When can you call yourself a single mother?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Im a single mom, have 2 kids and 1 ManChild.

OP, by the power vested in me, I permit you to say this. Happy?

[Anonymous]

Recently Rumer Willis posted on social media about separating from her husband saying she was doing the single mom thing but also saying that she is co-parenting. So, which is it?

"Single mom" implies that you are parenting alone without help from the dad, which is not the same as co-parenting and having nearly even custody.

[Anonymous]

Divorced does not equal single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Divorced does not equal single.

Yes, it does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This kind of irritation is usually very informative -- your brain is telling you that you are envious. You need to talk to your husband and get some more free time for yourself.

This is the right answer.

Your brain is telling you that your life would be easier without your partner.

I can tell you that this is true. I'm going through an unwanted separation/divorce, but I'm realizing my STBX actually did me a favor. My stress has decreased so much. His has not, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who often talks about how hard it is to be a single mom, her Instagram and Facebook posts talk about the work involved in raising a child on her own.
However, she has her child no more than three or four days a week, she has 50-50 custody with her ex who is very involved in the child’s life and often has him four or five days a week due to sports logistics etc.
She is single, she is a mom, but she has more free time in a week then I get in two months.

Just a rant.

This would bother me too. My dad died right before I was born so I was raised only by my mom who also then got cancer. It was rough and hard for her and she never had a break. We had family but they barely helped and it would irritate me to have a friend say this on social media or to my face.

Have you talked to her about it? And say you understand but as someone who was actually raised by a single mother it is upsetting to you since the children have an equal parent and she only takes care of her kids a 50% if the time?

Or just unfriend or block her and cut her out of your life.

I had a friend who got divorced and she is like this too. Cried about being a single mother but gets the kids 50% if the time only and gets to share her husband’s nanny so she isn’t even watching her kids 50% of the time. She was complaining to me one of the many times so I told her “remember I grew up with an actual single mother. She had no help couldn’t drop me off for a few days and didn’t have a nanny or anyone to help. On top of that she got cancer and I don’t ever remember her complaining. I understand you’re dealing with a lot but when you come to me and talk about being a single mother it brings up the fact I was raise by an actual single mother. I feel for you but think you should talk to a therapist or another friend about it and not vent to me.” She didn’t get it so I don’t talk to her anymore. It also wasn’t an occasional thing, every time I saw her or got a text it was complaining about being a single mother which she is not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When the father has minimal custody (like over the summer or a few times per year or less) and doesn't really help financially. Otherwise you are a coparent. Hell, "single parenting" 50% of the time sounds like a freakin' vacation compared to my life. I fantasize about it often.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This kind of irritation is usually very informative -- your brain is telling you that you are envious. You need to talk to your husband and get some more free time for yourself.

This is the right answer.

Your brain is telling you that your life would be easier without your partner.

I can tell you that this is true. I'm going through an unwanted separation/divorce, but I'm realizing my STBX actually did me a favor. My stress has decreased so much. His has not, lol.

It isn’t about being envious. As someone who was actually raised by a single parent it’s offensive. This person wants pity, they want pity for something they caused and for something that isn’t true.

She isn’t a single mom. They have another parent who sounds like is an active part of their lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Divorced does not equal single.

It literally does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This kind of irritation is usually very informative -- your brain is telling you that you are envious. You need to talk to your husband and get some more free time for yourself.

This is the right answer.

Your brain is telling you that your life would be easier without your partner.

I can tell you that this is true. I'm going through an unwanted separation/divorce, but I'm realizing my STBX actually did me a favor. My stress has decreased so much. His has not, lol.

NP. I'm married but I'm confident my life would be easier for ME if I got divorced. But it wouldn't be easier FOR MY KIDS, which is why I keep the manchild of a husband around.

[Anonymous]

So am I a single mother because my spouse travels 50% of the time for a large chunk of the year? No.

If people ask I say my spouse is traveling for work. This person can easily say “it’s my week for custody.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So am I a single mother because my spouse travels 50% of the time for a large chunk of the year? No.

If people ask I say my spouse is traveling for work. This person can easily say “it’s my week for custody.”

You are not single because you are married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who often talks about how hard it is to be a single mom, her Instagram and Facebook posts talk about the work involved in raising a child on her own.
However, she has her child no more than three or four days a week, she has 50-50 custody with her ex who is very involved in the child’s life and often has him four or five days a week due to sports logistics etc.
She is single, she is a mom, but she has more free time in a week then I get in two months.

Just a rant.

People who complain constantly are annoying. She's annoying because she's complaining constantly. You have every right to be annoyed by the complaining.

That doesn't change the fact that she's single and a mom, hence a single mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who often talks about how hard it is to be a single mom, her Instagram and Facebook posts talk about the work involved in raising a child on her own.
However, she has her child no more than three or four days a week, she has 50-50 custody with her ex who is very involved in the child’s life and often has him four or five days a week due to sports logistics etc.
She is single, she is a mom, but she has more free time in a week then I get in two months.

Just a rant.

I think what bugs you is not the use of the label "single mom," since we've seen in the responses here that that can mean wildly different circumstances. The irritating part is that she whines about how hard her life is when she has a pretty decent set up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This kind of irritation is usually very informative -- your brain is telling you that you are envious. You need to talk to your husband and get some more free time for yourself.

This is the right answer.

Your brain is telling you that your life would be easier without your partner.

I can tell you that this is true. I'm going through an unwanted separation/divorce, but I'm realizing my STBX actually did me a favor. My stress has decreased so much. His has not, lol.

100%. I use the term single mom and don’t care what others use or why.

OP, get divorced! Enjoy your free time.