Can I be honest? I don’t care much about my friends kids college announcements

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One mom I know never posted about her DC1’s schools. One set of photos from move-in day. For her DC2, she posted application updates (ED submitted! Fingers crossed!), the list of acceptances (This brainy girl!), and the final decision. DC1 went to a flagship, DC2 went to an Ivy. I really felt for her DC1.

Why are you stalking this mom to the point where you can recall what she's posting about each of her kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid in the mix this year too, and I know we all care as parents but I don’t need blow by blow updates/brags.

Post it on social media if you must, tell grandma, but you don’t need to text every friend with a ‘big announcement’ that Larla is going to X school.

Flame away

And yet you care enough to post here to complain?

I love reading where kids I know are heading off to college. I had a great time in college, and I'm excited for them to have what I hope will be a great adventure, too. Agree that no need for a blow-by-blow accounts except for with my girlfriends (no need for public updates), but final announcements, yes, definitely.

Oh it’s the old ‘but you have time to post on here!’ comment. So original

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love seeing them. This is so weird. I have two in college about to graduate and I still love seeing where kids land.

Why? Why do you care? Why do you think it matters at all? Especially if it's not your kid? I'm genuinely curious.

This is pretty sad. How can the idea of pleasure over your friends achievements be such a foreign concept?

DP.
Here’s the thing. Pleasure is great but you’re being dishonest if you don’t admit that there’s a huge element of narcissistic bragging at play for many parents, and I think that’s what irks some of us. As example, my friends son struggled in high school and when he got into college, I was overjoyed for him. Same with another friend’s dc who worked his butt off in high school, juggling academics and sports, and was recruited at a D1. Same for a friends son who got into Yale who she worried about socially as a kid. These are otherwise humble families. But in contrast, I know some people who have really taken to SM to brag about vacations, other ‘cool’ things they’re doing, their parties, their husbands love letter to them, their new pricey car, etc and yes, those people irk me. I stopped following them on SM ages ago, but those are the same ones who make announcements in other ways to ensure no one missed their latest brag.

This sums it up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's jealousy. I feel it, too. But here's the thing. If someone posts a proud announcement about their kid going to some 80%+ acceptance rate school, I don't feel scornful. It's only the ones posting about the elite schools that make me annoyed. So I recognize that about myself. I grit my teeth and comment "Wow wow wow! How proud are you! Congratulations to the whole family!" And then I silence further notifications about the post.

Yikes. Really? My kid got in unhooked to an Ivy. He didn’t post on the school Instagram and I didn’t post on mine (very small set of followers anyways).

It’s disheartening that people take it that way. He did put a sticker on the car. It’s kind of crazy it’s ok for anyone in a school below T20 to do- but other kids are t supposed to show any school pride.

Stickers on the car is so pretentious.

Who cares?! Eat it. I see 100+ UVA, VT, JMU, CNU decals daily. How are those not pretentious. A kid can only have a decal if it’s below T20?

Decals on cars are great imo. I remember my had decals on EVERYTHING of my school (UVA back in the 90s). It wasn't my top choice; I didn't get into my top choice. I wasn't that thrilled to be going there initially (ended up loving it). Honestly I felt cheered by my dad displaying pride in my school on his car. 25+ years later he still wears UVA golf shirts, hats...and we live nowhere near VA anymore.

yea and that's weird AF. we sent 2 kids to UVA and you'd never find any evidence of it from our cars, our clothes, our social media posts, etc. why? because it's not important. it's just college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One mom I know never posted about her DC1’s schools. One set of photos from move-in day. For her DC2, she posted application updates (ED submitted! Fingers crossed!), the list of acceptances (This brainy girl!), and the final decision. DC1 went to a flagship, DC2 went to an Ivy. I really felt for her DC1.

Why are you stalking this mom to the point where you can recall what she's posting about each of her kids?

Dp. Assume these are *public* posts, no? That’s not what stalking means

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One mom I know never posted about her DC1’s schools. One set of photos from move-in day. For her DC2, she posted application updates (ED submitted! Fingers crossed!), the list of acceptances (This brainy girl!), and the final decision. DC1 went to a flagship, DC2 went to an Ivy. I really felt for her DC1.

Why are you stalking this mom to the point where you can recall what she's posting about each of her kids?

Dp. Assume these are *public* posts, no? That’s not what stalking means

She's following the woman closely enough to remember what she's posting about one kid and what she didn't post about the other. Stalking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love seeing them. This is so weird. I have two in college about to graduate and I still love seeing where kids land.

Why? Why do you care? Why do you think it matters at all? Especially if it's not your kid? I'm genuinely curious.

This is pretty sad. How can the idea of pleasure over your friends achievements be such a foreign concept?

DP.
Here’s the thing. Pleasure is great but you’re being dishonest if you don’t admit that there’s a huge element of narcissistic bragging at play for many parents, and I think that’s what irks some of us. As example, my friends son struggled in high school and when he got into college, I was overjoyed for him. Same with another friend’s dc who worked his butt off in high school, juggling academics and sports, and was recruited at a D1. Same for a friends son who got into Yale who she worried about socially as a kid. These are otherwise humble families. But in contrast, I know some people who have really taken to SM to brag about vacations, other ‘cool’ things they’re doing, their parties, their husbands love letter to them, their new pricey car, etc and yes, those people irk me. I stopped following them on SM ages ago, but those are the same ones who make announcements in other ways to ensure no one missed their latest brag.

