Best Meal to Bring New Mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And yes - I really needed meals. Not snacks. My husband and my older kid needed to eat too.

Your husband is so helpless that he can't cook a meal for you and other children,?! Absolutely ludicrous.

+1

Or figure out how the DoorDash app works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband CAN cook, but if he's cooking and doing all the dishes after he gets home from work I'm responsible for keeping track of the older kid, bathing, and getting him to bed as well as taking care of the newborn. Which may be the new normal we have to adjust tk, but when the newborn is cluster feeding every hour in the evening right now, I literally don't have enough hands. Freeing up half an hour to an hour of my husband's time from cooking is a godsend.

Ever hear of crock pots or slow cookers? I made a huge pot of beef stew on Friday with enough to give to elderly couple next door for two meals. You and your husband should have thought of these things prior to you getting pregnant. Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency for anyone else. In this day and age there is no excuse for meal trains. Call for carry-out.

It's hilarious that you are equating community support with new parent-incompetence and moral rectitude.

A meal train is not an "emergency." It is a voluntary community effort to support new parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband CAN cook, but if he's cooking and doing all the dishes after he gets home from work I'm responsible for keeping track of the older kid, bathing, and getting him to bed as well as taking care of the newborn. Which may be the new normal we have to adjust tk, but when the newborn is cluster feeding every hour in the evening right now, I literally don't have enough hands. Freeing up half an hour to an hour of my husband's time from cooking is a godsend.

Ever hear of crock pots or slow cookers? I made a huge pot of beef stew on Friday with enough to give to elderly couple next door for two meals. You and your husband should have thought of these things prior to you getting pregnant. Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency for anyone else. In this day and age there is no excuse for meal trains. Call for carry-out.

np There may be no need for it but, it is a long tradition in community! The community of family and friends are welcoming a new member to the community and doing so by supporting the family. It isn't about the food per say. It is an expression of LOVE.

Maybe you need more love and caring.

Who prepares before they get pregnant?

People who are organized and use their brains for something other than a hat rack! I cook large amounts of chili (both meat and lentil) and put in large cupcake pans, freeze,and later put on freezer bags. I do the same with spaghetti sauce, lasagna, meatloaf. It's easy. Nine months is ample time to cook and freeze meals for post birth use.

Nine months is probably too long, actually. I don't want food that's been in the freezer for a year.

Meal train food is good, too. Since it's freshly-made, it's probably far better than anything you pull out of your freezer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meal trains are sexist. It’s assuming the man is unavailable to cook and help take care of his partner. Participating in a meal train is enabling the patriarchy and the unpaid labor performed by women. Instead of one woman cooking for another woman, the partner should step up and help take care of his family.

There are exceptions for women without a partner, disabilities, etc.

If your partner isn’t going to help provide you with food after the birth then you need to stay on birth control

I hate all the picky ass replies to this OP, but I am so totally agree with this.

My husband is the cook in the family. The meal train relieved him. I didn't want him cooking, I wanted him tending to me and the baby. And many of the meals were made by the men, although the train was organized and ran by my friends.

I literally don’t know what this means. Seriously what does “tending to you” mean? Bringing you glasses of water? Putting your feet up on a pillow? There really isn’t enough work for ONE baby that it requires two adults at the same time. Babies sleep A LOT (16 plus hours a day) and this is when you sleep or tend to housework.

I have never seen any sort of meal train or related support provided by men. Ever. Every email I have received has always been by women. Maybe the women are having their husbands do the cooking behind the scenes, but it’s always women organizing it. I have a husband who does 50/50 at home and he would never in my wildest dreams organize a meal train for a new mom.

Ok. So? And?

You are saying that because women organize to care for their friends' families, meal trains should not exist?

They should not be a thing because patriarchy?

They should be eliminated so as to force the new dad to cook?

Is that your point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And yes - I really needed meals. Not snacks. My husband and my older kid needed to eat too.

Your husband is so helpless that he can't cook a meal for you and other children,?! Absolutely ludicrous.

My husband is not helpless, but right now my baby is cluster feeding for hours every evening so I'm basically useless for house and kid stuff after he gets home from work, and it's nice for him to be able to do laundry and dishes and hang out with our older kid before bedtime instead of cooking every night. I was not expecting how hard it would be to find time to cook in the early weeks, but with multiple kids time and parental attention are limited and full meals are incredibly helpful.

