Why are you deleting my posts in the Explaining Transgenderism thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you tell a child that his friend was "mentally ill". Why would tell a child his friend had "many problems"? Why would you suggest to a child that it's a "sad situation"?

If I knew you were telling your child that about ANY child, our children would no longer be friends. I work hard to teach my children unconditional love, compassion, acceptance, inclusivity, and most importantly, kindness. I hope the world is able to teach your children the important lessons that you are failing to teach. We already have far too much hate in our world.

Maybe in your world, lady, “mentally ill” or “emotional problems” is some horrible, awful, evil thing. It’s not in my world. It’s just reality. It’s not incompatible with love or compassion. Frankly, if you’re so darn open-minded, I question why you are attaching such stigma to these words.

+1000

Miss compassion and kindness knows nothing of which she preaches.

Pretty sure I do. I work with the LGTBQ community. One of my closet friends is a fairly well-known transgender woman. She is an author and a very successful executive at a huge, international corporation. The company paid for much of her surgery. My youngest child is gay. People like you have suggested being homosexual is an illness. People who are transgender are not mentally ill. They are not "sad". They are human beings just like you. Try compassion. You might be surprised by what you learn.

The problem here is you seem to assume that if you believe that being transgender is a mental illness, than you cannot have compassion. I’m not quite sure where you get this from.

My daughters godmother - my best friend - is gay. I work in an HIV clinic, and a decent percentage of my patients are transgender.
I treat all of these people with kindness, respect and compassion. I love my best friend unconditionally. I treat my patients as if they were my family members.

Just because you do not think that metal issues are the root of their transgender identity does not make you more compassionate than me. Not by a long shot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sick of people whining about Jeff deleting their posts. Get over it. It's his website you're using for free.

That’s fine and I’m asking him to reconsider. And if he refuses constructive feedback and manages his free website in a ridiculous manner, I’ll go elsewhere.

Please do.

You know, it totally cracks me up that you’re shunning me because I don’t agree with you on this topic. I’m about as far from a Trumpster as you can get, but no wonder people having a bad impression of liberals who can’t tolerate any moderate dissent.

NP. Actually, I am a Republican and think you are way off base. The really cool thing about living in the US is that someone can create a forum and moderate it any which way he/she wants as long as it doesn't incite immediate harm to others. If you don't like it go elsewhere. Like Jeff, you have the right to create your own forum and write whatever you want. See, problem solved!

The other great thing is I can tell Jeff what I think and he can respond!!! If you don’t like it, don’t read a forum called “Website Feedback”!!!! See, problem solved!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you tell a child that his friend was "mentally ill". Why would tell a child his friend had "many problems"? Why would you suggest to a child that it's a "sad situation"?

If I knew you were telling your child that about ANY child, our children would no longer be friends. I work hard to teach my children unconditional love, compassion, acceptance, inclusivity, and most importantly, kindness. I hope the world is able to teach your children the important lessons that you are failing to teach. We already have far too much hate in our world.

Maybe in your world, lady, “mentally ill” or “emotional problems” is some horrible, awful, evil thing. It’s not in my world. It’s just reality. It’s not incompatible with love or compassion. Frankly, if you’re so darn open-minded, I question why you are attaching such stigma to these words.

+1000

Miss compassion and kindness knows nothing of which she preaches.

Pretty sure I do. I work with the LGTBQ community. One of my closet friends is a fairly well-known transgender woman. She is an author and a very successful executive at a huge, international corporation. The company paid for much of her surgery. My youngest child is gay. People like you have suggested being homosexual is an illness. People who are transgender are not mentally ill. They are not "sad". They are human beings just like you. Try compassion. You might be surprised by what you learn.

DP. Regardless of whether people who are transgender are "mentally ill," regarding homosexuality or transgenderism as a "mental illness" is not incompatible with compassion, nor is it dehumanizing. *You* want to twist it so that anyone who questions the normalization of being transgender automatically labelled hateful, but you fail to see that you're just shutting down legitimate debate and forbidding people from asking questions, which in the long run is arguably much more harmful to everyone.

No. I just think telling a child that their friend's situation is "sad," and that the friend "needs help" or "is sick" is awful. Just truly awful.

Why not say - "Michael feels more like a boy than a girl. So for now she is going to dress as a girl. And we will call her Michelle.". End of discussion. The great thing about young children is that they haven't learned to hate. At least I hope they haven't.

