Moms with boys using men’s locker room?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s a mom of a boy. Her immunity to seeing peen is high I promise you. She’ll survive if she happens to glance yours.

You too will survive if she happens to see anything, and you’ll be unaware if she even did unless she stands gawking at your junk. In which case 1. Kudos or condolences. 2. You definitely should complain.

Otherwise just try and have empathy and go about your business.

LOL

Maybe Dads should bring their daughters into the women’s locker room. I’m sure they don’t care to look at your saggy boobs and stretch marked stomach. So what’s the big deal?

I would barf

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s a mom of a boy. Her immunity to seeing peen is high I promise you. She’ll survive if she happens to glance yours.

You too will survive if she happens to see anything, and you’ll be unaware if she even did unless she stands gawking at your junk. In which case 1. Kudos or condolences. 2. You definitely should complain.

Otherwise just try and have empathy and go about your business.

What are you talking about? If boys aren’t allowed in the women’s locker room, why in the world do you think this grown women is entitled to be in the men’s locker room? This man has a right to his privacy just as women do in their locker room. Take your kid home to change and shower if there isn’t a family locker room or individual bathroom

It’s not an ideal situation for all involved, and if he wants to complain he obviously has the right to, but it’s not the same as a Dad trying to sneak into a full women’s locker room.

You’ve got a room full of girls who (rightfully) don’t want to be naked and/or rinse off in the presence of a male classmate, their moms who I’m betting have told the boy mom off, a men’s locker room that is nearly if not entirely empty, and a mom just trying to get her kid dry and out of there. Guaranteed she’s more uncomfortable if there’s a naked guy in there then he even is and the last thing she’s focusing on is checking out his package.

If he’s that distressed by it then he certainly can say something, but being briefly undressed in the presence of a harried mom who isn’t there for him in the first place isn’t the biggest obstacle he’ll encounter in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s a mom of a boy. Her immunity to seeing peen is high I promise you. She’ll survive if she happens to glance yours.

You too will survive if she happens to see anything, and you’ll be unaware if she even did unless she stands gawking at your junk. In which case 1. Kudos or condolences. 2. You definitely should complain.

Otherwise just try and have empathy and go about your business.

What are you talking about? If boys aren’t allowed in the women’s locker room, why in the world do you think this grown women is entitled to be in the men’s locker room? This man has a right to his privacy just as women do in their locker room. Take your kid home to change and shower if there isn’t a family locker room or individual bathroom

It’s not an ideal situation for all involved, and if he wants to complain he obviously has the right to, but it’s not the same as a Dad trying to sneak into a full women’s locker room.

You’ve got a room full of girls who (rightfully) don’t want to be naked and/or rinse off in the presence of a male classmate, their moms who I’m betting have told the boy mom off, a men’s locker room that is nearly if not entirely empty, and a mom just trying to get her kid dry and out of there. Guaranteed she’s more uncomfortable if there’s a naked guy in there then he even is and the last thing she’s focusing on is checking out his package.

If he’s that distressed by it then he certainly can say something, but being briefly undressed in the presence of a harried mom who isn’t there for him in the first place isn’t the biggest obstacle he’ll encounter in life.

This comment helped me make sense of what happened. I couldn’t understand why the moms would storm the men’s locker room, but you’re probably right that they were hoping to find it empty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi all. I’m a childless dude (as will become obvious) who recently had a dumbfounding experience with a couple of moms that’s left me questioning if they were just presumptuous or way out of line and I’m looking for perspective:

I’m a regular swimmer at my local aquatic center, and it works out well for me because I can schedule my swims around times when the pools are sparsely populated. A couple of times in the past two weeks there’s been a kiddie swimming class going at approximately the same time. From what I see it’s a bunch of 5-7ish year old girls and a couple of boys all with their moms. No problem like I said there’s plenty of pool space and few people there.