PS last night husband's best friend drove all the way from Frederick with a big pot of spaghetti sauce and meatballs, a quiche, a bottle of wine, and some cookies. They are total MVPs.

That's amazing, so thoughtful!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meal trains are sexist. It’s assuming the man is unavailable to cook and help take care of his partner. Participating in a meal train is enabling the patriarchy and the unpaid labor performed by women. Instead of one woman cooking for another woman, the partner should step up and help take care of his family.

There are exceptions for women without a partner, disabilities, etc.

If your partner isn’t going to help provide you with food after the birth then you need to stay on birth control

I hate all the picky ass replies to this OP, but I am so totally agree with this.

My husband is the cook in the family. The meal train relieved him. I didn't want him cooking, I wanted him tending to me and the baby. And many of the meals were made by the men, although the train was organized and ran by my friends.

I literally don’t know what this means. Seriously what does “tending to you” mean? Bringing you glasses of water? Putting your feet up on a pillow? There really isn’t enough work for ONE baby that it requires two adults at the same time. Babies sleep A LOT (16 plus hours a day) and this is when you sleep or tend to housework.

I have never seen any sort of meal train or related support provided by men. Ever. Every email I have received has always been by women. Maybe the women are having their husbands do the cooking behind the scenes, but it’s always women organizing it. I have a husband who does 50/50 at home and he would never in my wildest dreams organize a meal train for a new mom.

Ok. So? And?

You are saying that because women organize to care for their friends' families, meal trains should not exist?

They should not be a thing because patriarchy?

They should be eliminated so as to force the new dad to cook?

Is that your point?

Yes, this. Instead of a new mom relying on other women providing unpaid labor, they should demand their spouse/partner steps up. Meal trains date back to a time when men didn’t cook or provide household meals. It’s almost 2020 and time to demand men contribute equally at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband CAN cook, but if he's cooking and doing all the dishes after he gets home from work I'm responsible for keeping track of the older kid, bathing, and getting him to bed as well as taking care of the newborn. Which may be the new normal we have to adjust tk, but when the newborn is cluster feeding every hour in the evening right now, I literally don't have enough hands. Freeing up half an hour to an hour of my husband's time from cooking is a godsend.

Ever hear of crock pots or slow cookers? I made a huge pot of beef stew on Friday with enough to give to elderly couple next door for two meals. You and your husband should have thought of these things prior to you getting pregnant. Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency for anyone else. In this day and age there is no excuse for meal trains. Call for carry-out.

I cooked and froze quite a few meals, thanks, and i too make things for others like neighbors whose house flooded this summer. The handful of meals volunteered by friends were still lovely gestures at a crazy and busy time. I dont really get where the anger here is coming from, can you explain why it upsets you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meal trains are sexist. It’s assuming the man is unavailable to cook and help take care of his partner. Participating in a meal train is enabling the patriarchy and the unpaid labor performed by women. Instead of one woman cooking for another woman, the partner should step up and help take care of his family.

There are exceptions for women without a partner, disabilities, etc.

If your partner isn’t going to help provide you with food after the birth then you need to stay on birth control

I hate all the picky ass replies to this OP, but I am so totally agree with this.

My husband is the cook in the family. The meal train relieved him. I didn't want him cooking, I wanted him tending to me and the baby. And many of the meals were made by the men, although the train was organized and ran by my friends.

I literally don’t know what this means. Seriously what does “tending to you” mean? Bringing you glasses of water? Putting your feet up on a pillow? There really isn’t enough work for ONE baby that it requires two adults at the same time. Babies sleep A LOT (16 plus hours a day) and this is when you sleep or tend to housework.

I have never seen any sort of meal train or related support provided by men. Ever. Every email I have received has always been by women. Maybe the women are having their husbands do the cooking behind the scenes, but it’s always women organizing it. I have a husband who does 50/50 at home and he would never in my wildest dreams organize a meal train for a new mom.

Ok. So? And?

You are saying that because women organize to care for their friends' families, meal trains should not exist?

They should not be a thing because patriarchy?

They should be eliminated so as to force the new dad to cook?

Is that your point?

Yes, this. Instead of a new mom relying on other women providing unpaid labor, they should demand their spouse/partner steps up. Meal trains date back to a time when men didn’t cook or provide household meals. It’s almost 2020 and time to demand men contribute equally at home.