Then you fail to appreciate that there ARE opinions out there that do not align with yours, and that these opinions are not based in hate or disregard for the child/individual in question. And quite frankly, your saying "end of discussion" does not make it so. And nor should it.

NP: I don't think it matters whether your opinions are based on hate of or disregard for the child/individual in question. Either way, it has the same effect: labeling so central a part of someone's identity as "sad," "sick" or "mentally ill" is profoundly painful and degrading. Your intent doesn't matter; the effect is the same.

What will you tell your kid about a kid with anorexia? Is it degrading to say that the person is having emotional problems or is mentally ill? No, it’s reality. You live in la la land where everything is roses. It’s not. Kids can understand that without freaking out like you are.

Anorexia is not the same as transgenderism. Not logically, not consequentially, and not medically. You're trying to advance an agenda here.

My kids know everything in life isn't roses. They're reminded of that when they encounter people like you.

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You just deleted a post in which I made the correct factual statement that transgenderism is a mental disorder in the DSM? Pray tell, why?

Are you seriously going to tell a 6 year old that his friend is mentally ill based on what is listed in the DSM? Your statement may be factual, but it has little to do with the topic.

NP.

Yes, I would tell my six year old exactly that. Of course I would put it in six year old terms, but I would definitely explain what the DSM is and says, and what noted medical institutions such as Johns Hopkins says. I would also answer any other questions my six year old would come up with. I've had three six year olds, and all were thoughtful enough to handle it.

You can also explain to your child that his friend is not dangerous to him and others.

You are another poster who didn't read the thread and is only coming to this thread because you never miss an opportunity to whine about "liberal bias". Nobody believes that you would discuss the DSM with a six year old.

I posted earlier in this thread, but I would absolutely positively discuss this in scientific terms with my kids. I have explained it that way in relation to my bipolar brother. Whether or not the DSM is specifically mentioned is itrelevant. That is where I get my scientific information. And I do understand the DSM - I am not a psychiatrist but I am a doctor.

So yes, I do believe this poster (who is not me, btw) would most certainly discuss the DSM with a 6 year old.

+1

Same.

And I wonder at Jeff's nasty streak showing up at the PP who merely made a statement regarding how she would approach this subject with her child.

This deletion was inappropriate but it's hardly Jeff's first time at completely eliminating a point of view he doesn't want others to see or hear.

That poster joins almost every thread in which someone is upset with me to pile on. She has spent years criticizing my every action. She didn't read the thread we are discussing, never saw the post that was deleted, and has no interest in anything we are discussing other than taking one more opportunity to criticize me. You would get nasty after a while too if you had to put up with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you tell a child that his friend was "mentally ill". Why would tell a child his friend had "many problems"? Why would you suggest to a child that it's a "sad situation"?

If I knew you were telling your child that about ANY child, our children would no longer be friends. I work hard to teach my children unconditional love, compassion, acceptance, inclusivity, and most importantly, kindness. I hope the world is able to teach your children the important lessons that you are failing to teach. We already have far too much hate in our world.

Maybe in your world, lady, “mentally ill” or “emotional problems” is some horrible, awful, evil thing. It’s not in my world. It’s just reality. It’s not incompatible with love or compassion. Frankly, if you’re so darn open-minded, I question why you are attaching such stigma to these words.

+1000

Miss compassion and kindness knows nothing of which she preaches.

Pretty sure I do. I work with the LGTBQ community. One of my closet friends is a fairly well-known transgender woman. She is an author and a very successful executive at a huge, international corporation. The company paid for much of her surgery. My youngest child is gay. People like you have suggested being homosexual is an illness. People who are transgender are not mentally ill. They are not "sad". They are human beings just like you. Try compassion. You might be surprised by what you learn.

The problem here is you seem to assume that if you believe that being transgender is a mental illness, than you cannot have compassion. I’m not quite sure where you get this from.

My daughters godmother - my best friend - is gay. I work in an HIV clinic, and a decent percentage of my patients are transgender.
I treat all of these people with kindness, respect and compassion. I love my best friend unconditionally. I treat my patients as if they were my family members.

Just because you do not think that metal issues are the root of their transgender identity does not make you more compassionate than me. Not by a long shot.

