"Health panel urges interventions for children and teens with high BMI"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The way to disrupt the constant hunger is to work. Teens should be busy working or volunteering so that they aren't always eating. Mine works a FT summer job and does power washing on the weekends. He eats regular meals and has no time for snacking.

Mine could not be busier-- after school activities, two sports (one travel). Doesn't get home from school/camp until after 3 or 4, leaves for sports most night at 6. Still finds time to snack and overeat. (See all threads above about how they get fed at so many of these activities).

All these parents with kids who don't have eating issues are so certain it wouldn't happen to their kids. You are not better parents or better at helping your kids be healthy: you are lucky your kid has good genes.

If you know he’s overeating outside the home, feed him less at home. Have absolutely zero junk available at home. You can only control what you can control, but it sounds like you want to just throw up your hands and blame it all on bad luck or bad genes.

You're so smart-- you have all the answers-- no junk food and feed a kid less, why didn't I think about that?

Such smug parenting. I seriously -- truly-- hope you never have a child struggle with their weight. Though, I kind of wish more of you did because then you'd understand how hard it is.

Just do the math. Lower the calories and they will lose weight. You don't even need to do extra activity although it's always good to move more.

It's pretty easy to control a child's food choices up until they earn their own money (or someone gifts them a lot of it). The parents who give their kids huge allowances then complain that they buy junk food and high calorie Starbucks drinks. Stop giving them $25/week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BMI is ridiculous tho. For most people, I guess, it's reasonable, but there are plenty of people who are outliers.

I'm 5'10 and my senior year of HS when I was a three-sport athlete who could run a 7min mile, I weight 210. I have very broad shoulders and chest... I was in AMAZING shape, but I had an obese BMI. As a 40-something, I've gained some weight, but I wouldn't want to weigh less than 220 and I would be GAUNT if I weighed anything close the maximum BMI for my height's "normal weight".

That’s quite the muscle mass if you were female, 5’10” and 210#.
My brother is that height, sued to do Ironmans and marathons. Then with four kids, very senior level work demands and more eating out and drinking is indeed obese at 210#.

I think the poster you’re responding to also has no clue what “gaunt” means. But of course, EVERYONE is that superhero-level muscular exception to BMI. America’s reputation of being fat is undeserved, obviously.

gaunt means lean or haggard and looking as if you're suffering from hunger. As the poster who said I would look gaunt I stand by that. At 200 I would slender, 190 I would look thin, 180 I would look very thin and 175, which is the max BMI for "normal weight" at 5'10 I would look gaunt.

Funny, my husband says exactly the same thing but he has non-alcoholic fatty steatohepatitis (fatty liver)

"I was that thin one time and I looked so sick" blabla

I google imaged 5'10'' 210lb; if you don't have a rippling six pack and body builder muscles, you are just fat. Sorry.

Lol, okay. I always weigh about 30-40 pounds more than people would guess. In HS i looked like I weighed about 180, but I didn't. Big solid shoulders.

I'm not hugely concerned about what your estimate is—unlike your husband, I'm extremely healthy. Low cholesterol, no sign of diabetes, high blood pressure, liver is great and I ride a bike 10-20 miles 2-3x a week. Heart is healthy as hell. My doctor thinks I should lose weight to relieve heartburn, knee pain and apnea, but agrees that 220lb or so would be an ideal weight. *shrug*

weird that it bothers you—my only point is that BMI is a formula that imagines everyone has the same frame, and very few people fit perfectly, most people fit roughly and there are outliers on either end. Which means it's not a bad idea, but it's not the be-all, end-all of what makes someone fat or not.

Ok, dude. This isn’t about you, move on. Obviously a man’s BMI is going to be higher than a woman’s at the same height.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The way to disrupt the constant hunger is to work. Teens should be busy working or volunteering so that they aren't always eating. Mine works a FT summer job and does power washing on the weekends. He eats regular meals and has no time for snacking.

