A cautionary tale of how not to parent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Scientifically, taking one case and trying to extrapolate to a group is bad practice.

This should be reassuring to you, OP, since none of your acquaintance's problems have any particular risk of applying to your family.

But I know you're just reveling in their setbacks because you used to be jealous of their success.

Let's see how your kids do...

Seriously? Success?? It's a train wreck.

No, I started this thread as a discussion what hovering does to kids and how we can stop it. I tend to do a bit hovering myself, but I really really hope I'm not as bad. Also, I find a lot of other parents these days are helicoptering, or, as a friend of mine says, "I'm not a helicopter mom, I'm a drone mom", droning. At DC's school they invited a child psychologist to speak and he said some parents move in with their kids in college or call their professors asking to allow their kids to retake tests, etc.

College prof here. No, this doesn't happen.

NP. Wrong. I have several fiends who are profs at different schools, several at DCUM faves. They have some crazy stories. One out of Haverford was a student who wouldn’t move into her dorm, so mom stayed behind and they lived out of a hotel together.

And do you know why? Did the kid have a mental or physical illness? Go through a trauma? Something else?

DS has a friend who comes from a great, family supportive parents. She smart, kind, nice kid who is very well adjusted. She has an “invisible disability”— serious autoimmune issues that could well shorten her life. She is staying in state for college because of her illness, but Mason isn’t a good fit. She and her parents and doctors are talking now about how to make college work next year. And it may well involve Mom spending a lot of time where DD is to assist in transitioning medical care and such— or even, yes, getting an apartment w/ her DD freshmen year to help take care of her during flare ups. She needs to stay on a strict routine with sleep, the right food always and exercise. There is concern she can’t live in a dorm, even in a single, and may not be able to properly care for herself during flare ups. But if you met this girl, you would never guess it. Should she just not go to college? Should they go against her care teams advice, stick her in a dorm and hope?

You don’t know what people are going through or why people make the decisions they do.

I think OP is disgusting. If you kids are happy and thriving, be grateful. Not everyone has that. Many people have kids with physical and mental illness because of bad luck. Thank whomever you pray to that your kid does not and approach parenting with humility. There are no perfect parents, we all mistakes, and by the time we have teens we all look back and see things we could have done better. And I don’t know a single perfect parent who raised perfect kids or never hit a bump.

OP’s gloating over some other family’s struggles on an anonymous forum is just nauseating. Because I can guarantee you this OP— at some point, you’ll get what coming to you. Karma.

+1 well said! Karma is a bitch!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s doing her personal best. Parenting is a kick ass hard gig. Stop judging her and her kid or you may find yourself as ‘unluckily’ one day

Is that what you're tell yourself? That you're doing your best by pushing your kid into some form of perfection that you desire - get straight As, be on top of the class and get into Harvard? You're doing your best by denying him mental health treatment because you're afraid it's not going to look kosher on Harvard application? Or that you found a job for him that he didn't ask you for and are calling his boss behind his back? This is the best one can do? Really? Come on, you need a reality check, lady.

Huh? No one is listing their mental health treatments on any kind of college applications, Harvard or Montgomery College. Come on, you need a reality check, lady.[/quot

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Scientifically, taking one case and trying to extrapolate to a group is bad practice.

This should be reassuring to you, OP, since none of your acquaintance's problems have any particular risk of applying to your family.

But I know you're just reveling in their setbacks because you used to be jealous of their success.

Let's see how your kids do...

Seriously? Success?? It's a train wreck.

No, I started this thread as a discussion what hovering does to kids and how we can stop it. I tend to do a bit hovering myself, but I really really hope I'm not as bad. Also, I find a lot of other parents these days are helicoptering, or, as a friend of mine says, "I'm not a helicopter mom, I'm a drone mom", droning. At DC's school they invited a child psychologist to speak and he said some parents move in with their kids in college or call their professors asking to allow their kids to retake tests, etc.

College prof here. No, this doesn't happen.

NP. Wrong. I have several fiends who are profs at different schools, several at DCUM faves. They have some crazy stories. One out of Haverford was a student who wouldn’t move into her dorm, so mom stayed behind and they lived out of a hotel together.

And do you know why? Did the kid have a mental or physical illness? Go through a trauma? Something else?

DS has a friend who comes from a great, family supportive parents. She smart, kind, nice kid who is very well adjusted. She has an “invisible disability”— serious autoimmune issues that could well shorten her life. She is staying in state for college because of her illness, but Mason isn’t a good fit. She and her parents and doctors are talking now about how to make college work next year. And it may well involve Mom spending a lot of time where DD is to assist in transitioning medical care and such— or even, yes, getting an apartment w/ her DD freshmen year to help take care of her during flare ups. She needs to stay on a strict routine with sleep, the right food always and exercise. There is concern she can’t live in a dorm, even in a single, and may not be able to properly care for herself during flare ups. But if you met this girl, you would never guess it. Should she just not go to college? Should they go against her care teams advice, stick her in a dorm and hope?

You don’t know what people are going through or why people make the decisions they do.

I think OP is disgusting. If you kids are happy and thriving, be grateful. Not everyone has that. Many people have kids with physical and mental illness because of bad luck. Thank whomever you pray to that your kid does not and approach parenting with humility. There are no perfect parents, we all mistakes, and by the time we have teens we all look back and see things we could have done better. And I don’t know a single perfect parent who raised perfect kids or never hit a bump.

OP’s gloating over some other family’s struggles on an anonymous forum is just nauseating. Because I can guarantee you this OP— at some point, you’ll get what coming to you. Karma.

+1 well said! Karma is a bitch!

Chill. There was no judgement except to the prof who said that things like parents staying with college kids doesn’t happen.