Did you buy alcohol for your Freshman when you dropped them off?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't support unhealthy habits. Period. At any age.

Do you consider hook up oral sex an unhealthy habit?

Not understanding how complicated people are making this Q. Did you buy your college kids alcohol when you helped move them into their dorm? And why/why not?

What does oral sex have to do with this?

[Anonymous]

No. But since it was brought up in the thread, I will be sending my DS with what I hope, (but don't want to know) is an supply of condoms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. Many reasons. First, it's illegal.

Beyond that, this is not the 80's where everyone looks the other way (yes, my and friends' parents bought booze for our graduation parties at their homes). Off the top of my head, you could be liable criminally if your kid let's other drink your purchased booze at school. What if someone drinks, drives, and kills someone, and you provided the alcohol? Further, you could cause the dorm contract to be invalidated, based on the rules in the housing contract you agreed to if it's found in the dorm.

In the 80s (until 1985 in my state and many others) it was legal to drink at age 18. One high school tradition in the 70s and 80s was the 18 year old seniors cutting school early on friends' birthdays to go for a celebratory first drink, such as sharing a 6 pack from the liquor store in the school patking lot.

Have you ever watched "It's a Wonderful Life"? In the beginning when the high school son is getting ready to go to the high school dsnce, the mom warns him not to drink too much. 1930s.

Since it was legal in most states to drink at 18 for most of the 1980s and before, parents and people in general has a much more accepting attitude towards teens drinking, even after the drinking age moved to 21 in the mid 1980s. Parents would do things like buy the celebratory champagne for prom. Our high school tradition and many high school traditions was to give out a commemorative souvenir champagne glass with the prom logo on it to the seniors. I was on the prom committee back in the late 80s, and the high school spirit gear catalogues had pages and pages of themed champagne glasses, next to the pompoms, spirit banners, homecoming tiaras and balloons. These still were sold until at least the early 90s when my younger siblings graduated, nearly a decade after the drinking age was 21.

It was a very different time, and kids were not so bingy and sneaky about alcohol.

While I wouldn't condone my kid slamming down a brewsky on their senior picnic, it was a much more European approach to alcohol than the current model.

I would definitely not buy the booze for a minor now, even as a college dorm warming gift.

Drinking laws are so much stricter now than when we were teens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No all the freshman have fake ID's why would they need me to buy alcohol?

True.

Especially at UVA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. Many reasons. First, it's illegal.

Beyond that, this is not the 80's where everyone looks the other way (yes, my and friends' parents bought booze for our graduation parties at their homes). Off the top of my head, you could be liable criminally if your kid let's other drink your purchased booze at school. What if someone drinks, drives, and kills someone, and you provided the alcohol? Further, you could cause the dorm contract to be invalidated, based on the rules in the housing contract you agreed to if it's found in the dorm.

In the 80s (until 1985 in my state and many others) it was legal to drink at age 18. One high school tradition in the 70s and 80s was the 18 year old seniors cutting school early on friends' birthdays to go for a celebratory first drink, such as sharing a 6 pack from the liquor store in the school patking lot.

Have you ever watched "It's a Wonderful Life"? In the beginning when the high school son is getting ready to go to the high school dsnce, the mom warns him not to drink too much. 1930s.

Since it was legal in most states to drink at 18 for most of the 1980s and before, parents and people in general has a much more accepting attitude towards teens drinking, even after the drinking age moved to 21 in the mid 1980s. Parents would do things like buy the celebratory champagne for prom. Our high school tradition and many high school traditions was to give out a commemorative souvenir champagne glass with the prom logo on it to the seniors. I was on the prom committee back in the late 80s, and the high school spirit gear catalogues had pages and pages of themed champagne glasses, next to the pompoms, spirit banners, homecoming tiaras and balloons. These still were sold until at least the early 90s when my younger siblings graduated, nearly a decade after the drinking age was 21.

It was a very different time, and kids were not so bingy and sneaky about alcohol.

While I wouldn't condone my kid slamming down a brewsky on their senior picnic, it was a much more European approach to alcohol than the current model.

I would definitely not buy the booze for a minor now, even as a college dorm warming gift.

Drinking laws are so much stricter now than when we were teens.

I graduated from high school in 1979 and became legal to drink at 18. Each year after that, the State of Massachusetts raised the age by one year, stopping at 21.

