My girlfriend quietly collected her things and left without a word during an argument

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh wait, I'm the PP who said people were being dramatic. I didn't see the part about you calling her a liar. If she smart, she's not coming back. No one has to stay with someone who calls them insulting childish names. YTA.

If someone lied/is liar what else do you say? Am I not supposed to call that out?

Big picture: why do you want a GF who is a liar?

+1

What did she lie about?

About 1.5 months ago her friend came over and they went to brunch. Her friend is 34 with two kids and a husband by the way. The friend got drunk and was throwing up. My girlfriend got a call from her mom I guess because she couldn’t reach her friend/daughter. My gf told her that she was fine and the friend was with her and she’d have her (the friend) call her (the mom). I called her out for lying then and there. She said her mom is a very worrying helicopter parent and telling her how she was drunk would’ve sent her into a tailspin. The friend’s sister called too and she told the sister what happened and the sister said she had avoided their mom’s call because she knows how her mom gets. So, I told my gf that she should’ve just ignored her mom like the sister did instead of lying. She said her mom called her twice and avoiding her would’ve made it even worse, that she’s known her mom since they were teens and knows how to handle her. This turned into an argument then. We moved on from it the next day.

Fast forward to last night, she had mentioned something about honesty so I laughed and brought up her lying to her friend’s mom. She said she didn’t lie because she was fine because the friend was with her. I told her that’s not all she said to the mom because I heard her say, “girl we’re walking on U street and she had a few drinks”. She said she never said that and she knew I was embellishing because she would never talk to anyone’s parent that way. That she and her friend were back home already so why would she tell her mom they were walking around U street still, and if she was avoiding telling her mom she was drunk why would she tell her mom the friend had been drinking. She said she’d happily call her mom right now to repeat back what she told her that night. That’s when I said she was such a liar and I hated that for her and she left shortly after.

Oh yeah... Nah, bro. I'd have dumped your judgmental, meddling, controlling ass too. You got involved where it wasn't your place, offered unsolicited advice (which is always criticism), acted high and mighty and then not only picked a fight over your own stupid position, but refused to back down when asked?

The hill you chose to die on is a ridiculous one, but we'll remember you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone here is so dramatic.

It's entirely possible she is mature enough not to want to say something she'll regret, and so removed herself from the temptation. Text once to own your part of the argument and let her know how you feel, then leave the ball in her court.

See, I think her leaving is immature. I get if someone needs time to cool off but say that.

I think most people would say that yelling at her and calling her a liar is way more immature.

Not to mention that calling her a liar over something like this, that didn't involve him or impact him in any way, is such a STRONG claim of moral high ground that it just won't hold up. To be this sanctimonious, he'd have to have never once told even a minor white lie to protect a loved one (which is what she was doing). He's probably a full-blown bullshit artist, projecting hard onto her one "mistake" he feels a need to "hold her accountable" for, instead of holding himself accountable for his temper and his own behavior, even after she had to ask him to dial it down and rein it in.

OP is a loser, and his ex is smart to have left.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem with men getting angry at women is that women get scared violence may be coming. Men never worry that they'll get beat up or killed by a woman when they are in an argument with them.

OP, is it possible you made her feel unsafe?

How do you know OP isn't a woman? A lot of the posters on this forum are two female couples.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem with men getting angry at women is that women get scared violence may be coming. Men never worry that they'll get beat up or killed by a woman when they are in an argument with them.

OP, is it possible you made her feel unsafe?

Most educated and professional women in this day and age don't expect or receive any physical violence unless they are knowingly dating an addict or an abuser.

Of course nobody expects physical violence, that doesn't mean they don't receive it. You would be surprised, girl. At least one of your good friends is being abused. I have a friend who is in a powerful position at work, probably makes a million dollars a year between her salary and bonuses, and has no children, who is abused by her husband and she hasn't left him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh wait, I'm the PP who said people were being dramatic. I didn't see the part about you calling her a liar. If she smart, she's not coming back. No one has to stay with someone who calls them insulting childish names. YTA.

If someone lied/is liar what else do you say? Am I not supposed to call that out?

"You liar!" vs "I don't agree with that assessment" or "That isn't how I would characterize that."

Which would you react better to?

And as a PP said, if you're so convinced of her dishonesty such that you would scream an epithet at her, why do you want to stay with her anyway?

What if she actually did lie to him about something -- calling her a liar is warranted. I don't know why you all are upset about that part. This assumes she is a liar, which she may not be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh wait, I'm the PP who said people were being dramatic. I didn't see the part about you calling her a liar. If she smart, she's not coming back. No one has to stay with someone who calls them insulting childish names. YTA.

If someone lied/is liar what else do you say? Am I not supposed to call that out?

"You liar!" vs "I don't agree with that assessment" or "That isn't how I would characterize that."

Which would you react better to?

And as a PP said, if you're so convinced of her dishonesty such that you would scream an epithet at her, why do you want to stay with her anyway?