While I agree with this, I think that demanding that people put a stop to meal trains (LMAO) and force a dad of a newborn to cook to "teach" him to step up is um, not the most effective approach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband CAN cook, but if he's cooking and doing all the dishes after he gets home from work I'm responsible for keeping track of the older kid, bathing, and getting him to bed as well as taking care of the newborn. Which may be the new normal we have to adjust tk, but when the newborn is cluster feeding every hour in the evening right now, I literally don't have enough hands. Freeing up half an hour to an hour of my husband's time from cooking is a godsend.

Ever hear of crock pots or slow cookers? I made a huge pot of beef stew on Friday with enough to give to elderly couple next door for two meals. You and your husband should have thought of these things prior to you getting pregnant. Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency for anyone else. In this day and age there is no excuse for meal trains. Call for carry-out.

I cooked and froze quite a few meals, thanks, and i too make things for others like neighbors whose house flooded this summer. The handful of meals volunteered by friends were still lovely gestures at a crazy and busy time. I dont really get where the anger here is coming from, can you explain why it upsets you?

+1

The anger is bizarre.

Am I supposed to be sorry (?) for making a roasted chicken for my friend's family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bring a dozen bagels with a jar of peanut butter, a tub of cream cheese, a jar of pizza sauce, a bag of shredded mozzarella, some easy hand fruit, and some freezer bags.

Everything is fairly nonperishable ( I ask if they want me to slice and freeze any bagels before I leave) and can be eaten one handed at different times of day. A bagel with cream cheese or pb, or a pizza bagel, are super easy and gives some variety.

I like this idea! Just make sure they’re good bagels

How about just be sure to appreciate and be grateful someone brought you some food,! New mother's have months to prepare and freeze food. No need to bring anything.

If there was a recent power outage, the new mom may have lost months of food preparation. Happened with one of my good friends after a hurricane - the hospital told her to stay, since there was likely no power yet, my friend went home after verifying with her neighbors that power had been on all day. She returned home to find the main line on the street went out soon after their power was back on. She came home to think she had power, only to not have power, and all of the hotels were sold out since it had been a week without power. No water, as the local supply had been contaminated. All of the meals my friend lovingly prepared and stocked in her freezer over past weeks were long spoiled. Her DH had an issue (to put it mildly) with tossing out old/expired/not edible food, so she had to empty the freezer herself, because the house reeked from the spoiled fridge and freezer of food and it was so pungent, she was throwing up. She was recovering from major surgery, so I went over to help her restock. All this with her first newborn.

Not very likely to have all of these (one good, the rest bad) things happen at one time, but my friend was in a bad place with her DH doing everything BUT helping, so I was glad to be there for her, and she would do the same for me.

OP, "feel good" food is always welcome, especially if nursing. Depending on your audience, maybe a lasagna? With fresh bread and salad?

[Anonymous]

To add, I agree that men should help. My friend has such a high maintenance PITA (insecure?) DH, he was not going be much help. All she really need was to be fed, and for someone to help her out with that a bit.

In this day and age, more people call for take out/delivery, so that certainly helps. Takeout/delivery was not as "mainstream" back then; and her DH wants accolades the few times she asks him to go to the grocery. I am thinking she did not know that he would compete for her attention when the baby came. Bet that was a shocker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meal trains are sexist. It’s assuming the man is unavailable to cook and help take care of his partner. Participating in a meal train is enabling the patriarchy and the unpaid labor performed by women. Instead of one woman cooking for another woman, the partner should step up and help take care of his family.

There are exceptions for women without a partner, disabilities, etc.

If your partner isn’t going to help provide you with food after the birth then you need to stay on birth control

I hate all the picky ass replies to this OP, but I am so totally agree with this.

My husband is the cook in the family. The meal train relieved him. I didn't want him cooking, I wanted him tending to me and the baby. And many of the meals were made by the men, although the train was organized and ran by my friends.

I literally don’t know what this means. Seriously what does “tending to you” mean? Bringing you glasses of water? Putting your feet up on a pillow? There really isn’t enough work for ONE baby that it requires two adults at the same time. Babies sleep A LOT (16 plus hours a day) and this is when you sleep or tend to housework.

I have never seen any sort of meal train or related support provided by men. Ever. Every email I have received has always been by women. Maybe the women are having their husbands do the cooking behind the scenes, but it’s always women organizing it. I have a husband who does 50/50 at home and he would never in my wildest dreams organize a meal train for a new mom.

