Why is it that the higher up you go in the social ladder, the more enforced gender norms are?

[Anonymous]

Yes, something has to give. It’s usually female ambition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not jealous. I never understand this reaction. We’re not jealous, we think you are subservient to the male patriarchy and holding women back from upwards mobility and independence.

Oh, and I’m not fat either. Even if I was, it’s funny you think I’m angry and fat in order to not really admire at all women whom uphold traditional gender stereotypes.

I’m not letting it go. You represent second class citizens happy to be subservient to men’s ambitions and dreams. You’re asolutely pathetic as role models to young women.

Girl, that was an angry post, whether you want to admit it or not. You need to learn to respect other women's choices.

I don’t respect most women who choose to SAH. Many WAHM don’t. We don’t talk about it openly. We pretend, but it’s there. It’s the divide amongst women. Those of us driving gender equality in the workplace don’t for a minute understand your choice. You, SAH, you think we’d all choose your path in life if only we landed a rich husband.

You, who decimated the ambition of your youth to kowtow to a man’s ambition. No, you don’t deserve my respect as someone championing forward better choices for women. You exude privledge living a social lobotomy of your former self.

You have issues. Therapy. Seek some.

I’m happy. Do not need therapy to state a truth, I’ve observed. Many women stop personal achievements to raise kids. Their DHs don’t. If it’s equal work, why aren’t the men leaving the workforce. Because it’s not equal. Fact, you aren’t earning the money honey. Your DH got that factoid and its why he’s busy at a career, forgets your birthday and we all know the score. You as a woman decided to take a second seat. If it were a desirable first class chair in life, men would be doing women’s work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not jealous. I never understand this reaction. We’re not jealous, we think you are subservient to the male patriarchy and holding women back from upwards mobility and independence.

Oh, and I’m not fat either. Even if I was, it’s funny you think I’m angry and fat in order to not really admire at all women whom uphold traditional gender stereotypes.

I’m not letting it go. You represent second class citizens happy to be subservient to men’s ambitions and dreams. You’re asolutely pathetic as role models to young women.

Girl, that was an angry post, whether you want to admit it or not. You need to learn to respect other women's choices.

I don’t respect most women who choose to SAH. Many WAHM don’t. We don’t talk about it openly. We pretend, but it’s there. It’s the divide amongst women. Those of us driving gender equality in the workplace don’t for a minute understand your choice. You, SAH, you think we’d all choose your path in life if only we landed a rich husband.

You, who decimated the ambition of your youth to kowtow to a man’s ambition. No, you don’t deserve my respect as someone championing forward better choices for women. You exude privledge living a social lobotomy of your former self.

You have issues. Therapy. Seek some.

I’m happy. Do not need therapy to state a truth, I’ve observed. Many women stop personal achievements to raise kids. Their DHs don’t. If it’s equal work, why aren’t the men leaving the workforce. Because it’s not equal. Fact, you aren’t earning the money honey. Your DH got that factoid and its why he’s busy at a career, forgets your birthday and we all know the score. You as a woman decided to take a second seat. If it were a desirable first class chair in life, men would be doing women’s work.

It is equal; it's just not the same. Men tend to prefer working to spending all day with children and being so concerned with the small details of their children's lives, although they love their children. Some women—even those with excellent educations and high levels of career success—would rather be with their children than at work. Or it would pain them more than it would their husbands to have their children's quality of life be lower through being raised primarily by strangers.

[Anonymous]

well now there's a nice game of chicken to play on your children. which spouse will save first to raise the children correctly. Nice.

[Anonymous]

cave first

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not jealous. I never understand this reaction. We’re not jealous, we think you are subservient to the male patriarchy and holding women back from upwards mobility and independence.

Oh, and I’m not fat either. Even if I was, it’s funny you think I’m angry and fat in order to not really admire at all women whom uphold traditional gender stereotypes.

I’m not letting it go. You represent second class citizens happy to be subservient to men’s ambitions and dreams. You’re asolutely pathetic as role models to young women.

