So, Whose Husband Has Done Absolutely Nothing for Valentine’s Day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you need a day out of the year to show love, then you're screwed. Real families and couples have things to do.

I'll turn it around

If you can't plan 5 min. in a day to run out and get some chocolates (or something your spouse likes) on Valentines Day, you're not only screwed, you're a thoughtless POS.

Look, is Valentines silly? Sure. And we do very little and don't make it a big deal. But we manage to find the few min, to get each other some sort of treat we like. It's not hard so stop making excuses.

If you BOTH don't want to do anything, that's fine too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope for daily affection, kindness, and love. I never seek it on a calendar appointed day.

Grow up and stop wasting money & time.

I'm sad that you're too dumb to figure out that you can get flowers and chocolates ON valentines day AND ALSO throughout the entire year, every year. You can have BOTH in your life lol not just one or the other.

This. Right? Putting aside the first PP's superiority, you can have BOTH things.

[Anonymous]

We don't go big so I got DW a fancy heart shaped jewelry box, a gorgeous pocket mirror, a fancy french bar of soap, a tshirt with a retro logo of her favorite band that she loved, and a cute small book that asks 50 questions where I fill in the blank about her. I got nothing but nice love making at the end of the day (where I did most of the work honestly). Not upset just happy I made her smile.

[Anonymous]

I just wish the people starting these threads would just share what their real relationship issues are instead of just complaining about a made up holiday.

[Anonymous]

We are late 40s, 2 kids, been together 25 years. I made him a cute basket full of some foodie-type things - it’s technically for the whole family but geared more toward him, and he ordered some special dessert treats we will all enjoy.

I have learned over the 25 years of up and down that it’s really important to voice expectations around these kinds of things. If I tell him something is important, and vice versa, we will remember and respond accordingly. But expecting someone to read minds is really not good for relationships.

We had a really bad downward spiral in our marriage when our kids were really young and we did counseling and completely reinvented our marriage and it made such a difference for a couple years, but then we kind of got back into old patterns and in the last year or so I have really tried to up my game and he has responded. He knows I want to be a little bit more affectionate and romantic and we’ve stepped it up a bit. We are trying to have sex more, which is so tough with two teens in a small house. But we try! And do more overnight date nights, recognize birthdays in a big way, etc.

My main point is communicate about these things and see happens. My advice to OP is to give him the chocolates! Honestly, if you model behavior he will likely pick things up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I bought him some chocolates, but I probably won’t give them to him. I’m just feeling really sad.

Do people really like chocolates? I don't hate chocolate, but I have never liked the sample things for the holidays. If someone gave that to me I would give it away.

[Anonymous]

PP here. It was his favorite kind of chocolates. But I waited all day, and he did absolutely nothing. No dinner out, no flowers, no candy, no card. Call me petty, but those are my chocolates now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bought him some chocolates, but I probably won’t give them to him. I’m just feeling really sad.

Do people really like chocolates? I don't hate chocolate, but I have never liked the sample things for the holidays. If someone gave that to me I would give it away.

NP here. I’m not particularly a huge chocolate fan but if someone gave me any kind of chocolate, I’d happily eat it, Russell Stover sampler and all.

[Anonymous]

Damn straight.

[Anonymous]

I still want to know what happened with the woman and her boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both of us. We don’t do Valentine’s Day. Never really have. Married 24 years.

Same , hitting 20 this year

[Anonymous]

We agreed to let it go this year but only for ourselves. Husband came home with chocolate for our daughter and I got her other candy, so there was stuff for her. And then today, I was already at the store picking up a prescription so I grabbed some discounted roses for the kitchen! It was a win all the way around!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We never do anything for Valentine’s Day, so we stuck with that tradition. He DID, however, order flowers for his girlfriend which seems a bit uncool.

Your husband’s “girlfriend” got flowers??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH got a box of chocolates for the family, I got a box of desserts for the family. Happy V day! No stress!

Not op but I really liked this idea.
I gave my ds a box of chocolates.
Dh and I didnt exchange anything. Sadly not even a card.
I did sulk a bit but I love flowers on Valentines days… I know, silly me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just wish the people starting these threads would just share what their real relationship issues are instead of just complaining about a made up holiday.

With empathy, I think that someone who is upset about Valentine's Day going unobserved by their spouse may still be struggling to see what the real issues are in their marriage. They are fixating on this thing that ultimately doesn't matter because some part of them hoped their husband would make some special gesture that would make up for whatever it is they are actually upset about. But they don't want to think about that stuff. It's easier to be mad they didn't get flowers or candy or jewelry or whatever on Valentine's Day. People break up over stuff like this and then later the man is like "can you believe my wife was so mad about Valentine's Day?" even though also they had not had sex in 8 months. But that's a hard conversation to have so some people will look anywhere but the obvious place.