What if she actually did lie to him about something -- calling her a liar is warranted. I don't know why you all are upset about that part. This assumes she is a liar, which she may not be.

Have you not finished the thread? She didn’t lie to him. She didn’t even talk to him. He over heard her reassuring a friends mom, that’s it. He’s f***ing psycho.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh wait, I'm the PP who said people were being dramatic. I didn't see the part about you calling her a liar. If she smart, she's not coming back. No one has to stay with someone who calls them insulting childish names. YTA.

If someone lied/is liar what else do you say? Am I not supposed to call that out?

Big picture: why do you want a GF who is a liar?

+1

What did she lie about?

About 1.5 months ago her friend came over and they went to brunch. Her friend is 34 with two kids and a husband by the way. The friend got drunk and was throwing up. My girlfriend got a call from her mom I guess because she couldn’t reach her friend/daughter. My gf told her that she was fine and the friend was with her and she’d have her (the friend) call her (the mom). I called her out for lying then and there. She said her mom is a very worrying helicopter parent and telling her how she was drunk would’ve sent her into a tailspin. The friend’s sister called too and she told the sister what happened and the sister said she had avoided their mom’s call because she knows how her mom gets. So, I told my gf that she should’ve just ignored her mom like the sister did instead of lying. She said her mom called her twice and avoiding her would’ve made it even worse, that she’s known her mom since they were teens and knows how to handle her. This turned into an argument then. We moved on from it the next day.

Fast forward to last night, she had mentioned something about honesty so I laughed and brought up her lying to her friend’s mom. She said she didn’t lie because she was fine because the friend was with her. I told her that’s not all she said to the mom because I heard her say, “girl we’re walking on U street and she had a few drinks”. She said she never said that and she knew I was embellishing because she would never talk to anyone’s parent that way. That she and her friend were back home already so why would she tell her mom they were walking around U street still, and if she was avoiding telling her mom she was drunk why would she tell her mom the friend had been drinking. She said she’d happily call her mom right now to repeat back what she told her that night. That’s when I said she was such a liar and I hated that for her and she left shortly after.

Do you not have friends? Friends cover for each other with the parents. What did you do growing up, tattle on your buddies and rat them out to their moms?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem with men getting angry at women is that women get scared violence may be coming. Men never worry that they'll get beat up or killed by a woman when they are in an argument with them.

OP, is it possible you made her feel unsafe?

Most educated and professional women in this day and age don't expect or receive any physical violence unless they are knowingly dating an addict or an abuser.

Maybe this was the first time OP outed himself as a potential abuser and his ex GF saw this red flag and left. She’s smart - if she hadn’t done this she might be posting here in 1 years with 2 kids and an abusive DH and everyone would flame her for ignoring the red flags.

[Anonymous]

Just read your update. Oh my gosh, OP - such sanctimony and rigidity, not to mention disrespect and utterly black-and-white thinking. It would likely be impossible to remain in a relationship with you, please let her go.

Actually, your “voice” is so familiar; I think you are the guy who constantly used to post about your GF leaving you, and then trickle-truthing how awful you were. But she keeps going back to you, which I can’t fathom.

[Anonymous]

Sorry for typos ^

[Anonymous]

Well women lack accountability. They simply can’t handle conflict and lack proper communication. She seems incredibly immature to just walk out. She can’t effectively communicate. You dodged a bullet.

- Signed a woman who knows many women who refuse to take accountability for their actions and always blame someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well women lack accountability. They simply can’t handle conflict and lack proper communication. She seems incredibly immature to just walk out. She can’t effectively communicate. You dodged a bullet.

- Signed a woman who knows many women who refuse to take accountability for their actions and always blame someone else.

Controlling people start "conflict" and "arguments" to agressively demand that someone do what they want, and when the other person chooses not to engage in the manipulation tactic, they claim the other person is avoidant, not able to handle conflict, and not able to handle communication.

What you can do instead of ask someone if they'd like to do something calmly, in a non passive agressive or aggressive manner, and the other person can say yes or no. That's it. You can restate your cause, maybe one or two times, again, in a non passive aggresive or non aggresive manner, but that's it.

This is what I expect. I don't argue or engage in "conflict" with other adults.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps your girlfriend reached her breaking point in the relationship & could not take the arguing any longer.

I think it would be a great idea if the two of you cool off for a few days, then try to diplomatically discuss the issue you were arguing about directly.
If she refuses to continue the discussion w/you then that may be an obvious sign that she may be ready to throw in the towel on the relationship. 💔

Hope things work out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well women lack accountability. They simply can’t handle conflict and lack proper communication. She seems incredibly immature to just walk out. She can’t effectively communicate. You dodged a bullet.

- Signed a Tate-tainted MRA who believes what he reads on the manosphere

You tried tho...

[Anonymous]

Did someone post before on the friend telling. the mom her adult daughter was fine after a nite of drinking ? 😬