These people are not your friends!!!

This post is about not caring about your FRIENDS kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love seeing them. This is so weird. I have two in college about to graduate and I still love seeing where kids land.

Why? Why do you care? Why do you think it matters at all? Especially if it's not your kid? I'm genuinely curious.

This is pretty sad. How can the idea of pleasure over your friends achievements be such a foreign concept?

DP.
Here’s the thing. Pleasure is great but you’re being dishonest if you don’t admit that there’s a huge element of narcissistic bragging at play for many parents, and I think that’s what irks some of us. As example, my friends son struggled in high school and when he got into college, I was overjoyed for him. Same with another friend’s dc who worked his butt off in high school, juggling academics and sports, and was recruited at a D1. Same for a friends son who got into Yale who she worried about socially as a kid. These are otherwise humble families. But in contrast, I know some people who have really taken to SM to brag about vacations, other ‘cool’ things they’re doing, their parties, their husbands love letter to them, their new pricey car, etc and yes, those people irk me. I stopped following them on SM ages ago, but those are the same ones who make announcements in other ways to ensure no one missed their latest brag.

The families I spent time with as their children grew up - many of whom I coached, baby sat, took to museums or playgrounds... I care about those kids and their outcomes. I spend time with people I like and I don't often like braggarts ... and if they take one moment to cross that line when their child gets reaches a goal or exceeds an expectation I'm THRILLED for them. This is a milestone in most people's lives and it merits a bit of pride, even if overdone. Do some people take it too far, I'm sure they do - there's always a Karen or Janice that takes things too far and we've all learned how to deal with them by now. MY choice is to not give them my time. It's pretty easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One mom I know never posted about her DC1’s schools. One set of photos from move-in day. For her DC2, she posted application updates (ED submitted! Fingers crossed!), the list of acceptances (This brainy girl!), and the final decision. DC1 went to a flagship, DC2 went to an Ivy. I really felt for her DC1.

Why are you stalking this mom to the point where you can recall what she's posting about each of her kids?

I’m not the PP, but I’m aware of what people I’m linked to on FB post about their kids over time. Unless they’re so annoying that I hide them from my feed! 😜 No stalking involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid in the mix this year too, and I know we all care as parents but I don’t need blow by blow updates/brags.

Post it on social media if you must, tell grandma, but you don’t need to text every friend with a ‘big announcement’ that Larla is going to X school.

Flame away

But do you care about strangers' kids' announcements? as here: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1299847.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid in the mix this year too, and I know we all care as parents but I don’t need blow by blow updates/brags.

Post it on social media if you must, tell grandma, but you don’t need to text every friend with a ‘big announcement’ that Larla is going to X school.

Flame away

And what about those yard signs announcing where kid is going? Kinda creepy isn't it??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And no, your kid didn't get a scholarship because they are brilliant. It is because you can't afford full pay. I love the grandmas who brag that their grandchild got a scholarship to an Ivy. Awesome that junior got into an Ivy, but they didn't get a scholarship because they are more special than the other kids there.

You should go to anger management if this is what triggers you. Sad.

It's the menopause give "her" some grace

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not impressed by any college my friends children got into. Most are wealthy. Maybe that’s not fair, but I know how much support/help these kids have. I appreciate the families are proud and that’s great, but there is no need to brag about the obvious privilege at play.

In contrast, I know a teacher whose dd got into Yale ED. I was happy and impressed to hear that news, although she didn’t tell me, our mutual friend shared the news.

This is how I feel. Maybe it’s mean but I can’t help it.

So you’re wealthy?

[Anonymous]

Maybe I’m crazy, but I love seeing the happy “My kidis going to X college next year” posts.

For me, it doesn’t matter who is posting it - close friend, acquaintance, someone from high school I only see on FB and not IRL etc.

Leaving home and going to college is a massive life event - for the kid and for the family. I absolutely consider that news-worthy and worth sharing on SM!

To me, that’s a single post, and I’m always happy to see it because in some weird way I feel a moment of connection - just like with the birth announcement back in the day and the milestones since.

I feel a little sad for those of you who are so hardened and cynical that these posts seem offensive. Social media can be toxic, but sharing joy in each other’s big life transitions still seems like a good thing to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like following DC's school Instagram announcement page because I like to see where kids land, but I do not want constant updates from friends about their kids' application statuses, and I definitely do not want to know about scholarships, etc. Last year, we got actual printed college announcements with professional photos of the kids--essentially SM on crack. A big no thanks on the printed announcements aka brag bomb.

Again, it's the company you have chosen to keep. Let me guess: private school?

The printed announcements (coming from 3 separate families) were all from public school families.

No, they weren't. And there weren't 3. And I was right that your kids are in private school.

I'm very sorry that my experience does not fit the narrative you are trying to sell. The three families from whom we received printed college/graduation announcements were in fact from public school parents. Two attend BCC, the other one is at WW. I was not trying to make it into a private vs public school thing.