"Health panel urges interventions for children and teens with high BMI"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why doesn't the nutritionist want your child to log calories?

How is this even a question? It sets teen girls up for disordered eating patterns. To the OP- your daughter may be overweight, but your approach is setting her up for a lifetime of disordered eating to boot. Did she ask for your advice? Does she want your help with her weight? If not, then you’re doing much more harm to her than good.

My advice to the OP:

-model healthy eating and attitudes toward food and weight
-verbal affirmation from you regularly - whatever non-weight related things you can praise
-be a listening ear and provide advice if asked but do not be critical of her weight or body
-be attuned to what’s going on socially. Does she have good peer influences? Any chance she is or has been bullied? You need to ask her good, thoughtful questions.

One could make the argument that eating oneself into overweight status is already an eating disorder.

Exactly this! She already has disordered eating. If your kid had some other kind of health disorder, you would jump in to help. But, with food, everyone is supposed to passively sit back and watch their kids balloon up for fear that their kid will become “disordered.” But they already are!

She’s not going to thank you for telling her she was a cute chubby teen when she’s a chronically overweight diabetic 45 year old.

NP. I was overweight as a tween/young teen. Not obese, but about 30-35 pounds more than the ideal weight I eventually settled into as an adult. My parents’ “concern” led me to calorie count and restrict obsessively. Lost weight and my parents were so proud, yay! But the calorie restriction led to a massive over correction in which I started binge eating every day after school, which led to incredible feelings of shame (I let my parents down!), and then about a decade of hardcore secretive bulimia.

Which is all to say that weight loss is an incredibly delicate matter for a teenage girl. There’s so much wrapped up in it, I urge parents to tread very lightly and be very careful not to shame your girls for enjoying food. (I still struggle with this as a parent.) Build them up in other ways, keep them busy, get them moving, but the focus should not be on the food and the calories.

Do you think you would have been any less screwed up if your parents had handed you pills as a teen and told you it was because you have no self control?

Because the LuLus on this thread think that’s A-ok, but that feeding your kid steamed vegetables and fish and telling them to put down the second slice of cake is child abuse.

NP. I don’t think it is child abuse, but I also don’t think you can control this in a teen. So you feed them fish and vegetables for dinner. What’s stopping them from making themselves some rice, or eating a couple bowls of cereal after? Or a peanut butter sandwich? Are
You going to guard the kitchen? Lock the cabinets and frig? And then what about at school, sports, and friends houses or just going out with friends? These things are largely centered around providing junk food options. If a teen was so included, they could easily eat hundreds of calories worth of junk most days, without you buying it, approving, or even knowing.

PP who was the teenage bulimic here, and this is one reason why it’s so difficult. Teenage bodies—even overweight ones—have different nutritional needs than adult ones. So mom or dad might be able to tightly control what’s served at mealtimes—probably basing portion sizes on their own level of adult hunger—but their kids are still hungry. They will find a way to make up the difference and if they’ve been made to feel ashamed for that hunger at home, they’ll find food elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BMI is ridiculous tho. For most people, I guess, it's reasonable, but there are plenty of people who are outliers.

I'm 5'10 and my senior year of HS when I was a three-sport athlete who could run a 7min mile, I weight 210. I have very broad shoulders and chest... I was in AMAZING shape, but I had an obese BMI. As a 40-something, I've gained some weight, but I wouldn't want to weigh less than 220 and I would be GAUNT if I weighed anything close the maximum BMI for my height's "normal weight".

That’s quite the muscle mass if you were female, 5’10” and 210#.
My brother is that height, sued to do Ironmans and marathons. Then with four kids, very senior level work demands and more eating out and drinking is indeed obese at 210#.

I think the poster you’re responding to also has no clue what “gaunt” means. But of course, EVERYONE is that superhero-level muscular exception to BMI. America’s reputation of being fat is undeserved, obviously.

gaunt means lean or haggard and looking as if you're suffering from hunger. As the poster who said I would look gaunt I stand by that. At 200 I would slender, 190 I would look thin, 180 I would look very thin and 175, which is the max BMI for "normal weight" at 5'10 I would look gaunt.

Funny, my husband says exactly the same thing but he has non-alcoholic fatty steatohepatitis (fatty liver)

"I was that thin one time and I looked so sick" blabla

I google imaged 5'10'' 210lb; if you don't have a rippling six pack and body builder muscles, you are just fat. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why doesn't the nutritionist want your child to log calories?

