Not inviting kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your brother a narcissist? Two weddings including a destination one...not wanting kids to steal the attention...making it nearly impossible for you to attend as a mother nursing a very young infant.

A 15 person dinner after a court house wedding isn't exactly a lavish affair. It's pretty basic to figure out the legal side before the wedding they really want abroad. Some cultures invite half the village and the party goes on for days. This is nothing like that.

Interesting to have such inflexible policy on his sister's kids at a not exactly lavish affair though.

If he gives an inch then she will want it to be at a restaurant closer to her home, not during nap time or bed time, with an appropriate kid menu, etc etc. it’s one meal she can figure it out or just not go for her brother’s wedding.

That's quite a paranoid leap. Do you also think he's going through the whole process of getting married in another country for the sole purpose of keeping her kids away?

OP seems to feel that way.

And they aren’t close. Just skip the wedding, OP. It’s okay. Stay home with your kids. It’s not worth the stress and you don’t want to go. This is not about you and you don’t have a relationship with your brother as is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your brother a narcissist? Two weddings including a destination one...not wanting kids to steal the attention...making it nearly impossible for you to attend as a mother nursing a very young infant.

A 15 person dinner after a court house wedding isn't exactly a lavish affair. It's pretty basic to figure out the legal side before the wedding they really want abroad. Some cultures invite half the village and the party goes on for days. This is nothing like that.

Interesting to have such inflexible policy on his sister's kids at a not exactly lavish affair though.

If he gives an inch then she will want it to be at a restaurant closer to her home, not during nap time or bed time, with an appropriate kid menu, etc etc. it’s one meal she can figure it out or just not go for her brother’s wedding.

That's quite a paranoid leap. Do you also think he's going through the whole process of getting married in another country for the sole purpose of keeping her kids away?

Probably, seeing as she can't just go with the flow for the local, low effort wedding. OP is high maintenance and wants the world to revolve around her kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was pretty aware that my nephew was going through bottle refusal around 3 to 4 months and I'm wouldn't have thought to ask my brother to leave his kid home.

Look, I'm just saying siblings with good relationships would likely talk this out. I also really didn't want my sis in law to feel left out from a family event.

Op's brother does not appear thoughtful or to value a relationship with her though.

You seem more considerate.

Exactly. Which is why it’s ok that op is hurt. Also ok to send regrets and not feel bad about it. Brother is rude and their relationship is not good for whatever reasons. Good siblings don’t do this sort of thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, this wedding is about the couple, not you.

They want to have an enjoyable, memorable dinner that is about their marriage.

If you come with a toddler and 3 month old, the kids will act up, everyone will fuss over the baby - it will be all about your kids. And your brother knows it.

Fine to skip the destination wedding. Go to the dinner but leave your husband at home with the kids. Stay for an hour and then go back home if you need to.

This. You are not being targeted. Most weddings do not include children. You should not have asked because the invitation was clear -just you and your husband. I wouldn’t want two young children at my small restaurant celebration. Hire a sitter and pump. Done. Don’t go to the other. Done

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was pretty aware that my nephew was going through bottle refusal around 3 to 4 months and I'm wouldn't have thought to ask my brother to leave his kid home.

Look, I'm just saying siblings with good relationships would likely talk this out. I also really didn't want my sis in law to feel left out from a family event.

Op's brother does not appear thoughtful or to value a relationship with her though.

You seem more considerate.

Exactly. Which is why it’s ok that op is hurt. Also ok to send regrets and not feel bad about it. Brother is rude and their relationship is not good for whatever reasons. Good siblings don’t do this sort of thing.

Brother isn’t rude, he’s living his life which isn’t centered around his distant sister and her kids. At least she was invited. The time to work on the relationship is before the invites go out, not after.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your brother a narcissist? Two weddings including a destination one...not wanting kids to steal the attention...making it nearly impossible for you to attend as a mother nursing a very young infant.

A 15 person dinner after a court house wedding isn't exactly a lavish affair. It's pretty basic to figure out the legal side before the wedding they really want abroad. Some cultures invite half the village and the party goes on for days. This is nothing like that.