Mine could not be busier-- after school activities, two sports (one travel). Doesn't get home from school/camp until after 3 or 4, leaves for sports most night at 6. Still finds time to snack and overeat. (See all threads above about how they get fed at so many of these activities).

All these parents with kids who don't have eating issues are so certain it wouldn't happen to their kids. You are not better parents or better at helping your kids be healthy: you are lucky your kid has good genes.

If you know he’s overeating outside the home, feed him less at home. Have absolutely zero junk available at home. You can only control what you can control, but it sounds like you want to just throw up your hands and blame it all on bad luck or bad genes.

You're so smart-- you have all the answers-- no junk food and feed a kid less, why didn't I think about that?

Such smug parenting. I seriously -- truly-- hope you never have a child struggle with their weight. Though, I kind of wish more of you did because then you'd understand how hard it is.

Just do the math. Lower the calories and they will lose weight. You don't even need to do extra activity although it's always good to move more.

It's pretty easy to control a child's food choices up until they earn their own money (or someone gifts them a lot of it). The parents who give their kids huge allowances then complain that they buy junk food and high calorie Starbucks drinks. Stop giving them $25/week.

Ok, no it’s not. Kids that have a tendency to overeat, will overeat just about anything. You can’t have a carb free household. They can make their own food if they want to. Many teens have part time jobs and get money from relatives for birthday. They can offered plenty of Starbucks without your help. Again, a parent cannot control the food intake of a teen. They have to want to eat less overall and say to to the junk. If they don’t want to or can’t, you cannot make them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I promise you that if you do a deep dive into what she’s actually eating and accurately look at the calories in vs calories out, it’d be very apparent why she’s overweight.

It doesn’t have to be junk, a lot of it is portion size or mindlessly eating “healthy” snacks.

Please stop with this old fashioned simplicity. Not all people who are overweight are so due to input. It's what the body does and does not do with the input. Not every human body can/does process food the same way.

Please stop with this new school magical thinking. Yes, we know more about how the body metabolizes compound A vs. B and how different bodies can metabolize the same thing differently. Most people eat too much. Portions are huge and many of us engage in mindless snacking of “healthy” foods. This is why we’re overweight. Me, you and everyone in between.

If they put you on a deserted island for 6 months and you could only eat coconuts and fish, you would lose a crap ton of weight.

+1

Much easier to lose weight by eating less than working out more.

Takes 5 mins to devour an ice cream sundae, aka 800 calories.

Takes 2+ hours of fast running to burn that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I promise you that if you do a deep dive into what she’s actually eating and accurately look at the calories in vs calories out, it’d be very apparent why she’s overweight.

It doesn’t have to be junk, a lot of it is portion size or mindlessly eating “healthy” snacks.

Please stop with this old fashioned simplicity. Not all people who are overweight are so due to input. It's what the body does and does not do with the input. Not every human body can/does process food the same way.

Please stop with this new school magical thinking. Yes, we know more about how the body metabolizes compound A vs. B and how different bodies can metabolize the same thing differently. Most people eat too much. Portions are huge and many of us engage in mindless snacking of “healthy” foods. This is why we’re overweight. Me, you and everyone in between.

If they put you on a deserted island for 6 months and you could only eat coconuts and fish, you would lose a crap ton of weight.

What makes you think this? Most people would remain fat eating coconuts and fish because the problem is that they can’t tell when they are full. The only way they’d lose weight is if they ran out of fish and coconuts.

Lol.

You don’t get fat on coconuts and fish.

You get fat on processed foods, sugary drinks, saucy sauces, fried foods, krap loads of carbs all day long, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I promise you that if you do a deep dive into what she’s actually eating and accurately look at the calories in vs calories out, it’d be very apparent why she’s overweight.

It doesn’t have to be junk, a lot of it is portion size or mindlessly eating “healthy” snacks.

Please stop with this old fashioned simplicity. Not all people who are overweight are so due to input. It's what the body does and does not do with the input. Not every human body can/does process food the same way.