Congrats. Your "Most Superficially Compassionate" crown is in the mail. You can wear it while you continue to assume people's very identities are a sad mental illness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you tell a child that his friend was "mentally ill". Why would tell a child his friend had "many problems"? Why would you suggest to a child that it's a "sad situation"?

If I knew you were telling your child that about ANY child, our children would no longer be friends. I work hard to teach my children unconditional love, compassion, acceptance, inclusivity, and most importantly, kindness. I hope the world is able to teach your children the important lessons that you are failing to teach. We already have far too much hate in our world.

Maybe in your world, lady, “mentally ill” or “emotional problems” is some horrible, awful, evil thing. It’s not in my world. It’s just reality. It’s not incompatible with love or compassion. Frankly, if you’re so darn open-minded, I question why you are attaching such stigma to these words.

+1000

Miss compassion and kindness knows nothing of which she preaches.

Pretty sure I do. I work with the LGTBQ community. One of my closet friends is a fairly well-known transgender woman. She is an author and a very successful executive at a huge, international corporation. The company paid for much of her surgery. My youngest child is gay. People like you have suggested being homosexual is an illness. People who are transgender are not mentally ill. They are not "sad". They are human beings just like you. Try compassion. You might be surprised by what you learn.

DP. Regardless of whether people who are transgender are "mentally ill," regarding homosexuality or transgenderism as a "mental illness" is not incompatible with compassion, nor is it dehumanizing. *You* want to twist it so that anyone who questions the normalization of being transgender automatically labelled hateful, but you fail to see that you're just shutting down legitimate debate and forbidding people from asking questions, which in the long run is arguably much more harmful to everyone.

No. I just think telling a child that their friend's situation is "sad," and that the friend "needs help" or "is sick" is awful. Just truly awful.

Why not say - "Michael feels more like a boy than a girl. So for now she is going to dress as a girl. And we will call her Michelle.". End of discussion. The great thing about young children is that they haven't learned to hate. At least I hope they haven't.

Then you fail to appreciate that there ARE opinions out there that do not align with yours, and that these opinions are not based in hate or disregard for the child/individual in question. And quite frankly, your saying "end of discussion" does not make it so. And nor should it.

NP: I don't think it matters whether your opinions are based on hate of or disregard for the child/individual in question. Either way, it has the same effect: labeling so central a part of someone's identity as "sad," "sick" or "mentally ill" is profoundly painful and degrading. Your intent doesn't matter; the effect is the same.

NP. But the fact you are ignoring is that it is TRUE. Persons who are male who "feel like they are female" or... heck, I don't know, "feel like they are parakeets" have some sort of mental or emotional disturbance. The degree to which they are truly "ill" I cannot say, but whatever it is, it is not normal or OK and thus, yes... it is "sad." They are not in their right minds.

And that is what I will tell my child, should he ask.

[Anonymous]

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You just deleted a post in which I made the correct factual statement that transgenderism is a mental disorder in the DSM? Pray tell, why?

Are you seriously going to tell a 6 year old that his friend is mentally ill based on what is listed in the DSM? Your statement may be factual, but it has little to do with the topic.

NP.

Yes, I would tell my six year old exactly that. Of course I would put it in six year old terms, but I would definitely explain what the DSM is and says, and what noted medical institutions such as Johns Hopkins says. I would also answer any other questions my six year old would come up with. I've had three six year olds, and all were thoughtful enough to handle it.

You can also explain to your child that his friend is not dangerous to him and others.

You are another poster who didn't read the thread and is only coming to this thread because you never miss an opportunity to whine about "liberal bias". Nobody believes that you would discuss the DSM with a six year old.

I posted earlier in this thread, but I would absolutely positively discuss this in scientific terms with my kids. I have explained it that way in relation to my bipolar brother. Whether or not the DSM is specifically mentioned is itrelevant. That is where I get my scientific information. And I do understand the DSM - I am not a psychiatrist but I am a doctor.

So yes, I do believe this poster (who is not me, btw) would most certainly discuss the DSM with a 6 year old.

You can believe what you want, but like other posters, you have contradicted yourself. We were discussing whether anyone would discuss the DSM with a six year old. Given that "DSM" is the actual thing we were discussing, I don't see how that could be irrelevant. Obviously, many of us might discuss complex issues such as mental illness with children. However, we -- including you apparently -- would use language that is age appropriate. No six year old would understand what an adult meant by the DSM. Moreover, by justifying her position by referencing the DSM, the OP of this thread caused the discussion to divert into a debate about her understanding of the DSM.