The rate of fatalities from drunk driving went down dramatically after the drinking age was raised. Given what we know about young adult brain development, that's not surprising.

The "European approach" to drinking, meaning permissive and often referenced in this forum, is actually problematic in that statistically it leads to negative outcomes including alcohol abuse in adulthood. See studies referenced on the previous page of this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like dcurbanmom has hit a new low today between this thread and the sorority video one. I’m a parent, not my kid’s friend. I don’t buy alcohol, condoms, or share videos of scantily dressed rear shaking. I’m no prude but that’s just not how I see my role. And for those of you who supply alcohol to underage kids, especially high school, you are legally liable if anything happens. Be the adult.

Agree with you for everything except buying condoms. I did all I could to educate my kids, but if they choose to have sex I want them to have safe sex...so they know I will fund condoms or anything else they need. But the rest is theirs to figure out. I'm not hosting HS drinking parties...then again, all 3 of my kids survived HS without drinking (yes I know it is true)...they were not the type to attend parties like that. They had a good group of friends and most did not drink. Those that did did so with other groups (who liked to drink). It is possible to get thru HS without a kid drinking much or any. And those kids can also be "popular" and happy.

Agree! And I will admit that I’ve wavered on the condoms. There’s just a part of me that feels like you should be responsible enough to buy your own condoms if you’re having sex. But the costs are pretty damn high if they are not so I will ponder some more.

Schools offer condoms free all over the place. They are very easy to get in college without buying them.

Many kids are uncomfortable asking for that especially if they are new to having sex. Also they might now be accessible when the need arises unexpectedly. Every responsible parent should be packing condoms.

I have 3 kids (rising 8th son; rising Jr daughter & rising college freshman daughter). I keep condoms in the guest bathroom at home along with bandaids, advil, tampons, extra toothbrushes & toothpaste. They all know they are there if needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like dcurbanmom has hit a new low today between this thread and the sorority video one. I’m a parent, not my kid’s friend. I don’t buy alcohol, condoms, or share videos of scantily dressed rear shaking. I’m no prude but that’s just not how I see my role. And for those of you who supply alcohol to underage kids, especially high school, you are legally liable if anything happens. Be the adult.

Agree with you for everything except buying condoms. I did all I could to educate my kids, but if they choose to have sex I want them to have safe sex...so they know I will fund condoms or anything else they need. But the rest is theirs to figure out. I'm not hosting HS drinking parties...then again, all 3 of my kids survived HS without drinking (yes I know it is true)...they were not the type to attend parties like that. They had a good group of friends and most did not drink. Those that did did so with other groups (who liked to drink). It is possible to get thru HS without a kid drinking much or any. And those kids can also be "popular" and happy.

Agree! And I will admit that I’ve wavered on the condoms. There’s just a part of me that feels like you should be responsible enough to buy your own condoms if you’re having sex. But the costs are pretty damn high if they are not so I will ponder some more.

Schools offer condoms free all over the place. They are very easy to get in college without buying them.

Many kids are uncomfortable asking for that especially if they are new to having sex. Also they might now be accessible when the need arises unexpectedly. Every responsible parent should be packing condoms.

The need? It’s not a need, it’s a desire. I asked my kid about this on our Target run yesterday. He said, omg, mom, I’ll buy my own, who has their mommy buy them condoms? Also, I’m not the one packing.

Condoms are a need when your kid is hooking up and Target isn’t open at midnight. If you don’t buy them there is a 50/50 chance your kid is having unprotected sex.

If I don’t buy them? I’m not a helicopter mom. Perhaps the young adult I raised could go out and buy them and have some on hand. Or maybe refrain from penetration until they are better prepared or even cut the night short. It’s not really for me to say. It’s not my sex life or my business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like dcurbanmom has hit a new low today between this thread and the sorority video one. I’m a parent, not my kid’s friend. I don’t buy alcohol, condoms, or share videos of scantily dressed rear shaking. I’m no prude but that’s just not how I see my role. And for those of you who supply alcohol to underage kids, especially high school, you are legally liable if anything happens. Be the adult.

Agree with you for everything except buying condoms. I did all I could to educate my kids, but if they choose to have sex I want them to have safe sex...so they know I will fund condoms or anything else they need. But the rest is theirs to figure out. I'm not hosting HS drinking parties...then again, all 3 of my kids survived HS without drinking (yes I know it is true)...they were not the type to attend parties like that. They had a good group of friends and most did not drink. Those that did did so with other groups (who liked to drink). It is possible to get thru HS without a kid drinking much or any. And those kids can also be "popular" and happy.