+1

I have 3 teens and it is incredibly obvious that weight is about far more than “calories in, calories out” etc. What my 3 kids eat appears to have no bearing whatsoever on their weight. Literally none. 2 of them are super skinny (at very bottom of healthy range) and can’t gain no matter how many calories they eat (even supervised by a nutritionist with enormous calorie surplus). 3rd kid eats WAY less than siblings and has a very average build. Seems likely this would apply in the opposite direction with weight as well.

I’m not defending lots of junk food for any kid regardless of weight, and obesity should be addressed- absolutely. But no way is it just about “calories in calories out”

+1. These weight arguments are so stupid. If your child told you he couldn’t see the board when he sits in class, would you just tell him he needs to discipline his eyes to look harder? Or would you get him glasses?

Obesity is the same way. The mechanism that tells you to stop eating is missing. Telling a kid to stop eating when he’s full doesn’t work if he doesn’t know when he is full. You need to put on some kind of glasses/medication that gives that signal.

Ozempic found the thread:
You all have mechanisms that don’t tell you to stop eating. Hence you are obese.

We have a drug for that. It makes you nauseous and never hungry. Sometimes you don’t eat for a whole day or two. Nutrition be damned. You’ll be on it forever and get flappy skin and ozempic face.

You won’t be healthy unless you eat nutritious foods and get some cardiovascular health back.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The way to disrupt the constant hunger is to work. Teens should be busy working or volunteering so that they aren't always eating. Mine works a FT summer job and does power washing on the weekends. He eats regular meals and has no time for snacking.

Mine could not be busier-- after school activities, two sports (one travel). Doesn't get home from school/camp until after 3 or 4, leaves for sports most night at 6. Still finds time to snack and overeat. (See all threads above about how they get fed at so many of these activities).

All these parents with kids who don't have eating issues are so certain it wouldn't happen to their kids. You are not better parents or better at helping your kids be healthy: you are lucky your kid has good genes.

If you know he’s overeating outside the home, feed him less at home. Have absolutely zero junk available at home. You can only control what you can control, but it sounds like you want to just throw up your hands and blame it all on bad luck or bad genes.

You're so smart-- you have all the answers-- no junk food and feed a kid less, why didn't I think about that?

Such smug parenting. I seriously -- truly-- hope you never have a child struggle with their weight. Though, I kind of wish more of you did because then you'd understand how hard it is.

Just do the math. Lower the calories and they will lose weight. You don't even need to do extra activity although it's always good to move more.

It's pretty easy to control a child's food choices up until they earn their own money (or someone gifts them a lot of it). The parents who give their kids huge allowances then complain that they buy junk food and high calorie Starbucks drinks. Stop giving them $25/week.

Ok, no it’s not. Kids that have a tendency to overeat, will overeat just about anything. You can’t have a carb free household. They can make their own food if they want to. Many teens have part time jobs and get money from relatives for birthday. They can offered plenty of Starbucks without your help. Again, a parent cannot control the food intake of a teen. They have to want to eat less overall and say to to the junk. If they don’t want to or can’t, you cannot make them

Go ahead. Let your 7 yr old overeat the cantaloupe. I promise it won't make her gain weight. Teens aren't getting jobs until 15 at the earliest. If you have provided 15 years of healthy foods in your home, the chance that they will become overweight after that is pretty low.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I promise you that if you do a deep dive into what she’s actually eating and accurately look at the calories in vs calories out, it’d be very apparent why she’s overweight.

It doesn’t have to be junk, a lot of it is portion size or mindlessly eating “healthy” snacks.

Please stop with this old fashioned simplicity. Not all people who are overweight are so due to input. It's what the body does and does not do with the input. Not every human body can/does process food the same way.

Please stop with this new school magical thinking. Yes, we know more about how the body metabolizes compound A vs. B and how different bodies can metabolize the same thing differently. Most people eat too much. Portions are huge and many of us engage in mindless snacking of “healthy” foods. This is why we’re overweight. Me, you and everyone in between.

