Do you think feminism has been a net positive or net negative for relationships?

[Anonymous]

I'm Gen-X. My grandmothers and mother were college-educated SAHMs. Even had one college-educated great-grandmother.

When I was young, I thought men and women had achieved equality in the US workplace. At midlife, I'm wiser than that. But I think things have been on a positive trend and it will continue.

I have always been a working mom. I'm glad I was not a SAHM. Temperamentally, I don't think I would have adapted well to a less-intellectually-focused life with more house-related responsibilities (I split these with my spouse). I have more power, freedom, and an economic safety net than if I had been a SAHM. My sons seem fine. The house maintenance definitely suffered. I balanced my career with children, resulting in a suckier career but reasonably happy, successful, and well-raised children.

I think there are some real relationship issues caused by men not being the leaders, bosses, final say people as much anymore. I expect that to continue to lessen as society becomes more egalitarian.

[Anonymous]

One argument against feminism is that it has damaged the family structure. By getting rid of traditional gender roles, it has caused confusion about roles, placed unrealistic expectations on women, and pushed men away, all while prioritizing personal goals over family stability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One argument against feminism is that it has damaged the family structure. By getting rid of traditional gender roles, it has caused confusion about roles, placed unrealistic expectations on women, and pushed men away, all while prioritizing personal goals over family stability.

I mean it is *an* argument, just not a good one.

[Anonymous]

You all forget

A good relationship needs 2 equal partners

That hasn't been available to women until recently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm Gen-X. My grandmothers and mother were college-educated SAHMs. Even had one college-educated great-grandmother.

When I was young, I thought men and women had achieved equality in the US workplace. At midlife, I'm wiser than that. But I think things have been on a positive trend and it will continue.

I have always been a working mom. I'm glad I was not a SAHM. Temperamentally, I don't think I would have adapted well to a less-intellectually-focused life with more house-related responsibilities (I split these with my spouse). I have more power, freedom, and an economic safety net than if I had been a SAHM. My sons seem fine. The house maintenance definitely suffered. I balanced my career with children, resulting in a suckier career but reasonably happy, successful, and well-raised children.

I think there are some real relationship issues caused by men not being the leaders, bosses, final say people as much anymore. I expect that to continue to lessen as society becomes more egalitarian.

Just curious, what do you do for a living?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You all forget

A good relationship needs 2 equal partners

That hasn't been available to women until recently.

So no good relationship has existed until recently? Interesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One argument against feminism is that it has damaged the family structure. By getting rid of traditional gender roles, it has caused confusion about roles, placed unrealistic expectations on women, and pushed men away, all while prioritizing personal goals over family stability.

I'm happy to trend the garden if DH wants to hunt our dinner

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For me it’s been an absolute net positive. It helped me to open my eyes to how lame so many men are, and how they aren’t worth my time. Once my eyes were opened there was no turning back. No amount of propaganda in the world will turn me back. Call me a bitter old cat lady all you want. I could care less.

I live a life filled with peace and contentment. I go where I want to go, when I want to go. I have an amazing career that brings me job and pays big bucks. It’s an area that’s supposed to for men. But so what…. I like money too. I have fabulous group of friends, a beloved cat, and a boy toy to meet physical needs who I NEVER let live with me and start dirtying up my house.

Same here. 50/50 custody has allowed me to advance my career and I'm better off financially now than when I was married. Plus I'm not spending hours a week cooking and cleaning up after a man, so I have so much more free time. I have a BF who knows he needs to be a net positive in my life, and he does more for me, my kids, and my house than my xH ever did.

Reality is men don't "prioritize" marriage in the sense their marriage isn't a top priority for them. They're the main character, and everyone is there to help them out. No thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all forget

A good relationship needs 2 equal partners

That hasn't been available to women until recently.

So no good relationship has existed until recently? Interesting.

If it takes the "kindness" of your DH to allow you to be an equal partner, then no.

To choose to be with someone requires actually having a socially acceptable alternative. For most women, there wasn't.

[Anonymous]

I think men who blame feminism for them being single are really telling in themselves. If you're so unappealing to women that you think the solution is to restrict women's freedoms, that's a pretty grim assessment of yourself as a potential partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm Gen-X. My grandmothers and mother were college-educated SAHMs. Even had one college-educated great-grandmother.

When I was young, I thought men and women had achieved equality in the US workplace. At midlife, I'm wiser than that. But I think things have been on a positive trend and it will continue.

I have always been a working mom. I'm glad I was not a SAHM. Temperamentally, I don't think I would have adapted well to a less-intellectually-focused life with more house-related responsibilities (I split these with my spouse). I have more power, freedom, and an economic safety net than if I had been a SAHM. My sons seem fine. The house maintenance definitely suffered. I balanced my career with children, resulting in a suckier career but reasonably happy, successful, and well-raised children.

I think there are some real relationship issues caused by men not being the leaders, bosses, final say people as much anymore. I expect that to continue to lessen as society becomes more egalitarian.

Just curious, what do you do for a living?

F500 company corporate staff MBA generalist independent contributor. I get to think about stuff. MBA-type stuff. My sister is similar. She's an engineer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, because my husband and I are a team. He did bar flashcards with me, I read his thesis and did mock defense practice with him. We staggered our maternity and paternity leave so we could keep our kids home longer. And because we're dual income we both have the flexibility at our jobs so we never have to miss a school recital, neither of us has to work crazy hours to support the family.

Egalitarianism has made us both have better work/life balance.

Good for you.

[Anonymous]

Statistically, you need to focus your worry on *men* not prioritizing their children. These kids in single-parent households don’t arrive via the stork, and deadbeat dads are an endemic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me it’s been an absolute net positive. It helped me to open my eyes to how lame so many men are, and how they aren’t worth my time. Once my eyes were opened there was no turning back. No amount of propaganda in the world will turn me back. Call me a bitter old cat lady all you want. I could care less.

I live a life filled with peace and contentment. I go where I want to go, when I want to go. I have an amazing career that brings me job and pays big bucks. It’s an area that’s supposed to for men. But so what…. I like money too. I have fabulous group of friends, a beloved cat, and a boy toy to meet physical needs who I NEVER let live with me and start dirtying up my house.

Same here. 50/50 custody has allowed me to advance my career and I'm better off financially now than when I was married. Plus I'm not spending hours a week cooking and cleaning up after a man, so I have so much more free time. I have a BF who knows he needs to be a net positive in my life, and he does more for me, my kids, and my house than my xH ever did.

Reality is men don't "prioritize" marriage in the sense their marriage isn't a top priority for them. They're the main character, and everyone is there to help them out. No thanks.

Yassss ladies. 🔥

[Anonymous]

My experience is that the men who prattle on about traditional gender roles don't have the income to actually support a family. So what they actually want is a wife who works and does all the housework and childcare.

So these men don't want true traditional gender roles, they want to be big man babies.