So, Whose Husband Has Done Absolutely Nothing for Valentine’s Day?

[Anonymous]

Most of the harpies in VA get farts and burps on V day. That’s why they are so bitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We never do anything for Valentine’s Day, so we stuck with that tradition. He DID, however, order flowers for his girlfriend which seems a bit uncool.

How do you know he did?

I’ve had access to his email (with his knowledge) for the past 20 years. It’s more interesting now that he thinks I’m a moron and don’t know about his affair.

So - could be worse! Just not getting anything sounds great at this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless there is some surprise coming later, which I strongly doubt, I am raising my hand.

Mine, and if he did anything I'd have been unhappy. We have 2 in college, a third soon to be, and Valentines Day is a stupid, made-up holiday.

He shows he loves me by helping take care of our family, by supporting me in choices we have both made along the way, and by allowing me to put my freezing cold feet on his warm body in bed during winter. Amd so many other ways I can't even count. I don't need or want him to spend a penny on over-priced chocolate or flowers that are tanking the environment by being picked, refrigerated, and flown thousands of miles to get to me because someone thought we all needed roses in February

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of the harpies in VA get farts and burps on V day. That’s why they are so bitter.

What do you have against VA? Is it all love and roses over in MD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are late 40s, 2 kids, been together 25 years. I made him a cute basket full of some foodie-type things - it’s technically for the whole family but geared more toward him, and he ordered some special dessert treats we will all enjoy.

I have learned over the 25 years of up and down that it’s really important to voice expectations around these kinds of things. If I tell him something is important, and vice versa, we will remember and respond accordingly. But expecting someone to read minds is really not good for relationships.

We had a really bad downward spiral in our marriage when our kids were really young and we did counseling and completely reinvented our marriage and it made such a difference for a couple years, but then we kind of got back into old patterns and in the last year or so I have really tried to up my game and he has responded. He knows I want to be a little bit more affectionate and romantic and we’ve stepped it up a bit. We are trying to have sex more, which is so tough with two teens in a small house. But we try! And do more overnight date nights, recognize birthdays in a big way, etc.

My main point is communicate about these things and see happens. My advice to OP is to give him the chocolates! Honestly, if you model behavior he will likely pick things up.

I think this is good advice for marriage but not for dating.

[Anonymous]

My DH got me a gorgeous bouquet of two dozen roses. But I literally had to send him the link to the florist to buy them. If you have a partner whose love language is definitely not gifts (my DH's is acts of service), you have to tell them what you want. I had to work on Valentine's Day, so we couldn't go out to dinner like we usually do. But when DH got home he found heart-shaped chocolates all over his desk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless there is some surprise coming later, which I strongly doubt, I am raising my hand.

Mine, and if he did anything I'd have been unhappy. We have 2 in college, a third soon to be, and Valentines Day is a stupid, made-up holiday.

He shows he loves me by helping take care of our family, by supporting me in choices we have both made along the way, and by allowing me to put my freezing cold feet on his warm body in bed during winter. Amd so many other ways I can't even count. I don't need or want him to spend a penny on over-priced chocolate or flowers that are tanking the environment by being picked, refrigerated, and flown thousands of miles to get to me because someone thought we all needed roses in February

The lady with protest too much, methinks

[Anonymous]

My husband's birthday is on Valentine's Day and I've always felt a little cheated

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband's birthday is on Valentine's Day and I've always felt a little cheated

How do you think he feels? FFS He's the one who doesn't get a special day to himself.

[Anonymous]

My husband's birthday is on Valentine's Day and I've always felt a little cheated.

Oh, the pain!!! Mine is on 25 December. STFU.

[Anonymous]

This isn't really answering the question but my kids told me XH didn't get his new girlfriend anything for Valentine's Day. Have to admit I found that amusing because he never did for me either, and he's only been with her a year. I, on the other hand, enjoyed getting spoiled on Valentine's Day for the first time.

[Anonymous]

Why are women expecting something on Valentine’s Day? St. Valentine was a Christian martyr put to death by the Romans.

https://www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=159

And what did you do for your DH?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband, who has inattentive ADHD and is incapable of planning ahead, has hit on the plan of watching the news regularly to know when such holidays are upon him, and suggesting we get a fancy dessert on the actual day. He's also made chocolate treats himself, when he's had the time.

But shopping for Christmas or birthday presents? Not on your life. He will look up from his work on Christmas Eve and ask what I got for everyone, including the kids. And sometimes not even that - he just finds out when they open their presents. He will get me one useful, practical gift on Amazon, but I'm the only person he shops for.

I hope your husband hasn't entirely forgotten, OP. Maybe you can suggest something this evening.

Me and 3 of my dearest female friends all have adhd and none of us ever forget christmas is coming. ever. I may be wrapping all night xmas eve despite swearing I'd never do it again; I might be using blue painters tape because i forgot to buy more clear tape, but I have never, ever forgot to buy presents. Don't excuse him.

[Anonymous]

I am starting to think that my husband actually forgot it was Valentine’s Day. Not because he is sweet and would never miss it, but because I think he would go out of his way to point out that he wasn’t doing anything for me. And yes, our marriage is rocky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband's birthday is on Valentine's Day and I've always felt a little cheated

How do you feel cheated? Your husband has to share his birthday with another Hallmark/florist holiday and you feel cheated. You sound very selfish.

My grandsons birthday is on Valentines day and me and my daughters his mother included would much rather celebrate him. For which we do. We make the day about him.

My husband did get me roses and our daughters chocolate but I would have been fine if he hadn't gotten me anything.