How do you develop a self-motivated child? A kindergartener who can work independently?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Agree. Refusing to participate and not doing work when the child is capable of doing it is not a maturity issue. Op mentioned that she does not want her child "labeled", well, it sounds like he has already been labeled as having behavioral issues.

Strongly disagree. Of course, I do not know this child, but he sounds like a classic example of needing another year. signed: Teacher of Kindergarten and First grade (taught hundreds of kids over the years)

This is why teachers don't diagnose kids. A child who refuses to engage and participate in class needs an evaluation to see whether the kid has developmental issues. Telling a parent that this is simply a maturity issue without getting the kid evaluated is irresponsible. At the very worst, an evaluation can reveal that it is a maturity issue and OP can go on her merry way. If it turns out to be something more, then her child will get help.

OP's reluctance to get the kid evaluated is bizarre when she clearly states that something isn't right. It appears that she's happier believing that her K child is unmotivated and has character issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:agree maturity. My son (pk4) just vibes in a big group. Kinda watches others but mostly just experiences being around so many squirmy bodies. He's made NO progress in Montessori curriculum. He just kinda hangs out. Follows teacher around. Halfheartedly does his work while watching others. I'm not too worried. He's a late june birthday and just a young young 4.

I am reading this thread with interest. I have a child with a birthday in the first week of September. Currently 4 years old and is in Montessori and is doing nothing, learning nothing. No progress at all, just as you mentioned, PP. This thread is helping me feel more confident in my decision to not send her to K next year.

[Anonymous]

K is about learning to read, write and do basic math.

Until a decade ago, this was first grade. K was to get the kids ready. Sure, some learned to do that, but they learned it through play. K should also help to develop a love of school. That is sure changing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

K is about learning to read, write and do basic math.

Until a decade ago, this was first grade. K was to get the kids ready. Sure, some learned to do that, but they learned it through play. K should also help to develop a love of school. That is sure changing.

Yep... because the world is rapidly changing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

K is about learning to read, write and do basic math.

Until a decade ago, this was first grade. K was to get the kids ready. Sure, some learned to do that, but they learned it through play. K should also help to develop a love of school. That is sure changing.

Yep... because the world is rapidly changing.

That doesn't actually make sense. The world may be "rapidly changing," if you mean that factory jobs are gone, but children's brains aren't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

K is about learning to read, write and do basic math.

Until a decade ago, this was first grade. K was to get the kids ready. Sure, some learned to do that, but they learned it through play. K should also help to develop a love of school. That is sure changing.

It's already changed, year before Common Core.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

K is about learning to read, write and do basic math.

Until a decade ago, this was first grade. K was to get the kids ready. Sure, some learned to do that, but they learned it through play. K should also help to develop a love of school. That is sure changing.

Yep... because the world is rapidly changing.

That doesn't actually make sense. The world may be "rapidly changing," if you mean that factory jobs are gone, but children's brains aren't.

Well, that's the point of contention, isn't it? Are most kids' at this age able to learn do so, or did society decide a long time that it wasn't necessary for kids that young to learn to read/write at this age so they didn't teach it?

Since our society has changed from 50 yrs ago, we need to review the mindset that kids are not able to learn at this age. In the upper SES areas, you will find most kids are able to read/write at some level by end of K, so we find in that particular pocket, most kids are able to. I know in the lower income SES there are a lot of kids that have a hard time learning it in K, but is it because they are not "developmentally ready", or because they don't have the support at home to do so?

You will find that even 10 yr olds who don't have a good support system at home or don't speak the language will have a harder time reading at a 4th/5th grade level. Are their brains not ready to read at the level? No, it's because of where they are coming from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:agree maturity. My son (pk4) just vibes in a big group. Kinda watches others but mostly just experiences being around so many squirmy bodies. He's made NO progress in Montessori curriculum. He just kinda hangs out. Follows teacher around. Halfheartedly does his work while watching others. I'm not too worried. He's a late june birthday and just a young young 4.

I am reading this thread with interest. I have a child with a birthday in the first week of September. Currently 4 years old and is in Montessori and is doing nothing, learning nothing. No progress at all, just as you mentioned, PP. This thread is helping me feel more confident in my decision to not send her to K next year.

Then what does she do in class? Maybe you should change to a different preschool next year?

[Anonymous]

What is the advantage to learning to read early? I agree there is a great advantage to having all kinds of knowledge exposure and vocabulary. But, reading early does not mean a lot.

[Anonymous]

Is it an immersion school or dual language? Is it Chinese or Spanish? If it is a Chinese immersion program, your child may just not be developmentally ready yet for the program. I'd hold him back a year. If it's Spanish and dual language - I'd probably get additional support, but maybe move forward.

Can you tell us more about the program?

[Anonymous]

If it's Spanish and dual language - I'd probably get additional support, but maybe move forward.

If you move forward with additional support, OP, be prepared to provide additional support for many years to come.

[Anonymous]

NP here, and I too would love to hear what sort of immersion program your child is in, our DS is going through similar issues (although he also withdrawing socially too) and we're concerned it may be the language piece of it (Spanish, we're non Spanish speakers at home)/

[Anonymous]

How is his attention doing other things (music, sports?) At the very least, doing such activities would be good practice...

[Anonymous]

Since our society has changed from 50 yrs ago, we need to review the mindset that kids are not able to learn at this age.

Who has the mindset that kids are not able to learn at this age? They are very able to learn. The question is: what should they be taught?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
DS is capable of doing all class assignments. He knows the stuff. The problem is that he blanks out in class and just shuts down when papers are passed around and his classmates all get to work.

At the last parent/teacher meeting, I saw that the other kids had large stacks of in-class work that they'd completed. My son's "stack" was just a few pages. He really hasn't been doing the work, despite his command of the material.

I've been working on getting him to be more independent with homework assignments. I'll leave him to complete a page (five questions) while I check on something in the kitchen. He's been doing much better about not needing someone there with him to hover and facilitate each task.

This has NOT translated into better classwork however. I swing between heartbreak and tremendous anger. He knows the stuff. He has a strong mind. He simply refuses to participate. I am so afraid that 1) he's going to be labelled, and 2) he's going to be left behind the moment he enters first grade.

Please, please offer what tactics you've employed to encourage better classroom behavior and work habits in your little one.

Did he go to Montessori?
It took our kid 2 years to do his ES homework and participate with the class on the same thing. The "pick what you want to do today thing" really got to his head!