Please explain Southern-style communication to a clueless Yankee

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gotta say that to a Northerner, Richmond is pretty Southern. It was the capitol of the Confederacy, after all.

Yeah, and considering Robert E. Lee's home was in Arlington and one of the main confederate forces was the Army of Northern Virginia, you're gonna have a hard time convincing this northerner that Northern Virginia isn't the South. Hell, MD is below the Mason-Dixon Line, so I'm kinda suspicious of them. VA's not even in the discussion.

As for all you squabbling over whether Texas, Kentucky, etc. are somehow different, from where we sit - you're all the South. (Don't take it personally, we feel the same way about the great undifferentiated Midwest.) Although I think it goes both ways - how often have I heard Southerners talk about the "Northeast" as if it's one big place, when it's obviously not. I'm from NJ, and I think Mainers are a different species, while people from Vermont might as well be from a different planet.

I'm a Southerner who's been posting in this thread and I think most of us would say NJ was the northeast but Maine was New England. I definitely get that they're different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been posting on this thread off and on for the past few days, but it just occurred to me that these differences may just be behind the reasons why my sisters and I just cannot get past a surface relationship with one of our aunts, who is from Massachusetts, because she just does not pick up on the way we think it's kind of rude and self-promoting that she always goes on and on about herself, her life, her work, and her kids. We say polite things in reply such as, ""Awwww, that's so cute!" or "That sounds so nice!" or "Awwww, they're so sweet!" but, amongst ourselves, we exclaim how much she seems to go on and on about herself, and to wonder why she does not pick up on the fact that, by not "returnign" the conversational pattern ourselves, and going on and on about OURselves, that we think this is unpleasant. Hmmm, maybe she truly thinks we are THAT interested in her and that we truly think what she is saying IS truly "sweet," "nice," and "lovely." Hmm, this thread has been enlightening to me!

So you said one thing, and meant another, and you wonder why she's confused?

[Anonymous]

My 2 cents:

Southerners are raised in what was traditionally the Bible Belt. Christian values are reflected in communications. I was taught if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything. But sometimes people still look at you and expect an answer. Which explains phrases like "bless their heart". Bringing food to the sick, and compassion for those struggling or less fortunate is a value also instilled. Concern for others was the main focus of my upbringing, also a Chrisitan value. While these are valid for any Christian, I'd have to say from observances that the main focus on helping others more than one's self may be just a Southern thing, and is probably dwindling in the South as well. My dad, from the North holds the same values as my mother who's a Southerner. He focuses on enjoying life, and my mother has always focused on helping and being kind to others in her actions and speech. He focuses on entertaining and enjoying people. Wish someone could tell me what the Northern culture focuses on when raising children with Christian values. As I said, I feel like the values are the same, but maybe the focus communicated is very different.

[Anonymous]

this thread is hilarious and just about spot on. born and raised in NC and its funny when people think DC is a sleepy southern town! Or when places advertise carolina BBQ in MD or DC. yeah right, I had to school my midwest husband that I wont touch bbq unless its coming from a place with fresh smoke out back.
Bless your heart is really an insult or we just feel sorry for you trying so hard.
"Cute" is when we can't think of anything else nice to say. as in "oh your daughter is very cute"-but maybe she hasn't grown into her looks yet. "Precious" is almost always high praise.
And my god, do we love some monogramming. I have lived in DC 15 years but I swear the minute my daughter was born I was custom ordering monogrammed everything from stores in Nashville to Natchez. again, something else my precious midwest husband still doesn't quite get! We love our babies and are so proud of them and their names we can't hardly stand it!

[Anonymous]

I'm from Louisiana. To the person that suggested Louisiana has "swamp trash", I would like to point out that we prefer the term "coon ass".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is hilarious and spot on true. I'm from the mid Atlantic region, so I am a practitioner of both Northern (sarcasm, occasional directness) and Southern (excuse me, greeting strangers, etc.) folkways.

If I am talking with someone who has a drawl, I have a drawl. If the person is a fast talker, I talk fast. The mid Atlantic creature is like the weather - always changing and unpredictable.

+100 I am soooo like this as well.

I was born and raised in Northern VA. My parents were born and raised in Connecticut (all of my extended family is there)--lived in Boston for grad school and married there.