If they put you on a deserted island for 6 months and you could only eat coconuts and fish, you would lose a crap ton of weight.

What makes you think this? Most people would remain fat eating coconuts and fish because the problem is that they can’t tell when they are full. The only way they’d lose weight is if they ran out of fish and coconuts.

Do you know how much work it is to crack open a coconut? Have you ever been fishing? You can only be fat off coconuts and fish if you had virtually unlimited access

And fried them up in salt and lard, then put cheese on top.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BMI is ridiculous tho. For most people, I guess, it's reasonable, but there are plenty of people who are outliers.

I'm 5'10 and my senior year of HS when I was a three-sport athlete who could run a 7min mile, I weight 210. I have very broad shoulders and chest... I was in AMAZING shape, but I had an obese BMI. As a 40-something, I've gained some weight, but I wouldn't want to weigh less than 220 and I would be GAUNT if I weighed anything close the maximum BMI for my height's "normal weight".

That’s quite the muscle mass if you were female, 5’10” and 210#.
My brother is that height, sued to do Ironmans and marathons. Then with four kids, very senior level work demands and more eating out and drinking is indeed obese at 210#.

I think the poster you’re responding to also has no clue what “gaunt” means. But of course, EVERYONE is that superhero-level muscular exception to BMI. America’s reputation of being fat is undeserved, obviously.

gaunt means lean or haggard and looking as if you're suffering from hunger. As the poster who said I would look gaunt I stand by that. At 200 I would slender, 190 I would look thin, 180 I would look very thin and 175, which is the max BMI for "normal weight" at 5'10 I would look gaunt.

Funny, my husband says exactly the same thing but he has non-alcoholic fatty steatohepatitis (fatty liver)

"I was that thin one time and I looked so sick" blabla

I google imaged 5'10'' 210lb; if you don't have a rippling six pack and body builder muscles, you are just fat. Sorry.

We all know.

He’s trying to saw he’s a large boned 5’10” person that needs to weight 210+z

That’s mean in heels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They overweight teens I know have at least overweight parent, usually their mother. They consume way too many calories like their mom.

We went on vacation with two of these families and they were insistent on bringing tons of good. I didn’t because I knew we’d be going to the grocery store soon upon arrival. They were almost constantly eating for the entire week. We’d eat breakfast and go to the beach where they’d pack a day’s worth of food that they ate with 2 hrs of breakfast. Then lunch was an hour or two later and then they’d repack the cooler for the afternoon. There wasn’t a 2 hr period where they weren’t eating. It was incredible but shouldn’t have been surprising because they were all overweight and so were the kids.

This.

After age 6 stop the stupid snacking unless you’re a 2 hour a day athlete.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The way to disrupt the constant hunger is to work. Teens should be busy working or volunteering so that they aren't always eating. Mine works a FT summer job and does power washing on the weekends. He eats regular meals and has no time for snacking.

Mine could not be busier-- after school activities, two sports (one travel). Doesn't get home from school/camp until after 3 or 4, leaves for sports most night at 6. Still finds time to snack and overeat. (See all threads above about how they get fed at so many of these activities).

All these parents with kids who don't have eating issues are so certain it wouldn't happen to their kids. You are not better parents or better at helping your kids be healthy: you are lucky your kid has good genes.

If you know he’s overeating outside the home, feed him less at home. Have absolutely zero junk available at home. You can only control what you can control, but it sounds like you want to just throw up your hands and blame it all on bad luck or bad genes.

You're so smart-- you have all the answers-- no junk food and feed a kid less, why didn't I think about that?

Such smug parenting. I seriously -- truly-- hope you never have a child struggle with their weight. Though, I kind of wish more of you did because then you'd understand how hard it is.

Just do the math. Lower the calories and they will lose weight. You don't even need to do extra activity although it's always good to move more.

It's pretty easy to control a child's food choices up until they earn their own money (or someone gifts them a lot of it). The parents who give their kids huge allowances then complain that they buy junk food and high calorie Starbucks drinks. Stop giving them $25/week.

