help, as did her husband. This is what normal functioning humans with friends do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meal trains are sexist. It’s assuming the man is unavailable to cook and help take care of his partner. Participating in a meal train is enabling the patriarchy and the unpaid labor performed by women. Instead of one woman cooking for another woman, the partner should step up and help take care of his family.

There are exceptions for women without a partner, disabilities, etc.

If your partner isn’t going to help provide you with food after the birth then you need to stay on birth control

I hate all the picky ass replies to this OP, but I am so totally agree with this.

My husband is the cook in the family. The meal train relieved him. I didn't want him cooking, I wanted him tending to me and the baby. And many of the meals were made by the men, although the train was organized and ran by my friends.

I literally don’t know what this means. Seriously what does “tending to you” mean? Bringing you glasses of water? Putting your feet up on a pillow? There really isn’t enough work for ONE baby that it requires two adults at the same time. Babies sleep A LOT (16 plus hours a day) and this is when you sleep or tend to housework.

I have never seen any sort of meal train or related support provided by men. Ever. Every email I have received has always been by women. Maybe the women are having their husbands do the cooking behind the scenes, but it’s always women organizing it. I have a husband who does 50/50 at home and he would never in my wildest dreams organize a meal train for a new mom.

Ok. So? And?

You are saying that because women organize to care for their friends' families, meal trains should not exist?

They should not be a thing because patriarchy?

They should be eliminated so as to force the new dad to cook?

Is that your point?

Yes, this. Instead of a new mom relying on other women providing unpaid labor, they should demand their spouse/partner steps up. Meal trains date back to a time when men didn’t cook or provide household meals. It’s almost 2020 and time to demand men contribute equally at home.

While I agree with this, I think that demanding that people put a stop to meal trains (LMAO) and force a dad of a newborn to cook to "teach" him to step up is um, not the most effective approach.

Why not? Women need to make it clear from day one that the DH needs to contribute to the household. A husband who can’t make dinner while his wife breastfeeds needs to be whipped into shape ASAP. The longer you let this go one the harder it gets to change roles.

That is a bizarre view. With a newborn in the house, all help is welcome.

A new born sleeps, eats, and needs a diaper change. This is job of mother. Spouse should be able to cope with food, laundry, etc.
If you need a cook, hire one. Same with extra help.

You should contact your state representative and request that they introduce a bill to outlaw meal trains.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband CAN cook, but if he's cooking and doing all the dishes after he gets home from work I'm responsible for keeping track of the older kid, bathing, and getting him to bed as well as taking care of the newborn. Which may be the new normal we have to adjust tk, but when the newborn is cluster feeding every hour in the evening right now, I literally don't have enough hands. Freeing up half an hour to an hour of my husband's time from cooking is a godsend.

Ever hear of crock pots or slow cookers? I made a huge pot of beef stew on Friday with enough to give to elderly couple next door for two meals. You and your husband should have thought of these things prior to you getting pregnant. Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency for anyone else. In this day and age there is no excuse for meal trains. Call for carry-out.

np There may be no need for it but, it is a long tradition in community! The community of family and friends are welcoming a new member to the community and doing so by supporting the family. It isn't about the food per say. It is an expression of LOVE.

Maybe you need more love and caring.

Who prepares before they get pregnant?

People who are organized and use their brains for something other than a hat rack! I cook large amounts of chili (both meat and lentil) and put in large cupcake pans, freeze,and later put on freezer bags. I do the same with spaghetti sauce, lasagna, meatloaf. It's easy. Nine months is ample time to cook and freeze meals for post birth use.

Calm down. No one is saying meal trains are owed and we don’t have a lot of friends/family here so we haven’t really been part of one. But here is why you could be unprepared. My first arrived 4 weeks early literally right before Labor Day weekend when I had planned to make a bunch of freezer meals. A few neighbors dropped off food with salad and bread which we were unbelievably grateful for as our fridge was empty, we didn’t yet have Instacart, and were generally a little overwhelmed as first time parents. The second time around baby 2 was again almost 4 weeks early and we made full use of Instacart/uber eats as needed. But It was even harder with the older one, as that left very little time for advance meal prepping and a clingy toddler who didn’t understand why there was a new baby that cried a lot.

You didn't know you were pregnant six months earlier? Frozen food can, if properly stored, keeps for a long time with no freezer burn.

Not interested in eating six month old food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meal trains are sexist. It’s assuming the man is unavailable to cook and help take care of his partner. Participating in a meal train is enabling the patriarchy and the unpaid labor performed by women. Instead of one woman cooking for another woman, the partner should step up and help take care of his family.