Girl, that was an angry post, whether you want to admit it or not. You need to learn to respect other women's choices.

I don’t respect most women who choose to SAH. Many WAHM don’t. We don’t talk about it openly. We pretend, but it’s there. It’s the divide amongst women. Those of us driving gender equality in the workplace don’t for a minute understand your choice. You, SAH, you think we’d all choose your path in life if only we landed a rich husband.

You, who decimated the ambition of your youth to kowtow to a man’s ambition. No, you don’t deserve my respect as someone championing forward better choices for women. You exude privledge living a social lobotomy of your former self.

You have issues. Therapy. Seek some.

I’m happy. Do not need therapy to state a truth, I’ve observed. Many women stop personal achievements to raise kids. Their DHs don’t. If it’s equal work, why aren’t the men leaving the workforce. Because it’s not equal. Fact, you aren’t earning the money honey. Your DH got that factoid and its why he’s busy at a career, forgets your birthday and we all know the score. You as a woman decided to take a second seat. If it were a desirable first class chair in life, men would be doing women’s work.

This is unfortunately true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here, big law partner, and two observations for what it's worth.

First, most of my partners are male, most of them married to highly educated women who dropped out of the workforce when the kids came. No one needs the money at this level, and something has to give. Honestly, this is the big advantage men have over women in the upper ranks of professions: we have someone at home that handles everything so we can focus on client development.

Second, it saddens me that society so demeans SAHMs. My wife is my co-equal. But more astonishingly, how so many working women tear down SAHMs, like your only worth in life is feeding into the capitalist machine and earning ever so much more money. Dare I say it, my wife's life surrounded by our children is far more rewarding and in retrospect than the endless commercial litigation between fortune 100s over patent disputes that I deal with.

If it’s equal. Quit your job and stay at home. You wouldn’t because you get something out of the grueling work. Your wife doesn’t. It’s nowhere near equal. You know it’s true. You wouldn’t give up the endless commercial litigation for doing what your wife does daily. You know you’ve got the better end of the deal and the discourse from the likes of you about how SAHs having better, more important work is complete BS. But, you already know that.

Agree. If you think your wife's life is far more rewarding than yours, would you trade places with her and become SAHD, supposing she had a similar opportunity to advance in her career and become a high earner? I'm guessing the answer is 100% no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here, big law partner, and two observations for what it's worth.

First, most of my partners are male, most of them married to highly educated women who dropped out of the workforce when the kids came. No one needs the money at this level, and something has to give. Honestly, this is the big advantage men have over women in the upper ranks of professions: we have someone at home that handles everything so we can focus on client development.

Second, it saddens me that society so demeans SAHMs. My wife is my co-equal. But more astonishingly, how so many working women tear down SAHMs, like your only worth in life is feeding into the capitalist machine and earning ever so much more money. Dare I say it, my wife's life surrounded by our children is far more rewarding and in retrospect than the endless commercial litigation between fortune 100s over patent disputes that I deal with.

This! I can honestly say that my husband believes this. He runs his biggest decisions past me, for both work and our personal lives. He is not a details person. I am. I typically have a different take on situations. I had a great career before kids and we've run multiple successful businesses over the last decade. While I am technically a SAHM, he treats me as his equal and fully respects my opinions.

I don't understand why staying at home makes me less than my WOHM counterparts. I don't have to work therefore I don't but I'm not some trophy wife who spends her time on Pinterest.

PP sounds very angry and in need of some therapy.

Do either of you cheat on your wives?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:well now there's a nice game of chicken to play on your children. which spouse will save first to raise the children correctly. Nice.

I wouldn't call it chicken since the dads in many cases would simply be oblivious. For example, looking at day in the life of the VP dad above who is about as involved as any husband could possibly be expected to be, I don't think it bothered him to leave his preschooler in aftercare until probably 5:30 or 6:00 when his older child's swim practice was done. He could use this time to answer emails without picturing the entire time his preschooler being away from him and waiting for him, and thinking that he should have picked the preschooler up at 4:00 before the older child's school bus arrived at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:well now there's a nice game of chicken to play on your children. which spouse will save first to raise the children correctly. Nice.