Ok. So? And?

You are saying that because women organize to care for their friends' families, meal trains should not exist?

They should not be a thing because patriarchy?

They should be eliminated so as to force the new dad to cook?

Is that your point?

Yes, this. Instead of a new mom relying on other women providing unpaid labor, they should demand their spouse/partner steps up. Meal trains date back to a time when men didn’t cook or provide household meals. It’s almost 2020 and time to demand men contribute equally at home.

While I agree with this, I think that demanding that people put a stop to meal trains (LMAO) and force a dad of a newborn to cook to "teach" him to step up is um, not the most effective approach.

Why not? Women need to make it clear from day one that the DH needs to contribute to the household. A husband who can’t make dinner while his wife breastfeeds needs to be whipped into shape ASAP. The longer you let this go one the harder it gets to change roles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bring a dozen bagels with a jar of peanut butter, a tub of cream cheese, a jar of pizza sauce, a bag of shredded mozzarella, some easy hand fruit, and some freezer bags.

Everything is fairly nonperishable ( I ask if they want me to slice and freeze any bagels before I leave) and can be eaten one handed at different times of day. A bagel with cream cheese or pb, or a pizza bagel, are super easy and gives some variety.

I like this idea! Just make sure they’re good bagels

How about just be sure to appreciate and be grateful someone brought you some food,! New mother's have months to prepare and freeze food. No need to bring anything.

If there was a recent power outage, the new mom may have lost months of food preparation. Happened with one of my good friends after a hurricane - the hospital told her to stay, since there was likely no power yet, my friend went home after verifying with her neighbors that power had been on all day. She returned home to find the main line on the street went out soon after their power was back on. She came home to think she had power, only to not have power, and all of the hotels were sold out since it had been a week without power. No water, as the local supply had been contaminated. All of the meals my friend lovingly prepared and stocked in her freezer over past weeks were long spoiled. Her DH had an issue (to put it mildly) with tossing out old/expired/not edible food, so she had to empty the freezer herself, because the house reeked from the spoiled fridge and freezer of food and it was so pungent, she was throwing up. She was recovering from major surgery, so I went over to help her restock. All this with her first newborn.

Not very likely to have all of these (one good, the rest bad) things happen at one time, but my friend was in a bad place with her DH doing everything BUT helping, so I was glad to be there for her, and she would do the same for me.

OP, "feel good" food is always welcome, especially if nursing. Depending on your audience, maybe a lasagna? With fresh bread and salad?

This is obviously a unique situation where the new mom really did need food.

However the new mom did herself a huge disservice doing the work of emptying the freezer and soliciting help from friends to restock their food items. DH learned really fast that he doesn’t have to step up in a time of need because his wife and even her friends will do his work! Can you imagine a man calling another man to help clean up his spoiled food items ?? Men need to step up and women need to demand accountability. The new mom should have gone upstairs and camped or far away from the kitchen. She should have focused on the baby, recovery and ordered food and water delivered until the DH got with the program.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bring a dozen bagels with a jar of peanut butter, a tub of cream cheese, a jar of pizza sauce, a bag of shredded mozzarella, some easy hand fruit, and some freezer bags.

Everything is fairly nonperishable ( I ask if they want me to slice and freeze any bagels before I leave) and can be eaten one handed at different times of day. A bagel with cream cheese or pb, or a pizza bagel, are super easy and gives some variety.

I like this idea! Just make sure they’re good bagels

How about just be sure to appreciate and be grateful someone brought you some food,! New mother's have months to prepare and freeze food. No need to bring anything.

If there was a recent power outage, the new mom may have lost months of food preparation. Happened with one of my good friends after a hurricane - the hospital told her to stay, since there was likely no power yet, my friend went home after verifying with her neighbors that power had been on all day. She returned home to find the main line on the street went out soon after their power was back on. She came home to think she had power, only to not have power, and all of the hotels were sold out since it had been a week without power. No water, as the local supply had been contaminated. All of the meals my friend lovingly prepared and stocked in her freezer over past weeks were long spoiled. Her DH had an issue (to put it mildly) with tossing out old/expired/not edible food, so she had to empty the freezer herself, because the house reeked from the spoiled fridge and freezer of food and it was so pungent, she was throwing up. She was recovering from major surgery, so I went over to help her restock. All this with her first newborn.

