Has anyone successfully avoided giving their *high school* kids smart phones?

[Anonymous]

We waited until 7th grade for our kids so that they could start MS with a phone. I got them the night before MS started. At that age, there is a LOT of social communication happening online between kids, and I did realize that my kids were missing out on it in prior years. I am still happy that we didn't get it for elementary school, as they played outside a ton and managed to do other things. Now, however, their sports teams, school clubs, classes, etc. have group chats and I want the kids to be a part of that.

Verizon - like almost all plans - has a parent smart app where you can set time limits. I have my kids' phones down during school hours, and set a shut down time in the evening. School hours can be customized to allow openings for lunch/breaks, if you like. You can also ban certain apps (TikTok, YouTube, or whatever); block callers; add limits on data/msgs/calls; etc if that is of interest.

Cell phone companies are well aware that parents want to monitor their children online, and you absolutely should. You can tailor their online experience to your family's needs.

[Anonymous]

I think there should be separate threads for parents of boys and girls. It’s not really the same or comparable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there should be separate threads for parents of boys and girls. It’s not really the same or comparable.

How so?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there should be separate threads for parents of boys and girls. It’s not really the same or comparable.

How so?

Lol

[Anonymous]

We have started my 7th grader with an iPhone with just Wi-Fi connection- no cell. All his sports/music lessons are in a place with Wi-Fi so if he needs to reach us he can. If he has to hop on a friend’s Wi-Fi he could if he had to, but I think it lessens the immediacy of having phone access everywhere, but still gives him texting ability for “plans.”
I know we are going to buy him a cell phone plan eventually, but we are putting that off. I would want my older teen who is driving/using public transportation to have cell access, but this is working for now.

He walks from middle school so I didn’t want him to text while walking home and he is the type that would do that and forget to look when he crosses the street. We also only send him with one of his two ear buds so he can’t be fully immersed.
WE all decided on down time limits ant least ann hour before bed he plugs everything in and screen times shuts everything off except music and the kindle app and his school is away for the day.
One step at time for us and I’m sure it could backfire, but there are ways to slowly add more responsibility/lessen the limits on a phone.

[Anonymous]

DP here but the kid could just ask their parent to get them the tickets on the parent's phone, if it's that important.

That assumes that the parent a) has a cell phone and b) has the time to do this.

Really, it's crazy that schools would expect this. I'm not against cell phones for kids, but I also don't think that they should be required in order to function in school and life. Not everyone can afford them and, of those who can, not everyone wants one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there should be separate threads for parents of boys and girls. It’s not really the same or comparable.

How so?

Lol

Thanks, that’s very helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there should be separate threads for parents of boys and girls. It’s not really the same or comparable.

How so?

I’m the PP. Like when posters say “my son doesn’t even want social media.” Or “My son doesn’t care that he doesn’t have a phone.” Or “My son’s friends don’t do group chats.” It’s just totally unhelpful and unrealistic to parents of girls and those posters have no clue. It’s like me saying “We don’t even have video games and my teens don’t care!” (Which is true; they are girls.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's so interesting to me that so many ppl are asking or saying that a kids social life will suffer. Don't kids live anywhere near their friends anymore?? Can't they see each other in person?

No. Who the F answers the door without a call or text first

I do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of you need to drop out of society and live in an off the grid cabin in Alaska because you’re not living in the real world anymore. The fear of technology is out of control.

My god this!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there should be separate threads for parents of boys and girls. It’s not really the same or comparable.

How so?

I’m the PP. Like when posters say “my son doesn’t even want social media.” Or “My son doesn’t care that he doesn’t have a phone.” Or “My son’s friends don’t do group chats.” It’s just totally unhelpful and unrealistic to parents of girls and those posters have no clue. It’s like me saying “We don’t even have video games and my teens don’t care!” (Which is true; they are girls.)

It really depends on the kid. I have a girl and a boy and I’ve seen both of their friends fall into black holes of phone addiction starting in middle school. They might not be looking at the same kind of stuff (although plenty of boys are on social media and plenty of girls are into video games), but the device and the methods of getting the kids hooked are essentially the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you want to socially cripple your kids, good luck.

+1

Between this and the apps needed for school (sports, grading/assignments etc) a high schooler needs a smart phone/iPhone. If you can’t trust them with a phone by the time they hit 9th, when can you?

[Anonymous]

Sigh I don’t want my kids to get sucked into porn. That’s a big issue nowadays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's so interesting to me that so many ppl are asking or saying that a kids social life will suffer. Don't kids live anywhere near their friends anymore?? Can't they see each other in person?

Are you writing from 1989?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you want to socially cripple your kids, good luck.

Don’t come here crying when yours ends up in suicide watch due to cyber bullying.

Are you always this absurdly melodramatic, or only on DCUM?