How is this even a question? It sets teen girls up for disordered eating patterns. To the OP- your daughter may be overweight, but your approach is setting her up for a lifetime of disordered eating to boot. Did she ask for your advice? Does she want your help with her weight? If not, then you’re doing much more harm to her than good.

My advice to the OP:

-model healthy eating and attitudes toward food and weight
-verbal affirmation from you regularly - whatever non-weight related things you can praise
-be a listening ear and provide advice if asked but do not be critical of her weight or body
-be attuned to what’s going on socially. Does she have good peer influences? Any chance she is or has been bullied? You need to ask her good, thoughtful questions.

One could make the argument that eating oneself into overweight status is already an eating disorder.

Exactly this! She already has disordered eating. If your kid had some other kind of health disorder, you would jump in to help. But, with food, everyone is supposed to passively sit back and watch their kids balloon up for fear that their kid will become “disordered.” But they already are!

She’s not going to thank you for telling her she was a cute chubby teen when she’s a chronically overweight diabetic 45 year old.

NP. I was overweight as a tween/young teen. Not obese, but about 30-35 pounds more than the ideal weight I eventually settled into as an adult. My parents’ “concern” led me to calorie count and restrict obsessively. Lost weight and my parents were so proud, yay! But the calorie restriction led to a massive over correction in which I started binge eating every day after school, which led to incredible feelings of shame (I let my parents down!), and then about a decade of hardcore secretive bulimia.

Which is all to say that weight loss is an incredibly delicate matter for a teenage girl. There’s so much wrapped up in it, I urge parents to tread very lightly and be very careful not to shame your girls for enjoying food. (I still struggle with this as a parent.) Build them up in other ways, keep them busy, get them moving, but the focus should not be on the food and the calories.

Do you think you would have been any less screwed up if your parents had handed you pills as a teen and told you it was because you have no self control?

Because the LuLus on this thread think that’s A-ok, but that feeding your kid steamed vegetables and fish and telling them to put down the second slice of cake is child abuse.

NP. I don’t think it is child abuse, but I also don’t think you can control this in a teen. So you feed them fish and vegetables for dinner. What’s stopping them from making themselves some rice, or eating a couple bowls of cereal after? Or a peanut butter sandwich? Are
You going to guard the kitchen? Lock the cabinets and frig? And then what about at school, sports, and friends houses or just going out with friends? These things are largely centered around providing junk food options. If a teen was so included, they could easily eat hundreds of calories worth of junk most days, without you buying it, approving, or even knowing.

PP who was the teenage bulimic here, and this is one reason why it’s so difficult. Teenage bodies—even overweight ones—have different nutritional needs than adult ones. So mom or dad might be able to tightly control what’s served at mealtimes—probably basing portion sizes on their own level of adult hunger—but their kids are still hungry. They will find a way to make up the difference and if they’ve been made to feel ashamed for that hunger at home, they’ll find food elsewhere.

Track calories for a month without dieting, then reduce 10% and see how it goes, adjust from there

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The way to disrupt the constant hunger is to work. Teens should be busy working or volunteering so that they aren't always eating. Mine works a FT summer job and does power washing on the weekends. He eats regular meals and has no time for snacking.

Mine could not be busier-- after school activities, two sports (one travel). Doesn't get home from school/camp until after 3 or 4, leaves for sports most night at 6. Still finds time to snack and overeat. (See all threads above about how they get fed at so many of these activities).

All these parents with kids who don't have eating issues are so certain it wouldn't happen to their kids. You are not better parents or better at helping your kids be healthy: you are lucky your kid has good genes.

If you know he’s overeating outside the home, feed him less at home. Have absolutely zero junk available at home. You can only control what you can control, but it sounds like you want to just throw up your hands and blame it all on bad luck or bad genes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BMI is ridiculous tho. For most people, I guess, it's reasonable, but there are plenty of people who are outliers.

I'm 5'10 and my senior year of HS when I was a three-sport athlete who could run a 7min mile, I weight 210. I have very broad shoulders and chest... I was in AMAZING shape, but I had an obese BMI. As a 40-something, I've gained some weight, but I wouldn't want to weigh less than 220 and I would be GAUNT if I weighed anything close the maximum BMI for my height's "normal weight".

That’s quite the muscle mass if you were female, 5’10” and 210#.
My brother is that height, sued to do Ironmans and marathons. Then with four kids, very senior level work demands and more eating out and drinking is indeed obese at 210#.