Interesting to have such inflexible policy on his sister's kids at a not exactly lavish affair though.

If he gives an inch then she will want it to be at a restaurant closer to her home, not during nap time or bed time, with an appropriate kid menu, etc etc. it’s one meal she can figure it out or just not go for her brother’s wedding.

That's quite a paranoid leap. Do you also think he's going through the whole process of getting married in another country for the sole purpose of keeping her kids away?

Probably, seeing as she can't just go with the flow for the local, low effort wedding. OP is high maintenance and wants the world to revolve around her kids.

Never nursed a newborn have you?

[Anonymous]

OP sounds like a selfish brat.

Many couples exclude children from weddings, it is extremely common.

Furthermore i wouldn’t want a baby and toddler at ANY intimate dinner at a nice elegant restaurant especially if it were my wedding dinner.

BTW iI am a parent of two young children and invited kids to my wedding. Everyone has different preferences and the wedding couple get to decide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was pretty aware that my nephew was going through bottle refusal around 3 to 4 months and I'm wouldn't have thought to ask my brother to leave his kid home.

Look, I'm just saying siblings with good relationships would likely talk this out. I also really didn't want my sis in law to feel left out from a family event.

Op's brother does not appear thoughtful or to value a relationship with her though.

You seem more considerate.

Exactly. Which is why it’s ok that op is hurt. Also ok to send regrets and not feel bad about it. Brother is rude and their relationship is not good for whatever reasons. Good siblings don’t do this sort of thing.

Agree. Brother is rude and clearly has some term issue with op. She even said he doesn't like her in the first post even though she is fine with him.

It's ok to be hurt op. It's also ok to accept that your brother is not going to be the person there for you in life and to cultivate relationships with other family or friends to fill that void.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your brother a narcissist? Two weddings including a destination one...not wanting kids to steal the attention...making it nearly impossible for you to attend as a mother nursing a very young infant.

A 15 person dinner after a court house wedding isn't exactly a lavish affair. It's pretty basic to figure out the legal side before the wedding they really want abroad. Some cultures invite half the village and the party goes on for days. This is nothing like that.

Interesting to have such inflexible policy on his sister's kids at a not exactly lavish affair though.

If he gives an inch then she will want it to be at a restaurant closer to her home, not during nap time or bed time, with an appropriate kid menu, etc etc. it’s one meal she can figure it out or just not go for her brother’s wedding.

That's quite a paranoid leap. Do you also think he's going through the whole process of getting married in another country for the sole purpose of keeping her kids away?

Probably, seeing as she can't just go with the flow for the local, low effort wedding. OP is high maintenance and wants the world to revolve around her kids.

Never nursed a newborn have you?

Only 3, you? Pump and dump. Pros know how.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP sounds like a selfish brat.

Many couples exclude children from weddings, it is extremely common.

Furthermore i wouldn’t want a baby and toddler at ANY intimate dinner at a nice elegant restaurant especially if it were my wedding dinner.

BTW iI am a parent of two young children and invited kids to my wedding. Everyone has different preferences and the wedding couple get to decide.

That's really rude. Op is not being a selfish brat. She's trying to figure out how to make sure her family including a nursing baby of a few months is cared for. She's thinking of them and that doesn't make her a brat.

Op also never said it was a nice elegant restaurant. It could be a very family friendly place for all we know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your brother a narcissist? Two weddings including a destination one...not wanting kids to steal the attention...making it nearly impossible for you to attend as a mother nursing a very young infant.

A 15 person dinner after a court house wedding isn't exactly a lavish affair. It's pretty basic to figure out the legal side before the wedding they really want abroad. Some cultures invite half the village and the party goes on for days. This is nothing like that.

Interesting to have such inflexible policy on his sister's kids at a not exactly lavish affair though.

If he gives an inch then she will want it to be at a restaurant closer to her home, not during nap time or bed time, with an appropriate kid menu, etc etc. it’s one meal she can figure it out or just not go for her brother’s wedding.

