I'm going to fly across the country and try to get my long-distance ex boyfriend back AMA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, google "love addiction." It is real, and believe it or not, there are support groups out there, called SLAA. Google it and you will find the support you need.

Do you think it's possible that I could have love addiction if I've only ever been in love once?

[Anonymous]

OP, you made the right choice! Try and do some nice things for yourself during the rest of the holiday season.

You never know what the new year has in store for you.

[Anonymous]

Cheers to you, OP. Good decision. Wishing you better luck in 2018!

[Anonymous]

Thank you everyone for your support. Boy, 2017 is giving it to me right to the very end. The day before yesterday I had to get a new battery for my car as it wouldn't hold a charge and I had to jump it twice in one day. Then yesterday I locked myself out of the car (with phone, housekeys, jacket!! and wallet inside) at the post office when I jumped out to say hi to someone I know with my distracted breakup brain. When I finally got that straightened out later that afternoon a screw popped my tire. But I changed it all by myself!

Today I joined a new gym because I found out my insurance subsidizes it and went to a class which kicked my fat ass but it felt good to get some emotions out (which meant I was crying like a crazy person doing lunges and uppercuts and shit). Everyone was super nice and supportive and high-fivey and "great job" which I usually hate but I'll take any kindness I can right now.

The pain of it still hits me in the gut and it takes me a while to get it under control. I hope it gets better soon.

[Anonymous]

How was the sex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How was the sex?

Incredible compared to my only other partner. He brought out a side of me that I did not imagine I had.

[Anonymous]

He's blocked you on every channel?

I think this will end with a restraining order.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you handled this thread with such grace. I really admire you. I’m glad you aren’t going though. Get healthy and you will find an even better man who doesn’t bring out your neurosis so much! Good luck to you!

Another misandrist

What?! I am anything but. I just meant someone who is better *for her* who does not make her so crazy. I suffer from anxiety and I have had relationships in the past that brought out the worst in me. With my husband, on the other hand, I tend to feel calm and safe and that is why I knew we were right for each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's blocked you on every channel?

I think this will end with a restraining order.

I guess every channel was an exaggeration. He blocked my phone number and on google hangouts which we used regularly. I just meant it's very clear he does not want to speak to me. Technically I could still message him on Facebook, Instagram even though we're not friends - I'm the one who Unfriended/unfollowed - or snapchat or email. I've resisted, thankfully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How was the sex?

Incredible compared to my only other partner. He brought out a side of me that I did not imagine I had.

Well then. That settles that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oooh. Bad form to fight with someone sick. If I were you I'd send an Edible Arrangements and an apology first. Then get a reservation at a fancy restaurant and ask him to meet you there rather than show up at his door.

Or you could go as the Edible Arrangement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's blocked you on every channel?

I think this will end with a restraining order.

I guess every channel was an exaggeration. He blocked my phone number and on google hangouts which we used regularly. I just meant it's very clear he does not want to speak to me. Technically I could still message him on Facebook, Instagram even though we're not friends - I'm the one who Unfriended/unfollowed - or snapchat or email. I've resisted, thankfully.

good! keep ploughing along and things will get much better. in a year you will barely remember who that was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I'm glad everyone here talked me down. I cancelled my ticket.

I hadn't slept in two days or eaten and was probably manic of some kind. I do have mental health issues but bipolar has pretty much been ruled out by several mental health professionals. I suspect I do have borderline personality disorder and have for a long time. I did ask my psychiatrist and she sort of brushed me off, but I took it upon myself to go around her and enroll in a DBT program because it's obvious that I need help. The program is totally covered by my insurance so I have nothing to lose. If there's any chance for me and the man in question to be together I need to get healthy and focus on myself.

I probably would have gone through with it if not for the anonymous shame of DCUM. You guys can be dicks but you really helped me and I appreciate it.

Disappointed! This was going to be my "Love, Actually" of 2017.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's awesome and romantic. Sure, it might backfire. He'll, his live-in GF might even answer the door but she'll always wonder if she doesn't try. If it blows up, she has closure and can move on.

Good for you OP! If he gives you the chance, rock his world. Guys always fall for great sex.

Life is not Sleepless in Seattle. Assuming OP is the normal one, she should have some pride and self respect - not to mention respect for his decision - and move along. There is nothing romantic about becoming a desperate stalker. That she's even considering this leads me to question whether she is in fact normal.

When you have tremendous feelings for someone, it comes out in everything, including break ups. You overreact and go to extremes. Sometimes both are scared to make the next move after a blow out and wind up wondering for years what might have been. OP was going to answer that question. I see nothing wrong with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's awesome and romantic. Sure, it might backfire. He'll, his live-in GF might even answer the door but she'll always wonder if she doesn't try. If it blows up, she has closure and can move on.

Good for you OP! If he gives you the chance, rock his world. Guys always fall for great sex.

Life is not Sleepless in Seattle. Assuming OP is the normal one, she should have some pride and self respect - not to mention respect for his decision - and move along. There is nothing romantic about becoming a desperate stalker. That she's even considering this leads me to question whether she is in fact normal.

When you have tremendous feelings for someone, it comes out in everything, including break ups. You overreact and go to extremes. Sometimes both are scared to make the next move after a blow out and wind up wondering for years what might have been. OP was going to answer that question. I see nothing wrong with that.

I haven't abandoned the idea of going to visit him completely. I will likely travel back to the area for a funeral early in the year (it makes me sound terribly callous that I'm even framing like that, but that's where I'm at right now) and I will ask if he will see me. If he will take me back I'll move back to the area in May (the plan was always to go back, for me above all because where I live is soul-killing) on an expedited timeline. We were so good together when I was there and I think there's a chance we could get it back, but if not, at least there's a TON of fish in the sea there. The only fish here are racist rednecks.