‘I don’t have to hear my kid whine’; well, your kid’s chaperone does

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Communication is a TWO way street. When I send home messages on Class Dojo (we set up any new parent with the app during orientation) approximately 15/24 parents look at the message with the first 10 days. I also send the same message on paper in take home folders. This inability or disinterest in reading communication from the teacher has gotten significantly worse since appr. 2015. Before that, parents were much more on the ball. Also, parents didn’t flip out when it’s their fault they aren’t checking these two methods of communication. That’s also fairly new. Before that, parents would apologize if they missed important messages. Now they lash out at us.

Class Dojo is THE WORST. Why the heck can't we just have an email list? Or yeah, send notes home in folders. Class Dojo is trash software, I am always either getting like 14 notes from the school a day (about upcoming sporting events my kid isn't in, notices about what yesterday's spirit day theme was, etc.), or nothing. I cannot get Clas Dojo to alert me when my kid's teacher sends my a direct message, I just have to check the app periodically for it. Oh, and the stupid app created a "ghost" profile for my kid when she was in summer camp and it won't let me delete it.

Parents used to see and respond to teacher messages because they used to arrive a normal way. My mom was on top of things but if you'd subjected her to class Dojo, I think she would have homeschooled instead.

Most of my students’ parents don’t have email addresses so that wouldn’t work. I look at my kids’s Dojo accounts once or twice a day. It isn’t difficult. It takes maybe 2-3 minutes tops. The fact that all of this information ALSO comes home in my students’ folders means that there are many parents dropping the ball.

I'm sorry, but MOST of your students parents do not have email addresses? Babe, no. Maybe they don't check them, or maybe they won't provide them to you, but they all have email addresses.

Anyway, your solution to some parents not providing emails is to force everyone to use a crappy phone app? That makes no sense. Class Dojo is terrible. It doesn't work. And I say that as a parent who is on top of stuff and would check the weather before a field trip and in any case don't even buy my kid crap shoes like Crocs or flip flops -- those are pool shoes, not actual shoes.

Anyway, a huge problem with parental communication these days is the reliance in bad technology and multiple passive forms of communication by schools and educators. Yes parents are probably also crappier at communicating. But it's everyone's problem -- in my 8 years as a public school parent, ONE of my kids' teachers was good at communicating. And I work in comms. Schools are universally bad at it.

Guess what? Teachers have a primarily goal: teaching your child. Communicating with you is only one of the many tasks they have to complete on their own time because they have no time during their work day to do it.

I fail to see how it’s the teacher’s responsibility if parents CHOOSE not to communicate. I don’t care if it’s via email, Class Dojo, paper airplanes, or sign language. The teacher is communicating. Why don’t YOU take the responsibility to listen?

There’s one teacher communicating with almost 30 parents. She can only do so much. Why don’t you pick up a bit of the slack?

[Anonymous]

If I knew it was going to be raining all day at Hershey park, I’d suggest to my kid that she wears crocs and shorts, because being in wet sneakers and sweatpants is miserable and will make you even colder.
It was nice of you to buy ponchos for tye kids who need it, but maybe do it without the side dish of judgement next time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Communication is a TWO way street. When I send home messages on Class Dojo (we set up any new parent with the app during orientation) approximately 15/24 parents look at the message with the first 10 days. I also send the same message on paper in take home folders. This inability or disinterest in reading communication from the teacher has gotten significantly worse since appr. 2015. Before that, parents were much more on the ball. Also, parents didn’t flip out when it’s their fault they aren’t checking these two methods of communication. That’s also fairly new. Before that, parents would apologize if they missed important messages. Now they lash out at us.

Class Dojo is THE WORST. Why the heck can't we just have an email list? Or yeah, send notes home in folders. Class Dojo is trash software, I am always either getting like 14 notes from the school a day (about upcoming sporting events my kid isn't in, notices about what yesterday's spirit day theme was, etc.), or nothing. I cannot get Clas Dojo to alert me when my kid's teacher sends my a direct message, I just have to check the app periodically for it. Oh, and the stupid app created a "ghost" profile for my kid when she was in summer camp and it won't let me delete it.

Parents used to see and respond to teacher messages because they used to arrive a normal way. My mom was on top of things but if you'd subjected her to class Dojo, I think she would have homeschooled instead.

Most of my students’ parents don’t have email addresses so that wouldn’t work. I look at my kids’s Dojo accounts once or twice a day. It isn’t difficult. It takes maybe 2-3 minutes tops. The fact that all of this information ALSO comes home in my students’ folders means that there are many parents dropping the ball.

I'm sorry, but MOST of your students parents do not have email addresses? Babe, no. Maybe they don't check them, or maybe they won't provide them to you, but they all have email addresses.

Anyway, your solution to some parents not providing emails is to force everyone to use a crappy phone app? That makes no sense. Class Dojo is terrible. It doesn't work. And I say that as a parent who is on top of stuff and would check the weather before a field trip and in any case don't even buy my kid crap shoes like Crocs or flip flops -- those are pool shoes, not actual shoes.