Agree! And I will admit that I’ve wavered on the condoms. There’s just a part of me that feels like you should be responsible enough to buy your own condoms if you’re having sex. But the costs are pretty damn high if they are not so I will ponder some more.

Schools offer condoms free all over the place. They are very easy to get in college without buying them.

Many kids are uncomfortable asking for that especially if they are new to having sex. Also they might now be accessible when the need arises unexpectedly. Every responsible parent should be packing condoms.

The need? It’s not a need, it’s a desire. I asked my kid about this on our Target run yesterday. He said, omg, mom, I’ll buy my own, who has their mommy buy them condoms? Also, I’m not the one packing.

Condoms are a need when your kid is hooking up and Target isn’t open at midnight. If you don’t buy them there is a 50/50 chance your kid is having unprotected sex.

If I don’t buy them? I’m not a helicopter mom. Perhaps the young adult I raised could go out and buy them and have some on hand. Or maybe refrain from penetration until they are better prepared or even cut the night short. It’s not really for me to say. It’s not my sex life or my business.

Don’t be mad when your kid gets herpes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. What a weird question. I don’t know anyone that would do this.

Same. What decent parent buys alcohol for a 17 yr old?!

One who loves them enough to keep them from seeking out older frat guys to help them procure the booze they're going to drink anyway?

So instead of teaching her not to get drunk with strange men, you give her alcohol so she is already wasted by the time she gets to the frat party? What a way to set her up for success.

You do know kids drink at college, right?

Sorry, rather her have her mixing her own drinks than letting some rapist at a frat do it.

Well, that's called pre-gaming. And then they go to the frat party anyway.

You're not helping your kid by supplying your 17/18 year old with alcohol. It's actually very cringe.

Also, this isn't the 90s. This generation drinks far less than their parents generation. Sure, some kids choose to get wasted on alcohol, but it's not really the norm for Gen Z anymore. Certainly compared to when their parents went to college.

Hahah, yeah, I'm sure you believe all that too. Did your daughter tell you that?



there's clueless parents in every generation!

My daughter texted a thank you and as I said earlier was very happy to have us drop off little shipments when we came to visit.

It’s not a shipment if you delivered it directly to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope but I did pack condoms. Along the lines of having a drink at home, I gave her, her first gummy. Better to know what it feels like safe at home. I’m not buying alcohol or weed for her.

So, you basically told her "go have sex with people you don't know!" on her first night? why not give her booze and drugs too?

Do you really believe your 18+ college kid isn’t having sex?

why is it any better to give them condoms than give them a bottle of tequila?

Giving your kid condoms is not like giving your kid tequila it’s like giving them an uber account so they don’t drink a ride.

A pack of condoms on the first day of college is literally encouraging them to have sex with strangers. Maybe that's what you want for your kids? But god forbid they have a bottle of tequila!

No it’s not. Condoms don’t expire for a long time. You could probably graduate without having used them and they’d still be good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. What a weird question. I don’t know anyone that would do this.

Same. What decent parent buys alcohol for a 17 yr old?!

One who loves them enough to keep them from seeking out older frat guys to help them procure the booze they're going to drink anyway?

So instead of teaching her not to get drunk with strange men, you give her alcohol so she is already wasted by the time she gets to the frat party? What a way to set her up for success.

You do know kids drink at college, right?

Sorry, rather her have her mixing her own drinks than letting some rapist at a frat do it.

And most kids in college are quite capable of finding someone to purchase alcohol for them so they can mix their own drinks before heading to the frat parties. Easy to do, no need for parents to supply it

Hey if you want your teen daughter going down to the frat house and “put in work” to get booze… well, it’s not what I’d wish for my daughter. Maybe you’re different.

Why do you think the only ways to get booze are from mom and dad or the frat house? I went to a women’s college and we had booze, but no man or parent supplied it. 21+ women can buy alcohol, too!

#themoreyouknow

[Anonymous]

Yes. He's a wine snob, and I got him some that he likes.