I think the poster you’re responding to also has no clue what “gaunt” means. But of course, EVERYONE is that superhero-level muscular exception to BMI. America’s reputation of being fat is undeserved, obviously.

gaunt means lean or haggard and looking as if you're suffering from hunger. As the poster who said I would look gaunt I stand by that. At 200 I would slender, 190 I would look thin, 180 I would look very thin and 175, which is the max BMI for "normal weight" at 5'10 I would look gaunt.

Funny, my husband says exactly the same thing but he has non-alcoholic fatty steatohepatitis (fatty liver)

"I was that thin one time and I looked so sick" blabla

I google imaged 5'10'' 210lb; if you don't have a rippling six pack and body builder muscles, you are just fat. Sorry.

Lol, okay. I always weigh about 30-40 pounds more than people would guess. In HS i looked like I weighed about 180, but I didn't. Big solid shoulders.

I'm not hugely concerned about what your estimate is—unlike your husband, I'm extremely healthy. Low cholesterol, no sign of diabetes, high blood pressure, liver is great and I ride a bike 10-20 miles 2-3x a week. Heart is healthy as hell. My doctor thinks I should lose weight to relieve heartburn, knee pain and apnea, but agrees that 220lb or so would be an ideal weight. *shrug*

weird that it bothers you—my only point is that BMI is a formula that imagines everyone has the same frame, and very few people fit perfectly, most people fit roughly and there are outliers on either end. Which means it's not a bad idea, but it's not the be-all, end-all of what makes someone fat or not.

[Anonymous]

They overweight teens I know have at least overweight parent, usually their mother. They consume way too many calories like their mom.

We went on vacation with two of these families and they were insistent on bringing tons of good. I didn’t because I knew we’d be going to the grocery store soon upon arrival. They were almost constantly eating for the entire week. We’d eat breakfast and go to the beach where they’d pack a day’s worth of food that they ate with 2 hrs of breakfast. Then lunch was an hour or two later and then they’d repack the cooler for the afternoon. There wasn’t a 2 hr period where they weren’t eating. It was incredible but shouldn’t have been surprising because they were all overweight and so were the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BMI is ridiculous tho. For most people, I guess, it's reasonable, but there are plenty of people who are outliers.

I'm 5'10 and my senior year of HS when I was a three-sport athlete who could run a 7min mile, I weight 210. I have very broad shoulders and chest... I was in AMAZING shape, but I had an obese BMI. As a 40-something, I've gained some weight, but I wouldn't want to weigh less than 220 and I would be GAUNT if I weighed anything close the maximum BMI for my height's "normal weight".

That’s quite the muscle mass if you were female, 5’10” and 210#.
My brother is that height, sued to do Ironmans and marathons. Then with four kids, very senior level work demands and more eating out and drinking is indeed obese at 210#.

I think the poster you’re responding to also has no clue what “gaunt” means. But of course, EVERYONE is that superhero-level muscular exception to BMI. America’s reputation of being fat is undeserved, obviously.

gaunt means lean or haggard and looking as if you're suffering from hunger. As the poster who said I would look gaunt I stand by that. At 200 I would slender, 190 I would look thin, 180 I would look very thin and 175, which is the max BMI for "normal weight" at 5'10 I would look gaunt.

Funny, my husband says exactly the same thing but he has non-alcoholic fatty steatohepatitis (fatty liver)

"I was that thin one time and I looked so sick" blabla

I google imaged 5'10'' 210lb; if you don't have a rippling six pack and body builder muscles, you are just fat. Sorry.

Lol, okay. I always weigh about 30-40 pounds more than people would guess. In HS i looked like I weighed about 180, but I didn't. Big solid shoulders.

I'm not hugely concerned about what your estimate is—unlike your husband, I'm extremely healthy. Low cholesterol, no sign of diabetes, high blood pressure, liver is great and I ride a bike 10-20 miles 2-3x a week. Heart is healthy as hell. My doctor thinks I should lose weight to relieve heartburn, knee pain and apnea, but agrees that 220lb or so would be an ideal weight. *shrug*

weird that it bothers you—my only point is that BMI is a formula that imagines everyone has the same frame, and very few people fit perfectly, most people fit roughly and there are outliers on either end. Which means it's not a bad idea, but it's not the be-all, end-all of what makes someone fat or not.

So you're fat. And the BMI *does* apply to you.

