TJ Today -

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much ugliness coming, apparently, from Asians on this thread. Why do we continue to subsidize this school for arrogant snobs?

+1. And I have a kid at TJ. Be better.

And BTW, I have seen a repeat dynamic where white parents are fine with the Asian kids and families, socializing, doing schoolwork together, whatever. But Asian parents, especially first gen, will not let their children go to the homes of white families. And I’m not talking about sleepovers and socializing. My kid has had group members whose parents have decreed that group projects can only be done in the home of another Asian family, not a white family. They don’t have to know the Asian family, mind you. They just have to be Asian. Because apparently we are going to walk around the house naked while 5 16 year olds work on a history project or someth8ng. And this is not a one off. It is a repeated issue. Also, a PITA, because it means I have to drive my kid 45 minutes each way each time.

There is also a really is ugly superiority complex/ Asians are genetically smarter / superior thing going on at TJ. I did not believe it until I saw it in action. I figure it doesn’t hurt my white son to learn what it feels like to be discriminated against. Good life lesson on white male privilege he would be unlikely to get anywhere else. But, I feel bad for the white girls, who are double minorities. A couple of my friends who parent white TJ girls (are there are only 40 or so per class) say they really struggle.

So, don’t pretend there is not a cohort of ugly Asian racists at TJ. It isn’t all Asians, by a long shot. But it exists in a sizeable minority. And it’s sickening.

Asian American here. Really wonder what type of Asians you are referring to. I’m Korean American. DH is Chinese American. I can’t think of anyone I have encountered in my life like this. And my parents were strict Christian parents who never let me sleep over. They always drove me to group projects.

Seems to be primarily 1st generation Indian. And no. Not just me. My kids have plenty of Asian friends who are over here. And this is what I get from my kid— what kids tell him their parents rules are.

Don’t take my word for it. Check out TJ Vents:

"it's rlly rlly annoying to have indian parents which ik 75% of this school knows but it's more annoying when they are the most traditional as in shoulders showing is pushing it sleepovers are pushing it going to a football game means silent car rides bc ur a disgrace but now going to a white friends house is close to the disgrace caused by going to community college so pls if ur parents are fine with stuff stop being an ass and complaining "

27 March 2018 9:52 PM

I'm an Indian American parent (first gen) with a TJ kid. Wouldn't dream of saying anything like what the original poster was saying nor behaving that way. My kids go to sleepovers at White kids' homes and vice versa. I honestly don't know anyone who would behave like that either.. I'm sorry you and your son were made to feel bad PP. It is unacceptable. Have you tried talking to one of those parents? It's quite possible that they are from a community where there are not exposed to any others and may have hangups (can't imagine about what though)..

My kid is 16. This is his battle to fight, not mine. I don’t think he takes it personally— he knows these are his classmates house rules that apply across the board. And he seems to understand that this is being driven by parents, and not the kids.

Plus, in 2018, I think we are seeing what happens when white men in America assume they deserve special treatment. Most white men are never in a situation where they are treated as having minority status. My kids need to learn to live in a global society and compete in a global economy, or get left behind. He is in the unique position of being a white male in a prestigious position, but with minority status. It doesn’t hurt him to walk in someone else’s shoes for a while.

Or at least, this is what I tell myself, because being pissed off does not help anyone. (i’m Still pissed off anyway).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ For the essay class, we randomly found it here:

https://fairfaxcollegiate.com/subjects/test%20prep

It was relatively inexpensive, very close to home, timing was convenient, and I thought it will not hurt. My DD said it was helpful. For the whole test prep class, I did more research and signed her up with Kate Dalby. Kate was so nice and spoke over the phone with me for at least 40 minutes telling about her program, before we signed up.

Mind sharing what Kate Dalby's classes cost? Also the location of her classes?

Did you do it over the summer or during the school year right before the test?

Thanks!

Kate's prep information is here:
http://katedalby.com/tj-admissions-prep/
Cost is $968, and classes are in McLean. My DD took it in October-November, right before the TJ test. Her friend who took the class with her unfortunately didn't get in - so there is no magic in taking a 6-week class, just a good supplement if a child is already well qualified. I mostly wanted my DD to learn the test taking strategies so that those familiar with the strategies don't outsmart her on the test only for that reason.

See, this is part of the reason why they should just drop the test part of the application process. Your chances to get into TJ should not be affected by whether or not your parents can afford almost $1000 for a six week class. I'm sorry, but that's ridiculous. Grades and teacher recommendations give a much fuller picture of a student and their abilities than a one day test can.

I don't think they should drop the test part. They are already looking at the grades and teacher recommendations, and the test consists of several parts - science, math, reading, writing. A lot of kids have a 4.0 GPA (I think TJ doesn't accept a GPA below 3.8), therefore it would be very difficult to choose based on the teacher recommendation only - way too subjective. For the math part of the test, it was quite impossible to prepare this year because it was new. My DD said that the questions were similar to the ones she solved at the mathcounts club, while Kate's math prep wasn't helpful. Mathcounts school club was free.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Fair enough.. Good thought. As long as they can make sure biases do not creep into the interview process, this might work. I do agree on the point about test prep. However, for most of them, TJ prep is just the hook. Most of the kids return for ongoing supplemental classes throughout their HS years. That's where they make the most of their money.

