How frequent is sex in your relationship?

[Anonymous]

Newish relationship (15 months). I'm 55 (female) and he is 54. We do it every day with a few exceptions when we travel for business or visit family. I enjoy it very much. Sex was non-existant in my marriage of 26 years. I never thought that I will find love or passion again, yet here I am.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
If wives did for their husbands what they’ll do for random guys there’d be a lot lower divorce rate.[b]

DW 62, DH 61

Maybe once per month. And not nearly enough for this DH.

Wife lets it all hang out when out-on-the-town with girlfriends. At home is a frost-covered prude!

[Anonymous]

If wives did for their husbands what they’ll do for random guys there’d be a lot lower divorce rate.

Agree 100%

DW 62, DH 61

Maybe once per month. And not nearly enough for this DH.

Wife lets it all hang out when out-on-the-town with girlfriends. At home is a frost-covered prude!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If wives did for their husbands what they’ll do for random guys there’d be a lot lower divorce rate.

Agree 100%

DW 62, DH 61

Maybe once per month. And not nearly enough for this DH.

Wife lets it all hang out when out-on-the-town with girlfriends. At home is a frost-covered prude!

Because her friends see her (not as a mom or a wife or an employee) and she feels like she can be herself. It's for HERSELF, not for the male gaze, FYI. That's why she does that in a safe space (with her friends) and not with you (who takes it only as an invitation, seeing her as a blow up doll, rather than a dynamic human being). Ask women why they hang out with gay men/go to gay clubs. It's the only time we're not being felt up or used.

[Anonymous]

This thread is comical. In the real world, dead bedroom marriages are 90% because the woman has lost her sexual drive. The reasons are varied and this is not a “blame” issue. But it is clear that these woman are choosing not to participate in this thread, so we get a bunch of outlier posts about women in their 40s/50s who want sex but their husbands won’t put out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is comical. In the real world, dead bedroom marriages are 90% because the woman has lost her sexual drive. The reasons are varied and this is not a “blame” issue. But it is clear that these woman are choosing not to participate in this thread, so we get a bunch of outlier posts about women in their 40s/50s who want sex but their husbands won’t put out.

It's comical that you don't want to explore the reasons why the sex drive is gone. Miraculously, many women get it back following divorce. Women don't want toddler husbands. They've gone through pregnancies, breastfeeding, perimenopause, menopause. Majority work ft jobs and do eveyrhing else with kids and at home. All without supportive partners. THAT is why sex drive disappears.

[Anonymous]

I am 55, DH is 54. Married 30 years.

When are kids were teens, it was a challenge.
Kids are now out of the house, and we are at about twice a week. Works for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is comical. In the real world, dead bedroom marriages are 90% because the woman has lost her sexual drive. The reasons are varied and this is not a “blame” issue. But it is clear that these woman are choosing not to participate in this thread, so we get a bunch of outlier posts about women in their 40s/50s who want sex but their husbands won’t put out.

When couples are asked about this separately the women almost always double or triples the frequency numbers. So once a week is really once a month, once a month is really once every 6 months, etc. It has something to do with project a certain image of their relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 50, he's 57, probably been more than a year without. I'm the lady in a hetero relationship but I'm not going to ask anymore. It is kind of depressing but I also can take care of business on my own.

+1
56 and 55 and it’s been well over two years now and I’m done bringing it up and asking. Just figured we’re over in that regard. Never thought that would be it so early but here we are. Can’t force him.

I'm the PP you quoted. I think mine has medical issues but he won't talk about it or get it addressed. We do snuggle at night but that's it, or quick kiss in the morning/before bed. It's like a 70s sitcom. Otherwise, an amazing marriage and partnership - like I'm not leaving or stepping out, but I have found some websites and take it from there.

Sounds exactly like stepping out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is comical. In the real world, dead bedroom marriages are 90% because the woman has lost her sexual drive. The reasons are varied and this is not a “blame” issue. But it is clear that these woman are choosing not to participate in this thread, so we get a bunch of outlier posts about women in their 40s/50s who want sex but their husbands won’t put out.