There are exceptions for women without a partner, disabilities, etc.

If your partner isn’t going to help provide you with food after the birth then you need to stay on birth control

I hate all the picky ass replies to this OP, but I am so totally agree with this.

My husband is the cook in the family. The meal train relieved him. I didn't want him cooking, I wanted him tending to me and the baby. And many of the meals were made by the men, although the train was organized and ran by my friends.

I literally don’t know what this means. Seriously what does “tending to you” mean? Bringing you glasses of water? Putting your feet up on a pillow? There really isn’t enough work for ONE baby that it requires two adults at the same time. Babies sleep A LOT (16 plus hours a day) and this is when you sleep or tend to housework.

I have never seen any sort of meal train or related support provided by men. Ever. Every email I have received has always been by women. Maybe the women are having their husbands do the cooking behind the scenes, but it’s always women organizing it. I have a husband who does 50/50 at home and he would never in my wildest dreams organize a meal train for a new mom.

Ok. So? And?

You are saying that because women organize to care for their friends' families, meal trains should not exist?

They should not be a thing because patriarchy?

They should be eliminated so as to force the new dad to cook?

Is that your point?

Yes, this. Instead of a new mom relying on other women providing unpaid labor, they should demand their spouse/partner steps up. Meal trains date back to a time when men didn’t cook or provide household meals. It’s almost 2020 and time to demand men contribute equally at home.

While I agree with this, I think that demanding that people put a stop to meal trains (LMAO) and force a dad of a newborn to cook to "teach" him to step up is um, not the most effective approach.

Why not? Women need to make it clear from day one that the DH needs to contribute to the household. A husband who can’t make dinner while his wife breastfeeds needs to be whipped into shape ASAP. The longer you let this go one the harder it gets to change roles.

Jesus lady, I’m a staunch feminist too but the reality is my husband is a shitty Cook who basically can make sandwiches and scrambled eggs and Kraft mac n cheese. When I had my ds we were both in holy shit what do we do mode and I would not have wanted to be left alone with a screaming baby so my husband could learn to cook. There’s plenty of ways a new Dad can pull his weight but cooking isn’t the end all be all? Not sure why this is your hill to die on

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meal trains are sexist. It’s assuming the man is unavailable to cook and help take care of his partner. Participating in a meal train is enabling the patriarchy and the unpaid labor performed by women. Instead of one woman cooking for another woman, the partner should step up and help take care of his family.

There are exceptions for women without a partner, disabilities, etc.

If your partner isn’t going to help provide you with food after the birth then you need to stay on birth control

I hate all the picky ass replies to this OP, but I am so totally agree with this.

My husband is the cook in the family. The meal train relieved him. I didn't want him cooking, I wanted him tending to me and the baby. And many of the meals were made by the men, although the train was organized and ran by my friends.

I literally don’t know what this means. Seriously what does “tending to you” mean? Bringing you glasses of water? Putting your feet up on a pillow? There really isn’t enough work for ONE baby that it requires two adults at the same time. Babies sleep A LOT (16 plus hours a day) and this is when you sleep or tend to housework.

I have never seen any sort of meal train or related support provided by men. Ever. Every email I have received has always been by women. Maybe the women are having their husbands do the cooking behind the scenes, but it’s always women organizing it. I have a husband who does 50/50 at home and he would never in my wildest dreams organize a meal train for a new mom.

Ok. So? And?

You are saying that because women organize to care for their friends' families, meal trains should not exist?

They should not be a thing because patriarchy?

They should be eliminated so as to force the new dad to cook?

Is that your point?

Yes, this. Instead of a new mom relying on other women providing unpaid labor, they should demand their spouse/partner steps up. Meal trains date back to a time when men didn’t cook or provide household meals. It’s almost 2020 and time to demand men contribute equally at home.

While I agree with this, I think that demanding that people put a stop to meal trains (LMAO) and force a dad of a newborn to cook to "teach" him to step up is um, not the most effective approach.

Why not? Women need to make it clear from day one that the DH needs to contribute to the household. A husband who can’t make dinner while his wife breastfeeds needs to be whipped into shape ASAP. The longer you let this go one the harder it gets to change roles.

That is a bizarre view. With a newborn in the house, all help is welcome.

A new born sleeps, eats, and needs a diaper change. This is job of mother. Spouse should be able to cope with food, laundry, etc.
If you need a cook, hire one. Same with extra help.

"Friends, family, and community are for entitled or incompetent LOSERS. Successful bootstrappers only interface with other humans if an exchange of cash is involved." What a world to live in.