Ok, no it’s not. Kids that have a tendency to overeat, will overeat just about anything. You can’t have a carb free household. They can make their own food if they want to. Many teens have part time jobs and get money from relatives for birthday. They can offered plenty of Starbucks without your help. Again, a parent cannot control the food intake of a teen. They have to want to eat less overall and say to to the junk. If they don’t want to or can’t, you cannot make them

This entire response is nothing but excuses. Don’t abdicate your responsibility as a parent and pretend you have absolutely no control over how fat your kids get.

I have a teen and he wants to eat all the time. So I feed him all the time, primarily healthy home cooked meals and snacks like cheese and fruit. Fill your kid up on good stuff (as a PP said, let them overeat cantaloupe) and they won’t have room for the bad stuff. It is, however, a lot of work to keep him well fed. But it’s also kind of my job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why doesn't the nutritionist want your child to log calories?

How is this even a question? It sets teen girls up for disordered eating patterns. To the OP- your daughter may be overweight, but your approach is setting her up for a lifetime of disordered eating to boot. Did she ask for your advice? Does she want your help with her weight? If not, then you’re doing much more harm to her than good.

My advice to the OP:

-model healthy eating and attitudes toward food and weight
-verbal affirmation from you regularly - whatever non-weight related things you can praise
-be a listening ear and provide advice if asked but do not be critical of her weight or body
-be attuned to what’s going on socially. Does she have good peer influences? Any chance she is or has been bullied? You need to ask her good, thoughtful questions.

One could make the argument that eating oneself into overweight status is already an eating disorder.

Exactly this! She already has disordered eating. If your kid had some other kind of health disorder, you would jump in to help. But, with food, everyone is supposed to passively sit back and watch their kids balloon up for fear that their kid will become “disordered.” But they already are!

She’s not going to thank you for telling her she was a cute chubby teen when she’s a chronically overweight diabetic 45 year old.

NP. I was overweight as a tween/young teen. Not obese, but about 30-35 pounds more than the ideal weight I eventually settled into as an adult. My parents’ “concern” led me to calorie count and restrict obsessively. Lost weight and my parents were so proud, yay! But the calorie restriction led to a massive over correction in which I started binge eating every day after school, which led to incredible feelings of shame (I let my parents down!), and then about a decade of hardcore secretive bulimia.

Which is all to say that weight loss is an incredibly delicate matter for a teenage girl. There’s so much wrapped up in it, I urge parents to tread very lightly and be very careful not to shame your girls for enjoying food. (I still struggle with this as a parent.) Build them up in other ways, keep them busy, get them moving, but the focus should not be on the food and the calories.

Do you think you would have been any less screwed up if your parents had handed you pills as a teen and told you it was because you have no self control?

Because the LuLus on this thread think that’s A-ok, but that feeding your kid steamed vegetables and fish and telling them to put down the second slice of cake is child abuse.

NP. I don’t think it is child abuse, but I also don’t think you can control this in a teen. So you feed them fish and vegetables for dinner. What’s stopping them from making themselves some rice, or eating a couple bowls of cereal after? Or a peanut butter sandwich? Are
You going to guard the kitchen? Lock the cabinets and frig? And then what about at school, sports, and friends houses or just going out with friends? These things are largely centered around providing junk food options. If a teen was so included, they could easily eat hundreds of calories worth of junk most days, without you buying it, approving, or even knowing.

Here’s the thing though—as a PP said, the overweight kids almost all have at least one overweight parent and the bad habits start there. So this fiction that mom is serving fish and steamed veggies and tofu snacks and junior is fat because his friends stuff him with junk food doesn’t exist. It’s just all excuses.

Why, it's almost as if there's a genetic component!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why doesn't the nutritionist want your child to log calories?

How is this even a question? It sets teen girls up for disordered eating patterns. To the OP- your daughter may be overweight, but your approach is setting her up for a lifetime of disordered eating to boot. Did she ask for your advice? Does she want your help with her weight? If not, then you’re doing much more harm to her than good.

