NCS Parents - "I wish I had known x" type advice.

[Anonymous]

I asked my DD who is an NCS alum and totally hates the school whether or not it was worth it given her college admissions success. She paused before saying "No." At the end of both 6th and 9th grade, she didn't want to go through the process of applying out so she remained at NCS and eventually became a scholar-athlete. She found a sport that she loved and focused intensely on it and her studies. Who knows if she would have been just as successful and happier at another school.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP. I have just reread your question and will try to limit my answer to your question ie what do I wish I had known.

I wish I had known that the Head of School was full of sh*t when she said that the school wants girls who will become leaders and their "authentic" self. Bunch of hogwash. They do not encourage risk taking at all. The girls choices are extremely narrow and so is the tolerance for other points of view.

That is what I wish I knew. The education is quite good but the ethos is not. I actually believe that the school sees the girls as promotional tools for their own ends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The damage control squad have arrived.

Non-NCS poster here, just to note that those with a negative view of the school have fully aired their views -- no need to shut down anybody who has had a good experience from posting.

LOL, Non-NCS poster. Yet you're posting.

What does your post even mean, laugher?

[Anonymous]

So much anger. Hope everyone has a better year next year.

[Anonymous]

pp Anger?

[Anonymous]

Not sure why so many people seem to have bad experiences at this school. My daughter just came to NCS from public school, and so far all she talks about is how nice all of the girls are and how welcoming they have been. There are many different types of girls there, so it seems that most are able to find at least a few who are like-minded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP. I have just reread your question and will try to limit my answer to your question ie what do I wish I had known.

I wish I had known that the Head of School was full of sh*t when she said that the school wants girls who will become leaders and their "authentic" self. Bunch of hogwash. They do not encourage risk taking at all. The girls choices are extremely narrow and so is the tolerance for other points of view.

That is what I wish I knew. The education is quite good but the ethos is not. I actually believe that the school sees the girls as promotional tools for their own ends.

In a nutshell this is the reason why my daughter became totally turned off to the school.

And, I agree with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP. I have just reread your question and will try to limit my answer to your question ie what do I wish I had known.

I wish I had known that the Head of School was full of sh*t when she said that the school wants girls who will become leaders and their "authentic" self. Bunch of hogwash. They do not encourage risk taking at all. The girls choices are extremely narrow and so is the tolerance for other points of view.

That is what I wish I knew. The education is quite good but the ethos is not. I actually believe that the school sees the girls as promotional tools for their own ends.

In a nutshell this is the reason why my daughter became totally turned off to the school.

And, I agree with you.

That's not my view of the school -- it doesn't mean your view isn't valid for you, but we saw a lot of different pathways encouraged for the girls, within the overall framework of this being an academically rigorous school. I emphatically disagree that the school is not trying to do its best for the girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure why so many people seem to have bad experiences at this school. My daughter just came to NCS from public school, and so far all she talks about is how nice all of the girls are and how welcoming they have been. There are many different types of girls there, so it seems that most are able to find at least a few who are like-minded.

NP. My daughter also just came to NCS from a public school and she loves it. I'm not saying that for damage control, but just to share my experience.

In terms of "I wish I had known x" type advice, I would advise that when you visit NCS (or any other school) that you take seriously whatever vibe you and daughter feel about that school. If it doesn't feel great, don't go there regardless of how much "cache" it has.

And as an aside, if your kid really hates the school she is in, find another school that she will love. I'm sure it is at out there. "Not wanting to go through the process of applying out" does not seem like a good reason for staying in a school you hate.

[Anonymous]

DD loves NCS. She has been there since 4th grade. Lots of nice girls, very committed teachers, caring administration. Certain percentage of girls who my daughter is luke warm about and doesn't hang out with, which would occur at any school. Great college placement, hard working students, really no complaints....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure why so many people seem to have bad experiences at this school. My daughter just came to NCS from public school, and so far all she talks about is how nice all of the girls are and how welcoming they have been. There are many different types of girls there, so it seems that most are able to find at least a few who are like-minded.

NP. My daughter also just came to NCS from a public school and she loves it. I'm not saying that for damage control, but just to share my experience.

In terms of "I wish I had known x" type advice, I would advise that when you visit NCS (or any other school) that you take seriously whatever vibe you and daughter feel about that school. If it doesn't feel great, don't go there regardless of how much "cache" it has.

And as an aside, if your kid really hates the school she is in, find another school that she will love. I'm sure it is at out there. "Not wanting to go through the process of applying out" does not seem like a good reason for staying in a school you hate.

Your daughter just came to NCS so is your aside really valid? Some families choose to stick it out rather then putting their dd through applying out so close to the college admission process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I graduated from NCS in the late 90's. I started there in 7th grade, coming from Blessed Sacrament.

