S/O people who think tattoos are trashy (or not)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Not that pp. This is all well and good, but we all make snap judgements. Behavioral scientists say it’s how we make it through our days with a zillion decisions to make.

I don’t have time to ponder the existential meaning of your tattoo when I’ve got to finish this project, figure out what to make for dinner and whether we have the necessary ingredients, drive safely to and from work, talk with DH about planning that vacation, get DCs to finish their summer reading and start getting school supplies, talk to my sick mom’s health aides, and so much more.

Nobody is asking you to.

As you say, you're plenty busy. (Aside from having the time to post on DCUM.) So why waste the mental energy on anybody's tattoo at all?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Sure about that? I work for a major tech company.

And you exclude people from hiring because they have tattoos? That seems problematic.

I am the pp who thinks many posters are out of touch with times, and reality in many companies. We have bunch of people with visible tattoos and nobody having problems with that, most people actually think it's cool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And why is it wrong to look edgy and cool, and color my hair pink? Why do I have to follow your standards of beauty and wear your preppy shit?

It's not wrong if you want me to hire you. You don't have to follow my standards if you don't want to be hired. Doubtless you'll easily find a less judgmental hiring manager.

Anonymous wrote:And why is it wrong to look edgy and cool, and color my hair pink? Why do I have to follow your standards of beauty and wear your preppy shit? I don't judge you for your clothing choices I expect you do the same. But the most judgmental people usually the ones who look so "right".

Erm, actually, yes you do judge me for my appearance and clothing choices. You called my clothes "preppy shit" and put my "right" appearance in scare quotes. Sounds pretty judgy to me. #SelfAwarenessFail

You are a decade behind on hiring. You might become too old for new industries too quickly with your old mindset.

Not that pp, but you really are full of it. And clueless. Sorry for judging.

Sure about that? I work for a major tech company.

And I work in a senior position at a think tank you’ve heard of. Enjoy debugging somebody else’s code or whatever it is that you do. (Again, not the pp you’re trying to slam.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Not that pp. This is all well and good, but we all make snap judgements. Behavioral scientists say it’s how we make it through our days with a zillion decisions to make.

I don’t have time to ponder the existential meaning of your tattoo when I’ve got to finish this project, figure out what to make for dinner and whether we have the necessary ingredients, drive safely to and from work, talk with DH about planning that vacation, get DCs to finish their summer reading and start getting school supplies, talk to my sick mom’s health aides, and so much more.

Nobody is asking you to.

As you say, you're plenty busy. (Aside from having the time to post on DCUM.) So why waste the mental energy on anybody's tattoo at all?

Point is, snap judgements are an essential part of life in 2018. You can’t escape them. Telling people not to judge your tattoo is useless.

[Anonymous]

UMC, I guess? Maybe UC, depending on how one counts such things, but certainly not rich for the DMV. I have a JD and DH has a JD and Ph.D. I'm a fed. My parents were both professionals; his were more middle class.

While there are some tattoos I actively like and others I actively dislike, "trashy" is not a judgment I tend to make, at least not based on tattoos. not that I don't judge the aesthetics of a thing - guy who used to live on my block with the teardrop tattoos is legitimately kinda scary (which I assume was the purpose), and the tiny unicorn on a girls ankle is kinda silly and not my style. a friend has a really amazing full sleeve that I think is gorgeous but I wouldn't get myself (looks like leaves and thorns and birds or something). other friends have tattoos of their kids initials, a tribute to their decease relative, a Sanskrit om, a favorite lyric. Some I like; some seem a bit silly and/or not my style. Another friend bought a tattoo gun and commenced giving himself terrible tattoos - a pirate flag, a girlfriends name, etc. Did similar things for friends but it was definitely not my style. And kinda unhygienic, frankly. I have vague plans to get a tattoo for my 40th birthday - somewhere discrete.

Aside: I am the worlds most boring fed lawyer and most of my friends are similarly vanilla. Tattoos are kind of normal. there is a lawyer in my section and an IT supervisor in the building who both have full sleeves. IT guy has some neck tattoos. I know of at least 8 attorneys in the office with more discrete tattoos; I bet there are more. In other words, tattoos are totally normal in this setting. My kid's preschool teacher a couple of years ago had full sleeves on both arms. That struck me as unusual, I guess. I definitely noticed, anyway, but didn't think anything as a result.

Recently I moved away from the DMV and I see fewer tattoos on the professional set down here but it is possible they are just all more discrete.

[Anonymous]

Eh, I don't care. Many tattoos are very unattractive and a few I have seen are gorgeous and the tattooist was an artist.

Usually they don't add much to a person's appearance unless the person is (1) not attractive at all to begin with and (2) the tattoos are designed to call attention to an attractive part of their body.

Many public facing jobs will not allow the employee to have visible tattoos, but some will. I think the military has rules about tattoos, and many other organizations do as well.

It's best to wait to get a tattoo that is visible under regular work clothes until you know what path you might want to follow in life.

Several former coworkers had to wear long sleeves, socks or opaque tights, and long pants or skirts in 100 degree weather because they have been forbidden to show tattoos at work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Point is, snap judgements are an essential part of life in 2018. You can’t escape them. Telling people not to judge your tattoo is useless.

No. Or, at least, certainly snap judgments about people's tattoos, or other parts of their aesthetic presentation, are not an essential part of life in 2018 (or any other time). But if you want to make them, I can't stop you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Point is, snap judgements are an essential part of life in 2018. You can’t escape them. Telling people not to judge your tattoo is useless.