My chubby hubby wouldn't know about his fatty liver if he didn't have gallstones, zero symptoms

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They overweight teens I know have at least overweight parent, usually their mother. They consume way too many calories like their mom.

We went on vacation with two of these families and they were insistent on bringing tons of good. I didn’t because I knew we’d be going to the grocery store soon upon arrival. They were almost constantly eating for the entire week. We’d eat breakfast and go to the beach where they’d pack a day’s worth of food that they ate with 2 hrs of breakfast. Then lunch was an hour or two later and then they’d repack the cooler for the afternoon. There wasn’t a 2 hr period where they weren’t eating. It was incredible but shouldn’t have been surprising because they were all overweight and so were the kids.

My little sister ballooned up in weight around 5/6 years old and both of my parents are/were slim. My dad was a string bean until he died, and my mom was really fit until menopause in her 50s. My sister remained big through her teen years, although as an adult she’s now maybe a size 12 so I truly do think she’s now as small as she can get herself, the fat cells from being obese as a child are stronger than our fairly decent genetics.

What happened at 5/6? My parents divorced, and she developed emotional eating and sugar cravings. All of us were diagnosed adhd in adulthood so that’s also something to think about how that manifests in impulsive behavior and sugar aka dopamine seeking

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The way to disrupt the constant hunger is to work. Teens should be busy working or volunteering so that they aren't always eating. Mine works a FT summer job and does power washing on the weekends. He eats regular meals and has no time for snacking.

Mine could not be busier-- after school activities, two sports (one travel). Doesn't get home from school/camp until after 3 or 4, leaves for sports most night at 6. Still finds time to snack and overeat. (See all threads above about how they get fed at so many of these activities).

All these parents with kids who don't have eating issues are so certain it wouldn't happen to their kids. You are not better parents or better at helping your kids be healthy: you are lucky your kid has good genes.

If you know he’s overeating outside the home, feed him less at home. Have absolutely zero junk available at home. You can only control what you can control, but it sounds like you want to just throw up your hands and blame it all on bad luck or bad genes.

You're so smart-- you have all the answers-- no junk food and feed a kid less, why didn't I think about that?

Such smug parenting. I seriously -- truly-- hope you never have a child struggle with their weight. Though, I kind of wish more of you did because then you'd understand how hard it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why doesn't the nutritionist want your child to log calories?

How is this even a question? It sets teen girls up for disordered eating patterns. To the OP- your daughter may be overweight, but your approach is setting her up for a lifetime of disordered eating to boot. Did she ask for your advice? Does she want your help with her weight? If not, then you’re doing much more harm to her than good.

My advice to the OP:

-model healthy eating and attitudes toward food and weight
-verbal affirmation from you regularly - whatever non-weight related things you can praise
-be a listening ear and provide advice if asked but do not be critical of her weight or body
-be attuned to what’s going on socially. Does she have good peer influences? Any chance she is or has been bullied? You need to ask her good, thoughtful questions.

One could make the argument that eating oneself into overweight status is already an eating disorder.

Exactly this! She already has disordered eating. If your kid had some other kind of health disorder, you would jump in to help. But, with food, everyone is supposed to passively sit back and watch their kids balloon up for fear that their kid will become “disordered.” But they already are!

She’s not going to thank you for telling her she was a cute chubby teen when she’s a chronically overweight diabetic 45 year old.

NP. I was overweight as a tween/young teen. Not obese, but about 30-35 pounds more than the ideal weight I eventually settled into as an adult. My parents’ “concern” led me to calorie count and restrict obsessively. Lost weight and my parents were so proud, yay! But the calorie restriction led to a massive over correction in which I started binge eating every day after school, which led to incredible feelings of shame (I let my parents down!), and then about a decade of hardcore secretive bulimia.

Which is all to say that weight loss is an incredibly delicate matter for a teenage girl. There’s so much wrapped up in it, I urge parents to tread very lightly and be very careful not to shame your girls for enjoying food. (I still struggle with this as a parent.) Build them up in other ways, keep them busy, get them moving, but the focus should not be on the food and the calories.

Do you think you would have been any less screwed up if your parents had handed you pills as a teen and told you it was because you have no self control?

Because the LuLus on this thread think that’s A-ok, but that feeding your kid steamed vegetables and fish and telling them to put down the second slice of cake is child abuse.

