Did you buy alcohol for your Freshman when you dropped them off?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If so, what is the reasoning?

How is this even a question?

They have the fake id so they can buy it themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are picking up 3 cases of beer for my DS. But I guess I’m in the minority of parents. I was also the one who signed on the beach week house and have hosted small gatherings at my house. Guess what, my kid also trusts me to tell me stuff. Sure it’s unorthodox but I’d rather my DS have the trust to tell me if he’s in trouble or needs advice than not. And FWIW, I bought him condoms and plan B too. (Saves him the $50).

Ew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like dcurbanmom has hit a new low today between this thread and the sorority video one. I’m a parent, not my kid’s friend. I don’t buy alcohol, condoms, or share videos of scantily dressed rear shaking. I’m no prude but that’s just not how I see my role. And for those of you who supply alcohol to underage kids, especially high school, you are legally liable if anything happens. Be the adult.

Agree with you for everything except buying condoms. I did all I could to educate my kids, but if they choose to have sex I want them to have safe sex...so they know I will fund condoms or anything else they need. But the rest is theirs to figure out. I'm not hosting HS drinking parties...then again, all 3 of my kids survived HS without drinking (yes I know it is true)...they were not the type to attend parties like that. They had a good group of friends and most did not drink. Those that did did so with other groups (who liked to drink). It is possible to get thru HS without a kid drinking much or any. And those kids can also be "popular" and happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like dcurbanmom has hit a new low today between this thread and the sorority video one. I’m a parent, not my kid’s friend. I don’t buy alcohol, condoms, or share videos of scantily dressed rear shaking. I’m no prude but that’s just not how I see my role. And for those of you who supply alcohol to underage kids, especially high school, you are legally liable if anything happens. Be the adult.

Agree with you for everything except buying condoms. I did all I could to educate my kids, but if they choose to have sex I want them to have safe sex...so they know I will fund condoms or anything else they need. But the rest is theirs to figure out. I'm not hosting HS drinking parties...then again, all 3 of my kids survived HS without drinking (yes I know it is true)...they were not the type to attend parties like that. They had a good group of friends and most did not drink. Those that did did so with other groups (who liked to drink). It is possible to get thru HS without a kid drinking much or any. And those kids can also be "popular" and happy.

Agree! And I will admit that I’ve wavered on the condoms. There’s just a part of me that feels like you should be responsible enough to buy your own condoms if you’re having sex. But the costs are pretty damn high if they are not so I will ponder some more.

[Anonymous]

No. The kid needs to figure out how to get a fake ID like everyone else.

I would drop off condoms however.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If so, what is the reasoning?

Um, no. There is no valid reason to do it and no upside, either.

Like WTF.

The reasoning is, if you have a girl especially and they will drink whether or not you supply it, it's safer for them to know what they are drinking.

Or you talk with them about never leaving their drink unsupervised, drinking beer or one of the other drinks that come in individual bottles or cans, just educating them on how to handle situations. There is no need to supply them with alcohol. They need to know “how” to navigate things, not be handed supplies with none of the life skills.

Life skills take a back seat once the drinking begins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are picking up 3 cases of beer for my DS. But I guess I’m in the minority of parents. I was also the one who signed on the beach week house and have hosted small gatherings at my house. Guess what, my kid also trusts me to tell me stuff. Sure it’s unorthodox but I’d rather my DS have the trust to tell me if he’s in trouble or needs advice than not. And FWIW, I bought him condoms and plan B too. (Saves him the $50).

Did you discuss what you would serve at your "small gatherings " with the parents of the underage kids, before serving them alcohol in your house?

You do know that there are studies that demonstrate that permissive parenting like what you do leads to negative outcomes, don't you?

What I've learned is to not take a single day for granted. I have full trust in my kids to be kind and respectful. I have an older kid in college who calls and texts me all the time. What negative outcomes could possibly occur?

[Anonymous]

???

[Anonymous]

I bought condoms and ZBiotics- as a parent I don't want to encourage risky behavior but I do see my roles as making it easier for DC to make safer choices

[Anonymous]

Those that think buying condoms is the same or worse than buying underage kids alcohol are using a false energy. The analogy for sex compared to buying alcohol for underage drinking would be taking buying your teenager a prostitute.

[Anonymous]

Why would I do that? That’s a luxury item. They can spend their own money on that. You spoil your kids, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. What a weird question. I don’t know anyone that would do this.

Same. What decent parent buys alcohol for a 17 yr old?!

One who loves them enough to keep them from seeking out older frat guys to help them procure the booze they're going to drink anyway?

So instead of teaching her not to get drunk with strange men, you give her alcohol so she is already wasted by the time she gets to the frat party? What a way to set her up for success.

You do know kids drink at college, right?

Sorry, rather her have her mixing her own drinks than letting some rapist at a frat do it.

Some do. Some don't.

Tell yourself what you need to if it helps you sleep better at night, but the more you shelter your kid, the wilder they're going to go at college when they escape from your overbearing grip.

Half do, half don't.https://share.google/1WCH5xrPWlAHla9pg

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If so, what is the reasoning?

Um, no. There is no valid reason to do it and no upside, either.

Like WTF.

The reasoning is, if you have a girl especially and they will drink whether or not you supply it, it's safer for them to know what they are drinking.

Or you talk with them about never leaving their drink unsupervised, drinking beer or one of the other drinks that come in individual bottles or cans, just educating them on how to handle situations. There is no need to supply them with alcohol. They need to know “how” to navigate things, not be handed supplies with none of the life skills.

Life skills take a back seat once the drinking begins.

Which is why sending them to the party already drunk because they pregamed in their dorm room is not a safety strategy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are picking up 3 cases of beer for my DS. But I guess I’m in the minority of parents. I was also the one who signed on the beach week house and have hosted small gatherings at my house. Guess what, my kid also trusts me to tell me stuff. Sure it’s unorthodox but I’d rather my DS have the trust to tell me if he’s in trouble or needs advice than not. And FWIW, I bought him condoms and plan B too. (Saves him the $50).

Did you discuss what you would serve at your "small gatherings " with the parents of the underage kids, before serving them alcohol in your house?

You do know that there are studies that demonstrate that permissive parenting like what you do leads to negative outcomes, don't you?

What I've learned is to not take a single day for granted. I have full trust in my kids to be kind and respectful. I have an older kid in college who calls and texts me all the time. What negative outcomes could possibly occur?

You didn't answer the question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No all the freshman have fake ID's why would they need me to buy alcohol?

I was going to say the same thing.

What's interesting is that people are outraged simply because the US has a 21 drinking age.

You may decline, but I don't think anyone would be reacting as much if the question was "did you buy your student alcohol when you dropped them off at Oxford?" At the least, the reactions may be more along the lines that they can use their own money for that.

I will be dropping my DC off at a school in another country (not Oxford and not the UK) where the drinking age is 18 and it has never occurred to me to buy her alcohol for her dorm room. That's what the pub/neighborhood bar/student union is for -- to go out for a drink and meet fellow students.