But he grew up in Europe where he had wine from his early teen years, and has done multiple workshops and education courses over the years. He's very discerning

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like dcurbanmom has hit a new low today between this thread and the sorority video one. I’m a parent, not my kid’s friend. I don’t buy alcohol, condoms, or share videos of scantily dressed rear shaking. I’m no prude but that’s just not how I see my role. And for those of you who supply alcohol to underage kids, especially high school, you are legally liable if anything happens. Be the adult.

Agree with you for everything except buying condoms. I did all I could to educate my kids, but if they choose to have sex I want them to have safe sex...so they know I will fund condoms or anything else they need. But the rest is theirs to figure out. I'm not hosting HS drinking parties...then again, all 3 of my kids survived HS without drinking (yes I know it is true)...they were not the type to attend parties like that. They had a good group of friends and most did not drink. Those that did did so with other groups (who liked to drink). It is possible to get thru HS without a kid drinking much or any. And those kids can also be "popular" and happy.

Agree! And I will admit that I’ve wavered on the condoms. There’s just a part of me that feels like you should be responsible enough to buy your own condoms if you’re having sex. But the costs are pretty damn high if they are not so I will ponder some more.

Schools offer condoms free all over the place. They are very easy to get in college without buying them.

Many kids are uncomfortable asking for that especially if they are new to having sex. Also they might now be accessible when the need arises unexpectedly. Every responsible parent should be packing condoms.

The need? It’s not a need, it’s a desire. I asked my kid about this on our Target run yesterday. He said, omg, mom, I’ll buy my own, who has their mommy buy them condoms? Also, I’m not the one packing.

Condoms are a need when your kid is hooking up and Target isn’t open at midnight. If you don’t buy them there is a 50/50 chance your kid is having unprotected sex.

If I don’t buy them? I’m not a helicopter mom. Perhaps the young adult I raised could go out and buy them and have some on hand. Or maybe refrain from penetration until they are better prepared or even cut the night short. It’s not really for me to say. It’s not my sex life or my business.

Don’t be mad when your kid gets herpes.

Condoms don’t actually prevent herpes. You chose the one STI that they don’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. He's a wine snob, and I got him some that he likes.

But he grew up in Europe where he had wine from his early teen years, and has done multiple workshops and education courses over the years. He's very discerning

Sure, Europe allows 14 year olds to do “wine workshops.” Pull the other one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like dcurbanmom has hit a new low today between this thread and the sorority video one. I’m a parent, not my kid’s friend. I don’t buy alcohol, condoms, or share videos of scantily dressed rear shaking. I’m no prude but that’s just not how I see my role. And for those of you who supply alcohol to underage kids, especially high school, you are legally liable if anything happens. Be the adult.

Agree with you for everything except buying condoms. I did all I could to educate my kids, but if they choose to have sex I want them to have safe sex...so they know I will fund condoms or anything else they need. But the rest is theirs to figure out. I'm not hosting HS drinking parties...then again, all 3 of my kids survived HS without drinking (yes I know it is true)...they were not the type to attend parties like that. They had a good group of friends and most did not drink. Those that did did so with other groups (who liked to drink). It is possible to get thru HS without a kid drinking much or any. And those kids can also be "popular" and happy.

Agree! And I will admit that I’ve wavered on the condoms. There’s just a part of me that feels like you should be responsible enough to buy your own condoms if you’re having sex. But the costs are pretty damn high if they are not so I will ponder some more.

Schools offer condoms free all over the place. They are very easy to get in college without buying them.

Many kids are uncomfortable asking for that especially if they are new to having sex. Also they might now be accessible when the need arises unexpectedly. Every responsible parent should be packing condoms.

The need? It’s not a need, it’s a desire. I asked my kid about this on our Target run yesterday. He said, omg, mom, I’ll buy my own, who has their mommy buy them condoms? Also, I’m not the one packing.

Condoms are a need when your kid is hooking up and Target isn’t open at midnight. If you don’t buy them there is a 50/50 chance your kid is having unprotected sex.

If I don’t buy them? I’m not a helicopter mom. Perhaps the young adult I raised could go out and buy them and have some on hand. Or maybe refrain from penetration until they are better prepared or even cut the night short. It’s not really for me to say. It’s not my sex life or my business.

Don’t be mad when your kid gets herpes.

Condoms don’t actually prevent herpes. You chose the one STI that they don’t.

Wouldn’t matter since you don’t buy your kid condoms.