NP. I don’t think it is child abuse, but I also don’t think you can control this in a teen. So you feed them fish and vegetables for dinner. What’s stopping them from making themselves some rice, or eating a couple bowls of cereal after? Or a peanut butter sandwich? Are
You going to guard the kitchen? Lock the cabinets and frig? And then what about at school, sports, and friends houses or just going out with friends? These things are largely centered around providing junk food options. If a teen was so included, they could easily eat hundreds of calories worth of junk most days, without you buying it, approving, or even knowing.

You don't need to buy cereal, rice, and peanut butter. We don't buy cereal on a regular basis because it's expensive and doesn't last long. My kids don't like rice (it causes constipation) and I only buy peanut butter during the school year for lunches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The way to disrupt the constant hunger is to work. Teens should be busy working or volunteering so that they aren't always eating. Mine works a FT summer job and does power washing on the weekends. He eats regular meals and has no time for snacking.

Mine could not be busier-- after school activities, two sports (one travel). Doesn't get home from school/camp until after 3 or 4, leaves for sports most night at 6. Still finds time to snack and overeat. (See all threads above about how they get fed at so many of these activities).

All these parents with kids who don't have eating issues are so certain it wouldn't happen to their kids. You are not better parents or better at helping your kids be healthy: you are lucky your kid has good genes.

If you know he’s overeating outside the home, feed him less at home. Have absolutely zero junk available at home. You can only control what you can control, but it sounds like you want to just throw up your hands and blame it all on bad luck or bad genes.

You're so smart-- you have all the answers-- no junk food and feed a kid less, why didn't I think about that?

Such smug parenting. I seriously -- truly-- hope you never have a child struggle with their weight. Though, I kind of wish more of you did because then you'd understand how hard it is.

My kids are not fat, but I am. I have been up and down my whole life. Interestingly, it started with parental divorce as pp mentioned. What works for me is weight watchers. Look for a formal program for your kiddo. Cutting a bit here and there doesn't really give results, I can tell you from personal experience

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The way to disrupt the constant hunger is to work. Teens should be busy working or volunteering so that they aren't always eating. Mine works a FT summer job and does power washing on the weekends. He eats regular meals and has no time for snacking.

Mine could not be busier-- after school activities, two sports (one travel). Doesn't get home from school/camp until after 3 or 4, leaves for sports most night at 6. Still finds time to snack and overeat. (See all threads above about how they get fed at so many of these activities).

All these parents with kids who don't have eating issues are so certain it wouldn't happen to their kids. You are not better parents or better at helping your kids be healthy: you are lucky your kid has good genes.

If you know he’s overeating outside the home, feed him less at home. Have absolutely zero junk available at home. You can only control what you can control, but it sounds like you want to just throw up your hands and blame it all on bad luck or bad genes.

You're so smart-- you have all the answers-- no junk food and feed a kid less, why didn't I think about that?

Such smug parenting. I seriously -- truly-- hope you never have a child struggle with their weight. Though, I kind of wish more of you did because then you'd understand how hard it is.

My kids are not fat, but I am. I have been up and down my whole life. Interestingly, it started with parental divorce as pp mentioned. What works for me is weight watchers. Look for a formal program for your kiddo. Cutting a bit here and there doesn't really give results, I can tell you from personal experience

YOU DO NOT PUT A CHILD ON WEIGHT WATCHERS. OMFG.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The way to disrupt the constant hunger is to work. Teens should be busy working or volunteering so that they aren't always eating. Mine works a FT summer job and does power washing on the weekends. He eats regular meals and has no time for snacking.

Mine could not be busier-- after school activities, two sports (one travel). Doesn't get home from school/camp until after 3 or 4, leaves for sports most night at 6. Still finds time to snack and overeat. (See all threads above about how they get fed at so many of these activities).

All these parents with kids who don't have eating issues are so certain it wouldn't happen to their kids. You are not better parents or better at helping your kids be healthy: you are lucky your kid has good genes.

If you know he’s overeating outside the home, feed him less at home. Have absolutely zero junk available at home. You can only control what you can control, but it sounds like you want to just throw up your hands and blame it all on bad luck or bad genes.

You're so smart-- you have all the answers-- no junk food and feed a kid less, why didn't I think about that?

Such smug parenting. I seriously -- truly-- hope you never have a child struggle with their weight. Though, I kind of wish more of you did because then you'd understand how hard it is.