Anyway, a huge problem with parental communication these days is the reliance in bad technology and multiple passive forms of communication by schools and educators. Yes parents are probably also crappier at communicating. But it's everyone's problem -- in my 8 years as a public school parent, ONE of my kids' teachers was good at communicating. And I work in comms. Schools are universally bad at it.

What would improve communication between teachers and parents? Not all parents speak English. Not all of them have email. Just curious what you think would make it better.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, but MOST of your students parents do not have email addresses? Babe, no. Maybe they don't check them, or maybe they won't provide them to you, but they all have email addresses.

Anyway, your solution to some parents not providing emails is to force everyone to use a crappy phone app? That makes no sense. Class Dojo is terrible. It doesn't work. And I say that as a parent who is on top of stuff and would check the weather before a field trip and in any case don't even buy my kid crap shoes like Crocs or flip flops -- those are pool shoes, not actual shoes.

Anyway, a huge problem with parental communication these days is the reliance in bad technology and multiple passive forms of communication by schools and educators. Yes parents are probably also crappier at communicating. But it's everyone's problem -- in my 8 years as a public school parent, ONE of my kids' teachers was good at communicating. And I work in comms. Schools are universally bad at it.


Most. That is correct. Looking at my grading portal, 8/24 kids have an email address listed for a parent. Nearly all of them are English speakers. Most of my non-English speaking parents don’t have one. Why is it so hard to believe that some parents are different than you?

[Anonymous]

It's strange that you frame this as a favor responsibility to the chaperones versus the kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t disagree with you OP. But I also am annoyed with you. Some of those parents probably argued with their kids to dress better, bring a raincoat, etc. Kids probably refused. So parents decided to let them suffer the natural consequences! You completely undermined that! Let them be cold. Let them be wet. Will they die? No. And next time they’ll listen to their parents and bring a raincoat.

You totally undermined and “rescued” those kids. Bad choice.

OP here. My daughter was fighting me about clothes the night before because she wanted to wear shorts and Crocs. I told her she would be wearing proper shoes and long pants, or she would be going to school for a regular school day and I would attend the trip as a chaperone without her. This is called parenting. There is no such thing as an 11yo “refusing” me when it comes to a special privilege like Hershey Park.

You have a different parenting style than some. I don't like the way you speak about ir to be honest and suspect it may backfire but I respect its your decision

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's strange that you frame this as a favor responsibility to the chaperones versus the kids

The trip itself is a favor to the kids. Do you think a bunch of adults want to take a vacation day off work to go to Hershey Park? Music competitions are great, but not necessary. They can certainly be held without a trip to a theme park. It is voluntary so no one has to go. You think a bunch of middle school kids don’t want to go to Hershey Park instead of school?

The favor wouldn’t be possible without parent volunteers and teachers, directors and additional work on the part of school administrators.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's strange that you frame this as a favor responsibility to the chaperones versus the kids

The trip itself is a favor to the kids. Do you think a bunch of adults want to take a vacation day off work to go to Hershey Park? Music competitions are great, but not necessary. They can certainly be held without a trip to a theme park. It is voluntary so no one has to go. You think a bunch of middle school kids don’t want to go to Hershey Park instead of school?

The favor wouldn’t be possible without parent volunteers and teachers, directors and additional work on the part of school administrators.

I think you misundestand what I am saying.
I mean the focus that you have -- of how this was so terible for the chaperones, v. the kids -- says something about your parenting style and viewpoint that I find interesting.
My perspective would have been: are you sure you don't want to dress more warmly? No? Then the kids suffer the consequences. I would never have seen this as something that the adults around my kids should take on, because the whole point is natural consequences for the KIDS, no you. But you decided it was your imperative to make it your problem and you seem angry at the parents about this.
To me it seems likely reflective of how you see resonsibility and whose it should be

[Anonymous]

^ & by the way, I have 3 kids. They all wear their coats at that age and we don't have these discussions anymore.

All of them are healthy and so them being cold and wet for a day might make tehm more suseptible to colds, but not a biggie.

I suspect parents who allow for natural consequences for their kids on average both have kids who are more responsible AND have higher self-esteem AND have a happier family life and relationship with their parents

You can disagree but I think we can allow for different strokes for different folks (well, you seem pretty rigid about what is beest but...)

[Anonymous]

Since my kid was in kindergarten I volunteered every year to watch her classroom while the teachers have a thank you lunch during teacher appreciation week. Last year when she was in 6th grade I signed up and they didn't have any 8th grade parents sign up and so they put me in an 8th grade class. Eighth grade at the end of the school year is a nightmare and kids were throwing squishmallows and someone got his glasses broken.

Anyway I say this to say the lessons learned were:
1) I realized chaperoning or volunteering in middle school is different than when they were younger
2)I realized I was not equipped nor did I enjoy volunteering for this age
3) I did not sign up this year to volunteer

Middle school students, especially around the clothing, is all group think. It's a special kind of crazy and sounds like it's not your kind of crazy. The teachers can handle because they are amazing people who sign up to deal with groups of these kids this age but sounds like it is not the right fit for you. You can't control the other parents nor these kids and what they are going to wear or complain about so maybe find another volunteer opportunity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'm sorry, but MOST of your students parents do not have email addresses? Babe, no. Maybe they don't check them, or maybe they won't provide them to you, but they all have email addresses.

