Can I be honest? I don’t care much about my friends kids college announcements

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I remember being happy for my friends and their kids because junior year on is stressful. I don't get the anger, but you do you, OP.

+1 Happy for all of them

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I love seeing them. This is so weird. I have two in college about to graduate and I still love seeing where kids land.

Why? Why do you care? Why do you think it matters at all? Especially if it's not your kid? I'm genuinely curious.

This is pretty sad. How can the idea of pleasure over your friends achievements be such a foreign concept?

DP.
Here’s the thing. Pleasure is great but you’re being dishonest if you don’t admit that there’s a huge element of narcissistic bragging at play for many parents, and I think that’s what irks some of us. As example, my friends son struggled in high school and when he got into college, I was overjoyed for him. Same with another friend’s dc who worked his butt off in high school, juggling academics and sports, and was recruited at a D1. Same for a friends son who got into Yale who she worried about socially as a kid. These are otherwise humble families. But in contrast, I know some people who have really taken to SM to brag about vacations, other ‘cool’ things they’re doing, their parties, their husbands love letter to them, their new pricey car, etc and yes, those people irk me. I stopped following them on SM ages ago, but those are the same ones who make announcements in other ways to ensure no one missed their latest brag.

Ok, for real, you are exactly the type of poster I am curious to get an answer from. I'm trying not to judge but I honestly can't understand why so many people have this view, and yet are on social media. Most of social media seems to be about sharing the (mostly good) things in your life. If posts about vacations, parties, new cars, college acceptances etc. all bother you as "narcissistic bragging," then what exactly do you like to see on your social media feed from your friends and acquaintances? Is it only acceptable to share about your struggles, and if you have enough struggles, then it is okay to share good news now and then?

I’m not on social media much. But when I am, I like people who are funny and thoughtful, and yes, there can be updates but they feel more organic and normal. Some good, some ok/bad. In contrast, there are some people who just seem like attention whores, who want everyone to know how cool/special/fun they are, and social media has brought out the worst in them. They’re the ones who I typically stopped following ages ago, but some of them want to make sure I know blah blah so will find other ways to blast their news. I suspect they’re the insecure ones, but who knows? Also, as someone said above, they’re not my friends and maybe that’s true. If I only hear from you when you want to brag about something, yes, I guess that doesn’t feel like a friendship.

Well, that is interesting. I am an introvert who seldom posts anything, but when I do, it is usually to share something I am either really proud of or really excited about, such as a vacation, or when I am especially proud of my kid. And I now realize that this probably annoys a lot of people on my feed, but I don't feel witty enough to share mundane news in any entertaining way. Nor do I feel comfortable sharing our family struggles. So I am way more likely to blast that my kid won the county spelling bee than when my kid almost died of illness in preschool. I share vacation pics because I love traveling and I also love to see where other people go for ideas. I like seeing where friends' kids land for college and am happy for them. If this kind of stuff is off limits, I guess I would social media a bit dry, and I do like social media because it lets me feel somewhat connected to former school friends, neighbors, etc. that I don't keep in touch with much otherwise but am still interested in.

Nah, you’re good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is jealous (that is not the right world tho) of a teen or their family. "Good for you." But people who don't care for such posts should continue scrolling on or not go on social media to begin with because that's pretty much what's on social media --updates, photos, videos and reactions to those photos updates and videos.

Word

This original post was not about social media

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I remember being happy for my friends and their kids because junior year on is stressful. I don't get the anger, but you do you, OP.

Where did you get anger from?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Admittedly, my kids are young and college is a ways away but I also find these sm posts so over the top. I’ve even seen parents post about their kids getting jobs after graduating.

It all comes off as very desperate for attention and I get second hand embarrassment. I assume it’s mostly for other parents they feel they are competing with?

I like to believe some people are still naively using social media like it was 2008. It’s certainly true of my parents peer group.

I stopped posting about my kid a long time ago, but I understand why others still post. I’m ridiculously proud of every milestone and want to shout it from the rooftops. It’s such a pure, joyful emotion, it’s hard to keep bottled.