My kids are not fat, but I am. I have been up and down my whole life. Interestingly, it started with parental divorce as pp mentioned. What works for me is weight watchers. Look for a formal program for your kiddo. Cutting a bit here and there doesn't really give results, I can tell you from personal experience

YOU DO NOT PUT A CHILD ON WEIGHT WATCHERS. OMFG.

There are formal programs for kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why doesn't the nutritionist want your child to log calories?

How is this even a question? It sets teen girls up for disordered eating patterns. To the OP- your daughter may be overweight, but your approach is setting her up for a lifetime of disordered eating to boot. Did she ask for your advice? Does she want your help with her weight? If not, then you’re doing much more harm to her than good.

My advice to the OP:

-model healthy eating and attitudes toward food and weight
-verbal affirmation from you regularly - whatever non-weight related things you can praise
-be a listening ear and provide advice if asked but do not be critical of her weight or body
-be attuned to what’s going on socially. Does she have good peer influences? Any chance she is or has been bullied? You need to ask her good, thoughtful questions.

One could make the argument that eating oneself into overweight status is already an eating disorder.

Exactly this! She already has disordered eating. If your kid had some other kind of health disorder, you would jump in to help. But, with food, everyone is supposed to passively sit back and watch their kids balloon up for fear that their kid will become “disordered.” But they already are!

She’s not going to thank you for telling her she was a cute chubby teen when she’s a chronically overweight diabetic 45 year old.

NP. I was overweight as a tween/young teen. Not obese, but about 30-35 pounds more than the ideal weight I eventually settled into as an adult. My parents’ “concern” led me to calorie count and restrict obsessively. Lost weight and my parents were so proud, yay! But the calorie restriction led to a massive over correction in which I started binge eating every day after school, which led to incredible feelings of shame (I let my parents down!), and then about a decade of hardcore secretive bulimia.

Which is all to say that weight loss is an incredibly delicate matter for a teenage girl. There’s so much wrapped up in it, I urge parents to tread very lightly and be very careful not to shame your girls for enjoying food. (I still struggle with this as a parent.) Build them up in other ways, keep them busy, get them moving, but the focus should not be on the food and the calories.

Do you think you would have been any less screwed up if your parents had handed you pills as a teen and told you it was because you have no self control?

Because the LuLus on this thread think that’s A-ok, but that feeding your kid steamed vegetables and fish and telling them to put down the second slice of cake is child abuse.

NP. I don’t think it is child abuse, but I also don’t think you can control this in a teen. So you feed them fish and vegetables for dinner. What’s stopping them from making themselves some rice, or eating a couple bowls of cereal after? Or a peanut butter sandwich? Are
You going to guard the kitchen? Lock the cabinets and frig? And then what about at school, sports, and friends houses or just going out with friends? These things are largely centered around providing junk food options. If a teen was so included, they could easily eat hundreds of calories worth of junk most days, without you buying it, approving, or even knowing.

Here’s the thing though—as a PP said, the overweight kids almost all have at least one overweight parent and the bad habits start there. So this fiction that mom is serving fish and steamed veggies and tofu snacks and junior is fat because his friends stuff him with junk food doesn’t exist. It’s just all excuses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The way to disrupt the constant hunger is to work. Teens should be busy working or volunteering so that they aren't always eating. Mine works a FT summer job and does power washing on the weekends. He eats regular meals and has no time for snacking.

Mine could not be busier-- after school activities, two sports (one travel). Doesn't get home from school/camp until after 3 or 4, leaves for sports most night at 6. Still finds time to snack and overeat. (See all threads above about how they get fed at so many of these activities).

All these parents with kids who don't have eating issues are so certain it wouldn't happen to their kids. You are not better parents or better at helping your kids be healthy: you are lucky your kid has good genes.

If you know he’s overeating outside the home, feed him less at home. Have absolutely zero junk available at home. You can only control what you can control, but it sounds like you want to just throw up your hands and blame it all on bad luck or bad genes.

You're so smart-- you have all the answers-- no junk food and feed a kid less, why didn't I think about that?

Such smug parenting. I seriously -- truly-- hope you never have a child struggle with their weight. Though, I kind of wish more of you did because then you'd understand how hard it is.

My kids are not fat, but I am. I have been up and down my whole life. Interestingly, it started with parental divorce as pp mentioned. What works for me is weight watchers. Look for a formal program for your kiddo. Cutting a bit here and there doesn't really give results, I can tell you from personal experience

YOU DO NOT PUT A CHILD ON WEIGHT WATCHERS. OMFG.

WW takes kids age 13-17 (!)