My advice to the OP:

-model healthy eating and attitudes toward food and weight
-verbal affirmation from you regularly - whatever non-weight related things you can praise
-be a listening ear and provide advice if asked but do not be critical of her weight or body
-be attuned to what’s going on socially. Does she have good peer influences? Any chance she is or has been bullied? You need to ask her good, thoughtful questions.

One could make the argument that eating oneself into overweight status is already an eating disorder.

Exactly this! She already has disordered eating. If your kid had some other kind of health disorder, you would jump in to help. But, with food, everyone is supposed to passively sit back and watch their kids balloon up for fear that their kid will become “disordered.” But they already are!

She’s not going to thank you for telling her she was a cute chubby teen when she’s a chronically overweight diabetic 45 year old.

NP. I was overweight as a tween/young teen. Not obese, but about 30-35 pounds more than the ideal weight I eventually settled into as an adult. My parents’ “concern” led me to calorie count and restrict obsessively. Lost weight and my parents were so proud, yay! But the calorie restriction led to a massive over correction in which I started binge eating every day after school, which led to incredible feelings of shame (I let my parents down!), and then about a decade of hardcore secretive bulimia.

Which is all to say that weight loss is an incredibly delicate matter for a teenage girl. There’s so much wrapped up in it, I urge parents to tread very lightly and be very careful not to shame your girls for enjoying food. (I still struggle with this as a parent.) Build them up in other ways, keep them busy, get them moving, but the focus should not be on the food and the calories.

Do you think you would have been any less screwed up if your parents had handed you pills as a teen and told you it was because you have no self control?

Because the LuLus on this thread think that’s A-ok, but that feeding your kid steamed vegetables and fish and telling them to put down the second slice of cake is child abuse.

NP. I don’t think it is child abuse, but I also don’t think you can control this in a teen. So you feed them fish and vegetables for dinner. What’s stopping them from making themselves some rice, or eating a couple bowls of cereal after? Or a peanut butter sandwich? Are
You going to guard the kitchen? Lock the cabinets and frig? And then what about at school, sports, and friends houses or just going out with friends? These things are largely centered around providing junk food options. If a teen was so included, they could easily eat hundreds of calories worth of junk most days, without you buying it, approving, or even knowing.

Here’s the thing though—as a PP said, the overweight kids almost all have at least one overweight parent and the bad habits start there. So this fiction that mom is serving fish and steamed veggies and tofu snacks and junior is fat because his friends stuff him with junk food doesn’t exist. It’s just all excuses.

Why, it's almost as if there's a genetic component!

It’s almost as if there is a behavioral component! If mom changed her eating, so would the kids because they wouldn’t have a choice. Mommy’s choices directly impact her kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why doesn't the nutritionist want your child to log calories?

How is this even a question? It sets teen girls up for disordered eating patterns. To the OP- your daughter may be overweight, but your approach is setting her up for a lifetime of disordered eating to boot. Did she ask for your advice? Does she want your help with her weight? If not, then you’re doing much more harm to her than good.

My advice to the OP:

-model healthy eating and attitudes toward food and weight
-verbal affirmation from you regularly - whatever non-weight related things you can praise
-be a listening ear and provide advice if asked but do not be critical of her weight or body
-be attuned to what’s going on socially. Does she have good peer influences? Any chance she is or has been bullied? You need to ask her good, thoughtful questions.

One could make the argument that eating oneself into overweight status is already an eating disorder.

Exactly this! She already has disordered eating. If your kid had some other kind of health disorder, you would jump in to help. But, with food, everyone is supposed to passively sit back and watch their kids balloon up for fear that their kid will become “disordered.” But they already are!

She’s not going to thank you for telling her she was a cute chubby teen when she’s a chronically overweight diabetic 45 year old.