That's quite a paranoid leap. Do you also think he's going through the whole process of getting married in another country for the sole purpose of keeping her kids away?

Probably, seeing as she can't just go with the flow for the local, low effort wedding. OP is high maintenance and wants the world to revolve around her kids.

Never nursed a newborn have you?

Only 3, you? Pump and dump. Pros know how.

Perhaps op isn't a pro like you. She should still be supported.

Also with 3 kids you would think you would know that pumping and dumping doesn't get the newborn fed which is the goal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP sounds like a selfish brat.

Many couples exclude children from weddings, it is extremely common.

Furthermore i wouldn’t want a baby and toddler at ANY intimate dinner at a nice elegant restaurant especially if it were my wedding dinner.

BTW iI am a parent of two young children and invited kids to my wedding. Everyone has different preferences and the wedding couple get to decide.

That's really rude. Op is not being a selfish brat. She's trying to figure out how to make sure her family including a nursing baby of a few months is cared for. She's thinking of them and that doesn't make her a brat.

Op also never said it was a nice elegant restaurant. It could be a very family friendly place for all we know.

Whatever it is, her kids aren’t included. So stay home and care for them since apparently the husband is incapable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was pretty aware that my nephew was going through bottle refusal around 3 to 4 months and I'm wouldn't have thought to ask my brother to leave his kid home.

Look, I'm just saying siblings with good relationships would likely talk this out. I also really didn't want my sis in law to feel left out from a family event.

Op's brother does not appear thoughtful or to value a relationship with her though.

You seem more considerate.

Exactly. Which is why it’s ok that op is hurt. Also ok to send regrets and not feel bad about it. Brother is rude and their relationship is not good for whatever reasons. Good siblings don’t do this sort of thing.

Brother isn’t rude, he’s living his life which isn’t centered around his distant sister and her kids. At least she was invited. The time to work on the relationship is before the invites go out, not after.

I encourage op to live her life not centered around her distant brother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your brother a narcissist? Two weddings including a destination one...not wanting kids to steal the attention...making it nearly impossible for you to attend as a mother nursing a very young infant.

A 15 person dinner after a court house wedding isn't exactly a lavish affair. It's pretty basic to figure out the legal side before the wedding they really want abroad. Some cultures invite half the village and the party goes on for days. This is nothing like that.

Interesting to have such inflexible policy on his sister's kids at a not exactly lavish affair though.

If he gives an inch then she will want it to be at a restaurant closer to her home, not during nap time or bed time, with an appropriate kid menu, etc etc. it’s one meal she can figure it out or just not go for her brother’s wedding.

That's quite a paranoid leap. Do you also think he's going through the whole process of getting married in another country for the sole purpose of keeping her kids away?

Probably, seeing as she can't just go with the flow for the local, low effort wedding. OP is high maintenance and wants the world to revolve around her kids.

Never nursed a newborn have you?

Only 3, you? Pump and dump. Pros know how.

Perhaps op isn't a pro like you. She should still be supported.

Also with 3 kids you would think you would know that pumping and dumping doesn't get the newborn fed which is the goal.

You would think OP would be working on bottle training and building a stash. Do you know how breastfeeding works or are you just guessing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP sounds like a selfish brat.

Many couples exclude children from weddings, it is extremely common.

Furthermore i wouldn’t want a baby and toddler at ANY intimate dinner at a nice elegant restaurant especially if it were my wedding dinner.

BTW iI am a parent of two young children and invited kids to my wedding. Everyone has different preferences and the wedding couple get to decide.

That's really rude. Op is not being a selfish brat. She's trying to figure out how to make sure her family including a nursing baby of a few months is cared for. She's thinking of them and that doesn't make her a brat.

Op also never said it was a nice elegant restaurant. It could be a very family friendly place for all we know.

Whatever it is, her kids aren’t included. So stay home and care for them since apparently the husband is incapable.

I've never met a husband who could nurse.

I agree she should stay home and skip the events.