Anyway, your solution to some parents not providing emails is to force everyone to use a crappy phone app? That makes no sense. Class Dojo is terrible. It doesn't work. And I say that as a parent who is on top of stuff and would check the weather before a field trip and in any case don't even buy my kid crap shoes like Crocs or flip flops -- those are pool shoes, not actual shoes.

Anyway, a huge problem with parental communication these days is the reliance in bad technology and multiple passive forms of communication by schools and educators. Yes parents are probably also crappier at communicating. But it's everyone's problem -- in my 8 years as a public school parent, ONE of my kids' teachers was good at communicating. And I work in comms. Schools are universally bad at it.

Most. That is correct. Looking at my grading portal, 8/24 kids have an email address listed for a parent. Nearly all of them are English speakers. Most of my non-English speaking parents don’t have one. Why is it so hard to believe that some parents are different than you?

This is DCUM…90%+ of us have kids at UMC schools where 95%+ have emails.

[Anonymous]

Good for you. Not everyone is like you. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are sweet to buy rain ponchos. Did they have sweatshirts for sale there? Kids should have brought enough money but maybe not.

The sweatshirts are really expensive. OP, thank you for looking after these kids. The parent who posted this didn't think their comment through. But honestly, yesterday, I didn't expect it to be so cold! And I checked the weather! It's only because I walk the dog in the morning that I actually felt the temp and told DD to change into long pants and long shirts before going to school. It's not surprising to me that multiple parents did not realize how cold it was going to get.

They still had to drop their kids off at the middle school early in the morning, right? You walk out to your car and see that it is cold and rainy, you send them back in for at the very least a rain jacket or a sweatshirt to bring with them.

The kids also walked out in the same conditions and could have made a different choice

Yes, but as parents of middle school kids, we have a duty to override the “I’m fine” and “it’s fine” and “whatevers” and prepare them for the day. Chaperones, teachers, coaches, directors, all these people have likely taken off work and are making an effort in order for your kids to have a special opportunity. The literal least you can do as a parent to make the day a success is…parent.

Letting them deal with the consequences of bad decisions is parenting.

This. I tell my kids the weather and let them decide what to wear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are sweet to buy rain ponchos. Did they have sweatshirts for sale there? Kids should have brought enough money but maybe not.

The sweatshirts are really expensive. OP, thank you for looking after these kids. The parent who posted this didn't think their comment through. But honestly, yesterday, I didn't expect it to be so cold! And I checked the weather! It's only because I walk the dog in the morning that I actually felt the temp and told DD to change into long pants and long shirts before going to school. It's not surprising to me that multiple parents did not realize how cold it was going to get.

They still had to drop their kids off at the middle school early in the morning, right? You walk out to your car and see that it is cold and rainy, you send them back in for at the very least a rain jacket or a sweatshirt to bring with them.

The kids also walked out in the same conditions and could have made a different choice

Yes, but as parents of middle school kids, we have a duty to override the “I’m fine” and “it’s fine” and “whatevers” and prepare them for the day. Chaperones, teachers, coaches, directors, all these people have likely taken off work and are making an effort in order for your kids to have a special opportunity. The literal least you can do as a parent to make the day a success is…parent.

Letting them deal with the consequences of bad decisions is parenting.

This. I tell my kids the weather and let them decide what to wear.

That’s great but you don’t have to hear their whining all day. The volunteer chaperones and teachers do. Do better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are sweet to buy rain ponchos. Did they have sweatshirts for sale there? Kids should have brought enough money but maybe not.

The sweatshirts are really expensive. OP, thank you for looking after these kids. The parent who posted this didn't think their comment through. But honestly, yesterday, I didn't expect it to be so cold! And I checked the weather! It's only because I walk the dog in the morning that I actually felt the temp and told DD to change into long pants and long shirts before going to school. It's not surprising to me that multiple parents did not realize how cold it was going to get.

They still had to drop their kids off at the middle school early in the morning, right? You walk out to your car and see that it is cold and rainy, you send them back in for at the very least a rain jacket or a sweatshirt to bring with them.

The kids also walked out in the same conditions and could have made a different choice

Yes, but as parents of middle school kids, we have a duty to override the “I’m fine” and “it’s fine” and “whatevers” and prepare them for the day. Chaperones, teachers, coaches, directors, all these people have likely taken off work and are making an effort in order for your kids to have a special opportunity. The literal least you can do as a parent to make the day a success is…parent.

Letting them deal with the consequences of bad decisions is parenting.

This. I tell my kids the weather and let them decide what to wear.

That’s great but you don’t have to hear their whining all day. The volunteer chaperones and teachers do. Do better.

Such fragile flowers don’t do well as middle school chaperones. Try and do better .