Did you buy alcohol for your Freshman when you dropped them off?

[Anonymous]

This is wild to me. Yes, college kids drink and have sex. But acquiring alcohol and condoms used to all be part of the experience of life. You had to do the work to have the crazy times. No wonder young adults nowadays have no ability to hold jobs or do anything requiring effort when helicopter parenting has reached the point where the kids don't even have to get creative to get their alcohol anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If so, what is the reasoning?

Um, no. There is no valid reason to do it and no upside, either.

Like WTF.

The reasoning is, if you have a girl especially and they will drink whether or not you supply it, it's safer for them to know what they are drinking.

Or you talk with them about never leaving their drink unsupervised, drinking beer or one of the other drinks that come in individual bottles or cans, just educating them on how to handle situations. There is no need to supply them with alcohol. They need to know “how” to navigate things, not be handed supplies with none of the life skills.

[Anonymous]

I don't support unhealthy habits. Period. At any age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hell no. It's illegal.

So? It’s also illegal to host high schoolers for small “friends only” drinking in your house, but we all have done it. This is just an extension.

WTF? I have 4 kids, 2 are now 21+. I never served alcohol to their small friend group when they were underage.
The closest was serving a glass of wine to their significant others (college age) at a holiday meal. Never in high school.

[Anonymous]

We are picking up 3 cases of beer for my DS. But I guess I’m in the minority of parents. I was also the one who signed on the beach week house and have hosted small gatherings at my house. Guess what, my kid also trusts me to tell me stuff. Sure it’s unorthodox but I’d rather my DS have the trust to tell me if he’s in trouble or needs advice than not. And FWIW, I bought him condoms and plan B too. (Saves him the $50).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are picking up 3 cases of beer for my DS. But I guess I’m in the minority of parents. I was also the one who signed on the beach week house and have hosted small gatherings at my house. Guess what, my kid also trusts me to tell me stuff. Sure it’s unorthodox but I’d rather my DS have the trust to tell me if he’s in trouble or needs advice than not. And FWIW, I bought him condoms and plan B too. (Saves him the $50).

Did you discuss what you would serve at your "small gatherings " with the parents of the underage kids, before serving them alcohol in your house?

You do know that there are studies that demonstrate that permissive parenting like what you do leads to negative outcomes, don't you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hell no. It's illegal.

So? It’s also illegal to host high schoolers for small “friends only” drinking in your house, but we all have done it. This is just an extension.

Most of us never do that.

[Anonymous]

I did not do this but other parents certainly did leave their freshman with beer, vodka, mixers, etc., and restocked them every time they came to town for a football game, parent weekend etc.

Guess what, my kid trusted me enough to tell me he got stupidly drunk his first night in the dorm courtesy of the alcohol supplied by the parents of the kid across the hall He learned pretty quickly not to be stupid about drinking.

[Anonymous]

More common than you may think. Parents trying to keep kids from criminal record from fake IDs.

[Anonymous]

No, he can figure that out himself.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Nope but I did pack condoms. Along the lines of having a drink at home, I gave her, her first gummy. Better to know what it feels like safe at home. I’m not buying alcohol or weed for her.

So, you basically told her "go have sex with people you don't know!" on her first night? why not give her booze and drugs too?

Do you really believe your 18+ college kid isn’t having sex?

why is it any better to give them condoms than give them a bottle of tequila?

Giving your kid condoms is not like giving your kid tequila it’s like giving them an uber account so they don’t drink a ride.

A pack of condoms on the first day of college is literally encouraging them to have sex with strangers. Maybe that's what you want for your kids? But god forbid they have a bottle of tequila!

The latter is not legal.

Right?!?!? Incredible how some cannot see the difference (and I was letting my kids have the occasional drink with the family since they were 14/15, but I'm not supplying alcohol for them at college until they are 21+)

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No. What a weird question. I don’t know anyone that would do this.

Same. What decent parent buys alcohol for a 17 yr old?!

One who loves them enough to keep them from seeking out older frat guys to help them procure the booze they're going to drink anyway?

So instead of teaching her not to get drunk with strange men, you give her alcohol so she is already wasted by the time she gets to the frat party? What a way to set her up for success.

You do know kids drink at college, right?

Sorry, rather her have her mixing her own drinks than letting some rapist at a frat do it.

And most kids in college are quite capable of finding someone to purchase alcohol for them so they can mix their own drinks before heading to the frat parties. Easy to do, no need for parents to supply it

Hey if you want your teen daughter going down to the frat house and “put in work” to get booze… well, it’s not what I’d wish for my daughter. Maybe you’re different.

well that is not my Daughter's style at all. Also, she figured out ways to get alcohol and mix their own during freshman year and wasn't 21 until senior year. Very sad if you have a kid who feels the need to "put out" with random strangers to get vodka. You have much bigger issues

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No judgement as I understand the rationale but no I did not and would not.
My advice is don't drink anything you didn't open yourself and keep with you, i.e. pretty much means beer. Always have a designated sober girl for every party and never leave anyone behind or let them off by themselves.
This is a genuine concern I just don't think you supplying the booze is the answer.
By the way vast majority of colleges do checks on dorm rooms and will confiscate booze from students under 21 and also subject them to the disciplinary process.
Definitely check the rules at your school before bringing alcohol into your kid's room

That is why your kid wanted a storage ottoman. Apparently, most schools cannot open the kid’s personal property so they all store the alcohol there (or at least at my kid’s college).

Yup, that was true at all 3 of my kid's universities. They cannot open personal property during a search of the dorm room. So you are stupid to store it anywhere other than your own property (ideally in something that is not clear)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hell no. It's illegal.

So? It’s also illegal to host high schoolers for small “friends only” drinking in your house, but we all have done it. This is just an extension.

Actually, we have not "all done it". Never hosting parties for HS kids.

Did (after asking my kid's friends parents for approval---the parents were my good friends as well) offer drinks to my kid's friends, but it's while we are together as a family with the kids and their friends...not for them to just blindly drink as HSers. And that is very different

[Anonymous]

I feel like dcurbanmom has hit a new low today between this thread and the sorority video one. I’m a parent, not my kid’s friend. I don’t buy alcohol, condoms, or share videos of scantily dressed rear shaking. I’m no prude but that’s just not how I see my role. And for those of you who supply alcohol to underage kids, especially high school, you are legally liable if anything happens. Be the adult.