Why would he be in a random parking lot?

[Anonymous]

I routinely use it to help time dinner on the days DH goes into the office. My kids also often have substitute bus drivers who screw up the route and delay their getting home.

lame

[Anonymous]

One possibility is a phone call

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I and the kids all track each other all the time. No one thinks anything of it. I know lots of friends like this. It takes two seconds to check if someone arrived safely or has left yet.

This. I don’t get it either. There are literal apps people pay money for to do this. This thread is weird.

I guess I’m a shit wife because I’ve checked to see many a time how long I have/how far away DH is until he gets home for many a benign and sundry reason. One instance that comes to mind is the time I looked to see if he had already passed the grocery store on his way home from work, because I would have had him stop if he hadn’t, but didn’t want to bother his commute with a needless call. I guess I’m up his ass!

It’s a 2 second phone call…and maybe your spouse is exhausted and doesn’t want to go to the store, or has takeout in the car for dinner and doesn’t want it getting cold, etc. Just call them instead of tracking them like a creep.

Other PP here. Our spouses know we do this and are fine with it. They do it to us too. Its quick and practical if you have nothing to hide.

I’m the OPP and this exactly. That’s what the app is there for, and we have nothing to hide.

+1

I think OP’s mistake here was not necessarily checking on her husband’s location, but “confronting” him about it the second time she realized he was in the parking lot. Why did she assume this requires a confrontation? Does her husband not know she checks her location? There is some sort of trust breakdown here. I think OP and her husband should pursue marriage counseling before things get worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The issue is that he didn’t tell you he needs time alone or to decompress. Why?

Because some partners don’t react well to their partner saying “I love you, and I need 30 minutes without anyone interacting with me - including you”. See the “triffling” poster above.

Most likely OP’s DH believes OP would react that way. In fact, he may have been dropping hints, asking her to give him some alone time at home.

Unfortunately my husband is like that - I need a few hours a week at home alone with minimal work demands. It doesn’t happen that much anymore because my husband the rarely leaves the house these days.

He now knows I need that, but trying to get him to not that it personally was (is?) haaaard.

[Anonymous]

You posted this before!

[Anonymous]

I will literally drive in circles around the house for 45 minutes sometimes so I am ready to check into family life when I walk through the door.

The problem with a WFH spouse is that they are deprived of social interaction and look to their spouse to fill that void. If he can’t come in the door and spend 30 minutes alone in the bedroom decompressing, he’s going to find other places to do it.

[Anonymous]

I am a mom and have been known to sit in my car for an hr alone before entering the house to the chaos.

[Anonymous]

And why are you monitoring him like this? It must feel smothering to him.

[Anonymous]

Op there is an empty vacant parking lot that I walk passed everyday during my walk there are at least 3 cars with men taking naps, on their phone, eating, relaxing basically I'm come to realize they are not wanting to go home yet. It's pretty shocking and sad. Your husband could be one of the guys I see. That's messed up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The issue is that he didn’t tell you he needs time alone or to decompress. Why?

Because some partners don’t react well to their partner saying “I love you, and I need 30 minutes without anyone interacting with me - including you”. See the “triffling” poster above.

Most likely OP’s DH believes OP would react that way. In fact, he may have been dropping hints, asking her to give him some alone time at home.

Unfortunately my husband is like that - I need a few hours a week at home alone with minimal work demands. It doesn’t happen that much anymore because my husband the rarely leaves the house these days.

He now knows I need that, but trying to get him to not that it personally was (is?) haaaard.

+1. My DH smothers me and can’t seem to understand I need time alone and it has nothing to do with him. I find myself going out of my way to get alone time in weird ways and would consider sitting alone in a parking lot if I could get away with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And why are you monitoring him like this? It must feel smothering to him.

I get it’s out of love but this seems unhealthy. My own mother was like this towards her family members and it pushed me away. What you’re doing seems a bit stalkerish.

[Anonymous]

You really should have not said a thing and drove down to see for yourself what he was up to. You gave it away!

[Anonymous]

My first thought was Pokémon go.

[Anonymous]

I find it very easy to fall asleep in my car. I will take naps in it - it’s the only place people can’t find me!

[Anonymous]

Yes I think it sounds believable. I do this sometimes. He could also be getting bjs.