I attended college in the South. I also had both Southern and Northern friends as a child--being right in the middle.

My sister actually has a bit of a drawl. My brother and I are very neutral talkers. My mom has that New England voice--as do my aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.

My DH is from Ohio and cannot understand thick Southern accents at all. I often translate his friend from Alabama for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Well bless your heart."

Sound's nice, right? Well, in Southern, it means "you bitch."

It can also mean "HOLY SHIT" or an approximation thereof. I was watching Hoarders they other day and a woman found out the reason her friend hadn't invited her over in years. All she could say as she navigated the mountains of clutter was "Gosh" and "Bless your heart".

Uh, wow, I've been hearing about this "bless your heart" for a while. When I moved into our old apartments, our landlords were from Texas (we had a good relationship with them, by the way). The first day I was in there I asked the lady landlord if I could get help plugging in my washer/dryer, saying I was hoping to get caught up on laundry. "Well bless your heart" she said as she put her hand on my cheek. Now I'm wondering if she thought I was stupid or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 2 cents:

Southerners are raised in what was traditionally the Bible Belt. Christian values are reflected in communications. I was taught if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything. But sometimes people still look at you and expect an answer. Which explains phrases like "bless their heart". Bringing food to the sick, and compassion for those struggling or less fortunate is a value also instilled. Concern for others was the main focus of my upbringing, also a Chrisitan value. While these are valid for any Christian, I'd have to say from observances that the main focus on helping others more than one's self may be just a Southern thing, and is probably dwindling in the South as well. My dad, from the North holds the same values as my mother who's a Southerner. He focuses on enjoying life, and my mother has always focused on helping and being kind to others in her actions and speech. He focuses on entertaining and enjoying people. Wish someone could tell me what the Northern culture focuses on when raising children with Christian values. As I said, I feel like the values are the same, but maybe the focus communicated is very different.

I'll try to explain what the North instills when raising someone with Christian values - I'm a Christian from the Northern California/Sacramento area who attended Christian school there and sent my daughter to Christian school.

I guess a good first guess would be the blunt honesty everyone is talking about here. I grew up taking things at face value and presenting things at face value to others, for the most part. I remember my mother also teaching me that Christianity was about what we believed in our heart, not how we dressed, how often we attended church, or how we presented to others. My brother, as a result, is a Christian man but has a fowl mouth and a biting sense of sarcastic humor. I worship but do so privately and rarely make it to church.

I knew some people in my husband's family that were Pentecostals from the South and my, was that a culture shock. They pretended to be friendly when they really weren't, and had rules I considered odd, such as having to wear long skirts and not cut their hair. I remember one time I was (trying to be) nice to someone and bought them a calling card, which seriously pissed them off. Really, I didn't get what they were upset about, but I think they perceived it as me not thinking they could take care of themselves, or something.

[Anonymous]

I'm from Virginia and lived further south for many years. All my southern friends forward these videos on Facebook and I think they are hilarious (and illustrate many of the phrases mentioned on this thread)
First video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUFL2GT1-2g

[Anonymous]

Thread is from 2012. Southerners live in the past, but this is a little old.

[Anonymous]

I dislike Southerners - William T. Sherman should've completely destroyed the south and kicked everyone out into mexico.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dislike Southerners - William T. Sherman should've completely destroyed the south and kicked everyone out into mexico.

Bless your heart! I'll be prayin' for you and hope you have a better day tomorrow. Take care now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dislike Southerners - William T. Sherman should've completely destroyed the south and kicked everyone out into mexico.

Bless your heart! I'll be prayin' for you and hope you have a better day tomorrow. Take care now.

[Anonymous]

I live in the south in a very rural area.

Something else you need to know...
If someone calls you “honey” or “sweetie,” it is not condescending. Nor is it flirting. It is the way people talk here. It is simply a term of endearment.
And, southern people are not afraid to strike up a conversation with you while you are waiting at the doctor’s office or while waiting for your car to be serviced.
They just like to talk. They are friendly like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Can someone please clue me in? What kinds of things do Southerners tend to say to be polite that a Yankee wouldn't say?

Please, thank you, and excuse me

Yes, but unlike Southerners, when Northerners say these things, they actually mean it.

+1

Northerners don't have time for passive aggressive BS. They are too busy, but do not talk about how busy they are - ever.