OP here. That is completely untrue, Jeff, as the actual post that you deleted but then managed to post here shows. I brought up the DSM in the actual thread because someone asked me why I considered the child’s behavior mental illness. I wasn’t diverting anything. A bunch of people jumped into this Website Feedback thread to argue with me about the DSM and is I responded. That’s not my fault. You continue to be completely off base about this discussion and totally stubborn about admitting it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you tell a child that his friend was "mentally ill". Why would tell a child his friend had "many problems"? Why would you suggest to a child that it's a "sad situation"?

If I knew you were telling your child that about ANY child, our children would no longer be friends. I work hard to teach my children unconditional love, compassion, acceptance, inclusivity, and most importantly, kindness. I hope the world is able to teach your children the important lessons that you are failing to teach. We already have far too much hate in our world.

Maybe in your world, lady, “mentally ill” or “emotional problems” is some horrible, awful, evil thing. It’s not in my world. It’s just reality. It’s not incompatible with love or compassion. Frankly, if you’re so darn open-minded, I question why you are attaching such stigma to these words.

+1000

Miss compassion and kindness knows nothing of which she preaches.

Pretty sure I do. I work with the LGTBQ community. One of my closet friends is a fairly well-known transgender woman. She is an author and a very successful executive at a huge, international corporation. The company paid for much of her surgery. My youngest child is gay. People like you have suggested being homosexual is an illness. People who are transgender are not mentally ill. They are not "sad". They are human beings just like you. Try compassion. You might be surprised by what you learn.

DP. Regardless of whether people who are transgender are "mentally ill," regarding homosexuality or transgenderism as a "mental illness" is not incompatible with compassion, nor is it dehumanizing. *You* want to twist it so that anyone who questions the normalization of being transgender automatically labelled hateful, but you fail to see that you're just shutting down legitimate debate and forbidding people from asking questions, which in the long run is arguably much more harmful to everyone.

No. I just think telling a child that their friend's situation is "sad," and that the friend "needs help" or "is sick" is awful. Just truly awful.

Why not say - "Michael feels more like a boy than a girl. So for now she is going to dress as a girl. And we will call her Michelle.". End of discussion. The great thing about young children is that they haven't learned to hate. At least I hope they haven't.

Then you fail to appreciate that there ARE opinions out there that do not align with yours, and that these opinions are not based in hate or disregard for the child/individual in question. And quite frankly, your saying "end of discussion" does not make it so. And nor should it.

NP: I don't think it matters whether your opinions are based on hate of or disregard for the child/individual in question. Either way, it has the same effect: labeling so central a part of someone's identity as "sad," "sick" or "mentally ill" is profoundly painful and degrading. Your intent doesn't matter; the effect is the same.

NP. But the fact you are ignoring is that it is TRUE. Persons who are male who "feel like they are female" or... heck, I don't know, "feel like they are parakeets" have some sort of mental or emotional disturbance. The degree to which they are truly "ill" I cannot say, but whatever it is, it is not normal or OK and thus, yes... it is "sad." They are not in their right minds.

And that is what I will tell my child, should he ask.

No, it isn't. That's your opinion, and it's hurtful, as well as contradicted by the medical community. But you do you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you tell a child that his friend was "mentally ill". Why would tell a child his friend had "many problems"? Why would you suggest to a child that it's a "sad situation"?

If I knew you were telling your child that about ANY child, our children would no longer be friends. I work hard to teach my children unconditional love, compassion, acceptance, inclusivity, and most importantly, kindness. I hope the world is able to teach your children the important lessons that you are failing to teach. We already have far too much hate in our world.

Maybe in your world, lady, “mentally ill” or “emotional problems” is some horrible, awful, evil thing. It’s not in my world. It’s just reality. It’s not incompatible with love or compassion. Frankly, if you’re so darn open-minded, I question why you are attaching such stigma to these words.

+1000

Miss compassion and kindness knows nothing of which she preaches.

Pretty sure I do. I work with the LGTBQ community. One of my closet friends is a fairly well-known transgender woman. She is an author and a very successful executive at a huge, international corporation. The company paid for much of her surgery. My youngest child is gay. People like you have suggested being homosexual is an illness. People who are transgender are not mentally ill. They are not "sad". They are human beings just like you. Try compassion. You might be surprised by what you learn.