Not very likely to have all of these (one good, the rest bad) things happen at one time, but my friend was in a bad place with her DH doing everything BUT helping, so I was glad to be there for her, and she would do the same for me.

OP, "feel good" food is always welcome, especially if nursing. Depending on your audience, maybe a lasagna? With fresh bread and salad?

This is obviously a unique situation where the new mom really did need food.

However the new mom did herself a huge disservice doing the work of emptying the freezer and soliciting help from friends to restock their food items. DH learned really fast that he doesn’t have to step up in a time of need because his wife and even her friends will do his work! Can you imagine a man calling another man to help clean up his spoiled food items ?? Men need to step up and women need to demand accountability. The new mom should have gone upstairs and camped or far away from the kitchen. She should have focused on the baby, recovery and ordered food and water delivered until the DH got with the program.

Are you a troll? This is such a bizarre attitude. My DS’s preschool organized a meal train for us that was a lifesaver when my DD came along. DH split up housework 50/50 pre DD and he probably cooked close to 90% of the time after DD came along. This includes having breakfast waiting for me every morning, packing DS’s lunch ( which I used to do), and most dinner prep. The meal train was a huge help to us to help free up DH’s time so he could focus attention on our DS whose world had been turned upside down. Also so he could do laundry. Provide me a break so I could focus on our DS, etc. by the way, some men were the ones who signed up to deliver meal train meals. I do not get why you are so black and white on this and oddly hijacked this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bring a dozen bagels with a jar of peanut butter, a tub of cream cheese, a jar of pizza sauce, a bag of shredded mozzarella, some easy hand fruit, and some freezer bags.

Everything is fairly nonperishable ( I ask if they want me to slice and freeze any bagels before I leave) and can be eaten one handed at different times of day. A bagel with cream cheese or pb, or a pizza bagel, are super easy and gives some variety.

I like this idea! Just make sure they’re good bagels

How about just be sure to appreciate and be grateful someone brought you some food,! New mother's have months to prepare and freeze food. No need to bring anything.

If there was a recent power outage, the new mom may have lost months of food preparation. Happened with one of my good friends after a hurricane - the hospital told her to stay, since there was likely no power yet, my friend went home after verifying with her neighbors that power had been on all day. She returned home to find the main line on the street went out soon after their power was back on. She came home to think she had power, only to not have power, and all of the hotels were sold out since it had been a week without power. No water, as the local supply had been contaminated. All of the meals my friend lovingly prepared and stocked in her freezer over past weeks were long spoiled. Her DH had an issue (to put it mildly) with tossing out old/expired/not edible food, so she had to empty the freezer herself, because the house reeked from the spoiled fridge and freezer of food and it was so pungent, she was throwing up. She was recovering from major surgery, so I went over to help her restock. All this with her first newborn.

Not very likely to have all of these (one good, the rest bad) things happen at one time, but my friend was in a bad place with her DH doing everything BUT helping, so I was glad to be there for her, and she would do the same for me.

OP, "feel good" food is always welcome, especially if nursing. Depending on your audience, maybe a lasagna? With fresh bread and salad?

This is obviously a unique situation where the new mom really did need food.

However the new mom did herself a huge disservice doing the work of emptying the freezer and soliciting help from friends to restock their food items. DH learned really fast that he doesn’t have to step up in a time of need because his wife and even her friends will do his work! Can you imagine a man calling another man to help clean up his spoiled food items ?? Men need to step up and women need to demand accountability. The new mom should have gone upstairs and camped or far away from the kitchen. She should have focused on the baby, recovery and ordered food and water delivered until the DH got with the program.

Are you a troll? This is such a bizarre attitude. My DS’s preschool organized a meal train for us that was a lifesaver when my DD came along. DH split up housework 50/50 pre DD and he probably cooked close to 90% of the time after DD came along. This includes having breakfast waiting for me every morning, packing DS’s lunch ( which I used to do), and most dinner prep. The meal train was a huge help to us to help free up DH’s time so he could focus attention on our DS whose world had been turned upside down. Also so he could do laundry. Provide me a break so I could focus on our DS, etc. by the way, some men were the ones who signed up to deliver meal train meals. I do not get why you are so black and white on this and oddly hijacked this thread.

I don’t believe you that there were multiple men who signed up to cook you dinner and brought it to you. I just don’t.