9yo DD left off invitation WWYD?

[Anonymous]

OP, not sure about the timing of the invite to the reading, but could it be that your neighbor read this post, figured out it was you, and HENCE extended the invite? Any chance of that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, not sure about the timing of the invite to the reading, but could it be that your neighbor read this post, figured out it was you, and HENCE extended the invite? Any chance of that?

LOL... no... she doesn't use the computer very much outside of work. She spends her spare time working out, volunteering, reading, cleaning her house, and basically doing what I OUGHT to be doing instead of being here

[Anonymous]

When we have a wedding sometimes kids do not get invited- age, distant relative, etc., but we always invite kids of fmilies to a bar/bat mitzvah, since it is a celibration for a kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whew, I got bored reading the responses around page 3 My two cents, as a Jewish person who has attended probably over 50 bar/bat mitzvahs in my life - first, it is normal for friends of the bar mitzvah boy (your DS) to be invited without such child's parents/siblings - it is also normal for friends of the parents of the bar mitzvah boy (you and DH) to be invited without your kids (meaning in each case, often a whole nuclear family is not invited as guests). In your case, though, as what I would describe as "family friends" of the host family, I would have expected that your whole family including your daughter be invited, or else no one be invited except your DS who is good pals with the bar mitzvah boy. That all having been said, I can't think of any polite way to raise this with the hosts- other than to ask if it was inadvertent that your DD was not invited.

as a jewish mom of 2 soon to be bt mitzvah boys plus 1 to this

[Anonymous]

Didn't get invited to my cousin's wedding when I was a kid. Parents took us to the service/ceremony & then home for the party. Hope your DD enjoys the service, and hope those family members who go to the party enjoy that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would probably just RSVP for you and DS, and explain that DH needs to stay home with DD. That will give them the opportunity to invite DD. If they are silent, then you have your answer.

I agree. This gets the issue out there without putting the hosts on the spot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, our culture is similar in that kids and whole families are invited to events or no one in the family at all. I twas absolutely rude of your neighbor to exclude one member of the family. I would have understood if it was an adults only function, but obviously it isn't.

Your plan to go and have dh stay with dd is a good one. Your dh has no obligation to go if he doesn't want to.

Maybe you people from OTHER cultures need to learn to respect common culture in the USA.

New Poster. Uh...the last time I checked Greek Americans are Americans. (I'm not Greek by the way). And I did not know there was one culture in the good ole U.S.A.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I thought your DD wasn't invited to any of it. She's invited to the service?

I get that a religious service is open to all, but that's a theoretical, theological point. I would think that, like a wedding, a BM is attended only by people whom the BM child's parents have invited.

I saw my neighbor today, we walk our dogs together. She brought it up. Her (nearly) exact words were: "I just wanted to let you know, we're not having any younger kids at the party but why don't you bring Jane by so she can be part of Jack doing the readings..." I told her Jane would enjoy that so count on 4 for the service then 2 for the party... All is well and no... I"m not crashing the service.

The problem has been solved. Neighbor explained why DD wasn't invited. OP has made her decision. Thread is done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, we are a family of four. We were invited to the bat mitzvah of friends' older daughter. Our daughter was also invited because she is friends with the younger daughter - but only invited to the ceremony, not the party. I really didn't think much of it.

What is YDD supposed to do during the reception? Hang out in the coat check room?

LOL, but I'm sure a gift was expected.
It sounds like situations where a bride and groom want a bigger wedding than they can afford so they invite everyone to the church, then only invite "close family and friends" to the reception.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Damage is done.
I would not feel welcome, or think that we were as welcome as I would like to think.

YOu can still consider just sending your son

[Anonymous]

I did not read all the replies, but I disagree that this is comparable to leaving kids off a wedding invitation. It's comparable to one child being invited to the wedding while the other was not.

I don't know the customs, and it sounds like some of those who do think this is appropriate. So, can DH take her to do something special that night? Something she will need a new dress for?