How did you find a family-oriented husband?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I withheld sex for nine months and when DH was still there, I thought, "he must be very family-oriented to suffer through that."

He hinted at sex several times a week during the first four or five months. I just sent out "no signals" without ever telling him "no" directly. Then he just stopped asking, "would you consent to marital relations?"

At that point I knew I had a family-oriented man as opposed to a real man.

Now I have two kids who look just like the guy who grabbed me by the face and kissed me.

My family-oriented man has never asked. We're very happy. Just ask me.

This makes no sense.

It's call back to a couple of other threads. But basically it's declaring that women want "alpha fucks & beta bucks" -- in other words, they like having sex with assholes but living with and off of wimps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Met in grad school. He is Midwestern, and that is the way to go. Midwestern men are generally sweet, calm, responsible, polite, and family-oriented. I recommend!

The other thing I did was, starting at 25, started being very up-front that I wanted to have kids in my early 30s. Lots of men ran for the hills, and those who remained were of higher quality. I was very disciplined about not wasting time dating people who were incompatible with me, treated me badly, or didn't want a family.

Other key factors:
Says he wants kids and is happy to discuss the topic.
Is conscientious and responsible, yet easygoing and flexible.
Doesn't need much sleep-- this is key!
Not a slacker professionally, but not trying to become a Cabinet secretary or anything.
Basic cooking and home maintenance skills. Able to manage the basics of life with plenty of time left over.
Enjoys nieces and nephews, and takes family responsibilities seriously. Eg, calls home regularly, visits old people in the nursing home, that kind of thing.

Very much agree about the midwestern thing. Both my father and my husband are midwesterners. They're just a different type of guy than the assholes you can meet around here. And I say that to someone who grew up in this area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Met in grad school. He is Midwestern, and that is the way to go. Midwestern men are generally sweet, calm, responsible, polite, and family-oriented. I recommend!

The other thing I did was, starting at 25, started being very up-front that I wanted to have kids in my early 30s. Lots of men ran for the hills, and those who remained were of higher quality. I was very disciplined about not wasting time dating people who were incompatible with me, treated me badly, or didn't want a family.

Other key factors:
Says he wants kids and is happy to discuss the topic.
Is conscientious and responsible, yet easygoing and flexible.
Doesn't need much sleep-- this is key!
Not a slacker professionally, but not trying to become a Cabinet secretary or anything.
Basic cooking and home maintenance skills. Able to manage the basics of life with plenty of time left over.
Enjoys nieces and nephews, and takes family responsibilities seriously. Eg, calls home regularly, visits old people in the nursing home, that kind of thing.

Very much agree about the midwestern thing. Both my father and my husband are midwesterners. They're just a different type of guy than the assholes you can meet around here. And I say that to someone who grew up in this area.

As someone, not to someone. Need coffee.