DP. Regardless of whether people who are transgender are "mentally ill," regarding homosexuality or transgenderism as a "mental illness" is not incompatible with compassion, nor is it dehumanizing. *You* want to twist it so that anyone who questions the normalization of being transgender automatically labelled hateful, but you fail to see that you're just shutting down legitimate debate and forbidding people from asking questions, which in the long run is arguably much more harmful to everyone.

No. I just think telling a child that their friend's situation is "sad," and that the friend "needs help" or "is sick" is awful. Just truly awful.

Why not say - "Michael feels more like a boy than a girl. So for now she is going to dress as a girl. And we will call her Michelle.". End of discussion. The great thing about young children is that they haven't learned to hate. At least I hope they haven't.

Then you fail to appreciate that there ARE opinions out there that do not align with yours, and that these opinions are not based in hate or disregard for the child/individual in question. And quite frankly, your saying "end of discussion" does not make it so. And nor should it.

NP: I don't think it matters whether your opinions are based on hate of or disregard for the child/individual in question. Either way, it has the same effect: labeling so central a part of someone's identity as "sad," "sick" or "mentally ill" is profoundly painful and degrading. Your intent doesn't matter; the effect is the same.

NP. But the fact you are ignoring is that it is TRUE. Persons who are male who "feel like they are female" or... heck, I don't know, "feel like they are parakeets" have some sort of mental or emotional disturbance. The degree to which they are truly "ill" I cannot say, but whatever it is, it is not normal or OK and thus, yes... it is "sad." They are not in their right minds.

And that is what I will tell my child, should he ask.

No, it isn't. That's your opinion, and it's hurtful, as well as contradicted by the medical community. But you do you.

There is not a shred of real science that confirms your position.

P.S. Psychology is not "real science."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you tell a child that his friend was "mentally ill". Why would tell a child his friend had "many problems"? Why would you suggest to a child that it's a "sad situation"?

If I knew you were telling your child that about ANY child, our children would no longer be friends. I work hard to teach my children unconditional love, compassion, acceptance, inclusivity, and most importantly, kindness. I hope the world is able to teach your children the important lessons that you are failing to teach. We already have far too much hate in our world.

Maybe in your world, lady, “mentally ill” or “emotional problems” is some horrible, awful, evil thing. It’s not in my world. It’s just reality. It’s not incompatible with love or compassion. Frankly, if you’re so darn open-minded, I question why you are attaching such stigma to these words.

+1000

Miss compassion and kindness knows nothing of which she preaches.

Pretty sure I do. I work with the LGTBQ community. One of my closet friends is a fairly well-known transgender woman. She is an author and a very successful executive at a huge, international corporation. The company paid for much of her surgery. My youngest child is gay. People like you have suggested being homosexual is an illness. People who are transgender are not mentally ill. They are not "sad". They are human beings just like you. Try compassion. You might be surprised by what you learn.

DP. Regardless of whether people who are transgender are "mentally ill," regarding homosexuality or transgenderism as a "mental illness" is not incompatible with compassion, nor is it dehumanizing. *You* want to twist it so that anyone who questions the normalization of being transgender automatically labelled hateful, but you fail to see that you're just shutting down legitimate debate and forbidding people from asking questions, which in the long run is arguably much more harmful to everyone.

No. I just think telling a child that their friend's situation is "sad," and that the friend "needs help" or "is sick" is awful. Just truly awful.

Why not say - "Michael feels more like a boy than a girl. So for now she is going to dress as a girl. And we will call her Michelle.". End of discussion. The great thing about young children is that they haven't learned to hate. At least I hope they haven't.

Then you fail to appreciate that there ARE opinions out there that do not align with yours, and that these opinions are not based in hate or disregard for the child/individual in question. And quite frankly, your saying "end of discussion" does not make it so. And nor should it.

NP: I don't think it matters whether your opinions are based on hate of or disregard for the child/individual in question. Either way, it has the same effect: labeling so central a part of someone's identity as "sad," "sick" or "mentally ill" is profoundly painful and degrading. Your intent doesn't matter; the effect is the same.

What will you tell your kid about a kid with anorexia? Is it degrading to say that the person is having emotional problems or is mentally ill? No, it’s reality. You live in la la land where everything is roses. It’s not. Kids can understand that without freaking out like you are.