I wouldn't call it chicken since the dads in many cases would simply be oblivious. For example, looking at day in the life of the VP dad above who is about as involved as any husband could possibly be expected to be, I don't think it bothered him to leave his preschooler in aftercare until probably 5:30 or 6:00 when his older child's swim practice was done. He could use this time to answer emails without picturing the entire time his preschooler being away from him and waiting for him, and thinking that he should have picked the preschooler up at 4:00 before the older child's school bus arrived at home.

as long as Dad-io also had booked the swim lessons and informed day care of late pickup. or did mom do that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:well now there's a nice game of chicken to play on your children. which spouse will save first to raise the children correctly. Nice.

I wouldn't call it chicken since the dads in many cases would simply be oblivious. For example, looking at day in the life of the VP dad above who is about as involved as any husband could possibly be expected to be, I don't think it bothered him to leave his preschooler in aftercare until probably 5:30 or 6:00 when his older child's swim practice was done. He could use this time to answer emails without picturing the entire time his preschooler being away from him and waiting for him, and thinking that he should have picked the preschooler up at 4:00 before the older child's school bus arrived at home.

as long as Dad-io also had booked the swim lessons and informed day care of late pickup. or did mom do that?

You don't usually have to inform day care of a late pickup. If the place is open until 6:00 p.m., you can come whenever you want up until that time.

[Anonymous]

"You, who decimated the ambition of your youth to kowtow to a man’s ambition. No, you don’t deserve my respect as someone championing forward better choices for women. You exude privledge living a social lobotomy of your former self."

What exactly are these better choices for women? Working longer hours, being stressed, putting self over kids? Becoming robot to answer calls of your boss? Many women just don't care about these so called ambitions. They drank the juice that's been fed to them in mind control public schools until they realize oh wait I don't want that.

These are also blanket statements. I know personally so many working moms that would love to stay at home and leave the rat race. Because unless you become a CEO-you're in the rat race. Also it's not just about ambition, many prefer the gender norms. Not all, just like we don't all like Pepsi or coke.

I could blanket statement you and say this 50/50 garbage is also the kool aid you've been fed. Marriage is not 50/50, it varies over the years, parent dies, you give 60, etc. We all are no longer our former selves? How many of us are awkward and unsure of ourselves making bad decisions? Again, I want to respond normally to your comments, but however I read it, you are angry at sahms for not being like you, which frankly sounds biased and racist if there was something for women against each other. You also sound like a person who wouldn't be a good friend or employee with so much hatred to others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not jealous. I never understand this reaction. We’re not jealous, we think you are subservient to the male patriarchy and holding women back from upwards mobility and independence.

Oh, and I’m not fat either. Even if I was, it’s funny you think I’m angry and fat in order to not really admire at all women whom uphold traditional gender stereotypes.

I’m not letting it go. You represent second class citizens happy to be subservient to men’s ambitions and dreams. You’re asolutely pathetic as role models to young women.

Girl, that was an angry post, whether you want to admit it or not. You need to learn to respect other women's choices.

I don’t respect most women who choose to SAH. Many WAHM don’t. We don’t talk about it openly. We pretend, but it’s there. It’s the divide amongst women. Those of us driving gender equality in the workplace don’t for a minute understand your choice. You, SAH, you think we’d all choose your path in life if only we landed a rich husband.

You, who decimated the ambition of your youth to kowtow to a man’s ambition. No, you don’t deserve my respect as someone championing forward better choices for women. You exude privledge living a social lobotomy of your former self.

You have issues. Therapy. Seek some.