But, why should a kid who is smart enough to be a TJ in need of ongoing supplemental classes? That's where, unfortunately, there are sometimes incidents of cheating in terms of using questions that have been collected surreptitiously from students who have taken the tests. Kids smart enough to be at TJ should be smart enough to do their own studying without the need for outside tutoring.

I think they could put together a good class without standardized tests and there wouldn't be all this comparing of test scores which really aren't necessarily a good predictor of success at TJ anyway. At least on the college level, grades have been found to be a better predictor of success than test scores, so I wouldn't be surprised if research on TJ applicants would have the same results.

I don't think you can assume that someone going to supplemental classes is somehow cheating. People use tutors for a variety of reasons. Signing up for a class over a quarter may be cheaper per class than taking a few on and off. As we have all seen over and over again, TJ math is really tough. maybe the kid wants to get ahead. I know a few top-performing kids at a base HS (one of the top around here) get supplemental classes in Spanish and Math. Would that be OK because they are not in TJ?

The cheating is a separate issue that goes on in some of the supplemental programs that maintain "test banks."

Kids who can't keep up should certainly get tutoring to help them. Kids who at TJ should be smart enough that they shouldn't be having trouble keeping up. And if they're having so much trouble keeping up that they need to take classes ahead of time and get outside tutoring, then they should probably be giving consideration to whether their home school can do a better job of meeting their needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My kid is 16. This is his battle to fight, not mine. I don’t think he takes it personally— he knows these are his classmates house rules that apply across the board. And he seems to understand that this is being driven by parents, and not the kids.

Plus, in 2018, I think we are seeing what happens when white men in America assume they deserve special treatment. Most white men are never in a situation where they are treated as having minority status. My kids need to learn to live in a global society and compete in a global economy, or get left behind. He is in the unique position of being a white male in a prestigious position, but with minority status. It doesn’t hurt him to walk in someone else’s shoes for a while.

+1000 on the first paragraph.
You are completely full of shit on the second paragraph. In fact, you are judging white males without being in their shoes, an argument completely antithetical to your first point. Would you be fine with me arguing that women make hysterical arguments solely because their brains are poisoned by estrogen? I think not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My kid is 16. This is his battle to fight, not mine. I don’t think he takes it personally— he knows these are his classmates house rules that apply across the board. And he seems to understand that this is being driven by parents, and not the kids.

Plus, in 2018, I think we are seeing what happens when white men in America assume they deserve special treatment. Most white men are never in a situation where they are treated as having minority status. My kids need to learn to live in a global society and compete in a global economy, or get left behind. He is in the unique position of being a white male in a prestigious position, but with minority status. It doesn’t hurt him to walk in someone else’s shoes for a while.

+1000 on the first paragraph.
You are completely full of shit on the second paragraph. In fact, you are judging white males without being in their shoes, an argument completely antithetical to your first point. Would you be fine with me arguing that women make hysterical arguments solely because their brains are poisoned by estrogen? I think not.

Chill. I’m not judging white males at all. I’m saying that, as someone raising an awesome white male, who is a great kid with great intentions, I think the experience of being in the minority is one that might be valuable for him, in the future, as he navigates social and work situations. Empathy, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My kid is 16. This is his battle to fight, not mine. I don’t think he takes it personally— he knows these are his classmates house rules that apply across the board. And he seems to understand that this is being driven by parents, and not the kids.

Plus, in 2018, I think we are seeing what happens when white men in America assume they deserve special treatment. Most white men are never in a situation where they are treated as having minority status. My kids need to learn to live in a global society and compete in a global economy, or get left behind. He is in the unique position of being a white male in a prestigious position, but with minority status. It doesn’t hurt him to walk in someone else’s shoes for a while.

+1000 on the first paragraph.
You are completely full of shit on the second paragraph. In fact, you are judging white males without being in their shoes, an argument completely antithetical to your first point. Would you be fine with me arguing that women make hysterical arguments solely because their brains are poisoned by estrogen? I think not.

Chill. I’m not judging white males at all. I’m saying that, as someone raising an awesome white male, who is a great kid with great intentions, I think the experience of being in the minority is one that might be valuable for him, in the future, as he navigates social and work situations. Empathy, etc.

This issue I believe is the main reason why a lot of white people don't apply to TJ. It's farther away, often too much pressure to have much of a social life, and you'll be treated as a minority and ostracized. Why bother when you can take at least 75% of the same types of classes at a base school, not be a minority, and still have a social life? The Asians are perfectly fine to have their own segregated high school. I just want the additional money out of TJ. If they are so great, they shouldn't need more money for their education.