Telling MIL she cannot bring iPad to our house at Christmas?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men tend to marry women who are like their moms. That's probably why it seems like their are so many scary MIL's out there. We're only hearing one side of the story, and it takes one to know one.

This! As a mother of boys, I feel like I can breathe a little easier because mine have never really been exposed to that kind of high maintenance drama type person in any kind of loving way- they are always kind of the cautionary tale, or someone that they feel for because they are making problems for themselves, or not enjoying life/ embracing life.

I can 100% see how a man can fall for a controlling or dramatic/over the top woman, and ignore those qualities or not see them as red flags if they have a mother who had those traits, because at the end of the day, most people still love their mothers and those traits then either seem normal or "not that bad".

Then again I've known people from normal families to end up with one wackadoo BIL or SIL of course, so its a crap shoot.

I have only 1 aunt that has all boys and I try to model after her- they are young men and incredibly close to her and she's wonderful with their girlfriends. My own MIL has only boys and is a very nice MIL, but she isn't particularly close with her boys.

[Anonymous]

OP, I agree you can't really tell her not to bring the ipad, but I understand why you'd want to. I like all of the "diplomatic" solutions posted above, like letting her bring the ipad but enforcing family rules for no devices at meals, maintaining the kids' screen time limits, etc. But I just think it is going to create so much stress and conflict to try and enforce them, and every meal or everytime your kid looks at an app is an occasion to be angry. SOunds like a rough way to spend Christmas.

OP, I don't know if your MIL is overall a reasonable person or not, but I will give her the benefit of the doubt and say she probably isn't trying to be disrespectful or make your life difficult. I would have your DH talk to her, once, in advance of the trip, and in a very non-confrontational way, ask her to please limit the amount of screen time she allows your children to have. That's all he can really ask. But hopefully having to enforce that will make it hard for her to have hte damn thing out all day, or at the very least it will make her realize what she is doing.

Finally, does your DH have a brother/sister, OP? (THe parents of these other grandchildren your MIL is always skyping?) Can your DH enlist their assistance in making sure their kids are "busy" a lot during the holidays?

Most importantly, remember, it MUST BE YOUR DH who talks to your MIL, BIL, SIL, etc. about any of this. Otherwise prepare for it all to go terrribly wrong and blow up in your face.

[Anonymous]

My sister probably thinks I am totally addicted to my iPhone. The twice yearly times I see her, I stay plastered to it in every way possiBle.


If I don't, I will murder her. She barely talks to me and when she does, it is to bitch. Her children are great, but interested in their own things and so we don't interact a ton.

Maybe op, you are unpleasant or boring, and the iPad is a defense mechanism.