Ok this explains a lot for me. I think in more recent years posting a bunch of your kids’ accomplishments on sm has become a little try-hard and is viewed as an attempt at bragging even when people don’t mean it that way.

The whole Facebook sharing everything thing is definitely generational. I say post away! My aunts post constantly on Instagram and I’m sure people find it annoying but I like the updates!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid in the mix this year too, and I know we all care as parents but I don’t need blow by blow updates/brags.

Post it on social media if you must, tell grandma, but you don’t need to text every friend with a ‘big announcement’ that Larla is going to X school.

Flame away

I would very much expect my friends to text me the big announcement of where their kid is going to college!!

Do you have friends you love?

[Anonymous]

I like to see my friends SM posts on their kids’ college acceptances. As others chime in in the comments, sometimes they share some good info on recs for local restaurants, or fun venues for the new student and family.

My favorite ones are the posts where their kid got into a high acceptance university. It shows their child they are proud of them.

Now, to the parents that post every single acceptance…. Eff them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid in the mix this year too, and I know we all care as parents but I don’t need blow by blow updates/brags.

Post it on social media if you must, tell grandma, but you don’t need to text every friend with a ‘big announcement’ that Larla is going to X school.

Flame away

I would very much expect my friends to text me the big announcement of where their kid is going to college!!

Do you have friends you love?

My closest friends texted when their kid got into their top choice. We talk all the time about what schools the kids like so it’s fun to be a part of celebrating the big news. It would be annoying if people were blasting a group chat with news of acceptances though—unless maybe it was something the group had discussed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid in the mix this year too, and I know we all care as parents but I don’t need blow by blow updates/brags.

Post it on social media if you must, tell grandma, but you don’t need to text every friend with a ‘big announcement’ that Larla is going to X school.

Flame away

I would very much expect my friends to text me the big announcement of where their kid is going to college!!

Do you have friends you love?

My closest friends texted when their kid got into their top choice. We talk all the time about what schools the kids like so it’s fun to be a part of celebrating the big news. It would be annoying if people were blasting a group chat with news of acceptances though—unless maybe it was something the group had discussed.

that is not a thing I've experienced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is jealous (that is not the right world tho) of a teen or their family. "Good for you." But people who don't care for such posts should continue scrolling on or not go on social media to begin with because that's pretty much what's on social media --updates, photos, videos and reactions to those photos updates and videos.

Word

This original post was not about social media

So? Discussion evolved and posters gave opinions om announcements. If you read the pages you'd know it's not just about OP now

[Anonymous]

I like hearing where everyone is going and I’m proud of DS’ friends. I’ve known these kids a long time. It’s a drag that people are becoming so removed from just hearing someone else’s good news… especially with all of the constant bad news in the world right now.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:And no, your kid didn't get a scholarship because they are brilliant. It is because you can't afford full pay. I love the grandmas who brag that their grandchild got a scholarship to an Ivy. Awesome that junior got into an Ivy, but they didn't get a scholarship because they are more special than the other kids there.

Ok that’s mean! Grandmas can be excited! That’s sweet!

No, they are delusional. Ivies don’t give scholarships, period.

They give free tuition. Grandma can brag about her grandson going to Harvard with tuition %100 paid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like hearing where everyone is going and I’m proud of DS’ friends. I’ve known these kids a long time. It’s a drag that people are becoming so removed from just hearing someone else’s good news… especially with all of the constant bad news in the world right now.

+1. I always want to hear good news, who doesn’t?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like hearing where everyone is going and I’m proud of DS’ friends. I’ve known these kids a long time. It’s a drag that people are becoming so removed from just hearing someone else’s good news… especially with all of the constant bad news in the world right now.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid in the mix this year too, and I know we all care as parents but I don’t need blow by blow updates/brags.

Post it on social media if you must, tell grandma, but you don’t need to text every friend with a ‘big announcement’ that Larla is going to X school.

Flame away

Annoying but be happy for them. Life is not a competition.