I hated it - although my parents were fairly well off, they didn't spoil me. Many of the girls openly made fun of me for being "poor." I didn't have the right car, or the right clothes. I couldn't buy the right CD's. We didn't go to summer vacation in the right places. I never had a boyfriend from STA so people called me a lesbian. I was an "average student" - B+ GPA - and I wasn't allowed to apply to the colleges I wanted to because other girls were given the spots there. My father had taught at Princeton, Yale, and Harvard - but they were off the table for me despite my connection to them. Yes, I may not have gotten in, but I think I should have been able to try.

All that being said, I know some girls who loved it. They fit in with the in crowd, and they are still tight with their friends (I see all of them in each other's wedding parties on Facebook).

I'm not sure if the middle school and high school years are a good time for many girls - so maybe it's just a bad time. I don't think the administration at NCS particularly helps to make everyone feel like they fit in (at least back when I was there).

Thank you for posting. So if you had it to do all over again, would you go to NCS?

No, I would not. We live in DC now and I wouldn't encourage my daughter to go there (that is, if we could even afford it). If the desire or need to go Private ever comes up for my kids I will be curious to see how all these schools are now. I worry that when a school costs $40k + you aren't going end up with very much diversity (ethnic or socioeconomic.) My hope is that our kids can go to public school - my husband went public all the way in California and believes very strongly in it. We'll see.....!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure why so many people seem to have bad experiences at this school. My daughter just came to NCS from public school, and so far all she talks about is how nice all of the girls are and how welcoming they have been. There are many different types of girls there, so it seems that most are able to find at least a few who are like-minded.

NP. My daughter also just came to NCS from a public school and she loves it. I'm not saying that for damage control, but just to share my experience.

In terms of "I wish I had known x" type advice, I would advise that when you visit NCS (or any other school) that you take seriously whatever vibe you and daughter feel about that school. If it doesn't feel great, don't go there regardless of how much "cache" it has.

And as an aside, if your kid really hates the school she is in, find another school that she will love. I'm sure it is at out there. "Not wanting to go through the process of applying out" does not seem like a good reason for staying in a school you hate.

Your daughter just came to NCS so is your aside really valid? Some families choose to stick it out rather then putting their dd through applying out so close to the college admission process.

I don't think the prior poster meant it as a slam -- it is certainly a big deal to re-apply, change schools, etc. However, one prior poster whose daughter seemed very unhappy there said that they thought about applying out as of 7th grade and decided against it. None of this is easy -- being an adolescent of either sex is not easy; being a girl might be even a little harder in some ways; and at these fast-paced schools with high achieving kids and high-achieving, often anxious parents, to boot. Who is to say the new school won't have some or all of the same issues? I've heard of "mean girls," social pressures, drug use, aggressive parents at every private school (and most of the publics) in this area. (And my public "junior high" back in the day had an intensely dominant clacque of mean girls before we even knew the term!)

It's probably all relative in terms of the type of problems -- I talked to a friend's son who is volunteering in a school in an underserved area through CityYear and the kids at these sometimes tense privates don't have to worry about being shot on their way to school from the Metro, etc.

We're all doing our best in terms of trying to pick the right schools for our kids, and I believe the schools do their best as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure why so many people seem to have bad experiences at this school. My daughter just came to NCS from public school, and so far all she talks about is how nice all of the girls are and how welcoming they have been. There are many different types of girls there, so it seems that most are able to find at least a few who are like-minded.

NP. My daughter also just came to NCS from a public school and she loves it. I'm not saying that for damage control, but just to share my experience.

In terms of "I wish I had known x" type advice, I would advise that when you visit NCS (or any other school) that you take seriously whatever vibe you and daughter feel about that school. If it doesn't feel great, don't go there regardless of how much "cache" it has.

And as an aside, if your kid really hates the school she is in, find another school that she will love. I'm sure it is at out there. "Not wanting to go through the process of applying out" does not seem like a good reason for staying in a school you hate.

Your daughter just came to NCS so is your aside really valid? Some families choose to stick it out rather then putting their dd through applying out so close to the college admission process.

My aside quoted someone whose daughter hated the school but nevertheless did not want to apply out after 6th grade or 9th grade. Is 6th grade too close to the college admission process to leave a school one hates? So, yes, my aside is really valid: If you hate your school, then find one you like and leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Holton is definitely inclusive and does everything it can to stop mean girls. it also has more of the coach/teacher model like STA. Would not trade my DDs spot in Holton for one at NCS for anything.

-2

I will say this, I have several friends who have DDs at NCS and my own is at Holton. I definitely can say Holton is a better school for developing a girl's unique qualities and uncovering and encouraging their talents and strengths. I could care less about the prestige of Holton vs. NCS, what they do at Holton is almost magic! They have found a way to bring out the most in those girls without being damaging. The environment IS inclusive and true, it can vary from class to class, but my child has been there for five years and so far nothing but a warm positive experience with students and faculty. She is an URM and has felt welcomed and loved.