No. Or, at least, certainly snap judgments about people's tattoos, or other parts of their aesthetic presentation, are not an essential part of life in 2018 (or any other time). But if you want to make them, I can't stop you.

Yes, fact. There’s a lot of behavioral research that shows that each of us makes 1000s of decisions a day, starting when you wake up. (When to get out of bed, where to put your feet on the floor, brush teeth or shower first, need more shampoo?) Snap judgements are the only way any of us gets through the day. Your tattoo may be important to you, but you really can’t expect everybody else to elevate it to the level of the 50 decisions they have to make about breakfast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And why is it wrong to look edgy and cool, and color my hair pink? Why do I have to follow your standards of beauty and wear your preppy shit?

It's not wrong if you want me to hire you. You don't have to follow my standards if you don't want to be hired. Doubtless you'll easily find a less judgmental hiring manager.

Anonymous wrote:And why is it wrong to look edgy and cool, and color my hair pink? Why do I have to follow your standards of beauty and wear your preppy shit? I don't judge you for your clothing choices I expect you do the same. But the most judgmental people usually the ones who look so "right".

Erm, actually, yes you do judge me for my appearance and clothing choices. You called my clothes "preppy shit" and put my "right" appearance in scare quotes. Sounds pretty judgy to me. #SelfAwarenessFail

You are a decade behind on hiring. You might become too old for new industries too quickly with your old mindset.

Should we add “defensive” and “keeps missing the point” to the traits associated with tattoos?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Point is, snap judgements are an essential part of life in 2018. You can’t escape them. Telling people not to judge your tattoo is useless.

No. Or, at least, certainly snap judgments about people's tattoos, or other parts of their aesthetic presentation, are not an essential part of life in 2018 (or any other time). But if you want to make them, I can't stop you.

Yes, fact. There’s a lot of behavioral research that shows that each of us makes 1000s of decisions a day, starting when you wake up. (When to get out of bed, where to put your feet on the floor, brush teeth or shower first, need more shampoo?) Snap judgements are the only way any of us gets through the day. Your tattoo may be important to you, but you really can’t expect everybody else to elevate it to the level of the 50 decisions they have to make about breakfast.

I don't have a tattoo.

People do not have to make snap judgments about tattoos. I know this for a fact, because I don't. If you do, that's your choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Point is, snap judgements are an essential part of life in 2018. You can’t escape them. Telling people not to judge your tattoo is useless.

No. Or, at least, certainly snap judgments about people's tattoos, or other parts of their aesthetic presentation, are not an essential part of life in 2018 (or any other time). But if you want to make them, I can't stop you.

Yes, fact. There’s a lot of behavioral research that shows that each of us makes 1000s of decisions a day, starting when you wake up. (When to get out of bed, where to put your feet on the floor, brush teeth or shower first, need more shampoo?) Snap judgements are the only way any of us gets through the day. Your tattoo may be important to you, but you really can’t expect everybody else to elevate it to the level of the 50 decisions they have to make about breakfast.

I don't have a tattoo.

People do not have to make snap judgments about tattoos. I know this for a fact, because I don't. If you do, that's your choice.

New PP. No, snap judgements are subconscious. It's not a choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

New PP. No, snap judgements are subconscious. It's not a choice.

Oh good grief. If you want to be judgy about tattoos, then go ahead. Just please don't justify it by saying that everyone does it (not everyone does) or that you can't help it (you can) or that it's the fault of the people with tattoos (it's not) or that judgment about tattoos is factually justified (it's not).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Point is, snap judgements are an essential part of life in 2018. You can’t escape them. Telling people not to judge your tattoo is useless.

No. Or, at least, certainly snap judgments about people's tattoos, or other parts of their aesthetic presentation, are not an essential part of life in 2018 (or any other time). But if you want to make them, I can't stop you.

Yes, fact. There’s a lot of behavioral research that shows that each of us makes 1000s of decisions a day, starting when you wake up. (When to get out of bed, where to put your feet on the floor, brush teeth or shower first, need more shampoo?) Snap judgements are the only way any of us gets through the day. Your tattoo may be important to you, but you really can’t expect everybody else to elevate it to the level of the 50 decisions they have to make about breakfast.

I don't have a tattoo.

People do not have to make snap judgments about tattoos. I know this for a fact, because I don't. If you do, that's your choice.

New PP. No, snap judgements are subconscious. It's not a choice.

+1. Why should I ponder someone's tattoo instead of what to make for dinner? Let my subconscious handle the random, small stuff. I’ll override it when it comes to bigger issues of race, gender, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

New PP. No, snap judgements are subconscious. It's not a choice.

Oh good grief. If you want to be judgy about tattoos, then go ahead. Just please don't justify it by saying that everyone does it (not everyone does) or that you can't help it (you can) or that it's the fault of the people with tattoos (it's not) or that judgment about tattoos is factually justified (it's not).

DP.

Whoosh. You don’t get it. Most people don’t care enough about your tattoo to do anything more than make snap judgements about the style, placement, and underlying motive. Asking them to stop and spend five minutes thinking about your tattoo is not just egotistical, it’s totally unrealistic given peoples’ time constraints and propensity to make snap judgements.

Your tattoo will be judged. Maybe not by anybody here (and why are you making these general observations so personal?). But by the bigger world for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

+1. Why should I ponder someone's tattoo instead of what to make for dinner? Let my subconscious handle the random, small stuff. I’ll override it when it comes to bigger issues of race, gender, etc.

Who's asking you to?