I would rather someone seeking to become an adoptive mom give a home to one of the multitude of children who need one. If I put a baby up for adoption, I am just adding one more to the system, which is already bursting at the seams. |
Honey, you must not know ANYONE who has gone thru the adoption process. Go on some adoption website some time and educate yourself. Potential adoptive parents are going crazy trying to figure out where and how to find a child to adopt. Get out of your pro-adoption bubble and open your eyes. |
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"There are seemingly not enough!"
Are you serious with this? There are thousands of children awaiting homes. There just may not be enough pretty, non-disabled, white babies for you. I promise that if you want to adopt, there are foster children who would be placed in a hot minute. Don't ask me to incubate for you. |
Potential adoptive parents of desirable babies. |
I adopted a non-white, special-needs child -- an OLDER child (3) (gasp) -- and we have the same "requirements" for #2 -- and I am telling you FROM EXPERIENCE that it took multiple years. You are just spouting what you have heard people say about the adoption process. IT IS NOT THE SAME. |
See below. The child we adopted was older (age 3), non-white, had a special need. We are looking for the same for#2. |
You people just do not know how adoption works. I think that's why birth moms do not consider adoption. They THINK they do. They THINK they know adoption, but they are acting based upon what they have heard colloquially and therefore, choose not to give their child a life and a new home, but just get rid of it and move. They think that is the "kinder choice" for the child. Sheesh, I'm glad I'm not your children!!!! |
It sounds as though you are ready to adopt unconditionally - you will accept and love the baby no matter what. FES, genetic issues, HIV infected, drug addicted...you will love and raise that child regardless. In all fairness, do you think that all adoptive parents would accept such challenges? Or would the pool of such adoptive parents be fairly small and maybe not even available for some special needs babies.. |
I am very much pro choice but I too would like to find ways to encourage more women to consider putting their babies up for adoption. We are lucky and able to concieve with one round of IVF. We did look into adopting and were bascially told that if we wanted 1) an infant 2) a healthy infant and 3) a healhty white infant (we are white)..then we need to be prepared for a nationwide search and upwards of 75k in legal fees, be prepared to take up residency requirements in another state if needed, allow some openess even "visitation" with birth mother and most painful of all, depending on the state, be prepared to hand the baby back over in three months. The whole process is a nightmare and even if we did throw that much money at the adoption it could still take 3-5 years. Yes, of course people told us to adopt frm foster care. But most kids in foster care are actually not eligible for adoption. Worse, you get completely attached and then you know they are going to be taken away and put rigght back in an abusive home. I thank god everyday for my daughter. At this point, I think we need to 1) limit the time a birth mother can change her mind-maybe 3 days instead of 3 months and 2) just call a spade a spade and pay the birth mother and not pretend its just "expenses"-.... If 1000 white infants were available tomorrow for adoption, I know every single one would be adopted in a day or so. Same for AA infants...but a lot of folks don't allow for interacial adoptions. The whole systems is excruciating and painful. |
You don't have to incubate for ME. You do have to incubate for the child whom you have created, yes. I am pro-choice up to the moment of conception and then, after that, the choice has been made and, from there, you have a choice to keep the child and make an adoption plan. I am pro all either of these choices. |
If you're going to share anecdotes, I know more than a few families who've adopted special needs kids fairly quickly, as in were placed with a child almost immediately upon completing the screening process. In those cases, they were adopting domestically, and open to non-white, special needs and older kids. The screening process took over a year for sure. Also, these adoptions were not in the DC area - one was in SC, one in TX and one in CA, so maybe the "supply" is greater in other states.
Regardless, I think it's more traumatic for a young woman to go through pregnancy and giving up a child for adoption than an abortion, hands down. So, yes, let's support these young women who want to make that choice, but don't make it sound like it's a walk in the park to "just have it." |
This is off topic- but I'm curious as to what the adoptive moms think is the problem if there are over 100,000 kids in the foster system classified as "awaiting adoption" and there is a apparently a pool of parents eagerly awaiting them. |
So no terminations of ectopic pregnancies in your world? Too bad I'd be too dead to make an adoption plan. |
I don't think you understand what pro-choice means. |