Reply to So, Whose Husband Has Done Absolutely Nothing for Valentine’s Day?

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Reply to "So, Whose Husband Has Done Absolutely Nothing for Valentine’s Day?"

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[quote=Anonymous]We are late 40s, 2 kids, been together 25 years. I made him a cute basket full of some foodie-type things - it’s technically for the whole family but geared more toward him, and he ordered some special dessert treats we will all enjoy.

I have learned over the 25 years of up and down that it’s really important to voice expectations around these kinds of things. If I tell him something is important, and vice versa, we will remember and respond accordingly. But expecting someone to read minds is really not good for relationships.

We had a really bad downward spiral in our marriage when our kids were really young and we did counseling and completely reinvented our marriage and it made such a difference for a couple years, but then we kind of got back into old patterns and in the last year or so I have really tried to up my game and he has responded. He knows I want to be a little bit more affectionate and romantic and we’ve stepped it up a bit. We are trying to have sex more, which is so tough with two teens in a small house. But we try! And do more overnight date nights, recognize birthdays in a big way, etc.

My main point is communicate about these things and see happens. My advice to OP is to give him the chocolates! Honestly, if you model  behavior he will likely pick things up.[/quote]

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