I’m happy. Do not need therapy to state a truth, I’ve observed. Many women stop personal achievements to raise kids. Their DHs don’t. If it’s equal work, why aren’t the men leaving the workforce. Because it’s not equal. Fact, you aren’t earning the money honey. Your DH got that factoid and its why he’s busy at a career, forgets your birthday and we all know the score. You as a woman decided to take a second seat. If it were a desirable first class chair in life, men would be doing women’s work.

It is equal; it's just not the same. Men tend to prefer working to spending all day with children and being so concerned with the small details of their children's lives, although they love their children. Some women—even those with excellent educations and high levels of career success—would rather be with their children than at work. Or it would pain them more than it would their husbands to have their children's quality of life be lower through being raised primarily by strangers.

You’re nuts. It’s not equal. Men prefer working because they remain independent and have a life beyond husband and father. They like finding a high driven A type woman willing to cede to their ambition. If you graduated an Ivy, are at least a 7 hot, and a killer queen bitch bee socially, total catch.

Your new role, give up everything you may have dreamt of to his ambition. Your his arm candy on the nights he’s not balls deep somewhere else...with someone he def doesn’t respect like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not jealous. I never understand this reaction. We’re not jealous, we think you are subservient to the male patriarchy and holding women back from upwards mobility and independence.

Oh, and I’m not fat either. Even if I was, it’s funny you think I’m angry and fat in order to not really admire at all women whom uphold traditional gender stereotypes.

I’m not letting it go. You represent second class citizens happy to be subservient to men’s ambitions and dreams. You’re asolutely pathetic as role models to young women.

Girl, that was an angry post, whether you want to admit it or not. You need to learn to respect other women's choices.

I don’t respect most women who choose to SAH. Many WAHM don’t. We don’t talk about it openly. We pretend, but it’s there. It’s the divide amongst women. Those of us driving gender equality in the workplace don’t for a minute understand your choice. You, SAH, you think we’d all choose your path in life if only we landed a rich husband.

You, who decimated the ambition of your youth to kowtow to a man’s ambition. No, you don’t deserve my respect as someone championing forward better choices for women. You exude privledge living a social lobotomy of your former self.

You have issues. Therapy. Seek some.

I’m happy. Do not need therapy to state a truth, I’ve observed. Many women stop personal achievements to raise kids. Their DHs don’t. If it’s equal work, why aren’t the men leaving the workforce. Because it’s not equal. Fact, you aren’t earning the money honey. Your DH got that factoid and its why he’s busy at a career, forgets your birthday and we all know the score. You as a woman decided to take a second seat. If it were a desirable first class chair in life, men would be doing women’s work.

It is equal; it's just not the same. Men tend to prefer working to spending all day with children and being so concerned with the small details of their children's lives, although they love their children. Some women—even those with excellent educations and high levels of career success—would rather be with their children than at work. Or it would pain them more than it would their husbands to have their children's quality of life be lower through being raised primarily by strangers.

You’re nuts. It’s not equal. Men prefer working because they remain independent and have a life beyond husband and father. They like finding a high driven A type woman willing to cede to their ambition. If you graduated an Ivy, are at least a 7 hot, and a killer queen bitch bee socially, total catch.

Your new role, give up everything you may have dreamt of to his ambition. Your his arm candy on the nights he’s not balls deep somewhere else...with someone he def doesn’t respect like you.

Lol. Who else thinks this repeated poster is the bitter AP of some rich dude who won’t marry her?

[Anonymous]

I live in an area where the SAHPs are about 50/50 moms and dads. It almost always comes down to who makes more money. The SAHDs all have wives who are doctors, lawyers, etc. Age also plays a role in this- most women marry older men, who have been working longer and so are more advanced in their careers. They make more money and it makes more sense for them to continue working.

I do think it’s funny that PP thinks SAHMs have no control. From what I’ve seen, SAHMs have all the control. Their husbands know that divorce would financially devastate them and they’d lose half their savings/retirement/pension. A lot of those SAHMs are also wicked smart with money and raised their wealth substantially by managing their investments.