Anorexia is not the same as transgenderism. Not logically, not consequentially, and not medically. You're trying to advance an agenda here.

My kids know everything in life isn't roses. They're reminded of that when they encounter people like you.

DP. You know, I could make an announcement too: "Transgenderism" is also a disease, as is Anorexia."

Does it make it true?

Your circular reasoning and begging the question is tiresome. Fact is, some people disagree with you about whether "transgenderism" is a disease, which may or may not be supported by the DSM. You can't even appreciate that there is room for disagreement, just insistence that you're right, accompanied by foot stomping and insults.

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You just deleted a post in which I made the correct factual statement that transgenderism is a mental disorder in the DSM? Pray tell, why?

Are you seriously going to tell a 6 year old that his friend is mentally ill based on what is listed in the DSM? Your statement may be factual, but it has little to do with the topic.

NP.

Yes, I would tell my six year old exactly that. Of course I would put it in six year old terms, but I would definitely explain what the DSM is and says, and what noted medical institutions such as Johns Hopkins says. I would also answer any other questions my six year old would come up with. I've had three six year olds, and all were thoughtful enough to handle it.

You can also explain to your child that his friend is not dangerous to him and others.

You are another poster who didn't read the thread and is only coming to this thread because you never miss an opportunity to whine about "liberal bias". Nobody believes that you would discuss the DSM with a six year old.

I posted earlier in this thread, but I would absolutely positively discuss this in scientific terms with my kids. I have explained it that way in relation to my bipolar brother. Whether or not the DSM is specifically mentioned is itrelevant. That is where I get my scientific information. And I do understand the DSM - I am not a psychiatrist but I am a doctor.

So yes, I do believe this poster (who is not me, btw) would most certainly discuss the DSM with a 6 year old.

You can believe what you want, but like other posters, you have contradicted yourself. We were discussing whether anyone would discuss the DSM with a six year old. Given that "DSM" is the actual thing we were discussing, I don't see how that could be irrelevant. Obviously, many of us might discuss complex issues such as mental illness with children. However, we -- including you apparently -- would use language that is age appropriate. No six year old would understand what an adult meant by the DSM. Moreover, by justifying her position by referencing the DSM, the OP of this thread caused the discussion to divert into a debate about her understanding of the DSM.

OP here. That is completely untrue, Jeff, as the actual post that you deleted but then managed to post here shows. I brought up the DSM in the actual thread because someone asked me why I considered the child’s behavior mental illness. I wasn’t diverting anything. A bunch of people jumped into this Website Feedback thread to argue with me about the DSM and is I responded. That’s not my fault. You continue to be completely off base about this discussion and totally stubborn about admitting it.

You can't ignore reality. I posted a three-post chain here showing that the discussion had already been diverted. None of the posts in that chain would help the OP of that thread address this issue with her child. As the forum moderator, it is completely normal and understandable that I would act to keep the discussion on track. Then, even after the discussion here, you returned and posted again about the DSM and caused another diversion. As a result the thread is locked. Anyone can go there and see your second diversion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you tell a child that his friend was "mentally ill". Why would tell a child his friend had "many problems"? Why would you suggest to a child that it's a "sad situation"?

If I knew you were telling your child that about ANY child, our children would no longer be friends. I work hard to teach my children unconditional love, compassion, acceptance, inclusivity, and most importantly, kindness. I hope the world is able to teach your children the important lessons that you are failing to teach. We already have far too much hate in our world.

Maybe in your world, lady, “mentally ill” or “emotional problems” is some horrible, awful, evil thing. It’s not in my world. It’s just reality. It’s not incompatible with love or compassion. Frankly, if you’re so darn open-minded, I question why you are attaching such stigma to these words.

+1000

Miss compassion and kindness knows nothing of which she preaches.

Pretty sure I do. I work with the LGTBQ community. One of my closet friends is a fairly well-known transgender woman. She is an author and a very successful executive at a huge, international corporation. The company paid for much of her surgery. My youngest child is gay. People like you have suggested being homosexual is an illness. People who are transgender are not mentally ill. They are not "sad". They are human beings just like you. Try compassion. You might be surprised by what you learn.