It's comical that you don't want to explore the reasons why the sex drive is gone. Miraculously, many women get it back following divorce. Women don't want toddler husbands. They've gone through pregnancies, breastfeeding, perimenopause, menopause. Majority work ft jobs and do eveyrhing else with kids and at home. All without supportive partners. THAT is why sex drive disappears.

Sex drive disappears because of familiarity, hormones, and age. It re-appears after divorce because of novelty - not because their post-divorce hookups are with supportive partners. That's ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is comical. In the real world, dead bedroom marriages are 90% because the woman has lost her sexual drive. The reasons are varied and this is not a “blame” issue. But it is clear that these woman are choosing not to participate in this thread, so we get a bunch of outlier posts about women in their 40s/50s who want sex but their husbands won’t put out.

It's comical that you don't want to explore the reasons why the sex drive is gone. Miraculously, many women get it back following divorce. Women don't want toddler husbands. They've gone through pregnancies, breastfeeding, perimenopause, menopause. Majority work ft jobs and do eveyrhing else with kids and at home. All without supportive partners. THAT is why sex drive disappears.

Sex drive disappears because of familiarity, hormones, and age. It re-appears after divorce because of novelty - not because their post-divorce hookups are with supportive partners. That's ridiculous.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is comical. In the real world, dead bedroom marriages are 90% because the woman has lost her sexual drive. The reasons are varied and this is not a “blame” issue. But it is clear that these woman are choosing not to participate in this thread, so we get a bunch of outlier posts about women in their 40s/50s who want sex but their husbands won’t put out.

It's comical that you don't want to explore the reasons why the sex drive is gone. Miraculously, many women get it back following divorce. Women don't want toddler husbands. They've gone through pregnancies, breastfeeding, perimenopause, menopause. Majority work ft jobs and do eveyrhing else with kids and at home. All without supportive partners. THAT is why sex drive disappears.

Sex drive disappears because of familiarity, hormones, and age. It re-appears after divorce because of novelty - not because their post-divorce hookups are with supportive partners. That's ridiculous.

I dont think PP was suggesting post-divorce partners are necessarily supportive. When you need support most is during the hard years of marriage and child-raising, and so many men fall short. And it is terrible to feel so unseen by your life partner. that’s why we dont want sex.

by the time we’re divorced, we’re usually past the worst of it, and have figured out how to manage it ourselves (in my case it was easier to manage it all without my ex). My new partner has an easier job. I still want to be seen, but I can manage the workload, it isn’t grinding me down anymore (kids are older, I’m not gunning at work anymore, etc). Seeing me is more like knowing my favorite takeout joint or planning fun dates. and yeah - sex is back.

[Anonymous]

45, married 17 years. We aim for once a week but it doesn’t always happen. Longer and I (wife) get grumpy. DH has lower drive and always has. It’s not great but at this point I figure at least we’re still having consistent sex which is better than many.

[Anonymous]

53 (Me,DH), and DW 54
Once, maybe twice a month. I would be quite happy with 2x/week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is comical. In the real world, dead bedroom marriages are 90% because the woman has lost her sexual drive. The reasons are varied and this is not a “blame” issue. But it is clear that these woman are choosing not to participate in this thread, so we get a bunch of outlier posts about women in their 40s/50s who want sex but their husbands won’t put out.

Some is novelty. But if a DH started treating his wife the way a love interest does, most of her drive would come back. It’s not biological. It’s situational.

It's comical that you don't want to explore the reasons why the sex drive is gone. Miraculously, many women get it back following divorce. Women don't want toddler husbands. They've gone through pregnancies, breastfeeding, perimenopause, menopause. Majority work ft jobs and do eveyrhing else with kids and at home. All without supportive partners. THAT is why sex drive disappears.

Sex drive disappears because of familiarity, hormones, and age. It re-appears after divorce because of novelty - not because their post-divorce hookups are with supportive partners. That's ridiculous.