NP. I was overweight as a tween/young teen. Not obese, but about 30-35 pounds more than the ideal weight I eventually settled into as an adult. My parents’ “concern” led me to calorie count and restrict obsessively. Lost weight and my parents were so proud, yay! But the calorie restriction led to a massive over correction in which I started binge eating every day after school, which led to incredible feelings of shame (I let my parents down!), and then about a decade of hardcore secretive bulimia.

Which is all to say that weight loss is an incredibly delicate matter for a teenage girl. There’s so much wrapped up in it, I urge parents to tread very lightly and be very careful not to shame your girls for enjoying food. (I still struggle with this as a parent.) Build them up in other ways, keep them busy, get them moving, but the focus should not be on the food and the calories.

Do you think you would have been any less screwed up if your parents had handed you pills as a teen and told you it was because you have no self control?

Because the LuLus on this thread think that’s A-ok, but that feeding your kid steamed vegetables and fish and telling them to put down the second slice of cake is child abuse.

NP. I don’t think it is child abuse, but I also don’t think you can control this in a teen. So you feed them fish and vegetables for dinner. What’s stopping them from making themselves some rice, or eating a couple bowls of cereal after? Or a peanut butter sandwich? Are
You going to guard the kitchen? Lock the cabinets and frig? And then what about at school, sports, and friends houses or just going out with friends? These things are largely centered around providing junk food options. If a teen was so included, they could easily eat hundreds of calories worth of junk most days, without you buying it, approving, or even knowing.

Here’s the thing though—as a PP said, the overweight kids almost all have at least one overweight parent and the bad habits start there. So this fiction that mom is serving fish and steamed veggies and tofu snacks and junior is fat because his friends stuff him with junk food doesn’t exist. It’s just all excuses.

Why, it's almost as if there's a genetic component!

It’s almost as if there is a behavioral component! If mom changed her eating, so would the kids because they wouldn’t have a choice. Mommy’s choices directly impact her kids.

And we all know it's always the woman's fault!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The way to disrupt the constant hunger is to work. Teens should be busy working or volunteering so that they aren't always eating. Mine works a FT summer job and does power washing on the weekends. He eats regular meals and has no time for snacking.

Mine could not be busier-- after school activities, two sports (one travel). Doesn't get home from school/camp until after 3 or 4, leaves for sports most night at 6. Still finds time to snack and overeat. (See all threads above about how they get fed at so many of these activities).

All these parents with kids who don't have eating issues are so certain it wouldn't happen to their kids. You are not better parents or better at helping your kids be healthy: you are lucky your kid has good genes.

If you know he’s overeating outside the home, feed him less at home. Have absolutely zero junk available at home. You can only control what you can control, but it sounds like you want to just throw up your hands and blame it all on bad luck or bad genes.

You're so smart-- you have all the answers-- no junk food and feed a kid less, why didn't I think about that?

Such smug parenting. I seriously -- truly-- hope you never have a child struggle with their weight. Though, I kind of wish more of you did because then you'd understand how hard it is.

Just do the math. Lower the calories and they will lose weight. You don't even need to do extra activity although it's always good to move more.

It's pretty easy to control a child's food choices up until they earn their own money (or someone gifts them a lot of it). The parents who give their kids huge allowances then complain that they buy junk food and high calorie Starbucks drinks. Stop giving them $25/week.

Ok, no it’s not. Kids that have a tendency to overeat, will overeat just about anything. You can’t have a carb free household. They can make their own food if they want to. Many teens have part time jobs and get money from relatives for birthday. They can offered plenty of Starbucks without your help. Again, a parent cannot control the food intake of a teen. They have to want to eat less overall and say to to the junk. If they don’t want to or can’t, you cannot make them

Go ahead. Let your 7 yr old overeat the cantaloupe. I promise it won't make her gain weight. Teens aren't getting jobs until 15 at the earliest. If you have provided 15 years of healthy foods in your home, the chance that they will become overweight after that is pretty low.

Actually it is sky high. Over 70% of adults are overweight. By the time your teen is adult, chances are they will be too