DP. Regardless of whether people who are transgender are "mentally ill," regarding homosexuality or transgenderism as a "mental illness" is not incompatible with compassion, nor is it dehumanizing. *You* want to twist it so that anyone who questions the normalization of being transgender automatically labelled hateful, but you fail to see that you're just shutting down legitimate debate and forbidding people from asking questions, which in the long run is arguably much more harmful to everyone.

No. I just think telling a child that their friend's situation is "sad," and that the friend "needs help" or "is sick" is awful. Just truly awful.

Why not say - "Michael feels more like a boy than a girl. So for now she is going to dress as a girl. And we will call her Michelle.". End of discussion. The great thing about young children is that they haven't learned to hate. At least I hope they haven't.

Then you fail to appreciate that there ARE opinions out there that do not align with yours, and that these opinions are not based in hate or disregard for the child/individual in question. And quite frankly, your saying "end of discussion" does not make it so. And nor should it.

NP: I don't think it matters whether your opinions are based on hate of or disregard for the child/individual in question. Either way, it has the same effect: labeling so central a part of someone's identity as "sad," "sick" or "mentally ill" is profoundly painful and degrading. Your intent doesn't matter; the effect is the same.

What will you tell your kid about a kid with anorexia? Is it degrading to say that the person is having emotional problems or is mentally ill? No, it’s reality. You live in la la land where everything is roses. It’s not. Kids can understand that without freaking out like you are.

Anorexia is not the same as transgenderism. Not logically, not consequentially, and not medically. You're trying to advance an agenda here.

My kids know everything in life isn't roses. They're reminded of that when they encounter people like you.

Actually it’s a type of body dysmorphia that could be compared to the gender dysphoria underlying transgenderism. Bottom line, it’s a mental disorder. I earlier compared it to bipolar disorder, too. They’re all disorders. My “agenda” is to express logical parenting advice about explaining these things to kids. What’s your “agenda”? If you disagree, that’s fine. Parent your kids how you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you tell a child that his friend was "mentally ill". Why would tell a child his friend had "many problems"? Why would you suggest to a child that it's a "sad situation"?

If I knew you were telling your child that about ANY child, our children would no longer be friends. I work hard to teach my children unconditional love, compassion, acceptance, inclusivity, and most importantly, kindness. I hope the world is able to teach your children the important lessons that you are failing to teach. We already have far too much hate in our world.

Maybe in your world, lady, “mentally ill” or “emotional problems” is some horrible, awful, evil thing. It’s not in my world. It’s just reality. It’s not incompatible with love or compassion. Frankly, if you’re so darn open-minded, I question why you are attaching such stigma to these words.

+1000

Miss compassion and kindness knows nothing of which she preaches.

Pretty sure I do. I work with the LGTBQ community. One of my closet friends is a fairly well-known transgender woman. She is an author and a very successful executive at a huge, international corporation. The company paid for much of her surgery. My youngest child is gay. People like you have suggested being homosexual is an illness. People who are transgender are not mentally ill. They are not "sad". They are human beings just like you. Try compassion. You might be surprised by what you learn.

The problem here is you seem to assume that if you believe that being transgender is a mental illness, than you cannot have compassion. I’m not quite sure where you get this from.

My daughters godmother - my best friend - is gay. I work in an HIV clinic, and a decent percentage of my patients are transgender.
I treat all of these people with kindness, respect and compassion. I love my best friend unconditionally. I treat my patients as if they were my family members.

Just because you do not think that metal issues are the root of their transgender identity does not make you more compassionate than me. Not by a long shot.

Congrats. Your "Most Superficially Compassionate" crown is in the mail. You can wear it while you continue to assume people's very identities are a sad mental illness.

If you mean “Superficially Compassionate Because She Doesn’t Agree with Me” then yes, I guess you’re right.
I didn’t realize compassion was conditional.

[Anonymous]

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You just deleted a post in which I made the correct factual statement that transgenderism is a mental disorder in the DSM? Pray tell, why?

Are you seriously going to tell a 6 year old that his friend is mentally ill based on what is listed in the DSM? Your statement may be factual, but it has little to do with the topic.

NP.

Yes, I would tell my six year old exactly that. Of course I would put it in six year old terms, but I would definitely explain what the DSM is and says, and what noted medical institutions such as Johns Hopkins says. I would also answer any other questions my six year old would come up with. I've had three six year olds, and all were thoughtful enough to handle it.