So my most recent time there I finish my laps, head back to the MEN’S locker room, and get in the showers. I’m the only person in there. To my bewilderment, a couple of minutes later I hear kid voices and a couple of women’s voices. I glance out to see two little swim boys and their moms apparently going to use the men’s locker room to change them after class. Bear in mind this locker room is about as open floor plan as it gets. Sinks and stalls are in a nook to the side, but the main space is lockers like 3 sides of a rectangle + three long changes benches in the middle + the showers, which are a dozen or so showerheads but just one big space. There’s essentially no divide blocking me from them or vice versa.

I don’t acknowledge them, but apparently a naked guy showering in plain view didn’t deter them because I hear them carrying on. Now I’m basically done, but I stay in the shower for a couple of minutes waiting to see if they’ll be quick about it. Apparently not, & I’ve got to get going, so I grab a towel and walk to my locker (they at least chose to deal with the kids at the far end of a row whereas my stuff was at the near end). Again though, it’s a totally open space so I’m drying off completely visible to them. At this point I guess one of them felt compelled to at least acknowledge me and said something close if not verbatim to “Sorry about this. We just can’t change them with the girls in the womens”. Out of reflex I said “no worries” which afterwards I kind of regret. I zoomed through drying & dressing & left while they were still in there.

The whole sequence just left me kind of stunned. On the one hand, I didn’t personally feel traumatized or outraged in the moment. And I can understand the kids/moms not wanting to change boys & girls together and so they have to work around that. On the other hand, I’m now feeling like even if I wasn’t horrified I still should have complained out of principle? There’s zero chance if the genders were reversed this would ever be attempted let alone tolerated.

I have basically no frame of reference so I guess I’m seeking thoughts in case this happens again. I know I would be within my rights to complain, but is it a case where all involved would then be thinking: Really dude? You got to make this a thing? or were these moms way outside the norm and I should say something regardless?

The problem is that the situations are reversed and not just attempted but tolerated. Some men around the country are indeed claiming that they should have access to women’s private spaces (and some crazy people are agreeing with them). But you’re right that it’s completely unacceptable - both ways. People with breasts should stay in the female section and people with penises should stay in the male section. If it happens again, tell her that she needs to call out first and make sure there’s nobody in there, or better still send in a male employee to check first. Or at very least send in her boy quickly to run in and out and tell you if someone is in there already. That’s what I do if I need to take in my boy (unfortunately it’s just not a safe world to let young boys go into a bathroom with men).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s a mom of a boy. Her immunity to seeing peen is high I promise you. She’ll survive if she happens to glance yours.

You too will survive if she happens to see anything, and you’ll be unaware if she even did unless she stands gawking at your junk. In which case 1. Kudos or condolences. 2. You definitely should complain.

Otherwise just try and have empathy and go about your business.

What are you talking about? If boys aren’t allowed in the women’s locker room, why in the world do you think this grown women is entitled to be in the men’s locker room? This man has a right to his privacy just as women do in their locker room. Take your kid home to change and shower if there isn’t a family locker room or individual bathroom

It’s not an ideal situation for all involved, and if he wants to complain he obviously has the right to, but it’s not the same as a Dad trying to sneak into a full women’s locker room.

You’ve got a room full of girls who (rightfully) don’t want to be naked and/or rinse off in the presence of a male classmate, their moms who I’m betting have told the boy mom off, a men’s locker room that is nearly if not entirely empty, and a mom just trying to get her kid dry and out of there. Guaranteed she’s more uncomfortable if there’s a naked guy in there then he even is and the last thing she’s focusing on is checking out his package.

If he’s that distressed by it then he certainly can say something, but being briefly undressed in the presence of a harried mom who isn’t there for him in the first place isn’t the biggest obstacle he’ll encounter in life.

It’s absolutely the same thing and she was wrong. Random men are in there changing and showering. Some with their own son or young daughters. Maybe the 10 yr old boy in there doesn’t want his friend’s mom seeing him naked. Whether or not the mother is bothered by seeing boys and men naked is irrelevant. She doesn’t get to go into the men’s locker room because she’s seen a lot of ding dongs in her life and doesn’t care.