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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Do you think feminism has been a net positive or net negative for relationships?
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Anonymous
This was always true for men of means, even fairly modest means— there’s a reason for all those brothels in Westerns. The only difference is that women can be legally and financially independent. So, yes, I’ll land on the side of that being better. |
Anonymous
Let me guess, you're implying that we need to accommodate men now or else they will revert to their rabid, even more violent selves and attack women en masse? That's not a positive dynamic you want us to return to. That's a hostage situation. There are guns for that and I would rather make a last stand machine gunning as many men as possible than ever again be married to a man like my ex-husband. |
Anonymous
I don’t think this was something many men were concerned with even without AI options. |
Anonymous
Why don't you explain what a woman needs a relationship for? What's in it for her. I'll wait. |
Anonymous
The problem you seem to be having is that you don't understand what the word "relationship" means. A dynamic in which a woman is held hostage financially and biologically by a man using her children and abusive laws to keep her at home by force is not a relationship. What you're missing is the good old days when you had female hostages. Relationships are much better now. Hostage situations are on the wane, however. My condolences. |
Anonymous
I don't think this is true, because men as a group haven't done the work to become more balanced people, but women have. Men can't get sex whenever they want because it requires a woman to want to have sex with them (and women have more choice than ever now), and it seems like there are things a lot of men want and either can only get in relationships or vastly prefer to get them in relationships (kids, societal connections and belonging, stability, etc.). Women also seem to prefer getting these in relationships, though it seems on the whole, women who don't find marriage are better able to attain these things than men do. I think of my BIL who is never married, quite bitter about it, and very lonely. He lacks a lot of social skills that would enable him to build and maintain friendships, doesn't really know how to make his home nice, and absolutely could not raise kids on his own. Then I think of the half dozen female friends I have who are also never married, but still have really lovely lives. They are financially stable and work to give their lives structure and meaning without a spouse. Several of them have had kids on their own and done a good job of figuring out how to make that work (often living near family to ensure greater stability, making enough to afford nannies and other supports to cover childcare gaps). Others instead focus on friendships, travel, and hobbies. They are all very happy. I think all of them would have been happy to marry IF they had found the right person at the right time, but they didn't and demonstrated a lot of resiliency in figuring out how to make it work for them anyway. Meanwhile my BIL sits around angry at the world for not providing him with a wife to compensate for all his shortcomings. He wanted someone who would not only give him sex, but also children and create a comfortable home for him and manage his social life and cook his meals. He also would have needed a woman who would do all that while also earning an income, because he's a low earner who is often unemployed and would not have been able to support a family on his own. My MIL often laments his "bad luck" in not finding a partner but the truth is that I've never met a woman who would be willing to take all that on. He has had several lengthy and somewhat serious relationships but they don't last because he'll start out on his best behavior and then as he reveals himself to her, she realizes what she's taking on and leaves. One of his ex girlfriends was a single mom in her 40s -- she chose to stay a single mom rather than take on BIL as essentially a second dependent. More recently he dated a woman in her late 40s who never had kids and likely didn't have a ton of other romantic prospects. That one lasted two years but ultimately she decided she'd rather be alone than deal with BIL. And I've heard of other stories like this for other men. The women who reject them do fine even if it means being alone. The men don't. The biggest problem with feminism is that some men have not stepped up to the plate and bettered themselves to make themselves worthy of women and marriage. When women have the choice to support themselves and be alone, it might not be their first choice but they can make it work and some even really enjoy it. And men suffer because before feminism, those women would have HAD to marry. Independence was not an option and they would have been really exposed and in danger of starvation or physical harm without a husband. That single mom especially would likely never have chosen to give up the protection of a husband, even one as burdensome as my BIL, because her prospects would have been so bad. Feminism is a net positive for women in relationships because it has allowed us to choose, and offered us an alternative to marriage if we can't find a man we want to marry. For reasons I frankly don't understand, men have not seized the opportunity to make that same choice for themselves, and there are too many men (see the incel movement if you are looking for examples) still view access to women and a wife as a god-given right even though they've done nothing to earn the love of a woman. |
Anonymous
Hell if I know. I can't think of a single thing I got out of my past relationships besides some overgrown ogre eating most of the groceries, arguing with me, and offering me a few minutes of him inside me while I was expected to perform porn star tricks for him. A lot of you colonized minds will chime in and say that I just chose the wrong kind of man. But open your eyes and understand that the vast majority of women are with the wrong kind of man because most are inherently wrong. Blaming us forgetting bitten because we're forced to fish in a pool in which 80% of the fish are piranhas is just misogyny. The fact is if you think logically, most women are getting absolutely nothing out of relationships and are actually losing a lot. That's why women are discouraged from thinking logically about relationships with men. |
Anonymous
A contract needs to benefit both parties. If it doesn't, it needs to be renegotiated |
Anonymous
But we're reached a point where relationships don't offer people anything of value. |
Anonymous
I'm not here to sell you on relationships with women or convince you that we are more than just walking vaginas. You can keep that mindset and pre-order your robots. |
Anonymous
Then let relationships end and the institution of marriage die. |
Anonymous
Of course they get nothing. And there's nothing in it for men either. But to continue to argue that somehow this is going to make relationships more positive is bizarre. |
Anonymous
We don't have to "let" anything happen, it's already happening. The writing is on the wall but some of you are still stubbornly arguing that it isn't. |
Anonymous
Sure they do. Love, companionship, stability. A healthy relationship with two equal partners is amazing. |
Anonymous
Again, you don't understand what the word relationship means. A relationship requires mutual benefit. The relationships that exist nowadays are much more mutually beneficial because of feminism. The hostage situations that you crave are on the decline. Hostage takers' lives have been greatly diminished by feminism. That's not a problem for relationships. It's a problem for you as an aspiring hostage taker, however. |