You can also explain to your child that his friend is not dangerous to him and others.

You are another poster who didn't read the thread and is only coming to this thread because you never miss an opportunity to whine about "liberal bias". Nobody believes that you would discuss the DSM with a six year old.

I posted earlier in this thread, but I would absolutely positively discuss this in scientific terms with my kids. I have explained it that way in relation to my bipolar brother. Whether or not the DSM is specifically mentioned is itrelevant. That is where I get my scientific information. And I do understand the DSM - I am not a psychiatrist but I am a doctor.

So yes, I do believe this poster (who is not me, btw) would most certainly discuss the DSM with a 6 year old.

You can believe what you want, but like other posters, you have contradicted yourself. We were discussing whether anyone would discuss the DSM with a six year old. Given that "DSM" is the actual thing we were discussing, I don't see how that could be irrelevant. Obviously, many of us might discuss complex issues such as mental illness with children. However, we -- including you apparently -- would use language that is age appropriate. No six year old would understand what an adult meant by the DSM. Moreover, by justifying her position by referencing the DSM, the OP of this thread caused the discussion to divert into a debate about her understanding of the DSM.

OP here. That is completely untrue, Jeff, as the actual post that you deleted but then managed to post here shows. I brought up the DSM in the actual thread because someone asked me why I considered the child’s behavior mental illness. I wasn’t diverting anything. A bunch of people jumped into this Website Feedback thread to argue with me about the DSM and is I responded. That’s not my fault. You continue to be completely off base about this discussion and totally stubborn about admitting it.

You can't ignore reality. I posted a three-post chain here showing that the discussion had already been diverted. None of the posts in that chain would help the OP of that thread address this issue with her child. As the forum moderator, it is completely normal and understandable that I would act to keep the discussion on track. Then, even after the discussion here, you returned and posted again about the DSM and caused another diversion. As a result the thread is locked. Anyone can go there and see your second diversion.

Anyone can read this thread and tell that you’re totally off base and trying to shut down reasonable disagreement.

Why the heck aren’t you blaming the poster who responded to me with some long-winded quote about the DSM definition (and didn’t say a damn thing about advice for parents) for diverting the thread and not me?

[Anonymous]

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You just deleted a post in which I made the correct factual statement that transgenderism is a mental disorder in the DSM? Pray tell, why?

Are you seriously going to tell a 6 year old that his friend is mentally ill based on what is listed in the DSM? Your statement may be factual, but it has little to do with the topic.

NP.

Yes, I would tell my six year old exactly that. Of course I would put it in six year old terms, but I would definitely explain what the DSM is and says, and what noted medical institutions such as Johns Hopkins says. I would also answer any other questions my six year old would come up with. I've had three six year olds, and all were thoughtful enough to handle it.

You can also explain to your child that his friend is not dangerous to him and others.

You are another poster who didn't read the thread and is only coming to this thread because you never miss an opportunity to whine about "liberal bias". Nobody believes that you would discuss the DSM with a six year old.

I posted earlier in this thread, but I would absolutely positively discuss this in scientific terms with my kids. I have explained it that way in relation to my bipolar brother. Whether or not the DSM is specifically mentioned is itrelevant. That is where I get my scientific information. And I do understand the DSM - I am not a psychiatrist but I am a doctor.

So yes, I do believe this poster (who is not me, btw) would most certainly discuss the DSM with a 6 year old.

+1

Same.

And I wonder at Jeff's nasty streak showing up at the PP who merely made a statement regarding how she would approach this subject with her child.

This deletion was inappropriate but it's hardly Jeff's first time at completely eliminating a point of view he doesn't want others to see or hear.

That poster joins almost every thread in which someone is upset with me to pile on. She has spent years criticizing my every action. She didn't read the thread we are discussing, never saw the post that was deleted, and has no interest in anything we are discussing other than taking one more opportunity to criticize me. You would get nasty after a while too if you had to put up with her.

Jeff, how old are you? Because you are extremely emotionally immature and you lash out so transparently.

FWIW, I have not been "criticizing your every action" nor have I spent "years" doing it. You must have me confused with someone else, or else there are more people like me with similar opinions o you. I describe what I have seen here, and it's sad that when you are clearly in the wrong, the only thing you know to do is throw out lies and made-up personal attacks.

Frankly it just shows that you have absolutely nothing substantive.